Never Be Clean

Jan 27, 2013 19:26

For: kissofcinnamon (Winterfest Leverageland)
Show: Leverage
Pairing: Eliot/Parker
Warnings: Mention of Character Death



Out of all the memories he had with them, that one was etched into the front part of his mind. It had been years since that day in the park, where he stood in front of the benches they sat on and told them that they were out of their league, that all of Moreau's men were worse than him. They didn't believe him. He could see it in their faces. That's when those words were spoken. "The worst thing I ever did in my entire life, I did for Damien Moreau. And I... I'll never be clean of that." They all wondered what he'd done, but Parker was the only one to ask and when he asked her not to, she didn't ask again. None of them did. Not even with their dying breath.

Nate and Sophie had been first. They fell asleep one night and just never woke up. Autopsy showed that both had a rare poison in their system. The cops had been able to trace the poison back to a restaurant that Nate and Sophie had visited that night. The chef had tried to run, but she couldn't out run some people. Eliot, Hardison, and Parker made sure of it.

Hardison had been next. He'd gone in for a routine appendectomy and later that night, after being cleared to go home, Parker found him on the floor in the bathroom. He'd bled out in his stomach because the doctor hadn't properly closed the wounds after removing the appendix. Parker had been pregnant. She lost the baby two days after the funeral.

Parker had gone through the motions, keeping her grief buried within her until she shut down and became a shell of her former self. Eliot moved her into his house, unable to trust that she would take care of herself if left alone. She didn't talk for a month, but one night, Eliot woke up to find her standing beside his bed with tears streaming down her face. She'd crawled into bed beside him and burrowed herself into the safety of his arms. Three years later, Parker was still burrowing herself into the safety of his arms.

It took getting used to, having someone there with him when he slept. He had to learn how to hide his nightmares and he'd done a good job of it too, until tonight. He'd woken up and found himself leaning over her, a knife pressed to her throat. Eliot had apologized profusely, scrambling back from her and attempting to leave, but she asked him to stay. Ten minutes had passed since he'd sat back down. Neither spoke. After twenty minutes, she finally said something.

"Whose Annie?"

Eliot looked over at her in surprise. "What?"

"You kept yelling out 'I'm sorry Annie.' You did it last night too." Parker said. "Who is she?"

Eliot sighed and looked away. "Parker..."

Parker scooted over to sit beside him. "You're having nightmares about her, Eliot."

Eliot shook his head softly, but said nothing.

"Please, Eliot." Parker said quietly. "You kept my nightmares away. Let me try to keep yours away."

Eliot couldn't say no once he looked in Parker's eyes. He'd never told anyone this...ever.

"Her name was Annie Moreau, Damien's sister." Eliot said softly. "What I did to her....it was the worst thing I've ever done in my entire life."

"What did you do?" Parker asked.

Eliot looked down at his hands. "I killed her."

For the next two hours, Parker listened quietly while Eliot spoke about why he'd left Moreau's. .

"Every single one of us knew she wouldn't have done that, Parker." Eliot said. "She wouldn't have betrayed him like that. Ever."

"It wasn't your fault, Eliot." Parker said.

"She got down on her knees and begged him to believe her, begged someone to help her convince him it wasn't true." Eliot said. "She looked right at me."

"Eliot...Moreau killed his sister. Not you." Parker insisted. "You didn't do anything."

"That's the problem, Parker. I didn't do anything. I could have helped her and I didn't even try." Eliot said, finally meeting here eyes. "And I'll never be clean of that."

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