losing the argument.
If I'm a Christian and someone expects me to behave "like a Christian should", will I do it? The answer is probably not. In the first place, the world isn't split into Christians and non-Christians. There're good Christians, lukewarm Christians and lousy Christians, some of us might have experienced the different sub-species first-hand. And secondly, why should I do it, if somebody expects me to? Even if it's for a good cause? If I don't feel like it? Would it be right to do something right, not because I want to, but because somebody expects me to?
The answer comes from within. I'm a good person because I choose to be and because I want to be, not because anyone asks it of me, not because anyone expects it of me. I don't have a problem with people's expectations of me per se but I do have a problem with the concept of expectations in general. If they're not immoral (and half the time where humanity is concerned, they aren't), they're amoral at best. There's always an element of self-gratification lurking beneath several layers of words. They're not completely wrong, they just....aren't right either.
And yes, it's good to do the right thing. But do I understand what I'm doing it for? Do I genuinely want to? Or am I just doing it because someone else expects it of me? If we could all do the right thing because other people are expecting it of us (and we know that there is no shortage of people always expecting us to do the right thing), then why aren't we doing it?
Because expectations aren't enough. Because at the end of the day, I am a good person because I want to be, because it is a lesson taught that I've accepted, because I acknowledge that this is exactly what I want to do. At the end of the day, no matter how many people expect it of me, their expectations mean nothing. I appreciate the effort it takes for them to maintain these expectations, but they are redundant. They did not help to make me a better person, they only served to make me more afraid of falling. Perhaps it only occurs in my case but I don't believe I'm that unique.
*
Da Nang was beautiful. So were the people. I felt spoilt but I can't believe how much love there is in that place. Going back is a certainty.
