vague thoughts are vague

[stellaluna_]

I work very hard at having a positive outlook on things -- against many of my natural tendencies, since I'm also a worrier by nature -- and at being nice to people even when they don't deserve it. Especially when they don't deserve it, on the theory that, if they're having genuine problems or struggling with their own private unhappiness, maybe the

Comments

[bilyana]

*hugs*

I hear you on the kindness and the brick walls. But Stel, don't take people's rudeness on your shoulders, and don't trust their limited views more than your own or those of the people who love you. You can and will never please everybody, but that doesn't doesn't make you any less wonderful or kind or good a person. (of course I don't know how close or important those people are to you, so I'm sorry if this sounds too casual. also for being a hypocrite telling you the things you already know while I haven't actually figured out how to put them into practice myself)

Anyway, keep it up, the world needs all the kindness it can get. And know that you are loved here ♥

[stellaluna_]

*hugs*

Thank you. You are absolutely right about all of that. And I think I know that deep down -- about not taking on other people's rudeness or trusting their views over mine or those of the people I trust and love -- but I definitely needed the reminder. Especially because, no, you don't sound too casual here: these aren't people whose opinions *should* matter. The people who I'm close to, who I care about, who I like, all of those people are really awesome. I just...lack the perspective sometimes, and the frustrations have been getting me down. (Which is also why it's good to talk about them, even if I kinda lack the words.)

I also agree that the world needs all the kindness it can get, which is why it's important to me to keep practicing that in spite of the crap that gets to me sometimes. And because I *am* loved, and have friends and other people who I love too, and those are the people who are important to me.

People like you who make the time for me. *hugs again*

[macslady]

I know the feeling. Especially what you say in the post over mine, about trusting other people's views over mine. That gets me really down too, sometimes, even though often these 'people' whose views I'm so concerned about I barely know/don't know at all. And I keep thinking to myself 'it shouldn't matter' but sometimes it really does bother me, and then I feel stupid because it bothers me, and it's just so frustrating

[coppertopp]

So sorry you've had to deal with people being like that. They are assholes. Don't let them get you down. You're awesome, just the way you are. I've missed you since I left work.

[stellaluna_]

Thank you. *hugs* I am working very hard on not letting these kind of people get me down, although sometimes it's more difficult than others. I've been having a rough time of it *not* letting it get to me recently, so I'm glad that I decided to talk about it (however vaguely and inarticulately I managed it).

I've missed you since you've left work, too! (I'm now the only girl in the department, too.)

[ltdanfan]

I think you have impact. You have made a difference in your internet relationship with us, long before they called it 'social networking'. I think you are well read, decent and kind, and a 'smarty pants' of all sorts of tidbits of knowledge that I know nothing of

[stellaluna_]

Thank you. I've also questioned how much of any kind of impact I have on people, so it makes me happy to hear that you feel I *have* had a positive one. That's what I always hope for, along with the whole striving for kindness thing I talked about in the post.

(and, oh yes, I totally do want to punch people in the neck sometimes, and it *does* make me smile to think that.)

I like the idea of the yin/yang symbol, too -- another thing that scarletts_awry and I talk about a lot is balance (which you also mention) and how to find it, both in ourselves and in the universe at large. I also agree with you about the scary people and predators, and how they can suck the life force from others. That's one of the things I was thinking about when I was making this post, about how some people are *so* focused on negativity, and on negative responses to everything/one around them. Those kind of people are absolutely exhausting and disheartening to deal with. One thing I keep thinking is how utterly miserable they must be, because if it's upsetting for someone