More One Piece crack fic? HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LUCO!!
Title: Sanji and Seashells
Rating: SAFE!
Pairing: NONE!
Warnings: Post-Water 7, but before the Thousand Sunny.
Summary: Sanji can no longer enjoy in his secret indulgence.
Disclaimer: I make nothing off this. Absolutely nada
Author’s note: Short ficlet for luco_millian in return for her beautiful art. Thoughts are in italic.
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. OK. Take a deep breath. One, two, thr… ARGH, I CAN’T!!!! Zoro watched the idiot cook close the box for the umpteenth time and bang his head into the wall. Anything linking the words pain and idiot cook was a good thing in his books. Even though he couldn’t be bothered with the perverted dartboard brow, the box itself fascinated him. What in the Grand Line could elicit such a reaction from Sanji? By the looks of it, the box would definitely hold something girlie, if the ribbons and the pink color was any indication. That would usually send the cook into a Mellorine stupor, not a self-mutilating spree. He made up his mind. When the cook went out, he’d take a look.
Opening the box was easy enough. Zoro unraveled the ribbons and pushed aside the soft tissue. Raising an eyebrow, he kept the box back exactly how he found it.
“Oi, mayuge!” Zoro greeted, walking towards the chain-smoking cook sitting at the steps of Dock 1. “I’m not in the mood to talk to you now, marimo. Get lost,” was the eloquent reply.
“Oi,” Zoro tried again. He’s as persistent as a lump of seamoss, I’ll give him that. Wait a minute, he IS one Sanji sighed and turned to the swordsman. “What do you want? If you want a fight, go find Luffy. If you want food, there’s some Mizu Mizu Candy on the next street.” “’m not hungry nor am I interested in kicking your skinny ass today.” Sanji lunged forward and gave Zoro’s head a deserving kick. “I’ll be the one to wipe your ass across Water 7.” Zoro rubbed the back of his head absently, “Yeah, yeah. You can try. What I wanna know is….Why are you so upset with that pink….ribbon..box-thing? I thought you loved those things. Are you sick or something?”
Sanji could do nothing as his jaw decided to drop to the ground. “Ha..ha…..ha..How did you know about that?” “I took a peek,” was said nonchalantly with a shrug. “You jackass!! What makes you think you can go through someone else’s personal things?!” Sanji raged. “You’re nakama, asshole! And nakama are supposed to help each other.” Zoro fended off several deadly kicks. That was enough to stop Sanji. “Wait. You mean, you were WORRIED about me?” Zoro rolled his eyes as if Sanji was a idiot, “Of course. So, what’s wrong?”
With the reminder of the contents in the box, Sanji slumped lifelessly back to the floor. “It’s nothing…Just…I….It….” “Oh, spit it out already. I’ve to get back to training.” Sanji stared incredulously at the swordsman. “Fine. I bought the seashell bikinis for Nami-swan and Robin-chwan. Can you imagine how lovely they’ll look wearing it? Like mermaids on land. Absolutely stunning. The delicate curves of their waist. Their assets accentuated by the shells, covering just enough, but not too much.” A not-too-soft knock to the head stopped Sanji’s rambling. “I know all that. You’ve been saying it forever. So what’s the deal?”
Sanji sighed and fished out a cigarette. “Well, you know when we were trapped in the tunnel at Enies Lobby?” Zoro nodded and watched Sanji light the cigarette and take a long, slow drag. “Ever since then, every time..Every goddammed time..I swear! Every time I look at those. I don’t see Nami-swan or Robin-chwan’s lovely visages anymore.” Sanji hung his head. “So, what do you see?”
On perfect cue, Kokoro-san walked by, waving to them. “What are you boys doing here? Wanna go to the pool? I’ll show you the beautiful form of a mermaid,” was followed by a wink in Sanji’s direction. Sanji made a strangled cry and ran off. “OI!!” Zoro called after him.
Zoro looked at the cloud of dirt left in Sanji’s wake. “Stupid aho ero-cook. Wasted my time here. Didn’t even tell me what’s wrong. Maybe the bikinis are haunted. I’ll just cut them up. That should purify them. Yeah, then maybe the aho cook will get his senses back,” muttered Zoro, heading in the opposite direction of the Strawhats’ makeshift living quarters.
Rating: SAFE!
Pairing: NONE!
Warnings: Post-Water 7, but before the Thousand Sunny.
Summary: Sanji can no longer enjoy in his secret indulgence.
Disclaimer: I make nothing off this. Absolutely nada
Author’s note: Short ficlet for luco_millian in return for her beautiful art. Thoughts are in italic.
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. OK. Take a deep breath. One, two, thr… ARGH, I CAN’T!!!! Zoro watched the idiot cook close the box for the umpteenth time and bang his head into the wall. Anything linking the words pain and idiot cook was a good thing in his books. Even though he couldn’t be bothered with the perverted dartboard brow, the box itself fascinated him. What in the Grand Line could elicit such a reaction from Sanji? By the looks of it, the box would definitely hold something girlie, if the ribbons and the pink color was any indication. That would usually send the cook into a Mellorine stupor, not a self-mutilating spree. He made up his mind. When the cook went out, he’d take a look.
Opening the box was easy enough. Zoro unraveled the ribbons and pushed aside the soft tissue. Raising an eyebrow, he kept the box back exactly how he found it.
“Oi, mayuge!” Zoro greeted, walking towards the chain-smoking cook sitting at the steps of Dock 1. “I’m not in the mood to talk to you now, marimo. Get lost,” was the eloquent reply.
“Oi,” Zoro tried again. He’s as persistent as a lump of seamoss, I’ll give him that. Wait a minute, he IS one Sanji sighed and turned to the swordsman. “What do you want? If you want a fight, go find Luffy. If you want food, there’s some Mizu Mizu Candy on the next street.” “’m not hungry nor am I interested in kicking your skinny ass today.” Sanji lunged forward and gave Zoro’s head a deserving kick. “I’ll be the one to wipe your ass across Water 7.” Zoro rubbed the back of his head absently, “Yeah, yeah. You can try. What I wanna know is….Why are you so upset with that pink….ribbon..box-thing? I thought you loved those things. Are you sick or something?”
Sanji could do nothing as his jaw decided to drop to the ground. “Ha..ha…..ha..How did you know about that?” “I took a peek,” was said nonchalantly with a shrug. “You jackass!! What makes you think you can go through someone else’s personal things?!” Sanji raged. “You’re nakama, asshole! And nakama are supposed to help each other.” Zoro fended off several deadly kicks. That was enough to stop Sanji. “Wait. You mean, you were WORRIED about me?” Zoro rolled his eyes as if Sanji was a idiot, “Of course. So, what’s wrong?”
With the reminder of the contents in the box, Sanji slumped lifelessly back to the floor. “It’s nothing…Just…I….It….” “Oh, spit it out already. I’ve to get back to training.” Sanji stared incredulously at the swordsman. “Fine. I bought the seashell bikinis for Nami-swan and Robin-chwan. Can you imagine how lovely they’ll look wearing it? Like mermaids on land. Absolutely stunning. The delicate curves of their waist. Their assets accentuated by the shells, covering just enough, but not too much.” A not-too-soft knock to the head stopped Sanji’s rambling. “I know all that. You’ve been saying it forever. So what’s the deal?”
Sanji sighed and fished out a cigarette. “Well, you know when we were trapped in the tunnel at Enies Lobby?” Zoro nodded and watched Sanji light the cigarette and take a long, slow drag. “Ever since then, every time..Every goddammed time..I swear! Every time I look at those. I don’t see Nami-swan or Robin-chwan’s lovely visages anymore.” Sanji hung his head. “So, what do you see?”
On perfect cue, Kokoro-san walked by, waving to them. “What are you boys doing here? Wanna go to the pool? I’ll show you the beautiful form of a mermaid,” was followed by a wink in Sanji’s direction. Sanji made a strangled cry and ran off. “OI!!” Zoro called after him.
Zoro looked at the cloud of dirt left in Sanji’s wake. “Stupid aho ero-cook. Wasted my time here. Didn’t even tell me what’s wrong. Maybe the bikinis are haunted. I’ll just cut them up. That should purify them. Yeah, then maybe the aho cook will get his senses back,” muttered Zoro, heading in the opposite direction of the Strawhats’ makeshift living quarters.