(no subject)

Jan 05, 2010 09:12

Me and my girlfriend Laura brok up ]:
Well, like, I just had a different opinion on purity rings, that some people who wear them don't wait.
And she freaked out, didn't talk to em for 4 hours, called me an idiot, said it was a huge sin to rbeak that promise, and that I was stupid and 'fuck you.' I watched her change her facebook status from 'ina relationship' to 'single' and broke down crying for thr 5th time lastnight.
I cried from 7-11:45.
I cut myself so bad, ym arm is currently numbing up, and it stings so fucking bad and is killing me, I've done this for a year and a half, stopped 4 months ago, and did it again.
My best friend Megan, She listened to me as I vented. This other girl Macayla, riduculed/comforted? Then some bitch stared yelling about how
'YOU JUST WANT ATTENTION, YOU WOULDN'T OF CUT YOURSELF, OR BE TALKIGN ABOUT IT IF YOU DIDN'T'
I was like 'Uhm, I'm talkign to Macayla.' and she went
'Well I can hear it, I don't want to hear about your girlfriend.'
I was like 'THEN DON'T FUCKING LISTEN?!'
And then the teacher SCREAMED 'stop' 6 times. I'm so sick of her, it's that ONE girl that ALWAYS calls me out whenever I talk, Yeah I talk loud, try not to fucking listen, bitch.
And I tried, for 4 hours to get Laura back. Telling her how much I loved her.
Then her best friend called me pathetic.
I not only lost my girlfriend, I lost my best friend. She was both to me. I'm in love with her and she doesn't give a fuck.
I've been told I'm really pale today. Maybe from blood loss or the crying lastnight and this morning.
I don't even feel like being in this fucking school, Everyones starign at my wrists.
I put like, 10 elastics on them, but they were literally killing me and leaving indents on ym scars, making ti worse, so I took like, 6 of them off, and Macayla noticedm, and told me
'Theres other things you could do. Puncha wall, hit something! Were all here for you'
I'm addicted to pain, I promise you.
I've been beaten since I was 8, so I've become naturaslly adapted to it.
I'm not happy unless I'm in some type of physical pain.
It sucks, and I hate it.
And they told me I need help.
I refuse help.
I just want my girlfriend back.
It's like she's just..forgotten everything.
All I wanted was her.
all i WANT is her.

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