"Wait -- you know I'm in love with you, right?" "No. No, I didn't know that." "Oh... well, I am."

[stephenh2oman]

Right, I remember how this goes. It's the same disinterest I had then, but a pursuit is fun in itself. The arbitrary goals set merely to see if they can be reached. The forced interest. It's not that they're written off before they're given their chance, it's that their chance for success is so low to begin with. I'm still open to all possibilities

Comments

[ttothearyn]

Whoa, I definitely missed an interesting night apparently.

I think you can on some distant level watch yourself doing something and even at the time think to yourself, "why am I doing this?".

And, maybe it's foolish to want to make mistakes, but sometimes you have to, and I know where you're coming from. Being careful gets old sooner or later.

And as for making mistakes... sometimes you just get bored/frusterated/disappointed/looking for something to amuse you... Which brings on a "whatever" kind of attitude. That's my take anyway.

Voila.

[stephenh2oman]

Last night was sort of interesting and you missed that. Or, well, my last night, anyway, as I'm sure you had your own. But mine resulted in drinking lots of girly drinks and eventually dancing up a storm once enough people left that I felt okay about attempting some hardcore moves. Thankfully, there are no pictures of this.

Life is just so boring sometimes. If I didn't remember certain moments, I think I'd have killed myself by now. Would that be a silly motive for suicide? Boredom? Or maybe it's those moments that make the rest seem so boring by comparison.

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.

And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.

[ttothearyn]

American Beauty, good quote.

Yes, boredom is a silly motive for suicide. So you're not allowed to resort to that, I decided. But I hate boredom too... ugh. Let's go blow something up!

[stephenh2oman]

Yes, yes, I've often followed a similar line of thought. Because there is the possibility that there is no tangible afterlife, having a reaction to killing oneself is not a certainty. Therefore, it may be better to attempt killing other people in hopes that the excitement level is close to the same.

Worst case scenario, you get to find out about the former too, anyway.

The quote isn't nearly as relevant as I want it to be, but whatever. I'm awesome.

[karalylo]

Ummm, at first I thought this entry meant you didn't want to buy a house, but you were going to just because you wanted to see if you could, then I remembered you're out of your mind.

If you want some destuction I think you should take a sledgehammer to the pathetic excuse for a porch in our new back yard, and then build a new porch with built in beer holders.