With You.
with you.
f(x); 2066 words. [Sulli/Krystal]
But no matter how hard she push, there's always one who wouldn't budge.
It was just a little accident.
A stage accident where the fireworks somehow malfunctioned and hit her.
Everything stopped at that time. Her hands were automatically on her face where it stings and burns the most. She couldn't see anything as her eyes hurts too much to be opened. All she could sense is liquid. Something warm and wet on her face, slowly trickling down the side of her face.
Then she hears voices. Many voices. Talking, shouting, whispers. All at the same time.
"CALL THE AMBULANCE! NOW!"
"OH MY GOD, WHAT-"
"NO! THERE'S NO TIME TO CALL THE AMBULANCE! GET THE VAN HERE NOW! RIGHT NOW!"
"OPPA! OPPA!"
"WHERE'S THE VAN?! DAMMIT!"
"CALL THE MANAGEMENT!"
Voices. Everywhere. She hears voice but she can't let out her own. Then she feels hands on her body, holding her. Then a soft, fluffy something pressed on her face. A towel? Probably. She felt herself be lifted up.
"You're gonna be okay. We're going to the hospital now."
The deep and panicking voice whispered to her as she was taken inside a van. That voice, she knows it. It's the same voice she hears everyday. The voice of their manager.
"OPPA! OPPA, WE'RE COMING!"
Those mixed voices. Voices of her second family. Her members.
"Get the other girls inside another car and drive them away from the media. Don't give out any information about what's happening. I'll call later."
The door slammed shot and she heard nothing no more. The only thing her body could identify is the intense heat on her face and the increase of liquid that the towel can't soak anymore.
She felt movement again and she knows that her manager who was carrying her was running.
"NURSE! NURSE! WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY HERE!"
"Sir, please put her down and well take it from here! Can you tell us the name of the patient, sir?"
She felt something soft beneath her as the feeling of the strong arms left her body. She tried to move her hand to hold on to her manager but her consciousness was slowly slipping away as seconds pass by. Everything slowly faded away and the last thing she heard was her manager's worried and shaky voice.
"Soojung. Jung Soojung."
~*~
Her phone was ringing.
She could hear it.
She reached forward and grabbed it. She looked at the screen blankly. Just like how she always does since last week.
"It's Victoria unnie." A soft and calm voice. "She's the one who's calling."
Krystal wanted to thank her sister. She's been spending the week at home with her. She wants to thank Jessica but she doesn't. She clicks the cancel button and placed the now silent device down.
"You should go, unnie." Krystal whispers. "You've been putting your schedules aside for a week now. You should go."
A sigh. "Soojung, You-"
"It's okay." She cuts Jessica off. "It's already been a week. I can manage on my own."
Jessica doesn't argue and Krystal is slightly thankful for that. She felt arms wrap around her and lips press against her forehead.
"I'm sorry unnie can't do anything, Soojung. I'm sorry." Jessica spoke and Krystal could hear her voice crack. "You'd be better. I know. And I'll drop by when I can. Even for just a while."
Krystal nods lightly. "It's okay, unnie. It wasn't your fault."
A warm kiss was planted on her forehead. "Still. I love you, Soojung. Okay? Unnie is going now."
Krystal nodded, whispered a low 'I love you too' and waited for the door to be shut before sighing. She looks out the window, feels the fresh and cool air but only sees splotch of colors. Green, blue, gray, yellow, white. Just splotches of colors.
It's been a week since the accident and a week of seeing nothing but blurred splotches of everything.
Her eyes received the majority of the hit the fireworks caused. There were few burns on her face but those were only minor ones which were easily treated by some cream and face was saved from scars. But her eyes weren't. The doctors old Krystal that it was a miracle that she wasn't blinded by the fireworks. But that didn't make Krystal feel any better. She could still see but she can't recognize anything. Everything was blurred and all she could identify are splotches of colors.
Their whole group was put in an indefinite hiatus. She felt bad and said sorry but they all said it's fine. But it wasn't. For Krystal, it wasn't fine. Since she got home from the hospital, she hasn't let anyone visit her. She doesn't answer calls and she doesn't go out. She's pushing everyone away.
But no matter how hard she push, there's always one who wouldn't budge.
"Soojung, Jinri is here."
Krystal suppressed a sigh. Victoria and the others has stopped coming to visit her when they were pushed away for the 3rd time but for some reason, Sulli is still visiting her.
Sulli. The last person she wants to see.
Everyday, she tells her mom to not let Sulli in. But Sulli welcomes herself in. The Jung household was pretty much Sulli's own anyway, having grew up together.
The door opens before Krystal could turn her away.
"Soojung, hey."
Krystal doesn't answer.
"How are you feeling?" She hears Sulli ask as the older girl approaches her and sits in front of her.
"Same." She answered without even looking at Sulli. It's not like she'll see anything other than splotches anyway.
"You know, everyone is asking about you. Vic umma, Amber oppa, Luna unnie. They all want to see you. Don't you want to see them too?"
Krystal stood up from her seat and slowly and carefully made her way to the bed. When she felt the hard wood and the soft mattress, she climbed on it and got under the covers. Again, without giving Sulli an answer.
Krystal hears some shuffling sounds and felt the bed shift. Sulli was probably sitting by the foot of her bed.
"The weather's good today. It's warm and nice. The trees and flowers are blooming beautifully too."
Krystal's hold on her blanket tightened. Why was Sulli telling her those things?
"I went out on a walk with Luna unnie this morning. I also biked around with Vic umma and Amber oppa."
"..."
"They miss you, you know." Sulli's voice was now quiet. "I miss you too."
"..."
Krystal shuts her eyes tightly. The bed shifts again and Sulli was standing by her side in an instant. "I brought some flowers. Pretty ones I picked myself."
"Well, I better go now."
The footsteps echoed inside the small room and the sound of the door being opened was heard. "I'll be back tomorrow, Jjung. And the day after that. And the day after. See you."
With that, the door clock shut and Krystal's hold on the blanket loosened. She opened her eyes. Blinks a few times before staring at the ceiling. She turns her head to the side and sees splotches of pink and yellow. The flowers Sulli brought. She stared at them for a minute more before looking away. hiding herself under her covers.
"Why does she even bother?"
~*~
Just like what the older girl promised, Sulli came again the next day. And the next, and the next after that.
Krystal never said a word to Sulli all those days of visiting. Nor did she look at Sulli for fear of sensing the same look she's been getting from everyone on Sulli's face.
Pity.
She turns away, looks away and pushes her away.
Today is the 5th straight visit of Sulli since she brought the flowers and everyday Sulli brings new ones. Varying in color. And she tells Krystal about what's happening outside and how the outside world looks. Even without receiving any kind of warm greeting or acknowledgment form the younger girl, Sulli doesn't stop.
But today, Krystal wants Sulli to stop already. Just freakin' stop. Because she doesn't want to hear what Sulli has to say. She doesn't want Sulli to visit. She doesn't want to see Sulli. She doesn't want Sulli to see her.
"Stop, Sulli." Krystal muttered, cutting of Sulli who was in the middle of talking about the pretty flowers outside.
"Jjung-"
"JUST STOP ALREADY!" Krystal snapped, standing up, kicking the chair away and throwing up her arms in frustration. "STOP ALREADY, SULLI! WHY DO YOU KEEP ON VISITING?! ARE YOU THAT STUBBORN? I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!"
The tears she was holding back fell. Thankfully, Krystal was facing away from Sulli.
"Soojung..."
Krystal choked on a sob as she fell on her knees. "Why, Sulli? I'm pushing everyone away. I don't want people to see me like this. I don't want you to see me like this." Krystal hugged herself as she opened her eyes, reminding herself that all she can see now are splotches and spots of colors and nothing more.
"I don't want you to see me like this... The last thing I need from everyone is pity. I'm practically blind already! I've just lost my everything! I can't perform, I can't be an idol..." Krystal trailed off in between sniffles.
Soft footsteps echoed and Krystal felt warm arms wrap around her body. "Don't say that... You can still see, Jjung."
"I can't! I can't recognize anything! I can't even recognize Jessica's face! All I see are blurs..."
Sulli moved in front of the crying girl to hug her tightly and smiled lightly when Krystal's arms wrapped themselves around her.
"I'm scared..." Krystal confessed, burying her face on the crook of Sulli's neck. "I can't do anything anymore... I can't see anyone... I can't recognize anyone, I'm only a burden now. I'm a burden to my family, to the members, to you..."
"Don't say that." Sulli whispered as she ran her fingers through Krystal's hair, calming the crying girl. "You're not a burden, okay? Not to your family, not to Jessica unnie, not to our members and definitely, definitely, not to me." Sulli pressed her lips on Krystal's forehead, "Never to me."
Krystal calmed down at the soft touch and gentle words. She opened her eyes and once again, only splotches came into view. "Even if I'm not, I can't chase after my dreams anymore. I can't be normal anymore, Sulli." She whispered with pain lacing her voice. "I can't recognize anything, Sulli. The outside world, my things, my books, faces. I can't... Not Jessica or anyone in my family. How can I continue living like this?"
"You don't have to recognize the faces of people to know them, Soojung." Sulli answered. "Look at their hearts and not at their face and you'll see. You'll see through the blurs, splotches and the spots."
With the hope Sulli's words has given, Krystal took a deep breath before lifting up her head. She slowly raised her eyes to look at Sulli's face properly for the first time. She saw splotches and spots and she willed herself to not cry and give up and closed her eyes again.
She felt a warm hand on her cheek. "It's okay, Soojung. Take your time."
The words made her feel warm and happy and loved. The gentleness of Sulli's voice made her heart hammer in her chest and she slowly opens her eyes again. This time, through the blur, she saw Sulli. Her sweet smile and gentle eyes and Krystal felt warm all over.
"Sulli..." She whispered, tracing the familiar shape of Sulli's face. It felt nice and all too familiar. Krystal whispered Sulli's name once more as she saw Sulli's heart.
"Even as time passes and you forget everything," Sulli whispered as she brought their foreheads together and gazed at Krystal's deep eyes.
"Even if you can't see the world anymore," Krystal felt a soft touch on her lips as Sulli spoke against them. "I will become your strength with the words that flow inside me."
Tears came into her eyes again at Sulli's sincere words and Krystal's heart soared. "Ssul..."
The smile on Sulli's face was brighter than ever. Krystal saw that much and for the first time since she was unable to see anything clearly, she felt thankful for the accident.
She was thankful for being able to learn from Sulli how to look at hearts and not faces.
With you, right here, we can start again.
f(x); 2066 words. [Sulli/Krystal]
But no matter how hard she push, there's always one who wouldn't budge.
It was just a little accident.
A stage accident where the fireworks somehow malfunctioned and hit her.
Everything stopped at that time. Her hands were automatically on her face where it stings and burns the most. She couldn't see anything as her eyes hurts too much to be opened. All she could sense is liquid. Something warm and wet on her face, slowly trickling down the side of her face.
Then she hears voices. Many voices. Talking, shouting, whispers. All at the same time.
"CALL THE AMBULANCE! NOW!"
"OH MY GOD, WHAT-"
"NO! THERE'S NO TIME TO CALL THE AMBULANCE! GET THE VAN HERE NOW! RIGHT NOW!"
"OPPA! OPPA!"
"WHERE'S THE VAN?! DAMMIT!"
"CALL THE MANAGEMENT!"
Voices. Everywhere. She hears voice but she can't let out her own. Then she feels hands on her body, holding her. Then a soft, fluffy something pressed on her face. A towel? Probably. She felt herself be lifted up.
"You're gonna be okay. We're going to the hospital now."
The deep and panicking voice whispered to her as she was taken inside a van. That voice, she knows it. It's the same voice she hears everyday. The voice of their manager.
"OPPA! OPPA, WE'RE COMING!"
Those mixed voices. Voices of her second family. Her members.
"Get the other girls inside another car and drive them away from the media. Don't give out any information about what's happening. I'll call later."
The door slammed shot and she heard nothing no more. The only thing her body could identify is the intense heat on her face and the increase of liquid that the towel can't soak anymore.
She felt movement again and she knows that her manager who was carrying her was running.
"NURSE! NURSE! WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY HERE!"
"Sir, please put her down and well take it from here! Can you tell us the name of the patient, sir?"
She felt something soft beneath her as the feeling of the strong arms left her body. She tried to move her hand to hold on to her manager but her consciousness was slowly slipping away as seconds pass by. Everything slowly faded away and the last thing she heard was her manager's worried and shaky voice.
"Soojung. Jung Soojung."
~*~
Her phone was ringing.
She could hear it.
She reached forward and grabbed it. She looked at the screen blankly. Just like how she always does since last week.
"It's Victoria unnie." A soft and calm voice. "She's the one who's calling."
Krystal wanted to thank her sister. She's been spending the week at home with her. She wants to thank Jessica but she doesn't. She clicks the cancel button and placed the now silent device down.
"You should go, unnie." Krystal whispers. "You've been putting your schedules aside for a week now. You should go."
A sigh. "Soojung, You-"
"It's okay." She cuts Jessica off. "It's already been a week. I can manage on my own."
Jessica doesn't argue and Krystal is slightly thankful for that. She felt arms wrap around her and lips press against her forehead.
"I'm sorry unnie can't do anything, Soojung. I'm sorry." Jessica spoke and Krystal could hear her voice crack. "You'd be better. I know. And I'll drop by when I can. Even for just a while."
Krystal nods lightly. "It's okay, unnie. It wasn't your fault."
A warm kiss was planted on her forehead. "Still. I love you, Soojung. Okay? Unnie is going now."
Krystal nodded, whispered a low 'I love you too' and waited for the door to be shut before sighing. She looks out the window, feels the fresh and cool air but only sees splotch of colors. Green, blue, gray, yellow, white. Just splotches of colors.
It's been a week since the accident and a week of seeing nothing but blurred splotches of everything.
Her eyes received the majority of the hit the fireworks caused. There were few burns on her face but those were only minor ones which were easily treated by some cream and face was saved from scars. But her eyes weren't. The doctors old Krystal that it was a miracle that she wasn't blinded by the fireworks. But that didn't make Krystal feel any better. She could still see but she can't recognize anything. Everything was blurred and all she could identify are splotches of colors.
Their whole group was put in an indefinite hiatus. She felt bad and said sorry but they all said it's fine. But it wasn't. For Krystal, it wasn't fine. Since she got home from the hospital, she hasn't let anyone visit her. She doesn't answer calls and she doesn't go out. She's pushing everyone away.
But no matter how hard she push, there's always one who wouldn't budge.
"Soojung, Jinri is here."
Krystal suppressed a sigh. Victoria and the others has stopped coming to visit her when they were pushed away for the 3rd time but for some reason, Sulli is still visiting her.
Sulli. The last person she wants to see.
Everyday, she tells her mom to not let Sulli in. But Sulli welcomes herself in. The Jung household was pretty much Sulli's own anyway, having grew up together.
The door opens before Krystal could turn her away.
"Soojung, hey."
Krystal doesn't answer.
"How are you feeling?" She hears Sulli ask as the older girl approaches her and sits in front of her.
"Same." She answered without even looking at Sulli. It's not like she'll see anything other than splotches anyway.
"You know, everyone is asking about you. Vic umma, Amber oppa, Luna unnie. They all want to see you. Don't you want to see them too?"
Krystal stood up from her seat and slowly and carefully made her way to the bed. When she felt the hard wood and the soft mattress, she climbed on it and got under the covers. Again, without giving Sulli an answer.
Krystal hears some shuffling sounds and felt the bed shift. Sulli was probably sitting by the foot of her bed.
"The weather's good today. It's warm and nice. The trees and flowers are blooming beautifully too."
Krystal's hold on her blanket tightened. Why was Sulli telling her those things?
"I went out on a walk with Luna unnie this morning. I also biked around with Vic umma and Amber oppa."
"..."
"They miss you, you know." Sulli's voice was now quiet. "I miss you too."
"..."
Krystal shuts her eyes tightly. The bed shifts again and Sulli was standing by her side in an instant. "I brought some flowers. Pretty ones I picked myself."
"Well, I better go now."
The footsteps echoed inside the small room and the sound of the door being opened was heard. "I'll be back tomorrow, Jjung. And the day after that. And the day after. See you."
With that, the door clock shut and Krystal's hold on the blanket loosened. She opened her eyes. Blinks a few times before staring at the ceiling. She turns her head to the side and sees splotches of pink and yellow. The flowers Sulli brought. She stared at them for a minute more before looking away. hiding herself under her covers.
"Why does she even bother?"
~*~
Just like what the older girl promised, Sulli came again the next day. And the next, and the next after that.
Krystal never said a word to Sulli all those days of visiting. Nor did she look at Sulli for fear of sensing the same look she's been getting from everyone on Sulli's face.
Pity.
She turns away, looks away and pushes her away.
Today is the 5th straight visit of Sulli since she brought the flowers and everyday Sulli brings new ones. Varying in color. And she tells Krystal about what's happening outside and how the outside world looks. Even without receiving any kind of warm greeting or acknowledgment form the younger girl, Sulli doesn't stop.
But today, Krystal wants Sulli to stop already. Just freakin' stop. Because she doesn't want to hear what Sulli has to say. She doesn't want Sulli to visit. She doesn't want to see Sulli. She doesn't want Sulli to see her.
"Stop, Sulli." Krystal muttered, cutting of Sulli who was in the middle of talking about the pretty flowers outside.
"Jjung-"
"JUST STOP ALREADY!" Krystal snapped, standing up, kicking the chair away and throwing up her arms in frustration. "STOP ALREADY, SULLI! WHY DO YOU KEEP ON VISITING?! ARE YOU THAT STUBBORN? I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!"
The tears she was holding back fell. Thankfully, Krystal was facing away from Sulli.
"Soojung..."
Krystal choked on a sob as she fell on her knees. "Why, Sulli? I'm pushing everyone away. I don't want people to see me like this. I don't want you to see me like this." Krystal hugged herself as she opened her eyes, reminding herself that all she can see now are splotches and spots of colors and nothing more.
"I don't want you to see me like this... The last thing I need from everyone is pity. I'm practically blind already! I've just lost my everything! I can't perform, I can't be an idol..." Krystal trailed off in between sniffles.
Soft footsteps echoed and Krystal felt warm arms wrap around her body. "Don't say that... You can still see, Jjung."
"I can't! I can't recognize anything! I can't even recognize Jessica's face! All I see are blurs..."
Sulli moved in front of the crying girl to hug her tightly and smiled lightly when Krystal's arms wrapped themselves around her.
"I'm scared..." Krystal confessed, burying her face on the crook of Sulli's neck. "I can't do anything anymore... I can't see anyone... I can't recognize anyone, I'm only a burden now. I'm a burden to my family, to the members, to you..."
"Don't say that." Sulli whispered as she ran her fingers through Krystal's hair, calming the crying girl. "You're not a burden, okay? Not to your family, not to Jessica unnie, not to our members and definitely, definitely, not to me." Sulli pressed her lips on Krystal's forehead, "Never to me."
Krystal calmed down at the soft touch and gentle words. She opened her eyes and once again, only splotches came into view. "Even if I'm not, I can't chase after my dreams anymore. I can't be normal anymore, Sulli." She whispered with pain lacing her voice. "I can't recognize anything, Sulli. The outside world, my things, my books, faces. I can't... Not Jessica or anyone in my family. How can I continue living like this?"
"You don't have to recognize the faces of people to know them, Soojung." Sulli answered. "Look at their hearts and not at their face and you'll see. You'll see through the blurs, splotches and the spots."
With the hope Sulli's words has given, Krystal took a deep breath before lifting up her head. She slowly raised her eyes to look at Sulli's face properly for the first time. She saw splotches and spots and she willed herself to not cry and give up and closed her eyes again.
She felt a warm hand on her cheek. "It's okay, Soojung. Take your time."
The words made her feel warm and happy and loved. The gentleness of Sulli's voice made her heart hammer in her chest and she slowly opens her eyes again. This time, through the blur, she saw Sulli. Her sweet smile and gentle eyes and Krystal felt warm all over.
"Sulli..." She whispered, tracing the familiar shape of Sulli's face. It felt nice and all too familiar. Krystal whispered Sulli's name once more as she saw Sulli's heart.
"Even as time passes and you forget everything," Sulli whispered as she brought their foreheads together and gazed at Krystal's deep eyes.
"Even if you can't see the world anymore," Krystal felt a soft touch on her lips as Sulli spoke against them. "I will become your strength with the words that flow inside me."
Tears came into her eyes again at Sulli's sincere words and Krystal's heart soared. "Ssul..."
The smile on Sulli's face was brighter than ever. Krystal saw that much and for the first time since she was unable to see anything clearly, she felt thankful for the accident.
She was thankful for being able to learn from Sulli how to look at hearts and not faces.
With you, right here, we can start again.