I'm trying to stay as far away from this as possible because you're both friends of mine, but look at it this way: if people are willing to believe the negative rumors of one person enough to change their opinions of you, are those really the people that you want to be with/give a shit about their opinions?
it's something that happensanama2001March 16 2005, 23:44:45 UTC
we women are like this -- we keep our pain internalized and try to show everyone else that everything is fine. I did this and believed at the time that it was the right thing to do - so as to not burden others with my problems. Teenage boys are also similar -- they have this tendency to hold out their arms for others and people respond to that. Believe me, this period will pass. We don't all side with him (not that we all side with you either. Siding with either party during a break-up is always a bad idea) -- and those of us who have been in your position understand that this hurts both of you equally, no less so you simply because you do not seem to sigh with every step (not that he does -- I'm just being metaphoric here
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Re: it's something that happensstereonightsMarch 17 2005, 03:58:43 UTC
Then maybe my well-being is more important than obeying that pride. Of course there are a lot of people waiting for me to open to them, and that's part of what makes me grateful every day for a lot of things.
Your steady sturdy wisdom is always a comfort, Annie. Thank you.
i agree--and also...rynnmaxwellMarch 17 2005, 05:02:55 UTC
A lot of times you actually unburden your friends by "burdening" them with your problems. Good friends, by nature, want to listen and help, and when you rob them of that opportunity by trying to ease their lives through your own internalized pain, they are often hurt by and tend to worry even more. Which is not to say that you should speak your secrets simply to make friends feel validated; but too often we expect our friends to be grudging towards our problems when really they are grateful for a chance to help.
(You probably know this, but I wanted to say it anyway, because I like you and your welfare is important. I hope I'm not barging in/making a non-sequiteur; and I hope this situation [as I know very little of it] works out for the best.)
What makes you think I'm making it a big deal? What it really is is that I like to write, and this strikes me, saying, "write."
And that you and other people would censure that because it's "not a big deal" are both ignorant of how cordially and easily I deal with it and mean to try to quiet the voice which, as I use it, makes me happy.
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Your steady sturdy wisdom is always a comfort, Annie. Thank you.
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(You probably know this, but I wanted to say it anyway, because I like you and your welfare is important. I hope I'm not barging in/making a non-sequiteur; and I hope this situation [as I know very little of it] works out for the best.)
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And that you and other people would censure that because it's "not a big deal" are both ignorant of how cordially and easily I deal with it and mean to try to quiet the voice which, as I use it, makes me happy.
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