Choices
Title: Choices
Fandom: Weiß Kreuz
Genre: Reflective, romance
Rating: PG
Characters: Kurumi, Mihirogi
Pairing: Mihirogi/Kurumi
Summary: [Side B] The choices we make today will always affect tomorrow. Kurumi wonders about that and whether or not she holds any regret about her choices.
Choices
Disclaimer: I don't own Weiß Side B. The whole story is from Kurumi's point-of-view, and may include some mild spoilers for the latest chapters, but nothing too specific. Enjoy!
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I often wonder about the choices I make.
Should I really be here?
Should I have gotten away when I had the chance?
Do I regret my choices?
I really don't know what to think. Lately I've been such a burden. I'm only known as "Human Interleukin-3" to most others. If not for my blood, many people would still be sane and alive and Krypton Brand wouldn't have had to get involved.
So, do I regret my choices?
Living or dying. I still don't know which would have been more painful. If I was dead, I wouldn't be here right now and I would be with my parents. But I don't want to see them again, not ever. I can't seem to forgive them. The idea of sending eternity with them fills my heart with resentment. I can't stand that horrible feeling; I shouldn't feel that way toward the two who raised me. Still, if I weren't alive, others wouldn't be dying needlessly over my blood. Living brings so much guilt.
But I'm afraid to die. My fear of death makes me want to live. It could be the only thing that keeps me alive.
Maybe living was the more painful choice, although I'm still not too sure of that. It's true that every day has brought a new burden since I chose to live, but dying would have been the coward's way out. I don't want to be weak. If I had chosen to die, I wouldn't have the chance to put things right.
But what can I do? Mihirogi told me the Human Interleukin-3 in my blood could have curative properties if used right, but I can't bring myself to believe that. I want to, but so many have gone insane or died because of me.
Ken, Michel, Free, Aya, Yuki, Chloé, and Mihirogi. They're all so strong. I'm nothing compared to them. I want to help them. I don't want to be a burden to them anymore. If I could find a way, I would use my Human Interleukin-3 to benefit them.
I try to keep hope, I really do, but I always fail miserably. Maybe someday I'll be strong enough to accept myself, but until that day comes, I'll keep on wondering whether or not I made the right choice.
I still don't know if I regret living. But no matter how much pain my choices bring me, I'll become stronger. Right now I'm weak, but until I can stand on my own two feet, stay by me. Even when I'm strong, I still want you to be there, holding my hand. Maybe I'm just too scared to carry burdens all by myself. I've been alone for far too long.
Your arms around me are comforting and your shoulder is strong enough for me to rest my head on. One day, I'll be as strong as you, and I will no longer feel like I'm holding you down. I won't be a burden to you or anyone else.
Mihirogi, I love you. Because of you, I feel I can finally be strong.
And we share a kiss. Mihirogi, you give me the strength to face my burdens.
Fandom: Weiß Kreuz
Genre: Reflective, romance
Rating: PG
Characters: Kurumi, Mihirogi
Pairing: Mihirogi/Kurumi
Summary: [Side B] The choices we make today will always affect tomorrow. Kurumi wonders about that and whether or not she holds any regret about her choices.
Choices
Disclaimer: I don't own Weiß Side B. The whole story is from Kurumi's point-of-view, and may include some mild spoilers for the latest chapters, but nothing too specific. Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I often wonder about the choices I make.
Should I really be here?
Should I have gotten away when I had the chance?
Do I regret my choices?
I really don't know what to think. Lately I've been such a burden. I'm only known as "Human Interleukin-3" to most others. If not for my blood, many people would still be sane and alive and Krypton Brand wouldn't have had to get involved.
So, do I regret my choices?
Living or dying. I still don't know which would have been more painful. If I was dead, I wouldn't be here right now and I would be with my parents. But I don't want to see them again, not ever. I can't seem to forgive them. The idea of sending eternity with them fills my heart with resentment. I can't stand that horrible feeling; I shouldn't feel that way toward the two who raised me. Still, if I weren't alive, others wouldn't be dying needlessly over my blood. Living brings so much guilt.
But I'm afraid to die. My fear of death makes me want to live. It could be the only thing that keeps me alive.
Maybe living was the more painful choice, although I'm still not too sure of that. It's true that every day has brought a new burden since I chose to live, but dying would have been the coward's way out. I don't want to be weak. If I had chosen to die, I wouldn't have the chance to put things right.
But what can I do? Mihirogi told me the Human Interleukin-3 in my blood could have curative properties if used right, but I can't bring myself to believe that. I want to, but so many have gone insane or died because of me.
Ken, Michel, Free, Aya, Yuki, Chloé, and Mihirogi. They're all so strong. I'm nothing compared to them. I want to help them. I don't want to be a burden to them anymore. If I could find a way, I would use my Human Interleukin-3 to benefit them.
I try to keep hope, I really do, but I always fail miserably. Maybe someday I'll be strong enough to accept myself, but until that day comes, I'll keep on wondering whether or not I made the right choice.
I still don't know if I regret living. But no matter how much pain my choices bring me, I'll become stronger. Right now I'm weak, but until I can stand on my own two feet, stay by me. Even when I'm strong, I still want you to be there, holding my hand. Maybe I'm just too scared to carry burdens all by myself. I've been alone for far too long.
Your arms around me are comforting and your shoulder is strong enough for me to rest my head on. One day, I'll be as strong as you, and I will no longer feel like I'm holding you down. I won't be a burden to you or anyone else.
Mihirogi, I love you. Because of you, I feel I can finally be strong.
And we share a kiss. Mihirogi, you give me the strength to face my burdens.