If Not For Fear XVI
Here we go with another chapter. No high melodrama, that comes soon enough. Hope you enjoy.
Title: If Not For Fear XVI
Pairing: E/J
Rating: G
Synopsis: Life after E&J's big fight.
Disclaimer: All credit to Annie Proulx
“Ennis!” Jack shouted.
“Jack, I’m busy…” Ennis shouted back from the shower.
“Ennis, there ain’t a damn thing to do around here and I’m bored.”
“Damnit, Jack, go play with Buck.”
“Already done that,” Jack pouted. He had been wandering around the house, room to room, Buck on his heels, looking for something interesting to do after a week of working the ranch. Finding nothing he decided to make his own entertainment.
Tiptoeing through the living room to the bathroom like some cartoon character trying to sneak up on someone…nearly choking trying not to laugh…he made his way over to the toilet and without hesitation flushed it and ran.
The reaction was almost instantaneous.
“GODDAMN, SONOFABITCH……JACK!!!” Apparently Ennis didn’t find the humor in this stunt that Jack did. “You better run, Twist, cause your ass is mine when I get outta here…”
Jack barely heard any of this. He was bent over double standing near the back of the couch outside of the bathroom door laughing so hard he could barely breathe. Buck stood near him, head cocked to the side, tongue out, wondering about this curious human behavior.
Jack stole a quick glance towards the bathroom but had no time to react to the wet, naked, and furious human missile that was headed his way. Ennis caught Jack with a flying tackle, which took them both over the back of the couch. They bounced off the cushions and landed in a heap on the floor, Jack dazed by the suddenness of Ennis’ action. Ennis had each of Jack’s wrists pinned. Buck was barking loudly feeling left out of all the activity, trying to wiggle his way in between the pair.
“So, cause you’re bored, I gotta catch shit over it?” Ennis said through clenched teeth, holding Buck off with his hip.
All Jack could do was stare…then the laughing started again in earnest. The idea of Ennis running at him like that, naked and wet, was more than he could stand. Tears came to his eyes at the memory, brief though it was, and he had to acknowledge he wasn’t bored anymore.
Through fits of laughter, “Well…cowboy…I guess…my ass is yours now.” Jack’s response to Ennis’ earlier threat now took on a deeper meaning. Jack began to calm. He was staring straight into Ennis’ eyes which held his like a snake with a bird.
“Yeah, rodeo….I guess it is.”
Ennis only had a token grasp of Jack’s wrists so he simply twisted them to release himself from Ennis’ hands. Slowly Jack brought his hands to Ennis’ face pulling it closer.
In a quiet, slightly shaking voice, Jack said, “Always yours, Ennis, only yours.” Ennis kissed Jack fiercely acknowledging the statement…laying claim to what, Ennis realized, Jack had now and always freely offered.
No more boredom thanks to Jack. Both had plenty to occupy their time.
************
September, 1967…four months since Jack fled to Lightning Flat and his and Ennis’ reconciliation…a year-and-a-half since Jack had showed up on Ennis’ doorstep, wet and cold…just over four years since they had left the mountain.
Ennis understood now that Jack stayed of his own free will, choosing him over all others, and found it easier to see Jack around other men…as a matter of fact, Ennis more and more often joined in to share in some of the laughter and talk.
Jack had come to understand that Ennis’ greatest fear had to do with losing him, so he’d reassure Ennis now and then that he wasn’t going anywhere…that Ennis was his one and only.
There lives had been going on pretty smoothly…both continued at the ranch but at a higher capacity. The foreman and boss had quickly seen how valuable Jack and Ennis could be so had given them more responsibility…which meant some more money also. They were each happy with the vote of confidence and wanted to show that they could be trusted and relied upon so worked hard each day they were there.
As for trouble, there was the occasional sidelong glance or muffled comment as they passed, but for the most part, they were left alone. Of course, they didn’t rub their relationship in anyone’s face and only rarely came into town. Ennis had become more outgoing but never let loose of his caution and always kept a close eye on Jack wherever they happened to be.
Every other weekend, they headed over to Lightning Flat to help Mrs. Twist. They had done some much-needed repairs on the house…things Mrs. Twist had been unable to do herself. She was a ranch wife and just over 40 years old, so was strong and capable, but there was a lot she was not able to do alone.
They had made repairs on the roof, cleared out some of the brush surrounding the house so it would appear more presentable and repainted the inside and outside among other things. The patio on the front of the house got roofed so now Mrs. Twist could sit out in the shade any time of day in a rocker they had found or rest there in the evening when it got cool.
When the boys weren’t there, Mrs. Twist would sometimes wander around the house running her hands over repairs the boys had made and an occasional tear would spring forth at the thought of her son returning…and bringing such a nice young man with him. She had someone to take care of again, a purpose, and often gave thanks to God for such a blessing.
One particular weekend, as Ennis and Jack were leaving to go back to Riverton, Jack had gone to the truck and Mrs. Twist had asked Ennis to stay for a moment.
“Ennis, I got something to ask you.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Ennis said with his hat in his hand. He liked Mrs. Twist and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her.
“Ennis, I would like it if you would call me Ma from now on.” Ennis’ head snapped up not in any way expecting this to be the reason Mrs. Twist had asked him to stay behind.
“Uh, Mrs. Twist…ma’am…uh, I don’t know…I mean, you’re Jack’s mom, so…” Mrs. Twist laid a hand on Ennis forearm.
“Ennis, you love my son and have done right by him. I am truly grateful for that. You have come to my house and treated me with respect and kindness. I know that your own mother is gone so…I’d like to think of you as my second son…if you’d be so kind as to accept that from me.” Mrs. Twist’s eyes grew misty. “Now that Jack’s father is gone, I would have two boys to fuss over, twice the joy and pride.”
Ennis was stunned…frozen where he stood. Other than Jack, no one had ever shown this much interest in him. What Mrs. Twist wanted of him was very difficult for him to grasp. But he knew that he did like her. She had always been kind to him…always offering a good word, always supportive. And she really did make the best cherry cake he had ever eaten. He missed his own mom and had no one in his life to fill that role…so he made his decision.
Standing straight, trying to keep his voice together, he said, “I can’t tell you what I feel right now, ma’am. I ain’t had a mom for near ten years and, well, you been just like a mom to me since I met you. You treated me like a man and…,” here Ennis had to turn aside so he could maintain his composure, “well, you been real good to me.” He brushed the one tear from his face that had escaped. “I’d be more than honored, ma’am, if you’d see fit to think of me as your son.”
Mrs. Twist smiled real wide and taking Ennis’ face in her two hands, leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.
“You do me the honor, Ennis. Now I have two sons. God has blessed me twice.” She stepped back and looked at him for a moment. Then she turned and picked up some paper bags of food for them to take and walked out with him to the porch.
“You’ll take care of Jack, now, okay? He don’t always look where he’s going, ya know.”
Ennis chuckled, “Yes, ma’am, that’s a fact.” He stopped for a moment then said, “I ain’t never gonna let anything happen to him. I promise.” Mrs. Twist smiled and patted him on the shoulder. About then Jack stepped up onto the porch.
“You boys be careful driving back, ya hear?”
Ennis turned to Mrs. Twist, “I will…ma. We’ll see you in two weeks. Call us if you need anything.” Ennis stood for just a moment then reached out to give her a big hug which Mrs. Twist returned just as heartily.
Jack watching this was mystified, his jaw dropped to the patio floor. Did he just call her “ma”? And he hugged her. Ennis never hugs anyone…well, except me. What in the world is going on here?
Ennis took a few steps towards Jack, who now saw that Ennis had either been crying or was just about to let loose.
“Ennis?” Jack whispered Ennis looked up once at Jack then turned to nod goodbye to Mrs. Twist who, Jack saw, was having a difficult time not crying herself. Ennis strode off the patio and on towards the truck.
“Ma, what’s going on? Are you alright?” Jack was now seriously concerned but his mother just patted him on the arm and said, “Everything is just fine, son. You take good care of Ennis, ya hear? He’s a good man and needs you so he can stay that way.” Before Jack could comment, Mrs. Twist starting shooing him off the patio and towards the truck. “Go on before you boys end up driving in the dark. I’ll see ya in two weeks, okay?” She kissed him on the cheek and turned him towards the truck.
Jack called for Buck to come and walked over to the truck, every now and then looking back at the house his mother had just walked into. He kept shaking his head completely lacking any kind of understanding of what he had just seen.
When he got to the truck, Ennis was just standing there by the driver’s door, facing away from Jack, food bag in hand. He walked over to face Ennis, “What in hell is going…,” but was brought to a halt when he saw Ennis’ face. His lip was quivering and his eyes were full of tears. His hands were shaking and little crinkly sounds came from the bag he was holding.
“Ennis…,” Jack said now with concern.
“She…your mom…she…uh…asked me…to call her ma. She said…she wanted to think of me…as her son.” Ennis took a deep breath trying to keep from crying but when he looked at Jack he wasn’t able to hold it anymore. Jack reached out to hold Ennis while his tears flowed. Once Ennis had finished he stepped back from Jack wiping his face with his jacket sleeves. Jack saw that Ennis wanted to say more so remained quiet.
“You’re the only one that’s ever loved me, Jack. Nobody else really. But now, your mom…she…wants to be my mom. My mom died so long ago, ya know. She didn’t pay much attention to me having to take care of children and a ranch,” Ennis hesitated for a moment to pull himself together. “I never thought I’d ever have a mom that cared about me.” Ennis looked down and saw he still had the food bag in his hands so opened the truck door and put it inside.
Jack, at this point, was stupefied. Neither of them had ever seen anything like this coming. He was happy, mind you, but it was just such a shock.
“My ma said all this to you?” Jack said quietly. Ennis just nodded.
Jack stood quiet for a moment, then it all broke loose, “WELL, SONOFABITCH, WHATYA THINK OF THAT? I ain’t believin’ this, cowboy. This is GREAT! We’re brothers now! Yeehaaw!” And Jack started dancing around in excitement. Ennis just stood there staring at him like Jack had lost his mind.
“I mean that’s kinda weird since we…well, ya know…kinda are in love and all that.” Jack spun on Ennis real quick. “Does this mean we can’t have sex no more, Ennis?”
Ennis, with a groan, saw where this was headed so grabbed Jack by the scruff of his jacket and shoved him towards the passenger’s side of the truck.
“Just get your ass in the truck,” Ennis said turning stern again. “We gotta get driving.” Jack was not deterred in the least.
“But ain’t there something about incest…ya know, brothers doin’ it and all?” Jack wouldn’t stop as he rounded the truck to get in the passenger’s side.
“Jack!” came the warning from Ennis.
“Well, hell, Ennis, I don’t know about these things. There might be a law or something.” Jack knew how to egg Ennis on and, though he was very excited about this turn of events, still felt that Ennis shouldn’t be spared his twisted and comic view of the world.
Ennis was in the driver’s seat, Buck in the middle, and was starting the engine ready to leave without Jack if this was what he was going to have to put up with all the way home. He was thinking he might have made a bad decision in saying yes to Mrs. Twist.
As Jack went to get in the truck, he glanced at the door to the house. He saw his mom drinking some coffee watching out the window. He stopped for a moment, real serious, then smiled and waved at her, seeing her nod, before he jumped into the passenger seat.
Ennis had to stop the truck on the way back and threaten to bodily toss Jack out to get him to shut up. That only lasted ten miles.
Title: If Not For Fear XVI
Pairing: E/J
Rating: G
Synopsis: Life after E&J's big fight.
Disclaimer: All credit to Annie Proulx
“Ennis!” Jack shouted.
“Jack, I’m busy…” Ennis shouted back from the shower.
“Ennis, there ain’t a damn thing to do around here and I’m bored.”
“Damnit, Jack, go play with Buck.”
“Already done that,” Jack pouted. He had been wandering around the house, room to room, Buck on his heels, looking for something interesting to do after a week of working the ranch. Finding nothing he decided to make his own entertainment.
Tiptoeing through the living room to the bathroom like some cartoon character trying to sneak up on someone…nearly choking trying not to laugh…he made his way over to the toilet and without hesitation flushed it and ran.
The reaction was almost instantaneous.
“GODDAMN, SONOFABITCH……JACK!!!” Apparently Ennis didn’t find the humor in this stunt that Jack did. “You better run, Twist, cause your ass is mine when I get outta here…”
Jack barely heard any of this. He was bent over double standing near the back of the couch outside of the bathroom door laughing so hard he could barely breathe. Buck stood near him, head cocked to the side, tongue out, wondering about this curious human behavior.
Jack stole a quick glance towards the bathroom but had no time to react to the wet, naked, and furious human missile that was headed his way. Ennis caught Jack with a flying tackle, which took them both over the back of the couch. They bounced off the cushions and landed in a heap on the floor, Jack dazed by the suddenness of Ennis’ action. Ennis had each of Jack’s wrists pinned. Buck was barking loudly feeling left out of all the activity, trying to wiggle his way in between the pair.
“So, cause you’re bored, I gotta catch shit over it?” Ennis said through clenched teeth, holding Buck off with his hip.
All Jack could do was stare…then the laughing started again in earnest. The idea of Ennis running at him like that, naked and wet, was more than he could stand. Tears came to his eyes at the memory, brief though it was, and he had to acknowledge he wasn’t bored anymore.
Through fits of laughter, “Well…cowboy…I guess…my ass is yours now.” Jack’s response to Ennis’ earlier threat now took on a deeper meaning. Jack began to calm. He was staring straight into Ennis’ eyes which held his like a snake with a bird.
“Yeah, rodeo….I guess it is.”
Ennis only had a token grasp of Jack’s wrists so he simply twisted them to release himself from Ennis’ hands. Slowly Jack brought his hands to Ennis’ face pulling it closer.
In a quiet, slightly shaking voice, Jack said, “Always yours, Ennis, only yours.” Ennis kissed Jack fiercely acknowledging the statement…laying claim to what, Ennis realized, Jack had now and always freely offered.
No more boredom thanks to Jack. Both had plenty to occupy their time.
************
September, 1967…four months since Jack fled to Lightning Flat and his and Ennis’ reconciliation…a year-and-a-half since Jack had showed up on Ennis’ doorstep, wet and cold…just over four years since they had left the mountain.
Ennis understood now that Jack stayed of his own free will, choosing him over all others, and found it easier to see Jack around other men…as a matter of fact, Ennis more and more often joined in to share in some of the laughter and talk.
Jack had come to understand that Ennis’ greatest fear had to do with losing him, so he’d reassure Ennis now and then that he wasn’t going anywhere…that Ennis was his one and only.
There lives had been going on pretty smoothly…both continued at the ranch but at a higher capacity. The foreman and boss had quickly seen how valuable Jack and Ennis could be so had given them more responsibility…which meant some more money also. They were each happy with the vote of confidence and wanted to show that they could be trusted and relied upon so worked hard each day they were there.
As for trouble, there was the occasional sidelong glance or muffled comment as they passed, but for the most part, they were left alone. Of course, they didn’t rub their relationship in anyone’s face and only rarely came into town. Ennis had become more outgoing but never let loose of his caution and always kept a close eye on Jack wherever they happened to be.
Every other weekend, they headed over to Lightning Flat to help Mrs. Twist. They had done some much-needed repairs on the house…things Mrs. Twist had been unable to do herself. She was a ranch wife and just over 40 years old, so was strong and capable, but there was a lot she was not able to do alone.
They had made repairs on the roof, cleared out some of the brush surrounding the house so it would appear more presentable and repainted the inside and outside among other things. The patio on the front of the house got roofed so now Mrs. Twist could sit out in the shade any time of day in a rocker they had found or rest there in the evening when it got cool.
When the boys weren’t there, Mrs. Twist would sometimes wander around the house running her hands over repairs the boys had made and an occasional tear would spring forth at the thought of her son returning…and bringing such a nice young man with him. She had someone to take care of again, a purpose, and often gave thanks to God for such a blessing.
One particular weekend, as Ennis and Jack were leaving to go back to Riverton, Jack had gone to the truck and Mrs. Twist had asked Ennis to stay for a moment.
“Ennis, I got something to ask you.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Ennis said with his hat in his hand. He liked Mrs. Twist and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her.
“Ennis, I would like it if you would call me Ma from now on.” Ennis’ head snapped up not in any way expecting this to be the reason Mrs. Twist had asked him to stay behind.
“Uh, Mrs. Twist…ma’am…uh, I don’t know…I mean, you’re Jack’s mom, so…” Mrs. Twist laid a hand on Ennis forearm.
“Ennis, you love my son and have done right by him. I am truly grateful for that. You have come to my house and treated me with respect and kindness. I know that your own mother is gone so…I’d like to think of you as my second son…if you’d be so kind as to accept that from me.” Mrs. Twist’s eyes grew misty. “Now that Jack’s father is gone, I would have two boys to fuss over, twice the joy and pride.”
Ennis was stunned…frozen where he stood. Other than Jack, no one had ever shown this much interest in him. What Mrs. Twist wanted of him was very difficult for him to grasp. But he knew that he did like her. She had always been kind to him…always offering a good word, always supportive. And she really did make the best cherry cake he had ever eaten. He missed his own mom and had no one in his life to fill that role…so he made his decision.
Standing straight, trying to keep his voice together, he said, “I can’t tell you what I feel right now, ma’am. I ain’t had a mom for near ten years and, well, you been just like a mom to me since I met you. You treated me like a man and…,” here Ennis had to turn aside so he could maintain his composure, “well, you been real good to me.” He brushed the one tear from his face that had escaped. “I’d be more than honored, ma’am, if you’d see fit to think of me as your son.”
Mrs. Twist smiled real wide and taking Ennis’ face in her two hands, leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.
“You do me the honor, Ennis. Now I have two sons. God has blessed me twice.” She stepped back and looked at him for a moment. Then she turned and picked up some paper bags of food for them to take and walked out with him to the porch.
“You’ll take care of Jack, now, okay? He don’t always look where he’s going, ya know.”
Ennis chuckled, “Yes, ma’am, that’s a fact.” He stopped for a moment then said, “I ain’t never gonna let anything happen to him. I promise.” Mrs. Twist smiled and patted him on the shoulder. About then Jack stepped up onto the porch.
“You boys be careful driving back, ya hear?”
Ennis turned to Mrs. Twist, “I will…ma. We’ll see you in two weeks. Call us if you need anything.” Ennis stood for just a moment then reached out to give her a big hug which Mrs. Twist returned just as heartily.
Jack watching this was mystified, his jaw dropped to the patio floor. Did he just call her “ma”? And he hugged her. Ennis never hugs anyone…well, except me. What in the world is going on here?
Ennis took a few steps towards Jack, who now saw that Ennis had either been crying or was just about to let loose.
“Ennis?” Jack whispered Ennis looked up once at Jack then turned to nod goodbye to Mrs. Twist who, Jack saw, was having a difficult time not crying herself. Ennis strode off the patio and on towards the truck.
“Ma, what’s going on? Are you alright?” Jack was now seriously concerned but his mother just patted him on the arm and said, “Everything is just fine, son. You take good care of Ennis, ya hear? He’s a good man and needs you so he can stay that way.” Before Jack could comment, Mrs. Twist starting shooing him off the patio and towards the truck. “Go on before you boys end up driving in the dark. I’ll see ya in two weeks, okay?” She kissed him on the cheek and turned him towards the truck.
Jack called for Buck to come and walked over to the truck, every now and then looking back at the house his mother had just walked into. He kept shaking his head completely lacking any kind of understanding of what he had just seen.
When he got to the truck, Ennis was just standing there by the driver’s door, facing away from Jack, food bag in hand. He walked over to face Ennis, “What in hell is going…,” but was brought to a halt when he saw Ennis’ face. His lip was quivering and his eyes were full of tears. His hands were shaking and little crinkly sounds came from the bag he was holding.
“Ennis…,” Jack said now with concern.
“She…your mom…she…uh…asked me…to call her ma. She said…she wanted to think of me…as her son.” Ennis took a deep breath trying to keep from crying but when he looked at Jack he wasn’t able to hold it anymore. Jack reached out to hold Ennis while his tears flowed. Once Ennis had finished he stepped back from Jack wiping his face with his jacket sleeves. Jack saw that Ennis wanted to say more so remained quiet.
“You’re the only one that’s ever loved me, Jack. Nobody else really. But now, your mom…she…wants to be my mom. My mom died so long ago, ya know. She didn’t pay much attention to me having to take care of children and a ranch,” Ennis hesitated for a moment to pull himself together. “I never thought I’d ever have a mom that cared about me.” Ennis looked down and saw he still had the food bag in his hands so opened the truck door and put it inside.
Jack, at this point, was stupefied. Neither of them had ever seen anything like this coming. He was happy, mind you, but it was just such a shock.
“My ma said all this to you?” Jack said quietly. Ennis just nodded.
Jack stood quiet for a moment, then it all broke loose, “WELL, SONOFABITCH, WHATYA THINK OF THAT? I ain’t believin’ this, cowboy. This is GREAT! We’re brothers now! Yeehaaw!” And Jack started dancing around in excitement. Ennis just stood there staring at him like Jack had lost his mind.
“I mean that’s kinda weird since we…well, ya know…kinda are in love and all that.” Jack spun on Ennis real quick. “Does this mean we can’t have sex no more, Ennis?”
Ennis, with a groan, saw where this was headed so grabbed Jack by the scruff of his jacket and shoved him towards the passenger’s side of the truck.
“Just get your ass in the truck,” Ennis said turning stern again. “We gotta get driving.” Jack was not deterred in the least.
“But ain’t there something about incest…ya know, brothers doin’ it and all?” Jack wouldn’t stop as he rounded the truck to get in the passenger’s side.
“Jack!” came the warning from Ennis.
“Well, hell, Ennis, I don’t know about these things. There might be a law or something.” Jack knew how to egg Ennis on and, though he was very excited about this turn of events, still felt that Ennis shouldn’t be spared his twisted and comic view of the world.
Ennis was in the driver’s seat, Buck in the middle, and was starting the engine ready to leave without Jack if this was what he was going to have to put up with all the way home. He was thinking he might have made a bad decision in saying yes to Mrs. Twist.
As Jack went to get in the truck, he glanced at the door to the house. He saw his mom drinking some coffee watching out the window. He stopped for a moment, real serious, then smiled and waved at her, seeing her nod, before he jumped into the passenger seat.
Ennis had to stop the truck on the way back and threaten to bodily toss Jack out to get him to shut up. That only lasted ten miles.