Mary Had A Little Lamb
Placing this behind a cut because it might offend some people. If you're a big fan of Jeebus you probably don't want to read on.
Anyway, I think I pretty much have to forward this to my mom, she would love it.
If you don't share her disillusionment in organized religion or her mean sense of humor just remember I didn't write it, blame it on /b/
Mary was a drunken whore who sold her cunt for cash.
If she was alive today you'd call her 'trailer trash'.
Mary soon got pregnant 'cause the pill did not exist.
When Joseph heard the news Mary learned the taste of fist.
They ran away to Bethlehem, supposedly for a census.
In fact they feared their parents would see Mary's lack of menses.
So Mary had a little Lamb in a cold and clammy stable.
This part of the bible may be true, but the rest is just a fable.
They called the bastard 'Jesus'. Said he was the son of God.
Soon his ego grew quite large - he thought he was quite hot.
He called himself 'messiah', he said he was 'the saviour',
and no one can go to heaven unless they brown-nose for his favor.
He only had 12 friends and all of them were men.
His nickname was 'the carpenter' - been screwing from age ten.
The romans didn't like him, he pissed the priests off, too.
In order to crucify his arse they bought one of his crew.
Soon he was dangling from the wood like a piñata in the sky.
He called out to his 'father' God - haha! - he still believed the lie.
He died and was buried in a cave sealed by big round stone.
Some mangy dogs found a way inside and dragged off every last bone.
Millions of fools believe today that he went up to God's abode;
in fact the dogs shit him out on some deserted road.
That's the tale of Jesus Christ. The bastard son of a whore.
His life was twisted and remade To match some pagan lore.
He didn't die for your sins, he only died for his own.
And if you still believe in him You're a stupid fucking clone.
Here's a short one that was posted in reply that also made me larf:
Haji had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow.
When Haji wasn't fucking boys,
the lamb was good to go.
Anyway, I think I pretty much have to forward this to my mom, she would love it.
If you don't share her disillusionment in organized religion or her mean sense of humor just remember I didn't write it, blame it on /b/
Mary was a drunken whore who sold her cunt for cash.
If she was alive today you'd call her 'trailer trash'.
Mary soon got pregnant 'cause the pill did not exist.
When Joseph heard the news Mary learned the taste of fist.
They ran away to Bethlehem, supposedly for a census.
In fact they feared their parents would see Mary's lack of menses.
So Mary had a little Lamb in a cold and clammy stable.
This part of the bible may be true, but the rest is just a fable.
They called the bastard 'Jesus'. Said he was the son of God.
Soon his ego grew quite large - he thought he was quite hot.
He called himself 'messiah', he said he was 'the saviour',
and no one can go to heaven unless they brown-nose for his favor.
He only had 12 friends and all of them were men.
His nickname was 'the carpenter' - been screwing from age ten.
The romans didn't like him, he pissed the priests off, too.
In order to crucify his arse they bought one of his crew.
Soon he was dangling from the wood like a piñata in the sky.
He called out to his 'father' God - haha! - he still believed the lie.
He died and was buried in a cave sealed by big round stone.
Some mangy dogs found a way inside and dragged off every last bone.
Millions of fools believe today that he went up to God's abode;
in fact the dogs shit him out on some deserted road.
That's the tale of Jesus Christ. The bastard son of a whore.
His life was twisted and remade To match some pagan lore.
He didn't die for your sins, he only died for his own.
And if you still believe in him You're a stupid fucking clone.
Here's a short one that was posted in reply that also made me larf:
Haji had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow.
When Haji wasn't fucking boys,
the lamb was good to go.