funeral problems

[stgpcm]

We discussed it occasionally, but never to any great conclusions. We discussed medical training, but the assumption was this would be too difficult for his family, and he would be going back to be near his family. I talked this through with his sister, and had contacted funeral directors to sort things out

Comments

[adjectivemarcus]

Yeah, I'd feel quite hostile if I heard that. )c:

Kay never discussed anything like this with me.

[faerierhona]

I'm sorry, but he never discussed anything with me about this.

Perhaps, if there are no other answers, it should be whatever gives you greatest comfort?

[tajasel]

I'd agree with this, completely; also what x_mass said below: "i would do what is right for you and Kay's friends. If Kay were here but had to stay somewhere outside for the next 100 years where would he pick: surrounded by people, in a wood, in a field? And where would people most like to be able to go see him and remember the time we had with him? I'm pretty certain what Kay would want is whatever would make you happiest."

[katherinedeane]

Sorry he never discussed this with me. However I suspect that like you he had no great attachment to his body once he had left it (hence the medical research idea). I expect he would be happy with where ever was easiest for you - both emotionally, financially, and taking into account family politics. I agree it does sound like there were unresolved issues with his mum - but don't be too hard on her - it is a great shock for her too - and people can be incredibly tactless when they are hurting.
Many many hugs - and if you do want ideas for where to lay him to rest I'll think up a few.

[ankaret]

I think he very vaguely mentioned the medical research idea to me when I was talking about doing something similar, but looking back on it I think he was just being supportive to me and saying 'yes, that's not a totally awful thing to consider' rather than making any kind of definite statement about what he wanted himself.

I am really sorry things are being difficult. I think faerierhona's suggestion that if nothing else comes up in his papers or similar, you should do what gives you the greatest comfort, is an excellent one.

Lots of love.

[purplerabbits]

The only conversation I had with him about it was quite a long time ago, when my sister died. I hope someone has more recent knowledge but I'm happy to talk to you about what he said then if you want (it wasn't anything particularly definite or surprising)