Log: Dean/River
Dean hadn't talked to River in a bout a week. He wasn't ashamed to admit that he was worried about her. Of course, nobody suspected that he was nervous, so he had nobody to admit it to anyway. He paced around his room, trying to think of where she'd gone. She wasn't in her room (and if she was, she wasn't answering his knocks), so he picked the library as the second most likely place.
He padded down the stairs, into the grand room. He'd never been in, and whistled low. "Damn. Sam's gonna bust a nut."
River was curled up in a chair, happily engrossed in a novel she'd found. She was aware it was fiction, and she couldn't help but giggle at random intervals as she flipped pages. The writing was atrocious, and she was still marvelling that books like these apparently sold well on Earth-that-Was. Did people have nothing to do with their time?
However, as she flipped another page of "One Night Standards", she heard a voice, murmuring under its breath. She almost thought it was in her head, but then she heard footsteps. Pronounced, but not heavy or ponderous. "Dean?"
Dean walked toward the voice. He wanted to move forward and scoop her up into his arms, and tell her never ever to go away again. Instead, he gave her a smirk. "Hey. Didn't take you for a romance novel girl."
She smiled at him, hoping he would sit next to her without her asking. "It's the most excellent comedy I've read in an age." She shrugged, folding her legs underneath her thin body. "Are there people who believe this is reality, or just a high culture of escapism on this planet?"
He had to grin at that. It was a chick who genuinely hated chick flick moments. "There's people who really think stuff goes that way, yeah. Mostly stupid girls." He flopped down in a chair next to her, sprawling out his legs.
Ever since talking to Doctor Cuddy, she'd wanted to talk to him, but still. She feared the day he told her to go away, so she figured the simplest way to pre-empt that was to go away herself. Still. He was here now, and she could ask him. Without preamble, she turned toward his chair. "What is a Bee Gee, please?"
Dean blinked. "A what?" He couldn't help brushing some hair away from her eyes.
"Doctor Cuddy said they were a group of some kind and that you liked them. Don't know what they are." Her forehead tingled when his fingers just barely brushed the skin, and she knew it made her look even more confused.
"Oh, The Bee Gees. They're these three guys with no testicles who made the worst music known to mankind. Lisa was trying to rattle my chain." He shrugged a little, and blinked at how confused she looked. "Why, when did you talk to her?" This might end up with me not having testicles.
"Rattle ... " She looked over him, then touched the cord of the necklace he wore, with the strange amulet. "Did she rattle it off?" She didn't answer his other question, not right away. If Doctor Lisa Cuddy had done anything to hurt Dean, River would be upset.
"Oh, it's a ... " He tried to think of the technical word, which was something that Sammy would know. "It's a saying. It means to mess with me. To annoy me. To ruffle my feathers." He scratched his head. "Which is another saying that means the same thing. But yeah. She didn't do anything to it." He took her hand in his, idly toying with the fingers.
"Oh." If it wasn't a physical act, River would relax. She did so visibly, though the strange tingling kept up, especially when he took her ring finger between his thumb and index and idly stroked it. That sent gooseflesh all the way up her back.
To distract herself from the strange feeling, she said abruptly, "A few days ago. She fixed my foot in the hallway." She held up her left foot, showing him the bandage hugging her arch.
He ran his fingers up and down the wound, moving the bandage aside to check its healing. He was no doctor, but he'd had some experience with wounds. "She did a good job. She's a good do - " He started to say doctor, but didn't want to startle River, in case she was in denial about what Lisa did. "She's a good lady."
River nodded. "I know what she is." Though she appreciated his tact in trying not to frighten her. "She said she agreed with that walking House that doctors shouldn't hurt people. She wasn't lying; I know lies." She cocked her head, looking at him as he examined her foot. "Who ever heard of a man named after a Home? Isn't the home normally named for the man?"
Dean chuckled. "House might not hurt people when he examines them, but he's damn sure okay about hitting them in the face." His jaw was still a bit sore, and he shrugged about his name. "Names got weird. A lot of times when people came to the United States, the government changed names that its workers thought were hard to say."
River blinked, mouth falling open just slightly. She followed the curve of his face with her hand, fingers light, but with a purpose. When she saw him wince almost imperceptibly, her mouth dropped even more. "Did you hurt him, too?"
"Yeah." Dean didn't know how River would react, so he didn't go into detail. "He doesn't like my father, and he said some shit about my mother." Dean didn't think he had to mention that was a low blow. "And um. He's mad that I've... y'know. With Lisa."
Dean didn't really understand why his stomach fell when he said that. Of course, he knew he wanted to bone River - who wouldn't? She was bendy and lithe and still curvy in all the right places. But she couldn't do that. Probably didn't even think of him like that. Dean wiped sweaty palms on his jeans.
River's face was solemn, but of all people, she understood that arguments happened. All she said was, "Glad there's no lawmen here." She had no doubt Dean could injure someone if he wanted, and she knew that for some people it was considered rude to say things about one's parents. She didn't care about hers, of course, but she knew she was the aberration rather than the norm.
But then she saw his tongue trip over his words when he was explaining the second reason. Not until she procesed his words did she start to laugh. How absurd of House!
Dean blinked. Laughter hadn't been a reaction he'd expected, and it made him chuckle a bit in return. "What's so funny?"
River shook her head, still laughing quietly, pulling her knees up against her chest. "She doesn't love you." She'd brought up Dean's name to Doctor Cuddy and she hadn't seen love or even much friendliness; it had been as if she and Dean had been good friends but the relationship had cooled. River supposed that explained that.
He was still looking a little confused, though, so River explained. "You buy or rent someone's favors, but not their heart. If such eats the House, then he should worry about his relations with the lady, not with you." It seemed self-evident, to her. The idea of Dean sampling Lisa's favours didn't faze her at all. Men were men. Even the captain had had that Nandi.
"Yeah, but guys don't see it that way all the time. They get jealous. Possessive. Girls are... theirs, and they don't like other guys touching their stuff. Even when the girl doesn't know she belongs to the other guy yet." Dean shook his head, wondering if Lisa knew that House was a jealous weirdo.
"And no. She doesn't love me. I don't love her either. It's just... sex is nice. Distracting. Feels good." He shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it with her. He didn't even know if she knew how it worked.
"I would imagine it feels good." She chose her words carefully, trying to convey the information she wanted and no more. "Never even kissed a boy. Though now I've kissed a man." She tried not to blush - she'd liked it, honestly; it had just been new.
But when Dean had explained jealousy, she shook her head, curious. "Do you think I belong to you?" She wouldn't mind all that much, honestly. Without him she would have self-destructed ages ago.
Dean stuttered. "Um. I. Um. I. ... no?" He got a bit pink, and stood up to go to a bookshelf and select a book. Did she just blush? She just said she'd kissed a man. She thinks it feels good. The hell?
She stood along with him, though, following him to the bookshelf. "What's wrong?" He looked so tight and drawn. "You look like you haven't slept in days." River knew she was unusual in that she didn't need that much sleep, but she also knew that most people did.
He shook his head, looking for a book. Any book. He grabbed one and started reading. It was a romance novel, and he wrinkled his nose and put it back on the shelf. "Read anything good since you've gotten here?" He looked back over at her, and her eyes were wide and concerned. He couldn't help it, and cupped her cheeks to kiss her again. She was a freak too. She understood him. He didn't even have to say anything, and she got him. It was heady, and he wished he knew how to proceed.
She didn't understand him, but she wasn't about to push him off her. She liked the closeness, and she liked that he could switch so quickly from gruff and dangerous with some others, to being so kind and gentle with her. She understood a little more what kissing her meant, and so she kissed him back, but not as hard as she could. She still needed to think some things out.
When their lips parted, Dean blinked. "You kissed me back." It was almost accusatory, but he needed to know why.
River nodded. "I could." It was an explanation - if he needed more of an answer right now, she couldn't give it to him.
It made enough sense to Dean, but it wasn't the exact answer he'd wanted. He'd done a whole lot of stupid things with the motivation of 'I could'. He sort of understood why Sam looked so constipated all the time.
She bit her lip, but she had to ask him. He looked so uncomfortable. "Do you have to take someone's favours before you can belong to them?"
Dean couldn't help smiling. "No. Usually, the ... favours happen afterwards." Granted, Dean Winchester didn't really do things in that order very often, but he couldn't help feeling a flutter in his stomach at her question. "Why?"
River shrugged, though she knew she turned red when she answered, almost at the instant. "I could belong to you, if you want." She wouldn't mind being his. No one else allowed to touch her. Except ... "Does that mean that no one could touch me, or could Alice still if she wanted to?"
He chuckled nervously, wiping his hands off again. "It's more... you couldn't have... favours with another man. You can hug who you want." He looked down at his shoes. "Do you... want that?" He inhaled and held the breath, his chest tightening.
River nodded. "No one's had my favours." Therefore it didn't seem a big deal to her to promise. She'd idly thought about giving them to Dean, but she doubted he wanted them. Then again, she didn't really know how to ask such a thing.
He looked down, shuffling his feet. "I'm not good at not... giving my favours to women." The metaphor was starting to grate on his nerves, but he kept it up for her sake.
River shrugged, not understanding why that was even relevant. She could belong to him without him belonging to her. She didn't want to burden him, or push him away. The idea scared her. She just gently wrapped her arms around him, as she might have done with Simon; there were moments, few and far between as they were, that simply required physical contact.
He kissed the top of her head. She got him. It was a luxury he wasn't used to having, but he could get used to. "So. Wanna go swimming?"
River nodded, smiling a little. She could return to the book later. "I have to get my swimming suit, though."
Dean grinned a little. "Why?"
Hearing that, River felt her face begin to slowly flush. " ... Because the chlorine will adversely affect the composition of my skin?" He wants to see me without clothing?
Dean shook his head. "No more than if you're in a suit. C'mon." He put his hands in his pockets, whistling a bit. What the hell am I doing? It's like I'm cockteasing myself!
Oh, she was flame red now, and part of her wanted to frown at him for embarrassing her. She was embarrassed - she was, as she'd been told once or twice, she was too thin and bony. "I'd have to fatten up first," she murmured quietly.
Dean rolled his eyes as he walked, linking his arm through hers. "Why? You're gorgeous, you know." He shrugged. "You've never been skinny dipping?"
"No." She wasn't averse to swimming with no clothes. It was like showering or bathing, after all. But she realized - surprising her to the point she actually stopped in her tracks - that she was nervous about him seeing her with no clothes.
Dean stopped too, and looked down at her. "Y'okay?" He blinked and ruffled her hair. "I promise you, I won't look until you get into the water."
The fact he'd say that made her smile a little. That did help. "Fine," she said. Water would help distort everything.
He walked with her to the pool. He sat down on a chair and unlaced his boots, kicking them to the side. He stripped off his t-shirt and jeans, setting them in a haphazard pile on the boots.
She still marvelled at his body, though she'd seen it before. Even as River stepped out of the shorts she wore under her dress, she couldn't help but watch him, especially from the back. His shoulders were broad, and he moved like a well-oiled machine. Why was she bright red now?
He pushed out of his jeans, kicking them aside, and let his boxers follow. He winked at River and walked into the warm water, groaning a little as it washed over his legs. "Hey, lock the door." He didn't want anyone looking at River.
She obeyed, walking over and turning the antiquated mechanism until it clicked. As she turned back to look at him, she saw him dive under the water, and she had to smile. He really had come from the water; she'd have bet at hasard.
She walked back over to the edge of the pool, taking a breath and slipping her dress over her head before she could think. Keeping with that same fast reaction, she walked into the pool, leaning down enough so the water licked at her shoulders, getting the bottom of her hair wet.
True to his word, he didn't turn around to look right away. Once he resurfaced, he treaded water and waited for her to give him the word. "Tell me when you're ready."
"Ready." River nodded, staying under the water, but getting closer to him. She didn't even mind if he touched, really. Just something about having his eyes roam over her like some kind of cargo. He didn't love her, so he wouldn't look at her like she was special. And yet, she did trust him enough to be here at all.
Dean turned around and smiled. "A lot of people skinny dip before sex - they think it's kinky or naughty or something. I think it just feels good." He floated back a little bit, smiling at her. "Feels nice, huh?"
It did, actually. Evidently the chlorine content was low enough so as not to be problematic. "Warm." She suddenly clamped two fingers across her nose and ducked underwater. She liked the floating feeling she got.
He couldn't help laughing at that. She was so child-like at times, it was adorable. But she was most absolutely an adult. She had the observations, she had the mannerisms. She was a woman, but just one who saw the world in a unique way. He couldn't help identifying.
Eventually she resurfaced, standing up completely to wring her hair out, forgetting for a moment that she wasn't wearing a suit. The air in the pool area was cool, but it was always cool.
Dean blinked hard. She was like some sort of vision. The kind of girl every guy wanted - unassuming, comfortable in her own skin, content. It made him happy, and he smiled a little bit before realizing he should turn around.
She caught that smile and blushed, but she only ducked down under the water a little. "Hair weighs me down." River did her best to seem still nonchalant, still normal. She didn't want him to get frustrated and go away.
"I like your hair." He treaded water, still looking away from her. "It works for you. I can't see you with short hair."
River smiled. "You can look." She didn't say anything about her hair, at least not yet. She'd always had long hair - it would have been like cutting off an appendage to lose it. "It's just heavy."
Dean swam over to her. She seemed to know the steps to this dance, and he wondered if she wanted to. He moved behind her, putting hands on her shoulders and rubbing gently. "Better?"
She was bright red again, and she couldn't help but sigh when he touched her. There was blood hammering in her ears, and it was starting to scare her, if only because she didn't know what to make of any of it.
He moved his head a bit to kiss her temple. "S'nice." He couldn't help marvelling at how soft and warm she was. She was blushed bright red, and he let his lips move to her ear.
Why wasn't she panicking? She should be panicking. His hands were careful and deliberate, and he wasn't doing anything fresh, just touching her, and her head was spinning, but not like she'd grown used to it spinning. Was she breathing?
Dean moved around her so he was facing her so he could kiss her again. He let his hands rest on her shoulders and let his tongue stroke her lower lip.
She kissed him back, feeling the bones in his shoulders and at the base of his neck. She liked this - the relaxation in her hands and upper body could attest to that - but still, she didn't know what to do or how to react. She wasn't a plaything, even if she'd said she belonged to him. But she didn't want to hurt him.
When the kiss broke, she tried to think of words, but finally just smiled, heading toward the stairs to get out and get her clothes. This was happening faster than a Reaver raid, and it scared her. Though only a little.
He turned around again. "I'm sorry." He ran wet fingers through his hair, sighing. "Too fast?"
"I don't know." She dressed quickly, not with panic, but with purpose. There had to be someone she could talk to, a book she could read. She hated being adrift. He sent her out into the ocean in a leaky boat. But at the same time, he seemed to be continually offering her a ride.
Once she had her clothes on, she stopped, though, and leaned down at the edge of the pool, watching him come over. Once he got close enough, she kissed him once more, hoping he understood what she was trying to say.
He smiled, reaching up a damp hand to take hers in it, guiding the knuckles to his lips to kiss once. "Meet me for Home Shopping at six? We can get tacos."
She nodded, smiling and relieved. He wasn't mad. She hadn't ruined anything. He didn't love her, and he still understood.
She picked up her towel, winding it around her hair as she unlocked the door and left. She didn't even bother to go up and change out of her wet clothes; she headed immediately for the bowels of the library. She had to try to find some sanity, and if she couldn't, well, it was still a place to go and be alone and think.
He padded down the stairs, into the grand room. He'd never been in, and whistled low. "Damn. Sam's gonna bust a nut."
River was curled up in a chair, happily engrossed in a novel she'd found. She was aware it was fiction, and she couldn't help but giggle at random intervals as she flipped pages. The writing was atrocious, and she was still marvelling that books like these apparently sold well on Earth-that-Was. Did people have nothing to do with their time?
However, as she flipped another page of "One Night Standards", she heard a voice, murmuring under its breath. She almost thought it was in her head, but then she heard footsteps. Pronounced, but not heavy or ponderous. "Dean?"
Dean walked toward the voice. He wanted to move forward and scoop her up into his arms, and tell her never ever to go away again. Instead, he gave her a smirk. "Hey. Didn't take you for a romance novel girl."
She smiled at him, hoping he would sit next to her without her asking. "It's the most excellent comedy I've read in an age." She shrugged, folding her legs underneath her thin body. "Are there people who believe this is reality, or just a high culture of escapism on this planet?"
He had to grin at that. It was a chick who genuinely hated chick flick moments. "There's people who really think stuff goes that way, yeah. Mostly stupid girls." He flopped down in a chair next to her, sprawling out his legs.
Ever since talking to Doctor Cuddy, she'd wanted to talk to him, but still. She feared the day he told her to go away, so she figured the simplest way to pre-empt that was to go away herself. Still. He was here now, and she could ask him. Without preamble, she turned toward his chair. "What is a Bee Gee, please?"
Dean blinked. "A what?" He couldn't help brushing some hair away from her eyes.
"Doctor Cuddy said they were a group of some kind and that you liked them. Don't know what they are." Her forehead tingled when his fingers just barely brushed the skin, and she knew it made her look even more confused.
"Oh, The Bee Gees. They're these three guys with no testicles who made the worst music known to mankind. Lisa was trying to rattle my chain." He shrugged a little, and blinked at how confused she looked. "Why, when did you talk to her?" This might end up with me not having testicles.
"Rattle ... " She looked over him, then touched the cord of the necklace he wore, with the strange amulet. "Did she rattle it off?" She didn't answer his other question, not right away. If Doctor Lisa Cuddy had done anything to hurt Dean, River would be upset.
"Oh, it's a ... " He tried to think of the technical word, which was something that Sammy would know. "It's a saying. It means to mess with me. To annoy me. To ruffle my feathers." He scratched his head. "Which is another saying that means the same thing. But yeah. She didn't do anything to it." He took her hand in his, idly toying with the fingers.
"Oh." If it wasn't a physical act, River would relax. She did so visibly, though the strange tingling kept up, especially when he took her ring finger between his thumb and index and idly stroked it. That sent gooseflesh all the way up her back.
To distract herself from the strange feeling, she said abruptly, "A few days ago. She fixed my foot in the hallway." She held up her left foot, showing him the bandage hugging her arch.
He ran his fingers up and down the wound, moving the bandage aside to check its healing. He was no doctor, but he'd had some experience with wounds. "She did a good job. She's a good do - " He started to say doctor, but didn't want to startle River, in case she was in denial about what Lisa did. "She's a good lady."
River nodded. "I know what she is." Though she appreciated his tact in trying not to frighten her. "She said she agreed with that walking House that doctors shouldn't hurt people. She wasn't lying; I know lies." She cocked her head, looking at him as he examined her foot. "Who ever heard of a man named after a Home? Isn't the home normally named for the man?"
Dean chuckled. "House might not hurt people when he examines them, but he's damn sure okay about hitting them in the face." His jaw was still a bit sore, and he shrugged about his name. "Names got weird. A lot of times when people came to the United States, the government changed names that its workers thought were hard to say."
River blinked, mouth falling open just slightly. She followed the curve of his face with her hand, fingers light, but with a purpose. When she saw him wince almost imperceptibly, her mouth dropped even more. "Did you hurt him, too?"
"Yeah." Dean didn't know how River would react, so he didn't go into detail. "He doesn't like my father, and he said some shit about my mother." Dean didn't think he had to mention that was a low blow. "And um. He's mad that I've... y'know. With Lisa."
Dean didn't really understand why his stomach fell when he said that. Of course, he knew he wanted to bone River - who wouldn't? She was bendy and lithe and still curvy in all the right places. But she couldn't do that. Probably didn't even think of him like that. Dean wiped sweaty palms on his jeans.
River's face was solemn, but of all people, she understood that arguments happened. All she said was, "Glad there's no lawmen here." She had no doubt Dean could injure someone if he wanted, and she knew that for some people it was considered rude to say things about one's parents. She didn't care about hers, of course, but she knew she was the aberration rather than the norm.
But then she saw his tongue trip over his words when he was explaining the second reason. Not until she procesed his words did she start to laugh. How absurd of House!
Dean blinked. Laughter hadn't been a reaction he'd expected, and it made him chuckle a bit in return. "What's so funny?"
River shook her head, still laughing quietly, pulling her knees up against her chest. "She doesn't love you." She'd brought up Dean's name to Doctor Cuddy and she hadn't seen love or even much friendliness; it had been as if she and Dean had been good friends but the relationship had cooled. River supposed that explained that.
He was still looking a little confused, though, so River explained. "You buy or rent someone's favors, but not their heart. If such eats the House, then he should worry about his relations with the lady, not with you." It seemed self-evident, to her. The idea of Dean sampling Lisa's favours didn't faze her at all. Men were men. Even the captain had had that Nandi.
"Yeah, but guys don't see it that way all the time. They get jealous. Possessive. Girls are... theirs, and they don't like other guys touching their stuff. Even when the girl doesn't know she belongs to the other guy yet." Dean shook his head, wondering if Lisa knew that House was a jealous weirdo.
"And no. She doesn't love me. I don't love her either. It's just... sex is nice. Distracting. Feels good." He shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it with her. He didn't even know if she knew how it worked.
"I would imagine it feels good." She chose her words carefully, trying to convey the information she wanted and no more. "Never even kissed a boy. Though now I've kissed a man." She tried not to blush - she'd liked it, honestly; it had just been new.
But when Dean had explained jealousy, she shook her head, curious. "Do you think I belong to you?" She wouldn't mind all that much, honestly. Without him she would have self-destructed ages ago.
Dean stuttered. "Um. I. Um. I. ... no?" He got a bit pink, and stood up to go to a bookshelf and select a book. Did she just blush? She just said she'd kissed a man. She thinks it feels good. The hell?
She stood along with him, though, following him to the bookshelf. "What's wrong?" He looked so tight and drawn. "You look like you haven't slept in days." River knew she was unusual in that she didn't need that much sleep, but she also knew that most people did.
He shook his head, looking for a book. Any book. He grabbed one and started reading. It was a romance novel, and he wrinkled his nose and put it back on the shelf. "Read anything good since you've gotten here?" He looked back over at her, and her eyes were wide and concerned. He couldn't help it, and cupped her cheeks to kiss her again. She was a freak too. She understood him. He didn't even have to say anything, and she got him. It was heady, and he wished he knew how to proceed.
She didn't understand him, but she wasn't about to push him off her. She liked the closeness, and she liked that he could switch so quickly from gruff and dangerous with some others, to being so kind and gentle with her. She understood a little more what kissing her meant, and so she kissed him back, but not as hard as she could. She still needed to think some things out.
When their lips parted, Dean blinked. "You kissed me back." It was almost accusatory, but he needed to know why.
River nodded. "I could." It was an explanation - if he needed more of an answer right now, she couldn't give it to him.
It made enough sense to Dean, but it wasn't the exact answer he'd wanted. He'd done a whole lot of stupid things with the motivation of 'I could'. He sort of understood why Sam looked so constipated all the time.
She bit her lip, but she had to ask him. He looked so uncomfortable. "Do you have to take someone's favours before you can belong to them?"
Dean couldn't help smiling. "No. Usually, the ... favours happen afterwards." Granted, Dean Winchester didn't really do things in that order very often, but he couldn't help feeling a flutter in his stomach at her question. "Why?"
River shrugged, though she knew she turned red when she answered, almost at the instant. "I could belong to you, if you want." She wouldn't mind being his. No one else allowed to touch her. Except ... "Does that mean that no one could touch me, or could Alice still if she wanted to?"
He chuckled nervously, wiping his hands off again. "It's more... you couldn't have... favours with another man. You can hug who you want." He looked down at his shoes. "Do you... want that?" He inhaled and held the breath, his chest tightening.
River nodded. "No one's had my favours." Therefore it didn't seem a big deal to her to promise. She'd idly thought about giving them to Dean, but she doubted he wanted them. Then again, she didn't really know how to ask such a thing.
He looked down, shuffling his feet. "I'm not good at not... giving my favours to women." The metaphor was starting to grate on his nerves, but he kept it up for her sake.
River shrugged, not understanding why that was even relevant. She could belong to him without him belonging to her. She didn't want to burden him, or push him away. The idea scared her. She just gently wrapped her arms around him, as she might have done with Simon; there were moments, few and far between as they were, that simply required physical contact.
He kissed the top of her head. She got him. It was a luxury he wasn't used to having, but he could get used to. "So. Wanna go swimming?"
River nodded, smiling a little. She could return to the book later. "I have to get my swimming suit, though."
Dean grinned a little. "Why?"
Hearing that, River felt her face begin to slowly flush. " ... Because the chlorine will adversely affect the composition of my skin?" He wants to see me without clothing?
Dean shook his head. "No more than if you're in a suit. C'mon." He put his hands in his pockets, whistling a bit. What the hell am I doing? It's like I'm cockteasing myself!
Oh, she was flame red now, and part of her wanted to frown at him for embarrassing her. She was embarrassed - she was, as she'd been told once or twice, she was too thin and bony. "I'd have to fatten up first," she murmured quietly.
Dean rolled his eyes as he walked, linking his arm through hers. "Why? You're gorgeous, you know." He shrugged. "You've never been skinny dipping?"
"No." She wasn't averse to swimming with no clothes. It was like showering or bathing, after all. But she realized - surprising her to the point she actually stopped in her tracks - that she was nervous about him seeing her with no clothes.
Dean stopped too, and looked down at her. "Y'okay?" He blinked and ruffled her hair. "I promise you, I won't look until you get into the water."
The fact he'd say that made her smile a little. That did help. "Fine," she said. Water would help distort everything.
He walked with her to the pool. He sat down on a chair and unlaced his boots, kicking them to the side. He stripped off his t-shirt and jeans, setting them in a haphazard pile on the boots.
She still marvelled at his body, though she'd seen it before. Even as River stepped out of the shorts she wore under her dress, she couldn't help but watch him, especially from the back. His shoulders were broad, and he moved like a well-oiled machine. Why was she bright red now?
He pushed out of his jeans, kicking them aside, and let his boxers follow. He winked at River and walked into the warm water, groaning a little as it washed over his legs. "Hey, lock the door." He didn't want anyone looking at River.
She obeyed, walking over and turning the antiquated mechanism until it clicked. As she turned back to look at him, she saw him dive under the water, and she had to smile. He really had come from the water; she'd have bet at hasard.
She walked back over to the edge of the pool, taking a breath and slipping her dress over her head before she could think. Keeping with that same fast reaction, she walked into the pool, leaning down enough so the water licked at her shoulders, getting the bottom of her hair wet.
True to his word, he didn't turn around to look right away. Once he resurfaced, he treaded water and waited for her to give him the word. "Tell me when you're ready."
"Ready." River nodded, staying under the water, but getting closer to him. She didn't even mind if he touched, really. Just something about having his eyes roam over her like some kind of cargo. He didn't love her, so he wouldn't look at her like she was special. And yet, she did trust him enough to be here at all.
Dean turned around and smiled. "A lot of people skinny dip before sex - they think it's kinky or naughty or something. I think it just feels good." He floated back a little bit, smiling at her. "Feels nice, huh?"
It did, actually. Evidently the chlorine content was low enough so as not to be problematic. "Warm." She suddenly clamped two fingers across her nose and ducked underwater. She liked the floating feeling she got.
He couldn't help laughing at that. She was so child-like at times, it was adorable. But she was most absolutely an adult. She had the observations, she had the mannerisms. She was a woman, but just one who saw the world in a unique way. He couldn't help identifying.
Eventually she resurfaced, standing up completely to wring her hair out, forgetting for a moment that she wasn't wearing a suit. The air in the pool area was cool, but it was always cool.
Dean blinked hard. She was like some sort of vision. The kind of girl every guy wanted - unassuming, comfortable in her own skin, content. It made him happy, and he smiled a little bit before realizing he should turn around.
She caught that smile and blushed, but she only ducked down under the water a little. "Hair weighs me down." River did her best to seem still nonchalant, still normal. She didn't want him to get frustrated and go away.
"I like your hair." He treaded water, still looking away from her. "It works for you. I can't see you with short hair."
River smiled. "You can look." She didn't say anything about her hair, at least not yet. She'd always had long hair - it would have been like cutting off an appendage to lose it. "It's just heavy."
Dean swam over to her. She seemed to know the steps to this dance, and he wondered if she wanted to. He moved behind her, putting hands on her shoulders and rubbing gently. "Better?"
She was bright red again, and she couldn't help but sigh when he touched her. There was blood hammering in her ears, and it was starting to scare her, if only because she didn't know what to make of any of it.
He moved his head a bit to kiss her temple. "S'nice." He couldn't help marvelling at how soft and warm she was. She was blushed bright red, and he let his lips move to her ear.
Why wasn't she panicking? She should be panicking. His hands were careful and deliberate, and he wasn't doing anything fresh, just touching her, and her head was spinning, but not like she'd grown used to it spinning. Was she breathing?
Dean moved around her so he was facing her so he could kiss her again. He let his hands rest on her shoulders and let his tongue stroke her lower lip.
She kissed him back, feeling the bones in his shoulders and at the base of his neck. She liked this - the relaxation in her hands and upper body could attest to that - but still, she didn't know what to do or how to react. She wasn't a plaything, even if she'd said she belonged to him. But she didn't want to hurt him.
When the kiss broke, she tried to think of words, but finally just smiled, heading toward the stairs to get out and get her clothes. This was happening faster than a Reaver raid, and it scared her. Though only a little.
He turned around again. "I'm sorry." He ran wet fingers through his hair, sighing. "Too fast?"
"I don't know." She dressed quickly, not with panic, but with purpose. There had to be someone she could talk to, a book she could read. She hated being adrift. He sent her out into the ocean in a leaky boat. But at the same time, he seemed to be continually offering her a ride.
Once she had her clothes on, she stopped, though, and leaned down at the edge of the pool, watching him come over. Once he got close enough, she kissed him once more, hoping he understood what she was trying to say.
He smiled, reaching up a damp hand to take hers in it, guiding the knuckles to his lips to kiss once. "Meet me for Home Shopping at six? We can get tacos."
She nodded, smiling and relieved. He wasn't mad. She hadn't ruined anything. He didn't love her, and he still understood.
She picked up her towel, winding it around her hair as she unlocked the door and left. She didn't even bother to go up and change out of her wet clothes; she headed immediately for the bowels of the library. She had to try to find some sanity, and if she couldn't, well, it was still a place to go and be alone and think.