a flicker of emotions
Yoochun/Junsu
Drama, Angst; PG-13
Angst based from tictac_girl804's line, “Sometimes in those quiet corners of the chaotic back stage during concerts, they shared kisses that made Junsu think that maybe, just maybe, Yoochun felt the same.”
Junsu sits, hidden from the world.
Jaejoong throws glances at him. Fleeting glances that weren’t subtle yet weren’t obvious. Yoochun’s lips curl into a grin as he takes his phone and simply stares at it for the next 4 minutes. He prides in himself that he is more subtle than his older band mate. But he never had a clue that all his so-called subtleties never escaped one person’s notice.
Junsu sits in one corner of the room. He puts his headphones on, keeps quiet and pretends to ignore what’s happening in front of him.
Ignorance is bliss.
The saying has now become a daily mantra of his. Not that he fully committed to it, as most of the time it was only pretense but in his mind, it was better than to think about it. Maybe if he lied to himself enough, he’d eventually believe it. Maybe if he turned a blind eye enough, he’d eventually not notice it.
Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is a fucking bliss.
Junsu repeats it in his head as he watches Jaejoong stand up and head out the door. It’s a scene he’s witnessed a number of times and in a number of situations. He knows that any minute now Yoochun would stand up and mumble a few words of mixed excuses and complaints before following the oldest of the three out. Sometimes Yoochun would throw a hasty goodbye for Junsu; other times he never directly addressed him at all. He has learned not to say things that would make Junsu follow him out. But the latter already knows not to.
As expected, Yoochun stands up and mutters a hasty “I’m hungry” to himself before he hurriedly goes out. Junsu’s heart sinks.
Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is a fucking bliss.
He says it in his head over and over again, very much aware of the irony of his thoughts. He didn’t care.
+
People think he was simply a loner. Junsu liked it that way.
Jaejoong had posts a photo of him and Yoochun, out and about in Japan-just the two of them. Junsu secretly hates Jaejoong’s need for attention.
In the public’s eyes, Jaejoong and Yoochun are the best of friends who share the same tastes in food, fashion and alcohol, while Junsu is the one who “did his own thing”. Little did the public know that Jaejoong and Yoochun are more than that, and Junsu is simply avoiding hurt by being ignorant.
The public doesn’t need to know what Jaejoong and Yoochun did in the older man’s hotel room after dinner, much more so on what Junsu did as he hugged his knees and sat on the rooftop of their hotel, hidden from everyone else.
+
Jaejoong isn’t committed. That is a fact as obvious as the sky. Sex is all fun and games for him.
Yoochun isn’t also committed. It’s true that they he and Jaejoong were birds of the same feather, so to speak.
So when Jaejoong finds himself a new man to cling on, which happens every so often, Yoochun turns to Junsu.
Just before rehearsals start, Jaejoong is already clinging onto another man. Junsu realizes this when Yoochun has his attention on him since that morning. It continued well into the night.
Sometimes in those quiet corners of the chaotic back stage during concerts, they shared kisses that made Junsu think that maybe, just maybe, Yoochun felt the same. On this night of their concert in Japan, the first in a few years, he feels this way again. Yoochun kisses him and touches him in a way that he has never seen Yoochun do on Jaejoong on those times that Junsu spied on them. His kisses are soft and gentle, with a hint of passionate roughness. His touch is as smooth as silk, a warm caress that calmed his raging and beaten heart.
But Junsu knows it will be ending soon.
The concert wraps up and Junsu joins the crowd who exit the venue with satiated but heavy hearts, knowing that there will never be a night like this again.
The next morning, Yoochun is back with Jaejoong again.