...is to jump back into my shell like any naked and terrified creature would, i think that this openness is good... terifyingly good... sorry if i offend
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I'm sorry to see you going through all this heartache with Luke (asshole). But you gotta be careful about who you give your heart to. You can't just throw it out there and call it unconditional love. Live by love, yes, but don't forget wisdom. :\
... even today, with ya'll drinking my pink dragon in the kitchen... it's still so hard. the truth is i do have so much hope in him. not even the hope that he'll one day up and sweep me off my feet... that is such a forign idea, it isn't even funny. i just, well, i do hope in him for who he really is... who he is in Christ. i know he is saved. i know somewhere in there, his heart still loves God. that's why he still hasn't relapsed on drinking. he didn't promise anyone but God... and then, you have to see him sing worship one day... yeah him and mark gave judy a headache, but to just sit all together in our kitchen, and sing storm and revolution together... he's got something in there... i know he does. but somewhere along the lines, i've taken that hope and twisted it to be hope that he'll be something for me... but then again i don't know because a huge part of our compleation is the union between man and woman... a man offering his strength, and the woman being beautifully volnerable... but he's in no place to offer anyone anymore
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Human emotions are such...strange things.
--Rachel
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