we have no choice but to carry on
So I signed up for femgenficathon, and then let the prompt sit there for a while - and then, the matter got loud again. And so, I bring you The Adventures of Pepper Potts While Tony Stark is Building Things in a Cave (With a Box of Scraps).
We have no choice but to carry on
Pepper's phone goes off while she's at dinner - it's on vibrate, but it's sitting on enough in her purse that she can still hear it. She forces herself to let it bump to the voicemail; it's her birthday, after all, and anyone who would be calling her at this time knows that. If it's really important, they'll call her again.
Five minutes later, her phone goes off again. By then, she's on to dessert, so she lets it go, but makes a mental note to call whoever it is back when she leaves the restaurant.
The vague sinking feeling that started building the second time her phone rang intensifies when she leaves and checks her missed calls. Both calls were from Colonel Rhodes, and he definitely wouldn't interrupt the one evening a year she lets herself take off if it weren't something big. She almost doesn't want to find out, but she calls him back anyway.
"Pepper, finally. Did you listen to your messages before you called, or not?"
"I just left dinner," she says, opening her car with her free hand. "Jim, what's going on?"
"The convoy got attacked. I have no idea what happened to Tony, other than - no one found him, and the area's a bit of an insurgent hotbed, so he's probably still alive somewhere."
"He wasn't - he wasn't with you?"
"No. Damn fool insisted on getting in a different Humvee. Anyway, I'm gonna stay over here and help with the search and rescue effort. I just thought you needed to know - I don't know if the media's got their claws in this one yet. Brace yourself."
"God. I... thanks. Let me know if there's anything I can do."
"Pepper, you're gonna be busy enough holding down the fort. We'll take care of everything over here."
He hangs up not long after that; Pepper just stares at her phone until the backlight goes off. After that, it takes her a few minutes to move past the shock enough to drive back to her apartment. She doesn't know how well she's likely to sleep tonight.
***
The next day, all she wants to do is stay home and be in shock, but that's not an option. The news finally broke overnight, at least the part where Tony's missing and presumed kidnapped, and the press is hankering for any comment they can get from anyone, including (for some damn reason) Pepper. That woman from Vanity Fair seems particularly catty - or maybe it's concerned, one can never tell with Tony's cast-off conquests - when she asks about the odds that Tony's dead and no one knows it yet.
"Right now, we don't really know what those odds are," Pepper says. "Beyond that, I have no comment." She has no comment for virtually every question anyone thinks to ask her.
But the one they skip over is one of the most telling; when she finishes a full day of canceling Tony's appointments, scheduling press conferences for everyone else, and seeing what of his usual work load she can pick up in his absence, Pepper goes home and looks at herself in the bathroom mirror for a long moment.
"Well, Miss Potts," she says, "what are you going to do if this is it?"
***
It's not just, as she would tell anyone with half a nose to ask, that she hates job hunting. Obadiah's a slightly different case, though, so she actually tries to explain her perspective on the matter to him.
"It's... Tony's all I have," she says. "My family's dead, I can't take time off enough to meet anyone else, as a friend or otherwise - I don't know if I'd know where to start, with the real world."
This far up the food chain, it's no secret that anything involving Tony Stark is at least somewhat removed from the real world. Present circumstances aside, reality only seems to touch him when he lets it.
"Well, I'm sure Stark could find a place for you, in the event that worse comes to worst," Obadiah says. "You're a woman of many talents, and we'd hate to lose you entirely. Still, the caliber of work you've been doing around here, you shouldn't have any trouble moving on."
There's something a bit odd in his phrasing, but Pepper can't really place what, so she lets it slide for the moment. "Maybe. I guess we'll see what happens."
He leaves her to her own devices in Tony's office - she's using it out of necessity, since he's got the files she needs to keep the company on its feet. After a few hours of work, she realizes what sounded so strange. Obadiah's already talking like this is over, and Tony's only been missing for three days.
***
It's a whole week before Pepper even thinks to go to Tony's house, and when she does think of it, she's mentally kicking herself the whole way there. Poor Jarvis is used to a hell of a lot more human interaction than zero, even if Tony's not the best human to interact with on a regular basis, and... well, a sentient computer program has as much right to know what's going on as anyone else entangled in this mess. What's more, with Colonel Rhodes still in Afghanistan, she's the only person around who would really know he was there to keep posted.
She almost pulls into the garage, but decides the press probably haven't staked out an apparently empty house; given that, she should be fine parking in the driveway. She lets herself in, almost regretting her decision to come by (the house is never this quiet) in the few seconds before Jarvis speaks up.
"Ah. Good morning, Miss Potts. Have you heard any news?"
"Wouldn't you know well before I did, Jarvis?"
"I only have the Internet to draw from. While that may sound like quite a bit, and in some ways it is, I highly doubt CNN or the BBC are getting daily updates from the search and rescue mission."
Pepper cracks a smile, at that. "I... guess this is true. Anyway, there's really nothing new to report. How have you been?"
"I cannot say I didn't appreciate the first few days of peace and quiet," Jarvis says, sounding just as unruffled as ever - not that Tony's programming would have left him with many options. "However, it's quickly becoming disconcerting."
"I can see that. And I'm sorry I didn't come over sooner, but I've been so busy trying to hold everything together--"
"You needn't apologize, Miss Potts. It's quite understandable, in light of the circumstances. That said, if there is anything in your readjusted work load with which I might be of assistance, you need only let me know."
"I'm fine for now, but I'll definitely keep that in mind. Thanks."
"You're welcome. And thank you, for dropping by."
"It's no trouble, Jarvis," Pepper says. "The Internet's a big place, but it's not people."
While she's there, she ends up cleaning out the refrigerator, before it has the opportunity to get any worse. The way things look right now, Tony could well come home to intelligent life in his kitchen, otherwise.
***
It's about the same amount of work as Pepper usually does for Tony, but it's a completely different kind of work. Instead of Tony's personal business, she's processing logistics paperwork for the entire plant, helping HR conduct interviews, and even talking at the odd press conference. The one thing she doesn't see much of is shipment paperwork; Obadiah usually handles that anyway, and he's the highest on the official chain of command, at the moment.
It keeps her very busy, but she doesn't mind. At a time like this, she'd rather be busy than take the time to dwell on things. Even so, she refuses to start a job hunt until there's conclusive proof Tony's not coming back alive.
Colonel Rhodes calls every few days to keep her posted. They both know it's only a token effort, since there's never anything new to report, but Pepper appreciates it nonetheless. She needs the flare of optimism, the proof that she's not the only one in the inner circle still hoping this will end well, especially as a month comes and goes with no sign of Tony and Obadiah starts talking about him in the past tense.
***
Aside from stopping by the house more often, as it's on her mind after the first time, Pepper does eventually take Jarvis up on his offer to help with all the paperwork. This is partly because the work load's exhausting in a way she's not used to. Running around Los Angeles all day doing errands for Tony, heels or no heels, is one thing; staring at a computer screen for hours on end is quite another.
"Perhaps you should take some time off," Jarvis suggests, at the end of a particularly grueling battery of logistics forms.
"Can't. If I stop, I'll think about it. If I think about it, I'll break down, and if I break down, there's no way I'll be able to start again." She's not sure what it is that's prompting her to be this honest with Jarvis - maybe the fact that he's guarding so many of Tony's secrets already, so it can't hurt to trust him with one of hers.
"Still, I believe you could do with some sort of rest period before you work yourself to such a point where you aren't useful. Even if all you were to do was take the rest of the evening off, it would serve you well."
"Take it off and do what? Sit around and mope? Get drunk?"
"If you wish to opt for the latter, you know where Mr. Stark's alcohol collection is as well as I do. I rather doubt he would mind, if he were here to comment, and I can ensure nothing untoward happens to you in the meantime." If a computer could smirk, Pepper's sure Jarvis would be doing so right now.
"Put it like that, it's a tempting offer. And you're probably right that I need to stop, I'm just... bad at actually doing it."
"I have noticed that over the years, yes." There's a slight pause, almost awkward, before Jarvis adds, "Miss Potts, might I ask you a question?"
"Sure, go ahead."
"Official statements to the press aside, what do you think Mr. Stark's odds of survival are?"
Pepper thinks about it for a few moments, then sighs. "Truth be told, he's more valuable alive, no matter who's got him. If the people who kidnapped him know that, he'll probably survive, as long as they don't kill him over whatever it is they want."
"He does have a way of escaping insurmountable odds. Thank you."
"You're welcome," Pepper says, though it takes her a moment to realize exactly what Jarvis is thanking her for - his question was one he couldn't possibly hope to find the answer to online.
She does end up staying there for the night, stopping at tipsy rather than drunk so she won't be crippled by the hangover. The next day is much easier to bear than the last week, even though she's onstage at another press conference, and that never does good things for her stress levels.
***
Not quite two months since Tony went missing, and now Pepper's got a Stark Foundation benefit to plan on top of everything else. She doesn't leave those up to other people - the one time she did ended in disaster - but she truly wishes she could, just this once. The last thing she needs after staring down Stark Industries forms is to sort out catering contracts and try to write invitations.
Ordinarily she sends an invitation to Tony, just for formality's sake, but she has no way of knowing if he's going to be alive for this one, let alone capable of putting in an appearance. If he is, she'll make sure he hears about it somehow.
Maybe she should look into a vacation, once this mess is resolved. On the other hand, if Tony comes back alive, he's probably going to bring a whole new can of worms back with him and waste no time in opening it. While the alternative would give her more time off than she knows what to do with, she... would really rather not even consider it.
At least the media frenzy has largely died down, at least for now. If it had carried on this long, she'd be snapping at reporters left, right and center.
***
On a Friday afternoon, about two and a half months since Tony went missing, Pepper storms into Tony's house and locks the door behind her.
"Is something the matter, Miss Potts?" Jarvis asks.
"I'm staying here this weekend. If anyone needs me, they can wait. The logistics paperwork is driving me crazy, the HR people aren't taking me seriously, never mind that I'm supposed to be their insight to Tony's opinion, Obadiah wants me to speak at another press conference next week, the band I booked for next month's benefit is backing out, and Tony's office computer ate half of what I did get done today."
"...I see. Does this mean you will not be accepting calls this weekend?"
"If it's Colonel Rhodes or a dire emergency, I'll talk to them. Anything short of that would probably be a bad idea."
"Very well. I will monitor incoming calls accordingly, should anyone try the land line. If you require any further assistance, you need only let me know."
Pepper smiles - barely, but it's more than she's been able to muster all week. "Thanks, Jarvis. I appreciate it."
She doesn't go without doing anything the entire weekend; doing absolutely nothing has never been one of her stronger points. There are emails she can send and forms she can fill out from Tony's house, and just doing it in a different building from Obadiah and his constant talking like Tony's dead helps more than she can say.
She does, however, resist the urge to go down to the garage. It would hurt too much, without Tony down there tinkering on something and blasting heavy metal so loudly she wonders how he can still think.
Oddly enough, what seems to help most out of the entire weekend is just talking to Jarvis. It gets Pepper wondering when she started seeing him as closer to a person than a computer program. She can only assume she got used to the idea over the years; she remembers being severely freaked out by the concept of a talking computer, never mind the reality of it, when Tony first floated the idea of building a butler into his house.
But Jarvis is nothing if not polite, even when he's being sarcastic. He knows the pitfalls of making sure Tony Stark doesn't self-destruct as well as anyone's ever going to. And he's an excellent listener, if the first to point out he's not always qualified to offer advice - though advice isn't really what Pepper's after, at the moment.
She's feeling much more capable of taking care of business, press conference and all, by Sunday evening.
***
Two and a half weeks after that, her phone rings in the middle of the night. It doesn't wake her up until the second ring, and then another couple go by as she fumbles for it and tries to read the display.
It's Colonel Rhodes; that wakes her up enough to answer. At this time of night, it's either very good or very bad news; either way, she can't let it go to her voicemail. "What happened?"
"We found him. He's alive, Pepper - little battered around the edges and a lot dehydrated, but he's alive."
"Oh, thank God."
"We're flying him home today, I think - once we get some water in him, he should be good to go. By the time we get there, it'll probably be a reasonable hour for you. Thought you'd want to know so you can brace yourself."
"I appreciate it. Let me know when you're on your way in and I'll be there."
"Will do. Go ahead and get back to sleep."
She can't get back to sleep right away, of course, but she doesn't mind. Sure, she won't get the down time she so desperately needs, but she'll be shifting back to something closer to her usual job description.
And more to the point, she won't have to go job hunting after all.
We have no choice but to carry on
Pepper's phone goes off while she's at dinner - it's on vibrate, but it's sitting on enough in her purse that she can still hear it. She forces herself to let it bump to the voicemail; it's her birthday, after all, and anyone who would be calling her at this time knows that. If it's really important, they'll call her again.
Five minutes later, her phone goes off again. By then, she's on to dessert, so she lets it go, but makes a mental note to call whoever it is back when she leaves the restaurant.
The vague sinking feeling that started building the second time her phone rang intensifies when she leaves and checks her missed calls. Both calls were from Colonel Rhodes, and he definitely wouldn't interrupt the one evening a year she lets herself take off if it weren't something big. She almost doesn't want to find out, but she calls him back anyway.
"Pepper, finally. Did you listen to your messages before you called, or not?"
"I just left dinner," she says, opening her car with her free hand. "Jim, what's going on?"
"The convoy got attacked. I have no idea what happened to Tony, other than - no one found him, and the area's a bit of an insurgent hotbed, so he's probably still alive somewhere."
"He wasn't - he wasn't with you?"
"No. Damn fool insisted on getting in a different Humvee. Anyway, I'm gonna stay over here and help with the search and rescue effort. I just thought you needed to know - I don't know if the media's got their claws in this one yet. Brace yourself."
"God. I... thanks. Let me know if there's anything I can do."
"Pepper, you're gonna be busy enough holding down the fort. We'll take care of everything over here."
He hangs up not long after that; Pepper just stares at her phone until the backlight goes off. After that, it takes her a few minutes to move past the shock enough to drive back to her apartment. She doesn't know how well she's likely to sleep tonight.
***
The next day, all she wants to do is stay home and be in shock, but that's not an option. The news finally broke overnight, at least the part where Tony's missing and presumed kidnapped, and the press is hankering for any comment they can get from anyone, including (for some damn reason) Pepper. That woman from Vanity Fair seems particularly catty - or maybe it's concerned, one can never tell with Tony's cast-off conquests - when she asks about the odds that Tony's dead and no one knows it yet.
"Right now, we don't really know what those odds are," Pepper says. "Beyond that, I have no comment." She has no comment for virtually every question anyone thinks to ask her.
But the one they skip over is one of the most telling; when she finishes a full day of canceling Tony's appointments, scheduling press conferences for everyone else, and seeing what of his usual work load she can pick up in his absence, Pepper goes home and looks at herself in the bathroom mirror for a long moment.
"Well, Miss Potts," she says, "what are you going to do if this is it?"
***
It's not just, as she would tell anyone with half a nose to ask, that she hates job hunting. Obadiah's a slightly different case, though, so she actually tries to explain her perspective on the matter to him.
"It's... Tony's all I have," she says. "My family's dead, I can't take time off enough to meet anyone else, as a friend or otherwise - I don't know if I'd know where to start, with the real world."
This far up the food chain, it's no secret that anything involving Tony Stark is at least somewhat removed from the real world. Present circumstances aside, reality only seems to touch him when he lets it.
"Well, I'm sure Stark could find a place for you, in the event that worse comes to worst," Obadiah says. "You're a woman of many talents, and we'd hate to lose you entirely. Still, the caliber of work you've been doing around here, you shouldn't have any trouble moving on."
There's something a bit odd in his phrasing, but Pepper can't really place what, so she lets it slide for the moment. "Maybe. I guess we'll see what happens."
He leaves her to her own devices in Tony's office - she's using it out of necessity, since he's got the files she needs to keep the company on its feet. After a few hours of work, she realizes what sounded so strange. Obadiah's already talking like this is over, and Tony's only been missing for three days.
***
It's a whole week before Pepper even thinks to go to Tony's house, and when she does think of it, she's mentally kicking herself the whole way there. Poor Jarvis is used to a hell of a lot more human interaction than zero, even if Tony's not the best human to interact with on a regular basis, and... well, a sentient computer program has as much right to know what's going on as anyone else entangled in this mess. What's more, with Colonel Rhodes still in Afghanistan, she's the only person around who would really know he was there to keep posted.
She almost pulls into the garage, but decides the press probably haven't staked out an apparently empty house; given that, she should be fine parking in the driveway. She lets herself in, almost regretting her decision to come by (the house is never this quiet) in the few seconds before Jarvis speaks up.
"Ah. Good morning, Miss Potts. Have you heard any news?"
"Wouldn't you know well before I did, Jarvis?"
"I only have the Internet to draw from. While that may sound like quite a bit, and in some ways it is, I highly doubt CNN or the BBC are getting daily updates from the search and rescue mission."
Pepper cracks a smile, at that. "I... guess this is true. Anyway, there's really nothing new to report. How have you been?"
"I cannot say I didn't appreciate the first few days of peace and quiet," Jarvis says, sounding just as unruffled as ever - not that Tony's programming would have left him with many options. "However, it's quickly becoming disconcerting."
"I can see that. And I'm sorry I didn't come over sooner, but I've been so busy trying to hold everything together--"
"You needn't apologize, Miss Potts. It's quite understandable, in light of the circumstances. That said, if there is anything in your readjusted work load with which I might be of assistance, you need only let me know."
"I'm fine for now, but I'll definitely keep that in mind. Thanks."
"You're welcome. And thank you, for dropping by."
"It's no trouble, Jarvis," Pepper says. "The Internet's a big place, but it's not people."
While she's there, she ends up cleaning out the refrigerator, before it has the opportunity to get any worse. The way things look right now, Tony could well come home to intelligent life in his kitchen, otherwise.
***
It's about the same amount of work as Pepper usually does for Tony, but it's a completely different kind of work. Instead of Tony's personal business, she's processing logistics paperwork for the entire plant, helping HR conduct interviews, and even talking at the odd press conference. The one thing she doesn't see much of is shipment paperwork; Obadiah usually handles that anyway, and he's the highest on the official chain of command, at the moment.
It keeps her very busy, but she doesn't mind. At a time like this, she'd rather be busy than take the time to dwell on things. Even so, she refuses to start a job hunt until there's conclusive proof Tony's not coming back alive.
Colonel Rhodes calls every few days to keep her posted. They both know it's only a token effort, since there's never anything new to report, but Pepper appreciates it nonetheless. She needs the flare of optimism, the proof that she's not the only one in the inner circle still hoping this will end well, especially as a month comes and goes with no sign of Tony and Obadiah starts talking about him in the past tense.
***
Aside from stopping by the house more often, as it's on her mind after the first time, Pepper does eventually take Jarvis up on his offer to help with all the paperwork. This is partly because the work load's exhausting in a way she's not used to. Running around Los Angeles all day doing errands for Tony, heels or no heels, is one thing; staring at a computer screen for hours on end is quite another.
"Perhaps you should take some time off," Jarvis suggests, at the end of a particularly grueling battery of logistics forms.
"Can't. If I stop, I'll think about it. If I think about it, I'll break down, and if I break down, there's no way I'll be able to start again." She's not sure what it is that's prompting her to be this honest with Jarvis - maybe the fact that he's guarding so many of Tony's secrets already, so it can't hurt to trust him with one of hers.
"Still, I believe you could do with some sort of rest period before you work yourself to such a point where you aren't useful. Even if all you were to do was take the rest of the evening off, it would serve you well."
"Take it off and do what? Sit around and mope? Get drunk?"
"If you wish to opt for the latter, you know where Mr. Stark's alcohol collection is as well as I do. I rather doubt he would mind, if he were here to comment, and I can ensure nothing untoward happens to you in the meantime." If a computer could smirk, Pepper's sure Jarvis would be doing so right now.
"Put it like that, it's a tempting offer. And you're probably right that I need to stop, I'm just... bad at actually doing it."
"I have noticed that over the years, yes." There's a slight pause, almost awkward, before Jarvis adds, "Miss Potts, might I ask you a question?"
"Sure, go ahead."
"Official statements to the press aside, what do you think Mr. Stark's odds of survival are?"
Pepper thinks about it for a few moments, then sighs. "Truth be told, he's more valuable alive, no matter who's got him. If the people who kidnapped him know that, he'll probably survive, as long as they don't kill him over whatever it is they want."
"He does have a way of escaping insurmountable odds. Thank you."
"You're welcome," Pepper says, though it takes her a moment to realize exactly what Jarvis is thanking her for - his question was one he couldn't possibly hope to find the answer to online.
She does end up staying there for the night, stopping at tipsy rather than drunk so she won't be crippled by the hangover. The next day is much easier to bear than the last week, even though she's onstage at another press conference, and that never does good things for her stress levels.
***
Not quite two months since Tony went missing, and now Pepper's got a Stark Foundation benefit to plan on top of everything else. She doesn't leave those up to other people - the one time she did ended in disaster - but she truly wishes she could, just this once. The last thing she needs after staring down Stark Industries forms is to sort out catering contracts and try to write invitations.
Ordinarily she sends an invitation to Tony, just for formality's sake, but she has no way of knowing if he's going to be alive for this one, let alone capable of putting in an appearance. If he is, she'll make sure he hears about it somehow.
Maybe she should look into a vacation, once this mess is resolved. On the other hand, if Tony comes back alive, he's probably going to bring a whole new can of worms back with him and waste no time in opening it. While the alternative would give her more time off than she knows what to do with, she... would really rather not even consider it.
At least the media frenzy has largely died down, at least for now. If it had carried on this long, she'd be snapping at reporters left, right and center.
***
On a Friday afternoon, about two and a half months since Tony went missing, Pepper storms into Tony's house and locks the door behind her.
"Is something the matter, Miss Potts?" Jarvis asks.
"I'm staying here this weekend. If anyone needs me, they can wait. The logistics paperwork is driving me crazy, the HR people aren't taking me seriously, never mind that I'm supposed to be their insight to Tony's opinion, Obadiah wants me to speak at another press conference next week, the band I booked for next month's benefit is backing out, and Tony's office computer ate half of what I did get done today."
"...I see. Does this mean you will not be accepting calls this weekend?"
"If it's Colonel Rhodes or a dire emergency, I'll talk to them. Anything short of that would probably be a bad idea."
"Very well. I will monitor incoming calls accordingly, should anyone try the land line. If you require any further assistance, you need only let me know."
Pepper smiles - barely, but it's more than she's been able to muster all week. "Thanks, Jarvis. I appreciate it."
She doesn't go without doing anything the entire weekend; doing absolutely nothing has never been one of her stronger points. There are emails she can send and forms she can fill out from Tony's house, and just doing it in a different building from Obadiah and his constant talking like Tony's dead helps more than she can say.
She does, however, resist the urge to go down to the garage. It would hurt too much, without Tony down there tinkering on something and blasting heavy metal so loudly she wonders how he can still think.
Oddly enough, what seems to help most out of the entire weekend is just talking to Jarvis. It gets Pepper wondering when she started seeing him as closer to a person than a computer program. She can only assume she got used to the idea over the years; she remembers being severely freaked out by the concept of a talking computer, never mind the reality of it, when Tony first floated the idea of building a butler into his house.
But Jarvis is nothing if not polite, even when he's being sarcastic. He knows the pitfalls of making sure Tony Stark doesn't self-destruct as well as anyone's ever going to. And he's an excellent listener, if the first to point out he's not always qualified to offer advice - though advice isn't really what Pepper's after, at the moment.
She's feeling much more capable of taking care of business, press conference and all, by Sunday evening.
***
Two and a half weeks after that, her phone rings in the middle of the night. It doesn't wake her up until the second ring, and then another couple go by as she fumbles for it and tries to read the display.
It's Colonel Rhodes; that wakes her up enough to answer. At this time of night, it's either very good or very bad news; either way, she can't let it go to her voicemail. "What happened?"
"We found him. He's alive, Pepper - little battered around the edges and a lot dehydrated, but he's alive."
"Oh, thank God."
"We're flying him home today, I think - once we get some water in him, he should be good to go. By the time we get there, it'll probably be a reasonable hour for you. Thought you'd want to know so you can brace yourself."
"I appreciate it. Let me know when you're on your way in and I'll be there."
"Will do. Go ahead and get back to sleep."
She can't get back to sleep right away, of course, but she doesn't mind. Sure, she won't get the down time she so desperately needs, but she'll be shifting back to something closer to her usual job description.
And more to the point, she won't have to go job hunting after all.