i am folded and unfolded and unfolding

[stockholmmilk]

every so often, i get in these moods where i feel like all i really want is to go about my everyday life completely unnoticed, without any sort of acknowledgment from anyone- i just don’t want to feel like others are aware that i am around, alive, exist, etc, and as a result from this, i instantly make myself as busy as possible. i think i do this

Comments

[fairseason]

those cupcakes look absolutely delish!

i think i know what you mean about the mood thing.
that happens to me every so often.
i guess i'm lucky to have friends who understand my mood swings if it happens when they're around and they don't take it personally, at least i think that they don't.

since i've moved away from everyone i've ever known, i'm lonely almost every hour of every day, besides the people i live with.
it's weird though because i like it most of the time, but there are some days where it can get intolerable.

i hope you have a good time visiting your friend!

[stockholmmilk]

thanks kaye, you're the nicest.

nice to know someone else relates.

[yeshailey]

the part about withdrawing yourself and not wanting to be seen is exactly the way i am lately because of my anxiety. i feel like such a loser. like the biggest flake ever and that makes me feel like shit but i don't feel safe around anybody.

[stockholmmilk]

i think that is the reason why i don't like being around others very much, i never feel safe with anyone, i've always been so uncomfortable with people its disgusting. i feel disgusting.

[yeshailey]

i JUST posted a giant entry on my feelings on this. it's something i've been caught up in thinking about all day, feeling like such shit about it.

[stockholmmilk]

i just read your post and i never thought anyone else feel the same exact way i do, you've explained it way better than i could ever have. i just don't understand how i can ever safe around anyone, as much as i want to or try to, it's so hard.

[corpusduo]

i hate being noticed. and that's what freaks me out

[stockholmmilk]

i notice you and i think you are the greatest hannah

[corpusduo]

FREAKING OUT NOW. jk. i love you you're great.

[killanxiety]

ohh i don't have much time so i just quickly tried to read everything, and i can't think of anything useful to say right now except that i think someone once recommended me to read "the perks of being a wall flower" haha
i still need to buy it though

[stockholmmilk]

it was recommended to me several times, never really thought i'd like it in til i actually got it, now i love it, more so than i ever thought. now i don't want it to end, such a great book. i say go for it and get it asap!

[pissedashley]

"often i get in these moods where i feel like all i truly want is to go about my everyday life completely unnoticed, without any sort of acknowledgment from anyone. i don’t want feel like others are aware that i am around."

this is me all the time

[stockholmmilk]

:(

[pissedashley]

I actually prefer it

I go to work
and come home
if I go out
I go out to blockbuster or to get food.

I feel safer?

lately, any time I actually go out somewhere
I get into weird situations and this is my way of avoiding them

it works

[stockholmmilk]

sounds like my everyday. i usually work, come home and if i ever go out it's always for something i really need but this is always done by myself. i feel safe and not so venerable, so i definitely perfer doing things alone but sometimes it frustrates me because i just would like to feel like a normal person and not have all these things in the back of my head. i am constantly anxious where ever i am, its this constant fear everywhere i go, of feeling so unsafe and judged. it's annoying to be so stressed out about it, i know its irrational but to me it feels so real. i don't ever feel like i will ever reach a point where i feel fully safe.