Down

[stockinged_one]

As of the 29th of this month, I will have been back to work for a year and now more than ever, I've been getting really down about not being at home. Long post under the cut.

Comments

[stockinged_one]

Your "Darcy Cares" made me smile. :)

Thanks for the support and you've hit the nail on the head. My children are probably fine -- for example, my daughter didn't have enough of me even when I was home -- but I'm missing them. I don't like rushing and missing out on things and I enjoy watching them learn and grow. It's interesting to me -- I've read how some women (and men) find life at home boring but I didn't.

I just talked to a co-worker and I think I may ask to be part-time. The reality is, I'm not focussed during my 8 hours and I could certainly get done what I do now in less time. If I knew I could leave early to get supper ready or do groceries or run errands or pick up my children early, if I could come in a bit later so that the children could take their time waking up, I would be happier.

I think I'm going to have to change things soon. I will keep you posted.

[angechrissy]

I hope that you can find some balance in the end. It appears to me that you feel responsible for the family's finance because C is unhappy with his job. I bet that C feels the same, too, knowing that you would rather staying at home. I hope that eventually everything works out. And try to stress out too much! :)

[stockinged_one]

C.'s not terribly unhappy with the actual job, just the politics around it. I'm not sure it would be wise (in terms of my future) to quit entirely or even leave for one more year, but part-time may strike the right balance.

Thanks for your good wishes!

[n_e_star]

I hope you can find a way to work it out.

[stockinged_one]

Thank you. I'm trying to figure it out... writing it all out helps.

[anony_2]

Oh, I so feel your angst, Tracey. As you know, I was right where you are now 1 1/2 years ago. I think what you're feeling, all of it, is completely natural.

The only caveat to the part time thing (which is a great solution for working moms, hours-wise) is that I think the cut in my salary is why we are now struggling so much. :(

[stockinged_one]

Yes, I remember you going through all of this. There's also the possibility that we may actually move to another town nearer C.'s family if a job presents itself. I'd be completely open to that too.

We do alredy know we survived without my salary for four years, and in that time, we also paid a lot for Jackson's therapies. I have a frugal Scot heritage. :)

So even if Chris and I take pay cut, I still have a salary... we probably wouldn't have any net gain what with child care and parking, but we'd be happier.

[maria_gr]

Perhaps you should try a part-time job and see how that goes. I believe it will get better when both Jackson and Maria are in school. They'll both have a set daily schedule and they'll be used to spending less time with mom.

I wish I could tell you how I felt as a child of working parents, but my situation was similar to fiorelina's.

[stockinged_one]

It's funny. As I reflect on my siblings, either they or their partner was in the teaching profession so it wasn't a huge issue in their situations either. Not that teacher's don't do a hell of a lot of work, just that the schedules fits with their children, obviously.

I'm just waiting to talk to Human Resources to see what my options are. Working for the federal government allows me a lot of flexibility. I just hope my direct manager will okay it without too much discomfort. I'd rather reduce my hours amicably.

[cincan19]

I'm the product of two working parents, although it wasn't too bad, because my mom worked for the school board and had all our holidays and the summers off. I never felt deprived of a parent. And we were fortunate that Derf was out of a job right after Jon was born, because he stayed home for 11 months and looked after the baby.

But I always regretted and resented that I was the one who had to go to work every day. I wish I could have stayed home while Jon was young, although I don't think he suffered.

So I say do what you need to do for yourself. Then you won't be kicking yourself years later.

[stockinged_one]

As I mentioned commenting above, my siblings' experiences all involve one of them being teachers and that profession, obviously, works well with a child's schedule.

I'm regretting this year, though it had to be done in order to keep my top up from my original maternity leave (which was a sizeable amount). Now... I just need to talk with my HR people and they are hard to snag.

Working for the federal government allows for quite a bit of flexibility, but I want to know all the options before approaching my direct manager.