Would You Rather Have Nothing?
Dorian leant toward him and brushed his lips against Basil’s.
Dorian tasted so good, so sweet, so innocent. Basil tasted heaven in that moment. Everything he had ever wanted to touch lay a fraction of a moment beneath his hesitant and yet eager fingers. This was what he wanted.
The man, the boy, drew away.
It had been too short. He needed to taste that taste again, he needed to feel that sense of danger and desire burning bright as it had. He did not need the faded residue of that sensation which clung desperately to his sizzling skin.
Dorian was pushing him down then, pushing him to the floor. He submitted, obediently falling to his knees.
He knew what was coming. He knew what he wanted, what they both wanted. He would do it because he wanted to, because he needed to. Everything in him hungered for his. He would do it even though he knew what would happen after, what always happened after.
This time was no different.
The man, the boy, he loved would walk away from him - just as he always did.
It hurt every time, it burned, it was a betrayal of everything Basil gave him, and kept giving him.
And yet, he would do it again, he was doing it again at this very moment, because he loved him.
He did it over and over because something was better than nothing.
He needed something.
With nothing he could not survive.
The fact that this man was his, even if just for a moment, a small slim portion of time that faded rapidly both in reality and memory, was better than nothing.
Though, as he watched Dorian walk away, he couldn’t quite remember why.