curious about what happened?
everyone is sleeping except for me. actually, everyone is passed out except for me. what a night. where do i begin?
i waited for trey at the south park studio tonight. we agreed to meet there. i told everyone there what was going on, so that they wouldn't be alarmed. as soon as trey walked in, i came up behind him and chloroformed the fool down to the ground. he didn't even see me. jason helped me put him in the back of my truck and i headed home. jason met me there, along with dian, andy, mattt, eric, david hasselhoff, john stamos, george clooney, and a bunch of other fucktards we knew from college that followed us to LA.
jason bought a really skimpy man-thong at the sex store near here. purple sequins. it was a riot. the only problem we had was deciding who was going to put it on trey. so of course we made dian do it. it took him like 10 minutes to take all the clothes off of him, and put the thong on him. he was a pro. i had the living room decorated with gay streamers and cheesy 80's album covers tacked to the wall. dian yelled for us to come and help him get trey off the bed and onto the chair in the living room. when i saw him in that thong.. i could have died. it was the funniest fucking thing i think i have ever seen in my life. i knew then that the rest of the night would be humiliating for him.
we moved him to the chair and sat him down. andy brought some rope and we tied him good to the chair with his hands behind his back. eric brought the blindfold and tied it around trey's eyes. as soon as we had him set up, we shoved a bottle of ammonia under his nose and watched him freak out. journey was definitely being blasted when he woke up. the strobe lights were flickering. the strippers came in. we all cheered as they came in with their whips and rubber bras. it was a fantastic time watching trey get a lapdance from several women at a time while being blindfolded, tied to a chair, and wearing thong underwear. he had the nastiest boner and we were all taking pictures. i dont even think trey realized he was practically naked until they started touching him. it was funny because whenever he would begin to protest, the strippers worked harder and faster onto him. i think they even whispered into his ear a few times. we decided to be humane and take off the blindfold. that was an even bigger riot. he got a face full of titties, that's for sure.
after about an hour of torturing him on a chair, we untied him. not surprisingly, he kept the underwear on. that was much to mattt's dismay because he really wanted a turn wearing them. trey put the rest of his clothes back on, thank god. we all had a great time at my place with the loud 80's music and the potato chips. trey opened all of his useless novelty gifts. they'll probably be on his office desk and shelf next monday along with all the other crap.
it was dinner time and we all went to trey's favorite sushi restaurant/karaoke bar. we were the noisiest group in that smokey place. john stamos did about 9 saki bombs and we thought he was going to die. i arranged it so that the lady that worked there brought out a cake when it was time to sing to trey- which of course we left up to the one and only david hasselhoff. david got up onstage and sang a beautiful version of "when a man loves a woman" that would make aretha franklin cry. what can i say, the man has soul. it got a little obnoxious when he didn't leave the stage and insisted on singing christmas songs. oddly enough, the japanese workers loved him. go figure.
you'd have thought we would be done with strippers by now, but you are so wrong. we spent the rest of the night on sunset strip. jason swears he saw paris hilton dancing on a table inside another vacancy. i believe it. she's always guilty until proven innocent.. which never happens. you'd think her dad could afford to buy her a chastity belt.
anyway, trey got some pretty hot girls giving him special treatment tonight. i think they could smell the scent on him that he belonged to another woman. one of the strippers asked who the lucky girl was and when he said pamela anderson, her face went blank. it was hilarious. hasselhoff was cut off from drinking because he was getting rowdy. who the fuck let him drink?! i am going to kick someone's ass! i had to drive that son of a bitch home. david, i hope you're reading this. you left your wallet in my car. anyway, david was getting some hot action from the strippers too. usually boobie grabbing isn't acceptable at the strip bar, but for some reason david got away with it. we were all so mad at him. trey was called up to the pole for the ritual bachelor spankings. if i ever see trey being spanked again, it will be too soon.
ahaha and dian was totally hooking up with this nasty fat waitress that worked there. he didn't even pay any attention to the strippers. he was up her cooch all night. i told him he wasn't going to bring that fat fucking hog back to my house and he started whining about it. yeah fucking right, dian. i don't want that bitch anywhere near me unless she is bringing me booze. although many pictures were taken tonight, i am going to post a special one in honor or dian being such a fucking retard and passing out in my bed. i hope you got her number pal, because she is definitely not going to call you if she sees this picture. that is a pretty sweet ass, though. she might call me instead.
you gotta love that one, trey. and i hope your bachelor party went exceptionally well. it's hard to give your best friend a good present when he goes home to pamela fucking anderson every night. i wish you the very best in your marriage and i hope you don't have so much fun with the wifey that you forget about me. i love you, bitchtits.
i waited for trey at the south park studio tonight. we agreed to meet there. i told everyone there what was going on, so that they wouldn't be alarmed. as soon as trey walked in, i came up behind him and chloroformed the fool down to the ground. he didn't even see me. jason helped me put him in the back of my truck and i headed home. jason met me there, along with dian, andy, mattt, eric, david hasselhoff, john stamos, george clooney, and a bunch of other fucktards we knew from college that followed us to LA.
jason bought a really skimpy man-thong at the sex store near here. purple sequins. it was a riot. the only problem we had was deciding who was going to put it on trey. so of course we made dian do it. it took him like 10 minutes to take all the clothes off of him, and put the thong on him. he was a pro. i had the living room decorated with gay streamers and cheesy 80's album covers tacked to the wall. dian yelled for us to come and help him get trey off the bed and onto the chair in the living room. when i saw him in that thong.. i could have died. it was the funniest fucking thing i think i have ever seen in my life. i knew then that the rest of the night would be humiliating for him.
we moved him to the chair and sat him down. andy brought some rope and we tied him good to the chair with his hands behind his back. eric brought the blindfold and tied it around trey's eyes. as soon as we had him set up, we shoved a bottle of ammonia under his nose and watched him freak out. journey was definitely being blasted when he woke up. the strobe lights were flickering. the strippers came in. we all cheered as they came in with their whips and rubber bras. it was a fantastic time watching trey get a lapdance from several women at a time while being blindfolded, tied to a chair, and wearing thong underwear. he had the nastiest boner and we were all taking pictures. i dont even think trey realized he was practically naked until they started touching him. it was funny because whenever he would begin to protest, the strippers worked harder and faster onto him. i think they even whispered into his ear a few times. we decided to be humane and take off the blindfold. that was an even bigger riot. he got a face full of titties, that's for sure.
after about an hour of torturing him on a chair, we untied him. not surprisingly, he kept the underwear on. that was much to mattt's dismay because he really wanted a turn wearing them. trey put the rest of his clothes back on, thank god. we all had a great time at my place with the loud 80's music and the potato chips. trey opened all of his useless novelty gifts. they'll probably be on his office desk and shelf next monday along with all the other crap.
it was dinner time and we all went to trey's favorite sushi restaurant/karaoke bar. we were the noisiest group in that smokey place. john stamos did about 9 saki bombs and we thought he was going to die. i arranged it so that the lady that worked there brought out a cake when it was time to sing to trey- which of course we left up to the one and only david hasselhoff. david got up onstage and sang a beautiful version of "when a man loves a woman" that would make aretha franklin cry. what can i say, the man has soul. it got a little obnoxious when he didn't leave the stage and insisted on singing christmas songs. oddly enough, the japanese workers loved him. go figure.
you'd have thought we would be done with strippers by now, but you are so wrong. we spent the rest of the night on sunset strip. jason swears he saw paris hilton dancing on a table inside another vacancy. i believe it. she's always guilty until proven innocent.. which never happens. you'd think her dad could afford to buy her a chastity belt.
anyway, trey got some pretty hot girls giving him special treatment tonight. i think they could smell the scent on him that he belonged to another woman. one of the strippers asked who the lucky girl was and when he said pamela anderson, her face went blank. it was hilarious. hasselhoff was cut off from drinking because he was getting rowdy. who the fuck let him drink?! i am going to kick someone's ass! i had to drive that son of a bitch home. david, i hope you're reading this. you left your wallet in my car. anyway, david was getting some hot action from the strippers too. usually boobie grabbing isn't acceptable at the strip bar, but for some reason david got away with it. we were all so mad at him. trey was called up to the pole for the ritual bachelor spankings. if i ever see trey being spanked again, it will be too soon.
ahaha and dian was totally hooking up with this nasty fat waitress that worked there. he didn't even pay any attention to the strippers. he was up her cooch all night. i told him he wasn't going to bring that fat fucking hog back to my house and he started whining about it. yeah fucking right, dian. i don't want that bitch anywhere near me unless she is bringing me booze. although many pictures were taken tonight, i am going to post a special one in honor or dian being such a fucking retard and passing out in my bed. i hope you got her number pal, because she is definitely not going to call you if she sees this picture. that is a pretty sweet ass, though. she might call me instead.
you gotta love that one, trey. and i hope your bachelor party went exceptionally well. it's hard to give your best friend a good present when he goes home to pamela fucking anderson every night. i wish you the very best in your marriage and i hope you don't have so much fun with the wifey that you forget about me. i love you, bitchtits.