What I Want From Life...
I want a little house with a tin roof, surrounded by trees.
I want peace and quiet and a big, comfy chair I can curl up in sideways.
I want to look like the me I see when I close my eyes.
I want a covered porch big enough for a swing.
I want a willow tree and a rose bush.
I want a wood-burning fireplace.
I want a bathtub big enough for two.
I want to stand on that porch with a cup of coffee at one in the morning and watch the rain fall in the trees.
I want someone I love to walk up behind me, steal my coffee, and watch the rain with me.
I want to curl up in front of the fireplace in the evening with a cup of cocoa and be held.
I want to fall asleep at night and wake in the morning warm, with an arm around my waist and a heartbeat against my back.
I understand how someone can go mad from loneliness. Sometimes the craving for physical human contact can get so strong I feel I could die from it... like hunger. Or thirst. Other times, I imagine it's like the pain of a phantom limb; unable to be soothed because the pain is in a piece of me that is missing.
I want to find someone I can't live without and stay. Not because I need, not because we're compatible or alike, not even because I hunger for contact, but because, like a binary star system, we are the centers of each others' realities. Because the force that draws us together stabilizes everything around us.
Is that too much to ask?