(Untitled)

[stonyfaced]

A bloody vampire. I woke up as a bloody vampire. Complete with the blasted red lined cloak and the stupid shiny shoes and the sodding widows peak. I'm not just a vampire, I'm a traditional one. It's like whoever the hell's in charge of this thing asked me what I'd like to turn into the least

Comments

[spandexisyouth]

What is a traditional vampire?

[stonyfaced]

They're basically fancy, undead nobs. They sweep around with big billowing black cloaks and have a widow's peak. They're generally the ones who look straight out of the coffin.

[spandexisyouth]

A lot of that I do not understand, but I gather that you look very different.

[stonyfaced]

I'm sure you'll see it for yourself soon enough.

[bal_daisy]

Where's Uberwald?

[Clearly the most important question. Among the various ones she has.]

[stonyfaced]

It's...

[Uh.]

Well, I can't very well point it out to you on a map. It's the sort of place ruled more by tradition and tribes than any sort of government. People there live by tooth and claw, not the law.

[bal_daisy]

Oh.

So you didn't live there then.

[stonyfaced]

Nope. I lived in a place called Ankh-Morpork. A great big rotten city.

[ice_echani]

I am sure that the shiny shoes will not be a problem for long.

[taptap.]

And I do not doubt that your reaction factored into their decision.

[stonyfaced]

Not if I have anything to do about it.

And I'm sure it did, whoever they are. Bastards.

[ice_echani]

I expect you will deal with them with your usual efficiency.

[...TWITCH. oh god twitch at that insult. Yeah she's seen it dozens of times, but still... lots of pentaps, but she manages somehow not to break the pen.]

[stonyfaced]

If by efficiency, you mean swearing a lot, yes, I think I will.

[blue_shields]

A vampire. Wow.

[stonyfaced]

Yep. I suppose you've never seen one before?

[blue_shields]

Not to my knowledge, no.

[stonyfaced]

Huh. I'd have thought that most people would see at least one or two, but then again, no one here's seen trolls either.

have some barely recognizable handwriting

[beforerossum]

We have blood!

[stonyfaced]

Most people have b[SCRIBBLE. That word felt okay a few comments ago, but every time he writes it, it gets harder to write it. Oh hell.] blood. Who's this?

[beforerossum]

Genius. I meant at medical. We have a blood bank.

[stonyfaced]

Ah. You must have turned into a kid, eh? Your writing's looking a bit blocky.

I figured as much, but I figure that stuff ought to be saved for those who have a tendency of losing blood every few days. I'm going to see if I can make do with what's at the butcher's.