Johnny's Hard Winter
Written by liliths_child after reading something about Koyama being an otter and being unable to let it go. Somehow her and I get into a discussion about Kanjani8 being the seven dwarves (which is a story that liliths_child plans on writing at some point) and this was the result.
Does contain character death, but seeing how cracky this is it's hardly disturbing.
It had been a particularly hard winter, and it wasn’t over yet. Koyama strolled up the long path to the house as well as an otter could stroll in the snow. Or even at all.
He fixed his tie straight around his neck (no shirt collar - actually no shirt at all - just a tie done up a little too tight already) getting a clump of thick smooth fur caught up in the knot.
Koyama gazed up at the big house as he reached the door step. He stopped and stared nervously for a while before composing himself, knocking, spying the doorbell, wondering if it would be rude to ring now that he had already knocked, ringing it anyway, and stepping back a little only to slip off the icy step to fall flat on his arse in the snow.
The thump with which he landed caused the snow from around the guttering of the house to shake - Koyama closed his eyes and waited for the impact but none came. when he opened his eyes he saw nothing had fallen from the roof but the door had now opened and his friend was leaning on the frame with a smirk.
“Could you give me a hand?” he sheepishly asked as he reached out to his dark eyed comrade. The smirk grew quickly into a full blown laugh as he walked back into the house. Koyama puffed his embarrassed red cheeks in frustration and helped himself to his feet. When he reached the kitchen he saw his friend was waiting for him at the table.
“If you’ve finished rolling about in the snow like some kind of Nino jerk then shall we get a fucking move on?”
“Is everyone else here then Grumps?”
“Theyre out the back waiting. They got the boat ready ages ago, then Dopey went a bit spastic with excitement and broke it so they had to sort that out, then it was fine again, then - well it wasn’t my fault - Dopey was jumping about so I pushed him out of the way - long story short it broke again - then we fixed - I told them we should have left that weirdo out of it - but no, we had to bring him along - I put him in a box about half an hour ago so the boat should still be ok…”
He talked as he walked out of the back door into the garden. Koyama sighed, and with apprehension followed him out of the door to greet his other friends.
There were 5 other dwarf otters stood around a box looking slightly worried.
“Ah jeez. this isn’t good Grumps. you didn’t put in any air holes did you…” Koyama sighed as he approached. “Is he alright?”
“Look, Bash - he’ll be fine he’s just a little pale. Nothing new there.” came the reply in a dismissive nature.
“Grumpy!” Koyama scowled
“Don’t given name me like that, he’ll be alright.”
Koyama picked Taguchi out of the box with the help of the other dwarf otters. Taguchi was a really wobbly and light headed but he still tried to bounce to his seat in the row boat.
They each had their names painted neatly in red calligraphy on the planks that made up their seats (Yokoyama had been the one to do this, mainly as no-one could ever remember where they were supposed to sit)
from the front back, in three rows of two, the names read as follows:
Akanishi Sleepy, Nakamaru Sneezy (furthest away form any oars)
Ikuta Happy, Koyama Bashful
Yokoyama Doc , Nishikido Grumpy
Taguchi’s seat was in the middle of Akanishi and Nakamaru.
on the floor.
Under a blanket.
With a seat belt.
The belt had “Taguchi dopey” written in big easy to read letters (accompanied by smiley faces in black marker pen - no doubt a later addition from the idiot imself)
On the side of the boat, also painted in beautiful red calligraphy, was the slogan:
“7 otter dwarves - oh yeah!”
Not particularly poetic but it won the vote over Yokoyama’s haiku suggestion and Taguchi’s unrecognisable finger paintings.
They all made their way to their seats and made them selves ready for the set off. this involved Nakamaru checking he had enough tissues for his enormous sneezing fits, Akanishi checking he had tweeted how sleepy he was enough times to adequately convey to all his otter dwarf twitter followers just how sleepy he felt at that current moment, and Yokoyama checking that Taguchi wasn’t strapped in too snug as he was still going blue. Yokoyama shot a knowing look towards Nishikido as he loosened the belt a little, wondering how it could have gotten so uncomfortably tight.
The lake was still a little frozen around the edges, but only thin on the surface. The ice cracked as Yokoyama and Nishikido pushed the boat with the tattered oars through the glassy shell and began journey across the still calm water. Taguchi rested his chin on the edge of the boat and pulled his blanket around him as he repeated his favourite rowing song.
“Row row Nishikido gently down the stream
Yamapi Yamapi Yamapi Yamapi life is but a dream”
They all joined in singing merrily (apart from Nishikido who carried on rowing with a sore expression) as they reached the middle of the vast lake. They gradually slowed to a stop and drifted for a while.
“Ah this is nice.” smiled Ikuta with a warm voice.
“Forget nice, we’re here for a reason. Lets get on with it.” Nishikido snapped.
He gestured to Koyama. “Have you got everything you went out to get? You were gone long enough. You’d better not have forgotten anything.”
“Yeah, though I was so embarrassed getting all this stuff that I got each thing from a different shop. That’s why I was so long.”
Yokoyama patted him on the back as he took his bag from him.
“That was good thinking boy. No-one will trace all the things you bought very easily that way. Good lad.”
Koyama sat with his hands between his knees, smiled down to himself and bit his lip.
“Ok, lets sort this mess out then shall we?”
Yokoyama clapped his hands together waking up Akanishi who had passed out on top of Taguchi (going very blue by that point) and making Nakamaru sneeze in shock. The boat rocked a little but they steadied themselves quickly enough.
Yokoyama and Nishikido took all the contents out of Koyama’s bag and laid everything out on the floor of the boat. In the widest space between the middle seats was a large tied up duffle bag, stained and full to bursting. They set about their business, clearing up the mess Nishikido had made in a fit of anger. The provisions Koyama had bought were all effectively used up to weigh down and dispose of the body. Then the task was done, and the evidence had sunk to the bottom of the lake.
The 7 otter dwarves sat down and rested, looking thoughtfully into the water.
“It was nice to get out on the lake again don’t you think?” piped up Ikuta, always looking at things from a brighter perspective.
“Next time the three bears go on vacation, I’ll feed the damn fish.” Yokoyama sighed.
“Well what would you have done?” Nishikido protested. “Some cheeky little bitch coming in and stealing their food and messing up the beds and walking around like she owned the place.”
“She was their cleaner, Grumps! she was trying to make the beds.”
“I just, I saw the gold hair and saw the porridge out on the side, and I just - “
“You jumped to conclusions is what you did.”
Nishikido pouted and looked at the floor in a sulk.
“(I was looking out for my guys.)”
Koyama sighed as he looked back across the water shaking his head slowly. As he felt Yokoyama and Nishikido begin to row again he turned back round to see everyone's sad faces and quietly whisered, “poor Tegoshilocks.”
Does contain character death, but seeing how cracky this is it's hardly disturbing.
It had been a particularly hard winter, and it wasn’t over yet. Koyama strolled up the long path to the house as well as an otter could stroll in the snow. Or even at all.
He fixed his tie straight around his neck (no shirt collar - actually no shirt at all - just a tie done up a little too tight already) getting a clump of thick smooth fur caught up in the knot.
Koyama gazed up at the big house as he reached the door step. He stopped and stared nervously for a while before composing himself, knocking, spying the doorbell, wondering if it would be rude to ring now that he had already knocked, ringing it anyway, and stepping back a little only to slip off the icy step to fall flat on his arse in the snow.
The thump with which he landed caused the snow from around the guttering of the house to shake - Koyama closed his eyes and waited for the impact but none came. when he opened his eyes he saw nothing had fallen from the roof but the door had now opened and his friend was leaning on the frame with a smirk.
“Could you give me a hand?” he sheepishly asked as he reached out to his dark eyed comrade. The smirk grew quickly into a full blown laugh as he walked back into the house. Koyama puffed his embarrassed red cheeks in frustration and helped himself to his feet. When he reached the kitchen he saw his friend was waiting for him at the table.
“If you’ve finished rolling about in the snow like some kind of Nino jerk then shall we get a fucking move on?”
“Is everyone else here then Grumps?”
“Theyre out the back waiting. They got the boat ready ages ago, then Dopey went a bit spastic with excitement and broke it so they had to sort that out, then it was fine again, then - well it wasn’t my fault - Dopey was jumping about so I pushed him out of the way - long story short it broke again - then we fixed - I told them we should have left that weirdo out of it - but no, we had to bring him along - I put him in a box about half an hour ago so the boat should still be ok…”
He talked as he walked out of the back door into the garden. Koyama sighed, and with apprehension followed him out of the door to greet his other friends.
There were 5 other dwarf otters stood around a box looking slightly worried.
“Ah jeez. this isn’t good Grumps. you didn’t put in any air holes did you…” Koyama sighed as he approached. “Is he alright?”
“Look, Bash - he’ll be fine he’s just a little pale. Nothing new there.” came the reply in a dismissive nature.
“Grumpy!” Koyama scowled
“Don’t given name me like that, he’ll be alright.”
Koyama picked Taguchi out of the box with the help of the other dwarf otters. Taguchi was a really wobbly and light headed but he still tried to bounce to his seat in the row boat.
They each had their names painted neatly in red calligraphy on the planks that made up their seats (Yokoyama had been the one to do this, mainly as no-one could ever remember where they were supposed to sit)
from the front back, in three rows of two, the names read as follows:
Akanishi Sleepy, Nakamaru Sneezy (furthest away form any oars)
Ikuta Happy, Koyama Bashful
Yokoyama Doc , Nishikido Grumpy
Taguchi’s seat was in the middle of Akanishi and Nakamaru.
on the floor.
Under a blanket.
With a seat belt.
The belt had “Taguchi dopey” written in big easy to read letters (accompanied by smiley faces in black marker pen - no doubt a later addition from the idiot imself)
On the side of the boat, also painted in beautiful red calligraphy, was the slogan:
“7 otter dwarves - oh yeah!”
Not particularly poetic but it won the vote over Yokoyama’s haiku suggestion and Taguchi’s unrecognisable finger paintings.
They all made their way to their seats and made them selves ready for the set off. this involved Nakamaru checking he had enough tissues for his enormous sneezing fits, Akanishi checking he had tweeted how sleepy he was enough times to adequately convey to all his otter dwarf twitter followers just how sleepy he felt at that current moment, and Yokoyama checking that Taguchi wasn’t strapped in too snug as he was still going blue. Yokoyama shot a knowing look towards Nishikido as he loosened the belt a little, wondering how it could have gotten so uncomfortably tight.
The lake was still a little frozen around the edges, but only thin on the surface. The ice cracked as Yokoyama and Nishikido pushed the boat with the tattered oars through the glassy shell and began journey across the still calm water. Taguchi rested his chin on the edge of the boat and pulled his blanket around him as he repeated his favourite rowing song.
“Row row Nishikido gently down the stream
Yamapi Yamapi Yamapi Yamapi life is but a dream”
They all joined in singing merrily (apart from Nishikido who carried on rowing with a sore expression) as they reached the middle of the vast lake. They gradually slowed to a stop and drifted for a while.
“Ah this is nice.” smiled Ikuta with a warm voice.
“Forget nice, we’re here for a reason. Lets get on with it.” Nishikido snapped.
He gestured to Koyama. “Have you got everything you went out to get? You were gone long enough. You’d better not have forgotten anything.”
“Yeah, though I was so embarrassed getting all this stuff that I got each thing from a different shop. That’s why I was so long.”
Yokoyama patted him on the back as he took his bag from him.
“That was good thinking boy. No-one will trace all the things you bought very easily that way. Good lad.”
Koyama sat with his hands between his knees, smiled down to himself and bit his lip.
“Ok, lets sort this mess out then shall we?”
Yokoyama clapped his hands together waking up Akanishi who had passed out on top of Taguchi (going very blue by that point) and making Nakamaru sneeze in shock. The boat rocked a little but they steadied themselves quickly enough.
Yokoyama and Nishikido took all the contents out of Koyama’s bag and laid everything out on the floor of the boat. In the widest space between the middle seats was a large tied up duffle bag, stained and full to bursting. They set about their business, clearing up the mess Nishikido had made in a fit of anger. The provisions Koyama had bought were all effectively used up to weigh down and dispose of the body. Then the task was done, and the evidence had sunk to the bottom of the lake.
The 7 otter dwarves sat down and rested, looking thoughtfully into the water.
“It was nice to get out on the lake again don’t you think?” piped up Ikuta, always looking at things from a brighter perspective.
“Next time the three bears go on vacation, I’ll feed the damn fish.” Yokoyama sighed.
“Well what would you have done?” Nishikido protested. “Some cheeky little bitch coming in and stealing their food and messing up the beds and walking around like she owned the place.”
“She was their cleaner, Grumps! she was trying to make the beds.”
“I just, I saw the gold hair and saw the porridge out on the side, and I just - “
“You jumped to conclusions is what you did.”
Nishikido pouted and looked at the floor in a sulk.
“(I was looking out for my guys.)”
Koyama sighed as he looked back across the water shaking his head slowly. As he felt Yokoyama and Nishikido begin to row again he turned back round to see everyone's sad faces and quietly whisered, “poor Tegoshilocks.”