✽❀ GARDENTASTA ❀ ✽

[gayformaster]

Who: Everyone and anyone! Yes, everyone is invited!
What: The ❀ GARDENTASTA ❀! Aka, a giant costume party for everyone!
When: August 12th! Yes, this is being posted in advance.
Where: The gardens attached to the labs in the bottom of the ship!
Warnings: If any threads go above PG-13, please warn about this in the subject line! The basic party

Comments

nepeta leijon | open

[purrsona]

[WELL, Nepeta's primarily here to dance with Karkat, but she'll happily take anyone else, too! she's... admittedly not too great at it, but hey, you're guaranteed to have fun if you're with her.

unless you're Karkat. but then you never have fun anyway. :(]

Re: nepeta leijon | open

[nicrage]

[==> abscond
You cannot abscond! You have been BLACKMAILED into coming to this GARDENTASTA and absconding would surely mean Nepeta's BLACKMAIL MATERIAL on you would be exposed! That is simply UNACCEPTABLE.

==> Recall exactly what you are being blackmailed with.
No. It is too painful to remember. Past paradox you is such a complete grubtard. You wish he could choke on your own hate bile. Wherever he is.

==> Look at your life, look at your choices.
That's pretty much what you've been doing for the past five minutes! It is time to do something else.

==> Ask Nepeta to dance?
You have no choice. There is no getting out of this one. You must DANCE like you have NEVER DANCED BEFORE.]

Let's fucking get this over with before I vomit pure essence of hate all over your shoes.

[purrsona]

[this is the moment Nepeta's been waiting for the entire night-the adorable dance between the main couple after a movie's worth of shenanigans is a staple of romantic comedies! ...she's completely ignoring the fact that all she knows of romantic comedies stems from the couple of movies she'd crammed in the night before the dance. but hey, this is one role she's been wanting to play her whole life, and she's even dressed the part to boot; she's ready.]

Heehee, come on, Karkat! I purrmise it won't be that bad!

[nicrage]

[This is the moment Karkat has dreaded the entire night. The AWKWARD DANCE between an obviously flushcrushing troll and their victim-- I mean, their FLUSHCRUSHEE, is a staple of all humorous moments in romantic comedies. Karkat knows this because he has watched pretty much all romcoms in existence. The secondhand embarrassment is usually either hilarious or painful. Today, it is painful. He is not ready for this at all.]

Yeah, just two trolls dancing together when neither of them danced with an actual living partner before. Nothing horrifyingly painful about that at all. It'll be so fucking swell when we crash into unsuspecting humans and other aliens and then get laughed out of this place. I can barely contain the juices in my joy bladder. They are about to overflow.

[purrsona]

Awww, stop being such a grumpypuss! We're suppawsed to be having fun! You're getting aaaall worked up over nothing. It purrbably won't be nearly as bad as you think it will be!

[it probably will be.]

[nicrage]

No, you're supposed to be having fun. I'm the victim of fucking paradox shenanigans as usual.

[but he complies, because seriously. It is time to

FACE THE MUSIC. 8)]

[purrsona]

[and as soon as she hears the music begin, she perks up and quickly takes his hands in hers. NO TURNING BACK NOW.]

All right! I purrcticed extra hard fur this!

[nicrage]

Oh god.

[==> Proceed to accomplish an exceedingly accurate rendering of a TRADITIONAL ALTERNIAN BALLROOM DANCE

[purrsona]

[what Nepeta is imagining:

[nicrage]

[Zia ==> spend ten minutes staring at the beauty that is the previous tag, knowing you could never hope to match it in its glory. Weep tears as you shamelessly break the fourth wall and wish you could draw back to make this the best thread ever.

Okay you did all that now for Karkat.

==> WATCH OUT FOR THAT SUDDEN OBSTACLE
Wait what obstacle

oh you mean the sudden patch of slippery floooooOOOOOR AAAAGHWARGLESGJKDS]

FUCK

WHY IS GRAVITY AGAINST YOU?????]

[purrsona]

[since Nepeta is holding onto Karkat, gravity dictates that she goes down right along with him! THIS IS NOT WHAT SHE WANTS. THIS IS NOT WHAT SHE PLANNED. AND SHE'S JUST GOTTA SAY, SHE DOES NOT UNDERSTAAAAND-no this thread is stupid enough as it is already.]

Karkat what the hell?!

[nicrage]

[==> Become horribly acquainted with the floor as Nepeta falls on you in a classic romcom moment that would delight you if it wasn't happening to you.
Yeah that's pretty much what's happening. They're there. They made it happen.

Conversationally, what romcoms do not say is that ramming your head on the floor hurts like fuck, and no troll is delightfully light enough that cushioning their fall with your organs isn't horribly painful. WHO KNEW.

==> Arghbkgffdspfffffft
Yes.]

Arghbkgffdspfffffft...

[==> Get over it already.
Okay fine.]

Dancing... is like my life. It reminds me that I am a gentle fucking daffodil in an unforgiving universe that prides itself on composing my life entirely of nothing but pain. I hate everything.

[==> A bit melodramatic, but it'll do.
Thanks.]

[purrsona]

...

Is it too late to apawlogize?

[nicrage]

Yeah me slipping on the floor like a mentally deficient wriggler was definitely your entire fucking fault JUST GET OFF OF ME.

[yelling in people's faces is mean and terrible.

NO SHITS WERE GIVEN ABOUT THAT EITHER.]

[purrsona]

[she is about to oblige his request! after all, he is the leader-this has been drilled into her head many, many times, even if she made fun of him all of those aforementioned times.

but wait, she realizes! this is perhaps one of the MOST CLICHÉD ROMANTIC MOMENTS in all universes' definitions of romance. there is no way she can let this opportunity just pass her by. no. way.

though the strange green color her face is slowly turning might be misconstrued by a human as getting sick, Karkat should realize that is not the case at all.]

[nicrage]

[OH SHIT OH GOD OH SHIT OH GOD OH SHIT PLEASE LET THIS NOT BE HAPPENING PLEASE LET IT NOT BE HAPPENING

yeah he kinda did and in true Karkat fashion he is just staring wide eyed and horrified at the IMMINENT DISASTER]