Aftermath by aerye
Fraser/Kowalski, "stubble burn"
Thanks to justbreathe80 for quick and dirty beta.
Aftermath
Constable Taggart calls like Ray asked him to, saying Fraser is on his way, and Ray's gut bottoms out even as his heart starts beating furiously, loud enough that a deaf wolf could hear it, if one was around. He says thanks, hangs up and looks around, like maybe there’s something he should do before Fraser gets here, except there's nothing to do. Everything's been done, twice. He's had plenty of time since Fraser raced out the door a week ago.
It was a stupid argument. They were always stupid arguments. Part fear, part frustration, part anger that he took out on Fraser as the walls of the cabin seemed to close in around him, as he lost job after job and the weeks on his visa ran out. The more Fraser tried to understand, the more Ray pushed him away, until finally even Fraser's patience ran out.
Then they would fight, loud, angry fights that sent Dief under the bed and left them walking on eggshells around each other for days, until the resentment subsided and they settled back into routine, and the tension would start to build again.
But this time there'd been no time for that. A body had been found up on the Mackenzie Delta, the third in as many weeks. Fraser had gotten the call even as Ray was explaining at the top of his lungs that Fraser was a freak who believed in fucking fairy tales and Ray wasn't some fucking Fairy Princess. And two minutes later Fraser was packed and gone, Dief at his heels.
Leaving Ray with nothing but time on his hands. And his thoughts.
He hears Dief before he hears Fraser, Dief running up onto the porch and then in a circle, the way he does that means Fraser's supposed to hurry up, hurry up already. Ray gets to his feet. He hears Fraser's boots on the porch, and then the sound of the door opening, and then there's Fraser.
He looks cold. Wet. He doesn't come into the cabin, just stands there in the doorway, and for a minute Ray's afraid he's not going to come in. Then he turns to Dief and says something in Inuktitut, and although Dief whines for a moment, he heads back off into the woods, probably to hunt. Fraser closes the door behind him, although it another few seconds before he takes off his hat and turns to Ray.
Ray takes a step forward. "Fraser, I-"
"No." Fraser holds up his hand. "No, Ray."
And oh, god, that's the worst. This is the worst. Fraser's not going to let him apologize and he's finally pushed too far, too hard. He's finally pushed Fraser away for good.
Fraser sets his pack down and removes his hat. "I-I don't want to fight with you, Ray. Not anymore."
"Fraser, god, Fraser, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"
"That's not enough, Ray." Fraser sighs and set his hat aside, unbuttons his pea coat and hangs it on the hook by the door. His voice is determined but his shoulders are slumped, almost in defeat. "It's not enough if we're going to make it."
And there's a lump in Ray's throat the size of the Sears Tower but he stands there, waiting, until finally Fraser turns around and looks at him again. "This is not an easy place to live, Ray. Ours is not an easy relationship to nurture. The environment does not welcome us, and our fellow human beings will not welcome us, when they know what we are to each other. If we are to survive that," and here Fraser stops to take a deep breath, "if we are to survive the ice and the snow and the-the contempt-it will only be because we can depend on each other. Because we have chosen to be strong for each other. And Ray-"
And Fraser stops there and it breaks Ray's heart, because Fraser won't say it, won't say Ray hasn't been there for Fraser, even though it's true, even though it's been true in every way there is.
"Fraser. Fraser, I-" And he can't say anything, even though Fraser is letting him now, even though he's waiting silently for Ray to say something, anything. So Ray goes to him instead, and puts his arms around him, feeling the cold still clinging to him and the burn of Fraser's beard when he buries his face in Ray's neck.
"I need you, Ray," Fraser said, and Ray hears the part he doesn't say, I need you to be strong, and he answers it. "I will be, I will be, you'll see, Fraser. You'll see. We'll beat it all, Fraser. You and me, we'll beat it all-"
And the promises are kisses, covering Fraser's face, and Fraser's hands are on him, solid and rough and not asking. Ray gives in to them, lets Fraser strip him and manhandle him over to the bed. Fraser looks wild, his hair dark and wet and windblown, and there are shadows under his eyes and traces of dirt on his forehead and neck.
When Fraser kisses him, finally, it's as wild as he looks, mouth wide and hungry. Ray surrenders to it, opens his own mouth wide to welcome Fraser's tongue, shivering when he feels the bite of Fraser's teeth. Fraser drags his lips over Ray's face, pressing kisses into his brow, his cheeks, under his chin and over his neck, before finding Ray's mouth again.
"Ray, Ray-" Fraser begins but he breaks off to kiss him again and Ray moans with the force of Fraser's need.
"What?" he asks, when Fraser stops talking and just turns his face and rests his forehead against Ray's shoulder, his breathing fast and harsh. Ray winds his fingers through the hair at the nape of Fraser's neck. "What is it?" he asks again more gently, but Fraser just shakes his head and closes his eyes.
"Ah, Fraser." Ray draws him up into another kiss and they get lost in that again, until Fraser pulls away and shifts down on the bed, until he's lying next to Ray's legs, curled over his hips. Ray's having trouble breathing already but he still gasps when Fraser wraps his hand around Ray's dick and strokes. He's hard-he's been hard since Fraser put his arms around him at the door-but he gets harder, and he hears Fraser's murmur of approval when Fraser realizes how wet he is.
His legs fall open; he can't help it. He wants to surrender to Fraser and keep on surrendering, until there's nothing left he can give him. Fraser's beard is rough against his hip as Fraser kisses him there, and then again, and then again, and then Fraser’s sliding between his legs, lifting his knees and opening him up. It's-god, it's amazing, there's no other word for it, the sting of bristles against the tender skin of his thigh, and he's sobbing, he can hear himself, calling out to God and Fraser. His voice catches as Fraser's mouth takes him in, hot and wet and demanding, and he can't help but groan and shove his dick in deeper, twisting his hands in Fraser's hair.
Fraser works him without mercy, his hand joining his mouth and tongue, and Ray rides the edge of his orgasm, needing it, begging for it. He doesn't know how long Fraser keeps him there; every moment seems like it might be the last-except then it isn't and he's still desperate and aching.
And then he's there, he's there-oh, god, finally, finally-and Fraser's mouth is urgent and tight, and he swallows as Ray comes and comes and comes. Ray looks down as Fraser lets his dick slip free of his mouth, and Fraser is looking back at him, eyes still dark and savage, lips all blurred and wet, and Ray reaches for him even as Fraser climbs on top of Ray and takes his mouth again.
It's another hungry kiss, messy and wet and sharp with teeth, and then Fraser's fitting himself over Ray, driving into him, pushing the breath out of both of them with the way his body comes down onto Ray's. Ray doesn't care-he wraps his legs around Fraser and feels the tremor that runs through him, the way Fraser shudders and moans into Ray's mouth when his dick presses against the hard planes of Ray's belly. It makes him feel-god, powerful and strong, the way Fraser needs him to be, the way he needs to be for Fraser.
Fraser's groaning steadily now, a harsh, ragged sound that sends a thrill down Ray's spine. He's not kissing Ray anymore, completely focused on the tight fit of their bodies. His eyes are closed and then his head falls forward, his face red with effort-"Ray. Oh, god, Ray, Ray-" and his hips jerk as he finally comes all over the both of them.
Ray holds him as they both come down. It's been a long, hard week and he can see, now that some of the strain is gone from Fraser's face, that tiredness is taking its place. Fraser's been out on the trail for a week, and if Ray knows anything about him that means he hasn't had enough to eat or sleep since he left, especially not if he's been worrying about them. And god knows what else he's been through, what he found out there, what kind of danger he's been in.
Still, Fraser is fighting sleep. He's lying there, looking at Ray, and Ray gets that Fraser's trying to see inside him, to see if Ray really understands what Fraser was talking about before, and trying to decide if Ray is gonna be up to this. If Ray is tough enough. Stubborn enough. If they'll make it. It's nothing he can prove with words, though, he knows. No way he can prove it except doing it, and that'll take time. Still-
He meets Fraser's eyes and tries to look strong.
Tagging a new dS voice: debra_tabor, misunderstandings.
Thanks to justbreathe80 for quick and dirty beta.
Aftermath
Constable Taggart calls like Ray asked him to, saying Fraser is on his way, and Ray's gut bottoms out even as his heart starts beating furiously, loud enough that a deaf wolf could hear it, if one was around. He says thanks, hangs up and looks around, like maybe there’s something he should do before Fraser gets here, except there's nothing to do. Everything's been done, twice. He's had plenty of time since Fraser raced out the door a week ago.
It was a stupid argument. They were always stupid arguments. Part fear, part frustration, part anger that he took out on Fraser as the walls of the cabin seemed to close in around him, as he lost job after job and the weeks on his visa ran out. The more Fraser tried to understand, the more Ray pushed him away, until finally even Fraser's patience ran out.
Then they would fight, loud, angry fights that sent Dief under the bed and left them walking on eggshells around each other for days, until the resentment subsided and they settled back into routine, and the tension would start to build again.
But this time there'd been no time for that. A body had been found up on the Mackenzie Delta, the third in as many weeks. Fraser had gotten the call even as Ray was explaining at the top of his lungs that Fraser was a freak who believed in fucking fairy tales and Ray wasn't some fucking Fairy Princess. And two minutes later Fraser was packed and gone, Dief at his heels.
Leaving Ray with nothing but time on his hands. And his thoughts.
He hears Dief before he hears Fraser, Dief running up onto the porch and then in a circle, the way he does that means Fraser's supposed to hurry up, hurry up already. Ray gets to his feet. He hears Fraser's boots on the porch, and then the sound of the door opening, and then there's Fraser.
He looks cold. Wet. He doesn't come into the cabin, just stands there in the doorway, and for a minute Ray's afraid he's not going to come in. Then he turns to Dief and says something in Inuktitut, and although Dief whines for a moment, he heads back off into the woods, probably to hunt. Fraser closes the door behind him, although it another few seconds before he takes off his hat and turns to Ray.
Ray takes a step forward. "Fraser, I-"
"No." Fraser holds up his hand. "No, Ray."
And oh, god, that's the worst. This is the worst. Fraser's not going to let him apologize and he's finally pushed too far, too hard. He's finally pushed Fraser away for good.
Fraser sets his pack down and removes his hat. "I-I don't want to fight with you, Ray. Not anymore."
"Fraser, god, Fraser, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"
"That's not enough, Ray." Fraser sighs and set his hat aside, unbuttons his pea coat and hangs it on the hook by the door. His voice is determined but his shoulders are slumped, almost in defeat. "It's not enough if we're going to make it."
And there's a lump in Ray's throat the size of the Sears Tower but he stands there, waiting, until finally Fraser turns around and looks at him again. "This is not an easy place to live, Ray. Ours is not an easy relationship to nurture. The environment does not welcome us, and our fellow human beings will not welcome us, when they know what we are to each other. If we are to survive that," and here Fraser stops to take a deep breath, "if we are to survive the ice and the snow and the-the contempt-it will only be because we can depend on each other. Because we have chosen to be strong for each other. And Ray-"
And Fraser stops there and it breaks Ray's heart, because Fraser won't say it, won't say Ray hasn't been there for Fraser, even though it's true, even though it's been true in every way there is.
"Fraser. Fraser, I-" And he can't say anything, even though Fraser is letting him now, even though he's waiting silently for Ray to say something, anything. So Ray goes to him instead, and puts his arms around him, feeling the cold still clinging to him and the burn of Fraser's beard when he buries his face in Ray's neck.
"I need you, Ray," Fraser said, and Ray hears the part he doesn't say, I need you to be strong, and he answers it. "I will be, I will be, you'll see, Fraser. You'll see. We'll beat it all, Fraser. You and me, we'll beat it all-"
And the promises are kisses, covering Fraser's face, and Fraser's hands are on him, solid and rough and not asking. Ray gives in to them, lets Fraser strip him and manhandle him over to the bed. Fraser looks wild, his hair dark and wet and windblown, and there are shadows under his eyes and traces of dirt on his forehead and neck.
When Fraser kisses him, finally, it's as wild as he looks, mouth wide and hungry. Ray surrenders to it, opens his own mouth wide to welcome Fraser's tongue, shivering when he feels the bite of Fraser's teeth. Fraser drags his lips over Ray's face, pressing kisses into his brow, his cheeks, under his chin and over his neck, before finding Ray's mouth again.
"Ray, Ray-" Fraser begins but he breaks off to kiss him again and Ray moans with the force of Fraser's need.
"What?" he asks, when Fraser stops talking and just turns his face and rests his forehead against Ray's shoulder, his breathing fast and harsh. Ray winds his fingers through the hair at the nape of Fraser's neck. "What is it?" he asks again more gently, but Fraser just shakes his head and closes his eyes.
"Ah, Fraser." Ray draws him up into another kiss and they get lost in that again, until Fraser pulls away and shifts down on the bed, until he's lying next to Ray's legs, curled over his hips. Ray's having trouble breathing already but he still gasps when Fraser wraps his hand around Ray's dick and strokes. He's hard-he's been hard since Fraser put his arms around him at the door-but he gets harder, and he hears Fraser's murmur of approval when Fraser realizes how wet he is.
His legs fall open; he can't help it. He wants to surrender to Fraser and keep on surrendering, until there's nothing left he can give him. Fraser's beard is rough against his hip as Fraser kisses him there, and then again, and then again, and then Fraser’s sliding between his legs, lifting his knees and opening him up. It's-god, it's amazing, there's no other word for it, the sting of bristles against the tender skin of his thigh, and he's sobbing, he can hear himself, calling out to God and Fraser. His voice catches as Fraser's mouth takes him in, hot and wet and demanding, and he can't help but groan and shove his dick in deeper, twisting his hands in Fraser's hair.
Fraser works him without mercy, his hand joining his mouth and tongue, and Ray rides the edge of his orgasm, needing it, begging for it. He doesn't know how long Fraser keeps him there; every moment seems like it might be the last-except then it isn't and he's still desperate and aching.
And then he's there, he's there-oh, god, finally, finally-and Fraser's mouth is urgent and tight, and he swallows as Ray comes and comes and comes. Ray looks down as Fraser lets his dick slip free of his mouth, and Fraser is looking back at him, eyes still dark and savage, lips all blurred and wet, and Ray reaches for him even as Fraser climbs on top of Ray and takes his mouth again.
It's another hungry kiss, messy and wet and sharp with teeth, and then Fraser's fitting himself over Ray, driving into him, pushing the breath out of both of them with the way his body comes down onto Ray's. Ray doesn't care-he wraps his legs around Fraser and feels the tremor that runs through him, the way Fraser shudders and moans into Ray's mouth when his dick presses against the hard planes of Ray's belly. It makes him feel-god, powerful and strong, the way Fraser needs him to be, the way he needs to be for Fraser.
Fraser's groaning steadily now, a harsh, ragged sound that sends a thrill down Ray's spine. He's not kissing Ray anymore, completely focused on the tight fit of their bodies. His eyes are closed and then his head falls forward, his face red with effort-"Ray. Oh, god, Ray, Ray-" and his hips jerk as he finally comes all over the both of them.
Ray holds him as they both come down. It's been a long, hard week and he can see, now that some of the strain is gone from Fraser's face, that tiredness is taking its place. Fraser's been out on the trail for a week, and if Ray knows anything about him that means he hasn't had enough to eat or sleep since he left, especially not if he's been worrying about them. And god knows what else he's been through, what he found out there, what kind of danger he's been in.
Still, Fraser is fighting sleep. He's lying there, looking at Ray, and Ray gets that Fraser's trying to see inside him, to see if Ray really understands what Fraser was talking about before, and trying to decide if Ray is gonna be up to this. If Ray is tough enough. Stubborn enough. If they'll make it. It's nothing he can prove with words, though, he knows. No way he can prove it except doing it, and that'll take time. Still-
He meets Fraser's eyes and tries to look strong.
Tagging a new dS voice: debra_tabor, misunderstandings.