When two fandoms collide... badly
Where: Sweet
Fandom: Smallville
Title: Tree Hill
Author: Clana*Naley Lover
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Stu!Clark and Ho!Lana
Genre Being Beaten To Death: crack-fueled crossover
Had to throw in the background into... it's too amusing to leave out.
Background info: Lana is the top rated female basketball player in the state she lives in Smallville Clark is the top rated male basketball player in the state and lives in Tree Hill. and both live in the land where complete sentences don't exist Clark has no powers and he has a half brother Nathan there father is Johnathan and Martha is Clark's mom and Deb is Nathan's. Johnathan and Martha are divorced and he lives in California so it's just her and Clark. Clark and Nathan are bestfriends. Lana's parents are always out of town a never really home but she doesn't mind she's an only child. All the kids are seniors 18/17. They are the first generation of a genetic engineering Badfic Sues project. The next generation is juniors 16/15, etc. All the kids are rich in some way they are all drug traffickers, and have supplied the crack this author has been smoking (I made Tree Hill and Smallville in the same state no metor shower or anything like that has happened) and apparently no education in basic grammar and spelling has happened, either.
Other Charters Charters for what, documenting how bad this fic is? that will come in later
Haley James
Chloe Sullivan
Pete Ross
Lucas Roe
Peyton Sawyer
Brooke Davis
Jake Teauge
Here's chapter one if you like the story I'll contuine No, that's all right, really. You can stop now.
Chapter 1
Moving I really wish this chapter was moving. Right out of my line of vision.
Lana walked into her house after her week long basketball tornament to see almost everything gone It had packed up and run in fear from this fic.
"MOM!!!"
Lana's parents enter the livingroom When Lana calls for one, they respond as a collective unit.
"What's going on on?" "I don't know," On said. "What's going on with you?"
"Were moving"
"WHAT!"
"Were moving to Tree Hill all your things have already be sent there and set up were leaving tonight so you have one hour to say goodbye to all your friends" The mission, should you choose to accept it, is to spork this entire fic. Meanwhile, your brain cells will self-destruct in exactly 30 seconds.
Lana looks at her parents hoping to find some non-truth in what there saying meanwhile I look at this fic hoping to find some sense in it but fail miserably but she see's that there dead seious she sighs and fervently wished this typist knew fourth-grade grammar and spelling
"Fine"
Lana really didn't care that she was moving Smallville was only like 2hr away she could come and visit her friends anytime and besides Tree Hill had the top ranked guys team in the state and the second best girls team but now that she was here they'd be number one in the competition for most annoying and obnoxious Sue 4hrs later Lana was pulling up infront of her new home where sentence structure, punctuation, and spelling was still unheard of she got out of her blue Mustang and looked around the neighbor hood it was nice big houses on the block green grass she looked across the street to see a nice looking black escalade she looked at the licnece plate that read Kent23
"Nice"
*snip* Now we're in Clark's POV
He kisses his mothers cheek and goes outside he sees a blue mustang parked across the street the licence plate read Lang23
"Nice" ZOMG they have the same super-original license plates and grammatically unsound monosyllabic responses. They must be SOULMATES!
He gets in his escalade and drives off to the rivercourt
Lana's in her house talking to her mother gotta love these transitions
"Hey mom I'm going to drive around town off a cliff and see if I can put readers out of their misery already find a court"
"Alright thank Bob that godawful Sue is gone be home in time to meet the neighbors"
"Okay"
Lana goes outside to see the escalade gone she gets into her own car and turns up her completely unnecessary to the fic but ZOMG so hip and kewlies! music
Girl get comfortable we bout to do something you neva done before
Baby not the usual tonight we gettin unpredictable
So tryyy to roll wit me baby... baby
I'm a make you feel like you neva felt,
Girl all because you let me get unpredictable
Lana drives of blasting her music How do you drive of something? Is it like, dreaming of something, except while driving a car?
Song-Unpredictable -Jamie Foxxx Not to be confused with Jamie Foxx
Next
"Oh shit do yall know who that is" said the voice in the typist's head, since without any identifying detail what else are we supposed to think?
"Yeah a hotass girl" another one of those damn annoying Sues.
"Man that's Lana Lang top ranked female gawdawful Sue in the state fanfic world "
"That's Lana Lang?!" Yeah, that's what I thought, too. But there is no trace of canon in this story... just some OC who happens to bear the same name as the canon character.
"Wait I'm hot"
"Yes you are" No, you're not. Really.
*snip* Lana arrives at the basketball court. Clark and the One Tree Hill gang spot her.
Clark stops and turns to see the car that was parked across the street he then looks at the other end of the court and see's a girl taking jump shots and making everyone of them run screaming in terror
"Oh shit do yall know who that is" Not another goddamn Sue!
"Yeah a hot ass new Sue girl"
Tim replies
"Man that's Lana Lang top ranked female in the state" They rank females? Based on what? Isn't that chauvinistic?
"That's Lana Lang" Did we not just establish that?
Mouth says shocked
"Yep"
"She's hott" Not to be confused with hot
"Damn thats your neighbor" Yes, she's his neighbor. We established this several times in this fic.
Tim says
Clark contuines looking at Lana and responds
"Seems that way" You have seen this broad's car next door. She is *obviously* your neighbor, you dumb ass.
"Damn she can play"
Lucas says
"Yeah I think I'm going to go introduce my self" What's a self? Is that like an imaginary friend?
Clark says while walking toward Lana
"Ask her if she wanna play" teach us how to speak proper English. Wait, she doesn't know, either.
Lucas says
Clark just nods and makes his way over to Lana he stops infront of her she stops shooting and looks at him
"Hi I just wanted to introduce my self I'm-"
Lana cuts him off
"Clark Kent I know"
"Yeah how'd ya know?"
"Your the top ranked guy basketball player in the state" As opposed to a top ranked neutered basketball player in this state, but he will probably become one as the fic progresses
"Oh well welcome to Tree Hill"
"Thanks you didn't ask my name"
"Lana Lang"
"How'd you"
Clark reponds just as she did
"Your the top ranked girl basketball player in the state" *gasp!* She's the top ranked female b-ball player in the state? NO! *shocked face*
"Oh"
"So what brings you here?"
"Mom and dad The suethor thought it was time for a change to completely destroy the canon of two shows in one fic so here we are"
"Well if you need any help finding your way around I'm here"
Lana smiles
"Thanks"
"So my friends were wondering if you wanted to play with us"
"Sure"
They turn to see the guys staring at them they turn away when they see Clark and Lana looking they laugh at the Sue/Stu couple.
"Well that's very unobvious" But it's very obvious you can't spell.
"Yeah those your friends" says the voice in the suethor's head, seeing as they failed to identify who the hell is talking again
"Yeah the one in the red shorts that's Pete the one with blue shorts that's Lucas the one drooling over you is Tim the one in the bleachers thats Mouth and the dark haired one thats the one who might actually know what sentence structure is
"Nathan Kent your brother"
Clark looks at her puzzled why? She's a Sue! She sees all, knows all. DUH!
"You two are the most feared duo on the court in the fanfic world." Double the Sue/Stu overload!
**************
There's more--8 pages to be precise--but I just couldn't take it anymore. That this appears to be a popular much-read Clana fic makes the pain even worse. *OD's on bleeprin and dies*
Fandom: Smallville
Title: Tree Hill
Author: Clana*Naley Lover
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Stu!Clark and Ho!Lana
Genre Being Beaten To Death: crack-fueled crossover
Had to throw in the background into... it's too amusing to leave out.
Background info: Lana is the top rated female basketball player in the state she lives in Smallville Clark is the top rated male basketball player in the state and lives in Tree Hill. and both live in the land where complete sentences don't exist Clark has no powers and he has a half brother Nathan there father is Johnathan and Martha is Clark's mom and Deb is Nathan's. Johnathan and Martha are divorced and he lives in California so it's just her and Clark. Clark and Nathan are bestfriends. Lana's parents are always out of town a never really home but she doesn't mind she's an only child. All the kids are seniors 18/17. They are the first generation of a genetic engineering Badfic Sues project. The next generation is juniors 16/15, etc. All the kids are rich in some way they are all drug traffickers, and have supplied the crack this author has been smoking (I made Tree Hill and Smallville in the same state no metor shower or anything like that has happened) and apparently no education in basic grammar and spelling has happened, either.
Other Charters Charters for what, documenting how bad this fic is? that will come in later
Haley James
Chloe Sullivan
Pete Ross
Lucas Roe
Peyton Sawyer
Brooke Davis
Jake Teauge
Here's chapter one if you like the story I'll contuine No, that's all right, really. You can stop now.
Chapter 1
Moving I really wish this chapter was moving. Right out of my line of vision.
Lana walked into her house after her week long basketball tornament to see almost everything gone It had packed up and run in fear from this fic.
"MOM!!!"
Lana's parents enter the livingroom When Lana calls for one, they respond as a collective unit.
"What's going on on?" "I don't know," On said. "What's going on with you?"
"Were moving"
"WHAT!"
"Were moving to Tree Hill all your things have already be sent there and set up were leaving tonight so you have one hour to say goodbye to all your friends" The mission, should you choose to accept it, is to spork this entire fic. Meanwhile, your brain cells will self-destruct in exactly 30 seconds.
Lana looks at her parents hoping to find some non-truth in what there saying meanwhile I look at this fic hoping to find some sense in it but fail miserably but she see's that there dead seious she sighs and fervently wished this typist knew fourth-grade grammar and spelling
"Fine"
Lana really didn't care that she was moving Smallville was only like 2hr away she could come and visit her friends anytime and besides Tree Hill had the top ranked guys team in the state and the second best girls team but now that she was here they'd be number one in the competition for most annoying and obnoxious Sue 4hrs later Lana was pulling up infront of her new home where sentence structure, punctuation, and spelling was still unheard of she got out of her blue Mustang and looked around the neighbor hood it was nice big houses on the block green grass she looked across the street to see a nice looking black escalade she looked at the licnece plate that read Kent23
"Nice"
*snip* Now we're in Clark's POV
He kisses his mothers cheek and goes outside he sees a blue mustang parked across the street the licence plate read Lang23
"Nice" ZOMG they have the same super-original license plates and grammatically unsound monosyllabic responses. They must be SOULMATES!
He gets in his escalade and drives off to the rivercourt
Lana's in her house talking to her mother gotta love these transitions
"Hey mom I'm going to drive around town off a cliff and see if I can put readers out of their misery already find a court"
"Alright thank Bob that godawful Sue is gone be home in time to meet the neighbors"
"Okay"
Lana goes outside to see the escalade gone she gets into her own car and turns up her completely unnecessary to the fic but ZOMG so hip and kewlies! music
Girl get comfortable we bout to do something you neva done before
Baby not the usual tonight we gettin unpredictable
So tryyy to roll wit me baby... baby
I'm a make you feel like you neva felt,
Girl all because you let me get unpredictable
Lana drives of blasting her music How do you drive of something? Is it like, dreaming of something, except while driving a car?
Song-Unpredictable -Jamie Foxxx Not to be confused with Jamie Foxx
Next
"Oh shit do yall know who that is" said the voice in the typist's head, since without any identifying detail what else are we supposed to think?
"Yeah a hotass girl" another one of those damn annoying Sues.
"Man that's Lana Lang top ranked female gawdawful Sue in the state fanfic world "
"That's Lana Lang?!" Yeah, that's what I thought, too. But there is no trace of canon in this story... just some OC who happens to bear the same name as the canon character.
"Wait I'm hot"
"Yes you are" No, you're not. Really.
*snip* Lana arrives at the basketball court. Clark and the One Tree Hill gang spot her.
Clark stops and turns to see the car that was parked across the street he then looks at the other end of the court and see's a girl taking jump shots and making everyone of them run screaming in terror
"Oh shit do yall know who that is" Not another goddamn Sue!
"Yeah a hot ass new Sue girl"
Tim replies
"Man that's Lana Lang top ranked female in the state" They rank females? Based on what? Isn't that chauvinistic?
"That's Lana Lang" Did we not just establish that?
Mouth says shocked
"Yep"
"She's hott" Not to be confused with hot
"Damn thats your neighbor" Yes, she's his neighbor. We established this several times in this fic.
Tim says
Clark contuines looking at Lana and responds
"Seems that way" You have seen this broad's car next door. She is *obviously* your neighbor, you dumb ass.
"Damn she can play"
Lucas says
"Yeah I think I'm going to go introduce my self" What's a self? Is that like an imaginary friend?
Clark says while walking toward Lana
"Ask her if she wanna play" teach us how to speak proper English. Wait, she doesn't know, either.
Lucas says
Clark just nods and makes his way over to Lana he stops infront of her she stops shooting and looks at him
"Hi I just wanted to introduce my self I'm-"
Lana cuts him off
"Clark Kent I know"
"Yeah how'd ya know?"
"Your the top ranked guy basketball player in the state" As opposed to a top ranked neutered basketball player in this state, but he will probably become one as the fic progresses
"Oh well welcome to Tree Hill"
"Thanks you didn't ask my name"
"Lana Lang"
"How'd you"
Clark reponds just as she did
"Your the top ranked girl basketball player in the state" *gasp!* She's the top ranked female b-ball player in the state? NO! *shocked face*
"Oh"
"So what brings you here?"
"Mom and dad The suethor thought it was time for a change to completely destroy the canon of two shows in one fic so here we are"
"Well if you need any help finding your way around I'm here"
Lana smiles
"Thanks"
"So my friends were wondering if you wanted to play with us"
"Sure"
They turn to see the guys staring at them they turn away when they see Clark and Lana looking they laugh at the Sue/Stu couple.
"Well that's very unobvious" But it's very obvious you can't spell.
"Yeah those your friends" says the voice in the suethor's head, seeing as they failed to identify who the hell is talking again
"Yeah the one in the red shorts that's Pete the one with blue shorts that's Lucas the one drooling over you is Tim the one in the bleachers thats Mouth and the dark haired one thats the one who might actually know what sentence structure is
"Nathan Kent your brother"
Clark looks at her puzzled why? She's a Sue! She sees all, knows all. DUH!
"You two are the most feared duo on the court in the fanfic world." Double the Sue/Stu overload!
**************
There's more--8 pages to be precise--but I just couldn't take it anymore. That this appears to be a popular much-read Clana fic makes the pain even worse. *OD's on bleeprin and dies*