Fic: If you'll let me here's what I'll do (Unholy Trinity: Quinn, Brittana PG-13/R)
Title: If you’d let me, here’s what I’ll do
Characters: Brittany/Santana, Quinn (Brittany/Quinn/Santana)
Length: 6k.
Rating: PG-13/R-ish
Spoilers: 3x14 On My Way
Summary: She’s dimly aware of the part of her mind that registers that Quinn still isn’t at the chapel.
A/N: Shifting POVs. It just sort of worked out that way, sorry.
She taps her thumb against the keys and glances up at the road, but there’s no traffic in front of her so she’s got some time to send three words back before anyone could even notice she hasn’t got her eyes on the road. Rachel doesn’t have time, but Quinn needs her to find some, just needs her to wait five minutes and then she’ll be there and she can-
+
Santana’s standing next to Mr. Schue when his phone starts ringing and everyone’s eyes swing round to glare at him just as Finn trails off, wedding vows forgotten, and looks confused.
“Sorry,” Mr. Schue says, “I thought I turned that-“
Santana watches his face twist into confusion, and then he’s answering the phone and turning away from everyone else, trying to exclude them from his side of the conversation.
“When?” Santana hears in a hushed whisper, then “Where are they taking her?” and then she hears his breath catch as he nods and says, “I’ll tell them.”
Brittany glances sideways at her, silently asking if she knows what’s going on, and Santana feels her stomach twist, though she can’t really say why.
She’s dimly aware of the part of her mind that registers that Quinn still isn’t at the chapel.
There’s silence for a full five seconds before Mr. Schue turns back around, face pale, and says, “It’s Quinn. There’s been an accident,” and it feels like her world explodes.
+
Santana’s hand is in hers and tugging her towards the door before she even realises what’s happening, and she can hear the words echoing in the suddenly too silent chapel, even though earlier everything had just sounded kind of dead in here.
She doesn’t want things to sound dead.
Santana tugs again, and Brittany jerks into motion, catching up to her in two quick steps, and she sees the hardness in Santana’s eyes and the set of her jaw that means she’s trying not to cry, and then she feels her own tears on her cheeks and reaches her free hand up to wipe them away.
She feels numb, like she keeps blinking and missing things, so that one second she’s by the doors, then they’re halfway down the hall, and then they’re outside and running for the car. Santana’s turning her key in the ignition before Brittany really understands how, and then Rachel comes flying out of the chapel towards them and Santana’s eyes get hard again as she floors the gas pedal.
+
Santana doesn’t know how they make it to the hospital, and it takes her three tries to force her shaking hands to let go of the steering wheel. She parks in one of the staff bays by the doors and holds onto Brittany’s hand too tightly, and when an orderly looks at her she hisses that her dad works here in a way that makes him pointedly look the other way as he ducks back inside.
They find Quinn’s mom slumped in one of the plastic chairs in the waiting area, and when she sees them she bursts into tears again and chokes out, “She’s in surgery,” and then Santana can feel her own tears at the corners of her eyes.
It’s Brittany whimpering next to her and turning into her to bury her head in Santana’s shoulder that finally makes the sobs force their way of her throat, and then they sink down next to Mrs. Fabray, both of them squished together in one chair as close as they can be, holding each other like they never want to let go.
+
Ten minutes later Rachel is there, demanding to know what’s going on, and Brittany has to literally hold Santana back. Quinn’s mom doesn’t even move, and Brittany isn’t sure if she’s aware of what’s going on beyond the fact that Quinn is in surgery and no one can tell them anything.
She wishes someone could tell them something.
“This was all your fault! With your stupid wedding to that stupid fucking idiot!” Santana spits out, tears still fresh on her face. She tries to pull away from her, but Brittany’s always been the strong one, and she presses her hand across Santana’s chest and wraps the other around her waist, just to make sure she stays next to her.
She’s not sure why, but she just really needs her to stay next to her.
“I-I didn’t-“ Rachel starts to say, eyes welling up, and it takes Brittany a moment to realise that Finn isn’t with her. It’s not that she cares, because Santana kind of has a point, and Brittany has always hated how Rachel has this weird power that makes Quinn come running whenever she asks, but it still catches her attention, and she keeps looking at the door wondering when he’s going to lumber in.
She doesn’t know if she’ll hold Santana back, if he does.
“If you’d have listened to her she never would have been on that road!” Santana is shouting now, voice hoarse, and Rachel actually takes a step back from her words, head lowering like Santana’s passing judgement. “Why the fuck were you getting married today? Why? You don’t- You can’t-” Santana sounds so angry that her words have actually failed her, and it scares her a little because Santana’s words never run out, and she doesn’t know what to say to fill the void so she swallows and tries to pull Santana closer instead.
“I just wanted her to be there,” Rachel says quietly after a second, glancing back up at them both, eyes locking onto Brittany’s and then Santana’s. “I just wanted-“
“No,” Santana says fiercely, voice cracking a little the way it does when she reaches for high notes that are just out of her range. “You don’t get to want things. This is your fault. You get to leave, and we get to be here.”
“San,” Brittany breathes, so quiet that Rachel can’t hear it. She feels Santana lean into her a little and then she covers the hand on her stomach with her own and grips Brittany’s fingers hard, so hard that Brittany can feel the way her whole arm is shaking.
“But I-“ Rachel swings her gaze to Brittany, in search of sympathy like Brittany’s going to give it to her, but Brittany just stares back silently, waiting for Rachel to realise that she doesn’t have a place here.
“Leave,” Santana says again, and Brittany watches Rachel go.
+
Mercedes, Mike, Tina and Sam show up next, and Puck lurks behind them, scowling and glaring round at anyone who gets too close. No-one says anything, and they all grip each others’ hands too tightly and try to pretend they don’t notice the silence.
They stay until visiting hours are over and the nurses say that only family can stay, and the nurse stares at them for a moment but neither of them move, and then Mrs. Fabray reaches for her hands and tells the nurse that they’re Quinn’s family too.
+
It’s hours later by the time Quinn’s out of surgery, and Brittany’s curled up on the chair next to her with her head in her lap while Quinn’s mom rocks backwards and forwards on her other side, just silent now she’s sobbed herself out. Santana runs her fingers through the hairs at Brittany’s forehead slowly, pulled loose by worrying hands all afternoon, and traces her finger over Brittany’s eyebrow until Brittany twitches a little in her sleep.
She doesn’t know why but she hasn’t been able to stop touching Brittany since they got here, just knows that she needs the reassurance of her skin under her finger tips, and she tangles her hand into Brittany’s hair and keeps it there, just as a doctor she doesn't recognise pushes through the doors at the end of the hall.
Mrs. Fabray straightens up at the sound of the doors and turns towards them hopefully, and the doctor nods and hurries over, glancing down at a chart in his hand. “Mrs. Fabray?” He asks, eyes silently taking in Santana and Brittany next to her.
She doesn't wake Brittany, because what if it’s bad news? What if it’s bad news and Brittany has to hear it from this doctor instead of her? She has to tell her herself, and she braces herself for the worst, even as she she registers that the doctor isn’t wearing the right expression to deliver the news she’s dreading.
Her fingers still against Brittany’s forehead for a moment as the doctor talks, words she vaguely recognises because of her dad, and then more she recognises from television and ones with obvious meanings like brain damage and broken bones and collapsed lung that make her feel like she’s going to throw up.
Quinn’s mom gets very still next to her, and the doctor’s face gets serious, and the only words Santana really absorbs are the last ones he says: “There’s nothing left to do but wait.”
+
“Britt? Baby wake up,” Santana’s voice is gentler than it’s been all day, and Brittany blinks slowly, watching as Santana’s worried face comes into focus above her.
“What’s wrong? Is she-” Brittany says immediately, a second after she remembers where they are, that Quinn is-
Santana brushes her fingers against her head again and shakes her head. “The doctor said we can-we can see her now.”
“She’s out of surgery?” Brittany asks, uncurling herself from Santana’s lap and feeling the muscles in her back pull against the cramp. She doesn’t go far, and she reaches for Santana’s hand a second later, just to reassure herself that she’s still there.
“She’s out of surgery.” Santana nods, voice a little higher than usual and tripping over some of the words. “Her mom said we could see her.”
Her eyes lock onto Brittany’s helplessly and Brittany squeezes her hand, trying to be strong for the both of them. “Okay.”
+
When they get into the room Santana stares at all the wires and beeping machines hooked up to Quinn, at her wrecked and bandaged body, so small and clearly broken, and feels all the air go out of her lungs.
And then Brittany sobs and crumples against her, clutching at the front of Santana’s dress to hold herself up, and Santana wraps her arms around her and holds on tight, whispering, “She’ll be okay,” over and over again like a prayer, until they both start to believe it.
+
She feels fingers against her hand and lips against her forehead and she tries to open her eyes to tell them she’s there, just so they know that she-
+
Santana’s dad brings them a change of clothes when he starts his shift the next day, and he tells them not to worry about visiting hours because he’s told the hospital to look the other way, just this once.
All the doctors understand what it’s like when family is ill, he says, and Brittany watches Santana wrap her arms around his neck and cling for a second, like a little kid seeking comfort.
She kind of wishes her mom was there, so she could do the same thing, and then she wishes that Quinn was awake so she could get a hug too. She’s irrationally sure that that would help Quinn, if she could just get a really good hug from her mom.
When he’s gone Santana settles back against her side in the chairs they’ve dragged to the side of Quinn’s bed and reaches out to touch Quinn’s hand, avoiding the spots covered by wires and Brittany’s fingers, and Brittany’s looks at their three hands joined together and swallows against the lump in her throat.
“She’s going to wake up,” she says quietly, not really to Santana, but just because. “She’ll be okay.”
She feels Santana lean more heavily against her side, and wraps an arm around her, to pull her close.
+
She argues with her dad for twenty minutes before she gives in and agrees to go home and to school the next day. It doesn’t feel right that they can carry on with their lives while Quinn is only alive because a machine is breathing for her, and whether it’s out of some sympathy or just because of the looks on their faces when her dad says he’s going to drop Brittany off at her house, their parents end up giving in and letting Brittany stay over.
They get changed for bed in silence, never more than an arm’s length away from each other, and Santana feels Brittany’s fingers brush against her back more than once when she turns away to pull a t-shirt from her drawer.
Brittany turns down the bed and then crawls under the sheets, and she holds her hand out wordlessly to Santana until she follows. They fit together like they always do, legs tangled and heads on the same pillow, Brittany’s fingers resting against Santana’s jaw and Santana’s hands in Brittany’s hair. There’s just enough light to see by, and Santana lets her eyes follow the curve of Brittany’s cheek until she finds her lips, and then she glances up to find Brittany watching her, eyes soft and blue.
“It’s awful,” she says slowly, forehead scrunching a little as she speaks, “But I was just thinking how glad I am it wasn’t you.” She swallows hard and worries her bottom lip between her teeth, and Santana can see what little light there is glinting off the tears in her eyes, “That’s horrible isn’t it?” She forces out, breath catching in the back of her throat. “Quinn is lying there and I just keep thinking that you’re not.“
She hooks her fingers round Santana’s jaw and pushes their foreheads together, until Santana can feel every breath she takes between words, between sobs, against her lips. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s so horrible, I-”
Santana can’t help the strangled whimper that escapes her, and she cuts her off by closing the gap between them and kissing Brittany desperately, using the hand in her hair to keep her close. They kiss until Santana can feel Brittany’s tears on her own cheeks, until they’re both sobbing into the contact, until she’s rolling on top of her and moving their hips together, and Brittany’s pushing her tongue into her mouth and pressing her fingers into Santana’s back so hard Santana is sure they’ll leave marks.
+
At school on Monday, everyone asks them about Quinn, and after Santana tells Tina and Mercedes that they have to wait and see before English, the news travels round the group pretty fast. The rest of them come up to them in groups between classes; first Sam and Mike, then Artie and Puck, Sugar and Rory, Kurt, Blaine and finally Rachel, all desperate to hear the news first hand.
At first Santana tells them all the same thing while Brittany stands next to her and clutches at her hand, but by the time Rachel comes over to the table where they’re all sitting at lunch, eyes red as though she’s been crying, Santana loses it and starts screaming about how none of them had cared about Quinn before she got into a car crash so why the hell did they care now?
“What the hell kind of friends are you?” she demands brokenly, eyes taking them in one by one as they avoid her gaze.
Brittany grips her hand under the table with both of hers, rubbing her thumbs around her knuckles kind of frantically in the way that always used to calm her down, but it doesn’t work so after a second she stands up and pulls Santana with her, until Santana’s surprised gaze swings to her and she cuts off mid-sentence.
“Bathroom?” Brittany says, pushing their lunches towards Sugar and tugging on Santana’s hand again before she really gets a chance to object. Santana looks confused but she lets Brittany pull her towards the doors, and Brittany pretends not to notice the relieved expressions on everyone’s faces as she takes her away.
They push through the bathroom door and wait while a couple of freshman scurry away at the sight of their uniforms, and then Brittany pulls Santana into her arms and presses a kiss to her forehead. “What’s wrong?” There’s no point pretending she doesn’t know when something is wrong with Santana, not after they promised each other they wouldn’t do that anymore, and she feels Santana go limp in her arms.
It feels like a long time before Santana whispers, “We weren’t there for her either,” the words tumbling out of her clumsily, and then Brittany presses kisses against her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, until she finds her lips and kisses them too.
“We’ll be there for her now,” she murmurs between kisses, until Santana nods and buries her face in her hair.
+
They go straight to the hospital after school, running out of their last period before anyone can stop them and ask to come with them. When they get there, Mrs. Fabray is sitting next to Quinn’s bed, and it takes Santana a moment to realise that they’ve taken Quinn off the ventilator. She’s still hooked up to machines and IVs and whatever else, but there’s no tube down her throat helping her breathe now, and she feels herself relax a little, suddenly sure that that must be a good sign.
“Did she wake up yet?” Santana asks Quinn’s mom, stopping a little short of the bed and staring at Quinn as her fingers twist nervously against each other. Brittany notices and pulls her hands apart to tangle their fingers together, and then she digs the nails of her other hand into her palm instead, where Brittany can’t see.
“Not yet,” Quinn’s mom sounds like she hasn’t slept at all, her voice scratchy and hoarse. “Soon though,” she adds in a whisper, “I hope.”
Brittany lets go of Santana’s hand so that she can sit down on one side of Mrs. Fabray, and then she reaches for her hand carefully like it might break. She nods to the chair on her other side at Santana until Santana sits, just a little bit awkward, unsure what to do with her hands. A second later she feels Brittany reach round the back of Quinn’s mom’s chair until her hand is on Santana’s shoulder, and Santana lets herself relax into the touch, just a little.
“We’ll wait with you,” Brittany says to Quinn’s mom, until her shoulders sag and she nods, and Santana feels that scratchy sensation in the back of her throat that means the tears are trying to force their way out.
“Thank you,” Mrs. Fabray murmurs, voice full of sincerity, and Santana blinks rapidly as the first tears start to fall.
+
She can see shapes behind her eyes, light and dark, shifting and twisting and -
+
Quinn wakes up on Thursday when her mom has gone home to change her clothes.
Brittany grips her hand as her eyes flutter once, twice, and then open, eyes shifting between Quinn’s face and the machines that she’s fairly sure are beeping louder now than they were before, and Santana is out of her seat and at the door in a second shouting for the nurse, leaning out into the hallway like she can’t bring herself to actually leave.
“Quinn?” Brittany murmurs, leaning over to find her eyes and watch as the cloudiness falls from them. Quinn’s tongue darts out to lick her cracked lips. “Quinn, can you hear me?”
“I-“ Quinn croaks out, as Santana shouts into the hall again, a little more frantically now. Quinn coughs and swallows before she tries again, “I feel like... got hit by... truck.”
There’s silence in the room for a long beat and then Santana chokes out a strangled laugh and turns to stare at her, eyes fixing on Quinn’s face like she’s checking she’s really there.
“God, Quinn,” Santana huffs out, something like relief in her voice, and Brittany presses her free hand to her mouth to try and stop the bubble of laughter threatening to erupt. It’s not funny, it’s really not funny, but it’s Quinn, it’s their Quinn, and she’s awake and looking at them like she recognises them, and Brittany wasn’t even sure that that would ever happen again.
“Welcome back sleepyhead,” Brittany offers her a watery smile, ghosting her palm against Quinn’s cheek as gently as she can to pull Quinn’s gaze back to her. “We missed you.”
+
It’s not like in the movies where recovery takes just as long as whatever inspirational song plays over the montage, and Quinn has weeks and weeks of physical therapy to do before she can even use her hands and stand up again. The sessions are worse than any conditioning she went through for the Cheerios, worse even than the months when she was busy turning from Lucy to Quinn, and the only thing that makes it remotely bearable is when Brittany and Santana show up at half past three to help.
She gets frustrated easily; by her inability to take herself to the bathroom and how clumsy her left hand is while her right is still mending, by the fact that she’s trapped in this bed with what feels like no end in sight. Her mom and Brittany and Santana are there every day, and she sees Mercedes, Sam, and Mike and Tina in turns, like they’ve worked out some kind of schedule for visiting hours that she’s not privy to, but it’s still lonely, and she can’t help wondering what they’re doing in glee when she’s not there, and if anyone even misses her now she’s gone.
Two weeks after she wakes up she thinks she sees Rachel through the window in the door, and then Santana stands up quickly and steps out into the hallway while Brittany shuffles in her seat awkwardly, picking at the threads on the hospital blanket and pretending they can’t hear Santana’s raised voice through the door.
When Santana comes back she’s alone, and she sinks down on the edge of the bed with a smile that’s a little too bright and false, until Quinn swallows and has to look away.
+
Santana brings her laptop with her sometimes, because there’s no reason why she can’t torment Quinn into moving and check facebook at the same time, and she watches Quinn and Brittany play a clumsy game of pattycake as she surfs, listening to Brittany count out what she quickly realises are different time signatures, making Quinn match the rhythms and changing them without warning.
They keep at it until Quinn’s hands are shaking with the effort, until she’s laughing and clapping her hands against Brittany’s perfectly in time with every change, in threes and fours and sevens, in complicated syncopated beats that Santana’s half sure Brittany is inventing as she goes, and Santana watches them with a grin on her face, until Quinn catches her eye and returns the smile, and then she closes the laptop lid and asks if she can join in.
+
The first time she uses her right hand to grab something after the bones have mended it’s Santana’s leg, because she’s been sitting with her feet up on the bed nudging her with her foot and telling her to stop her for the better part of twenty minutes, arms folded across her chest and an infuriatingly innocent smile on her face.
When Quinn finally pushes her away, Santana’s smile turns sincere, and Brittany starts cheering from her place at the bottom of her bed, where she’s been helping Quinn bend her foot back and forth at the ankle, hands holding her leg carefully as they support the weight.
+
The week she has the cast taken off her leg, she falls over when she tries to make her own way to the bathroom, and then she screams at Brittany and Santana not to help her while she tries to get back to the bed. Brittany watches in silence, feeling Santana shift nervously next to her, and she knows that she wants to go and help Quinn the same way she does but she forces herself to stay still and watch as Quinn makes it to the edge of the bed, and then huffs in frustration when she tries to pull herself up, before collapsing back against the floor.
Quinn presses her face against the metal bed frame and cries noisily, and Santana stares at Brittany helplessly, her mouth open like she wants to say something but can’t find the words, silently begging her to do something. Brittany takes one step then waits to see if Quinn will notice, and when she doesn’t say anything she takes another and then another, until she’s on the floor next to Quinn and reaching for her, stroking her hair back from her face.
Quinn sobs into her shoulder, as Brittany holds her, careful to avoid the bandages and the places she knows are still scarred, and then Santana sinks down on Quinn’s other side and tries to hold them both.
+
Two days later, she only manages to stand up for ten minutes before her knees start buckling, and then Brittany is there to catch her and hold her up, and Quinn forces her still-awkward fingers to grip the back of Brittany’s shirt and hold on. Brittany’s arms are strong around her, and after a moment she starts to guide her around the room in a waltz, humming breathy music into her ear until Quinn feels her frustration drift away.
Brittany carries her as though she weighs nothing at all and Quinn holds on for a long time before she lets Brittany put her down, and then she blushes as Brittany brushes a lock of hair out of her eyes, her fingers warm against her cheek, and smiles at her before she spins away.
+
It takes Santana most of the week to convince her dad to let them stay over in Quinn’s room on Friday night, and when he finally says yes she grabs her laptop and an overnight bag and texts Brittany to tell her to do the same.
She’s downloaded all the movies they used to watch at sleepovers as kids, and after Quinn bats her eyes at her mom until she says it’s okay, Santana watches Brittany roll out their sleeping bags on the floor for later and drag the chairs over to the side of the bed so they’ll all be able to see the screen.
Santana props her computer up on the table that fits over Quinn’s bed, the ones they usually put her meals on, and then drags her chair closer to Brittany’s so she can lean into her side. Quinn watches them for a long moment, and then Brittany catches her at it and reaches across to lace her fingers through Quinn’s until Quinn goes back to watching the screen.
Brittany shifts against her, her hand rubbing up and down Santana’s spine in a way that makes her shiver, and after a moment she glances at Santana with an apology in her eyes and edges away, closer to the bed. She grips Quinn’s hand a little harder, and then she’s moving out of her seat and over to the bed, fitting herself into Quinn’s side without disturbing her, one arm around Quinn’s middle and the other still holding onto her hand tightly.
Santana watches the movie for a little longer before she’s aware that they’re both watching her, and then Brittany holds her hand out to her until Santana climbs in to the other side of the bed, hooking her arm through Quinn’s to join her hand with Brittany’s where it rests on Quinn’s stomach, and holds on tight.
+
Brittany wakes up in the night thinking the world is ending, because the machine that they still hook Quinn up to during the night is beeping louder than anything she’s ever heard. The door bangs open and the night nurse is there, and after she realises it’s going off because their tangled limbs have managed to dislodge the wire from Quinn while they were sleeping, she shouts at them for ten straight minutes and makes them sleep on the floor.
+
The first time she walks unaided down the length of the corridor, Brittany and Santana are either side of her the same way they used to be at school, hands poised to grab her if she falls. She feels shaky when she makes it to the double doors at the end, but she hasn’t needed their help, and when she starts to lean into Santana’s side on the way back neither of them mention it.
It’s another two weeks before she’s strong enough to walk further than the end of the hall, and then they play hide and go seek over the floor of the hospital; Brittany and Santana finding places to hide that are further and further away, until there’s nowhere they can go that Quinn won’t be able to find them.
+
“I want to go outside,” Quinn tells her, when she gets there a week and a half later, alone because Brittany had to stay for some student council meeting after school. Quinn pulls her face into a pout and the best puppy eyes Santana has ever seen, until Santana gives in and sticks her head out into the hall to check where the nurses are.
“Are you sure you’re okay for this?” Santana asks in the elevator, standing a little too close as though she’s unconsciously trying to shield Quinn from everyone around them, unable to shake the feeling that she’s involved in some sort of prison break, which isn’t helped by the clearly visible hospital gown that Quinn is still wearing under her coat.
“I just need some air,” Quinn says quickly, “Please,” and then they’re on the bottom floor and there’s nothing Santana can say to stop her.
Quinn walks towards the doors slowly, and if Santana hadn’t spend the last couple of weeks chasing Quinn over the hospital she’d be sure her legs were shaking because they still can’t support her weight, but she knows that isn’t it at all. She hears Quinn suck in a breath, and she catches at her hand and slides her fingers into the gaps between Quinn’s before they step through the doors, watching as Quinn blinks in the suddenly too bright sunlight.
They stand there in silence for a long moment, Quinn eyeing the cars in the lot with some expression that Santana can’t really place, and then she flinches when a truck drives past with a too loud engine, and Santana pulls her back inside.
+
Quinn is still shaking a little when Brittany gets there, and she takes in the way that Santana is sitting behind her on the bed with her arms wrapped around Quinn and her face pressed into her hair, knees folded either side of Quinn’s hips as Quinn leans back into her and stares at nothing, before she drops her bag and climbs in next to them.
+
The week before she gets to go home, they bring Mercedes, Sam and Joe with them, and the boys somehow manage to sneak their guitars past the nursing station without anyone noticing. They sing her two and a half songs before a nurse comes in and demands to know what’s going on, and then they look sheepish and put their guitars back into their cases and promise they won’t make any more noise.
The promise lasts for about thirty seconds before they’re all singing a quiet acappella version of Take Care, Mercedes and Santana harmonising the chorus while Sam and Brittany rap the verses and Joe taps out a beat with his hands. It’s sort of cheesy, but there’s an inherent cheesiness to show choir that has always secretly appealed to her, and by the time they get to the last chorus she’s laughing and singing along.
It’s the first time she’s sung since the accident and she’s surprised at how good it feels, like her throat is big and open for the first time and she can finally breath. When they’re done, Sam high fives her and Mercedes gives her hand a squeeze, and Santana kicks her feet up onto the bed and nudges her with them until they’re all laughing again, and when she reaches over to push Santana’s feet away, her hands feel like her own for the first time since she woke up.
+
They skip school on the Friday that Quinn can finally go home, hurrying down the corridors to Quinn’s room and hoping they don’t run into Santana’s father. When they fall through Quinn’s doorway, Quinn’s mom eyes them a little until Brittany blurts out, “It’s senior skip day,” and Santana nods and tries to paint an innocent expression onto her face.
“It’s nice that you’re here girls,” Mrs. Fabray says eventually, though the tone of her voice implies that it isn’t. “But I’m going to take Quinn home, okay?”
“We wanted to give her a ride,” Santana says quickly, glancing to Quinn to check it’s okay and catching the way her eyes widen and a smile tugs at her mouth.
“We’ll follow you straight home and drive really carefully,” Brittany adds when Quinn’s mom opens her mouth to object. Santana holds herself still while Mrs. Fabray’s eyes flick between them, silently grateful that Brittany has always been better at sweet-talking parents than her.
Quinn stays silent but looks at her mom hopefully, and Santana knew this was a good idea when she confessed it to Brittany earlier, because she remembers the way Quinn looked at the cars in the parking lot and doesn’t want her to have to go through that alone again.
“Okay,” Mrs. Fabray says finally, after what feels like an age. “But you follow me straight home.”
+
They drove over in Brittany’s car, and Santana waits for Quinn to climb into the back seat before following her, finding Brittany’s eyes in the mirror and seeing her nod her head, just enough for her to notice but not enough for Quinn to catch the movement.
Santana shuffles over until she’s in the middle seat pressed against Quinn’s side, and when Quinn stiffens as Brittany reverses out of the space and heads for the exit Santana wraps an arm around her shoulders and keeps it there until she starts to relax, just a little.
+
On her first day at school her mom drops her off, and Brittany and Santana are waiting for her outside the main building, playing at swinging their hands between them and laughing at some private joke.
She takes a deep breath and pushes through the crowd, one arm curled around her middle protectively as she tries to stop herself from flinching every time someone bumps into her.
They see her coming and break into matching grins, and when they push through the double doors they match their steps to hers as they walk down the hall, flanking her on either side just like always, their hands ready to catch her in case she falls.
Characters: Brittany/Santana, Quinn (Brittany/Quinn/Santana)
Length: 6k.
Rating: PG-13/R-ish
Spoilers: 3x14 On My Way
Summary: She’s dimly aware of the part of her mind that registers that Quinn still isn’t at the chapel.
A/N: Shifting POVs. It just sort of worked out that way, sorry.
She taps her thumb against the keys and glances up at the road, but there’s no traffic in front of her so she’s got some time to send three words back before anyone could even notice she hasn’t got her eyes on the road. Rachel doesn’t have time, but Quinn needs her to find some, just needs her to wait five minutes and then she’ll be there and she can-
+
Santana’s standing next to Mr. Schue when his phone starts ringing and everyone’s eyes swing round to glare at him just as Finn trails off, wedding vows forgotten, and looks confused.
“Sorry,” Mr. Schue says, “I thought I turned that-“
Santana watches his face twist into confusion, and then he’s answering the phone and turning away from everyone else, trying to exclude them from his side of the conversation.
“When?” Santana hears in a hushed whisper, then “Where are they taking her?” and then she hears his breath catch as he nods and says, “I’ll tell them.”
Brittany glances sideways at her, silently asking if she knows what’s going on, and Santana feels her stomach twist, though she can’t really say why.
She’s dimly aware of the part of her mind that registers that Quinn still isn’t at the chapel.
There’s silence for a full five seconds before Mr. Schue turns back around, face pale, and says, “It’s Quinn. There’s been an accident,” and it feels like her world explodes.
+
Santana’s hand is in hers and tugging her towards the door before she even realises what’s happening, and she can hear the words echoing in the suddenly too silent chapel, even though earlier everything had just sounded kind of dead in here.
She doesn’t want things to sound dead.
Santana tugs again, and Brittany jerks into motion, catching up to her in two quick steps, and she sees the hardness in Santana’s eyes and the set of her jaw that means she’s trying not to cry, and then she feels her own tears on her cheeks and reaches her free hand up to wipe them away.
She feels numb, like she keeps blinking and missing things, so that one second she’s by the doors, then they’re halfway down the hall, and then they’re outside and running for the car. Santana’s turning her key in the ignition before Brittany really understands how, and then Rachel comes flying out of the chapel towards them and Santana’s eyes get hard again as she floors the gas pedal.
+
Santana doesn’t know how they make it to the hospital, and it takes her three tries to force her shaking hands to let go of the steering wheel. She parks in one of the staff bays by the doors and holds onto Brittany’s hand too tightly, and when an orderly looks at her she hisses that her dad works here in a way that makes him pointedly look the other way as he ducks back inside.
They find Quinn’s mom slumped in one of the plastic chairs in the waiting area, and when she sees them she bursts into tears again and chokes out, “She’s in surgery,” and then Santana can feel her own tears at the corners of her eyes.
It’s Brittany whimpering next to her and turning into her to bury her head in Santana’s shoulder that finally makes the sobs force their way of her throat, and then they sink down next to Mrs. Fabray, both of them squished together in one chair as close as they can be, holding each other like they never want to let go.
+
Ten minutes later Rachel is there, demanding to know what’s going on, and Brittany has to literally hold Santana back. Quinn’s mom doesn’t even move, and Brittany isn’t sure if she’s aware of what’s going on beyond the fact that Quinn is in surgery and no one can tell them anything.
She wishes someone could tell them something.
“This was all your fault! With your stupid wedding to that stupid fucking idiot!” Santana spits out, tears still fresh on her face. She tries to pull away from her, but Brittany’s always been the strong one, and she presses her hand across Santana’s chest and wraps the other around her waist, just to make sure she stays next to her.
She’s not sure why, but she just really needs her to stay next to her.
“I-I didn’t-“ Rachel starts to say, eyes welling up, and it takes Brittany a moment to realise that Finn isn’t with her. It’s not that she cares, because Santana kind of has a point, and Brittany has always hated how Rachel has this weird power that makes Quinn come running whenever she asks, but it still catches her attention, and she keeps looking at the door wondering when he’s going to lumber in.
She doesn’t know if she’ll hold Santana back, if he does.
“If you’d have listened to her she never would have been on that road!” Santana is shouting now, voice hoarse, and Rachel actually takes a step back from her words, head lowering like Santana’s passing judgement. “Why the fuck were you getting married today? Why? You don’t- You can’t-” Santana sounds so angry that her words have actually failed her, and it scares her a little because Santana’s words never run out, and she doesn’t know what to say to fill the void so she swallows and tries to pull Santana closer instead.
“I just wanted her to be there,” Rachel says quietly after a second, glancing back up at them both, eyes locking onto Brittany’s and then Santana’s. “I just wanted-“
“No,” Santana says fiercely, voice cracking a little the way it does when she reaches for high notes that are just out of her range. “You don’t get to want things. This is your fault. You get to leave, and we get to be here.”
“San,” Brittany breathes, so quiet that Rachel can’t hear it. She feels Santana lean into her a little and then she covers the hand on her stomach with her own and grips Brittany’s fingers hard, so hard that Brittany can feel the way her whole arm is shaking.
“But I-“ Rachel swings her gaze to Brittany, in search of sympathy like Brittany’s going to give it to her, but Brittany just stares back silently, waiting for Rachel to realise that she doesn’t have a place here.
“Leave,” Santana says again, and Brittany watches Rachel go.
+
Mercedes, Mike, Tina and Sam show up next, and Puck lurks behind them, scowling and glaring round at anyone who gets too close. No-one says anything, and they all grip each others’ hands too tightly and try to pretend they don’t notice the silence.
They stay until visiting hours are over and the nurses say that only family can stay, and the nurse stares at them for a moment but neither of them move, and then Mrs. Fabray reaches for her hands and tells the nurse that they’re Quinn’s family too.
+
It’s hours later by the time Quinn’s out of surgery, and Brittany’s curled up on the chair next to her with her head in her lap while Quinn’s mom rocks backwards and forwards on her other side, just silent now she’s sobbed herself out. Santana runs her fingers through the hairs at Brittany’s forehead slowly, pulled loose by worrying hands all afternoon, and traces her finger over Brittany’s eyebrow until Brittany twitches a little in her sleep.
She doesn’t know why but she hasn’t been able to stop touching Brittany since they got here, just knows that she needs the reassurance of her skin under her finger tips, and she tangles her hand into Brittany’s hair and keeps it there, just as a doctor she doesn't recognise pushes through the doors at the end of the hall.
Mrs. Fabray straightens up at the sound of the doors and turns towards them hopefully, and the doctor nods and hurries over, glancing down at a chart in his hand. “Mrs. Fabray?” He asks, eyes silently taking in Santana and Brittany next to her.
She doesn't wake Brittany, because what if it’s bad news? What if it’s bad news and Brittany has to hear it from this doctor instead of her? She has to tell her herself, and she braces herself for the worst, even as she she registers that the doctor isn’t wearing the right expression to deliver the news she’s dreading.
Her fingers still against Brittany’s forehead for a moment as the doctor talks, words she vaguely recognises because of her dad, and then more she recognises from television and ones with obvious meanings like brain damage and broken bones and collapsed lung that make her feel like she’s going to throw up.
Quinn’s mom gets very still next to her, and the doctor’s face gets serious, and the only words Santana really absorbs are the last ones he says: “There’s nothing left to do but wait.”
+
“Britt? Baby wake up,” Santana’s voice is gentler than it’s been all day, and Brittany blinks slowly, watching as Santana’s worried face comes into focus above her.
“What’s wrong? Is she-” Brittany says immediately, a second after she remembers where they are, that Quinn is-
Santana brushes her fingers against her head again and shakes her head. “The doctor said we can-we can see her now.”
“She’s out of surgery?” Brittany asks, uncurling herself from Santana’s lap and feeling the muscles in her back pull against the cramp. She doesn’t go far, and she reaches for Santana’s hand a second later, just to reassure herself that she’s still there.
“She’s out of surgery.” Santana nods, voice a little higher than usual and tripping over some of the words. “Her mom said we could see her.”
Her eyes lock onto Brittany’s helplessly and Brittany squeezes her hand, trying to be strong for the both of them. “Okay.”
+
When they get into the room Santana stares at all the wires and beeping machines hooked up to Quinn, at her wrecked and bandaged body, so small and clearly broken, and feels all the air go out of her lungs.
And then Brittany sobs and crumples against her, clutching at the front of Santana’s dress to hold herself up, and Santana wraps her arms around her and holds on tight, whispering, “She’ll be okay,” over and over again like a prayer, until they both start to believe it.
+
She feels fingers against her hand and lips against her forehead and she tries to open her eyes to tell them she’s there, just so they know that she-
+
Santana’s dad brings them a change of clothes when he starts his shift the next day, and he tells them not to worry about visiting hours because he’s told the hospital to look the other way, just this once.
All the doctors understand what it’s like when family is ill, he says, and Brittany watches Santana wrap her arms around his neck and cling for a second, like a little kid seeking comfort.
She kind of wishes her mom was there, so she could do the same thing, and then she wishes that Quinn was awake so she could get a hug too. She’s irrationally sure that that would help Quinn, if she could just get a really good hug from her mom.
When he’s gone Santana settles back against her side in the chairs they’ve dragged to the side of Quinn’s bed and reaches out to touch Quinn’s hand, avoiding the spots covered by wires and Brittany’s fingers, and Brittany’s looks at their three hands joined together and swallows against the lump in her throat.
“She’s going to wake up,” she says quietly, not really to Santana, but just because. “She’ll be okay.”
She feels Santana lean more heavily against her side, and wraps an arm around her, to pull her close.
+
She argues with her dad for twenty minutes before she gives in and agrees to go home and to school the next day. It doesn’t feel right that they can carry on with their lives while Quinn is only alive because a machine is breathing for her, and whether it’s out of some sympathy or just because of the looks on their faces when her dad says he’s going to drop Brittany off at her house, their parents end up giving in and letting Brittany stay over.
They get changed for bed in silence, never more than an arm’s length away from each other, and Santana feels Brittany’s fingers brush against her back more than once when she turns away to pull a t-shirt from her drawer.
Brittany turns down the bed and then crawls under the sheets, and she holds her hand out wordlessly to Santana until she follows. They fit together like they always do, legs tangled and heads on the same pillow, Brittany’s fingers resting against Santana’s jaw and Santana’s hands in Brittany’s hair. There’s just enough light to see by, and Santana lets her eyes follow the curve of Brittany’s cheek until she finds her lips, and then she glances up to find Brittany watching her, eyes soft and blue.
“It’s awful,” she says slowly, forehead scrunching a little as she speaks, “But I was just thinking how glad I am it wasn’t you.” She swallows hard and worries her bottom lip between her teeth, and Santana can see what little light there is glinting off the tears in her eyes, “That’s horrible isn’t it?” She forces out, breath catching in the back of her throat. “Quinn is lying there and I just keep thinking that you’re not.“
She hooks her fingers round Santana’s jaw and pushes their foreheads together, until Santana can feel every breath she takes between words, between sobs, against her lips. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s so horrible, I-”
Santana can’t help the strangled whimper that escapes her, and she cuts her off by closing the gap between them and kissing Brittany desperately, using the hand in her hair to keep her close. They kiss until Santana can feel Brittany’s tears on her own cheeks, until they’re both sobbing into the contact, until she’s rolling on top of her and moving their hips together, and Brittany’s pushing her tongue into her mouth and pressing her fingers into Santana’s back so hard Santana is sure they’ll leave marks.
+
At school on Monday, everyone asks them about Quinn, and after Santana tells Tina and Mercedes that they have to wait and see before English, the news travels round the group pretty fast. The rest of them come up to them in groups between classes; first Sam and Mike, then Artie and Puck, Sugar and Rory, Kurt, Blaine and finally Rachel, all desperate to hear the news first hand.
At first Santana tells them all the same thing while Brittany stands next to her and clutches at her hand, but by the time Rachel comes over to the table where they’re all sitting at lunch, eyes red as though she’s been crying, Santana loses it and starts screaming about how none of them had cared about Quinn before she got into a car crash so why the hell did they care now?
“What the hell kind of friends are you?” she demands brokenly, eyes taking them in one by one as they avoid her gaze.
Brittany grips her hand under the table with both of hers, rubbing her thumbs around her knuckles kind of frantically in the way that always used to calm her down, but it doesn’t work so after a second she stands up and pulls Santana with her, until Santana’s surprised gaze swings to her and she cuts off mid-sentence.
“Bathroom?” Brittany says, pushing their lunches towards Sugar and tugging on Santana’s hand again before she really gets a chance to object. Santana looks confused but she lets Brittany pull her towards the doors, and Brittany pretends not to notice the relieved expressions on everyone’s faces as she takes her away.
They push through the bathroom door and wait while a couple of freshman scurry away at the sight of their uniforms, and then Brittany pulls Santana into her arms and presses a kiss to her forehead. “What’s wrong?” There’s no point pretending she doesn’t know when something is wrong with Santana, not after they promised each other they wouldn’t do that anymore, and she feels Santana go limp in her arms.
It feels like a long time before Santana whispers, “We weren’t there for her either,” the words tumbling out of her clumsily, and then Brittany presses kisses against her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, until she finds her lips and kisses them too.
“We’ll be there for her now,” she murmurs between kisses, until Santana nods and buries her face in her hair.
+
They go straight to the hospital after school, running out of their last period before anyone can stop them and ask to come with them. When they get there, Mrs. Fabray is sitting next to Quinn’s bed, and it takes Santana a moment to realise that they’ve taken Quinn off the ventilator. She’s still hooked up to machines and IVs and whatever else, but there’s no tube down her throat helping her breathe now, and she feels herself relax a little, suddenly sure that that must be a good sign.
“Did she wake up yet?” Santana asks Quinn’s mom, stopping a little short of the bed and staring at Quinn as her fingers twist nervously against each other. Brittany notices and pulls her hands apart to tangle their fingers together, and then she digs the nails of her other hand into her palm instead, where Brittany can’t see.
“Not yet,” Quinn’s mom sounds like she hasn’t slept at all, her voice scratchy and hoarse. “Soon though,” she adds in a whisper, “I hope.”
Brittany lets go of Santana’s hand so that she can sit down on one side of Mrs. Fabray, and then she reaches for her hand carefully like it might break. She nods to the chair on her other side at Santana until Santana sits, just a little bit awkward, unsure what to do with her hands. A second later she feels Brittany reach round the back of Quinn’s mom’s chair until her hand is on Santana’s shoulder, and Santana lets herself relax into the touch, just a little.
“We’ll wait with you,” Brittany says to Quinn’s mom, until her shoulders sag and she nods, and Santana feels that scratchy sensation in the back of her throat that means the tears are trying to force their way out.
“Thank you,” Mrs. Fabray murmurs, voice full of sincerity, and Santana blinks rapidly as the first tears start to fall.
+
She can see shapes behind her eyes, light and dark, shifting and twisting and -
+
Quinn wakes up on Thursday when her mom has gone home to change her clothes.
Brittany grips her hand as her eyes flutter once, twice, and then open, eyes shifting between Quinn’s face and the machines that she’s fairly sure are beeping louder now than they were before, and Santana is out of her seat and at the door in a second shouting for the nurse, leaning out into the hallway like she can’t bring herself to actually leave.
“Quinn?” Brittany murmurs, leaning over to find her eyes and watch as the cloudiness falls from them. Quinn’s tongue darts out to lick her cracked lips. “Quinn, can you hear me?”
“I-“ Quinn croaks out, as Santana shouts into the hall again, a little more frantically now. Quinn coughs and swallows before she tries again, “I feel like... got hit by... truck.”
There’s silence in the room for a long beat and then Santana chokes out a strangled laugh and turns to stare at her, eyes fixing on Quinn’s face like she’s checking she’s really there.
“God, Quinn,” Santana huffs out, something like relief in her voice, and Brittany presses her free hand to her mouth to try and stop the bubble of laughter threatening to erupt. It’s not funny, it’s really not funny, but it’s Quinn, it’s their Quinn, and she’s awake and looking at them like she recognises them, and Brittany wasn’t even sure that that would ever happen again.
“Welcome back sleepyhead,” Brittany offers her a watery smile, ghosting her palm against Quinn’s cheek as gently as she can to pull Quinn’s gaze back to her. “We missed you.”
+
It’s not like in the movies where recovery takes just as long as whatever inspirational song plays over the montage, and Quinn has weeks and weeks of physical therapy to do before she can even use her hands and stand up again. The sessions are worse than any conditioning she went through for the Cheerios, worse even than the months when she was busy turning from Lucy to Quinn, and the only thing that makes it remotely bearable is when Brittany and Santana show up at half past three to help.
She gets frustrated easily; by her inability to take herself to the bathroom and how clumsy her left hand is while her right is still mending, by the fact that she’s trapped in this bed with what feels like no end in sight. Her mom and Brittany and Santana are there every day, and she sees Mercedes, Sam, and Mike and Tina in turns, like they’ve worked out some kind of schedule for visiting hours that she’s not privy to, but it’s still lonely, and she can’t help wondering what they’re doing in glee when she’s not there, and if anyone even misses her now she’s gone.
Two weeks after she wakes up she thinks she sees Rachel through the window in the door, and then Santana stands up quickly and steps out into the hallway while Brittany shuffles in her seat awkwardly, picking at the threads on the hospital blanket and pretending they can’t hear Santana’s raised voice through the door.
When Santana comes back she’s alone, and she sinks down on the edge of the bed with a smile that’s a little too bright and false, until Quinn swallows and has to look away.
+
Santana brings her laptop with her sometimes, because there’s no reason why she can’t torment Quinn into moving and check facebook at the same time, and she watches Quinn and Brittany play a clumsy game of pattycake as she surfs, listening to Brittany count out what she quickly realises are different time signatures, making Quinn match the rhythms and changing them without warning.
They keep at it until Quinn’s hands are shaking with the effort, until she’s laughing and clapping her hands against Brittany’s perfectly in time with every change, in threes and fours and sevens, in complicated syncopated beats that Santana’s half sure Brittany is inventing as she goes, and Santana watches them with a grin on her face, until Quinn catches her eye and returns the smile, and then she closes the laptop lid and asks if she can join in.
+
The first time she uses her right hand to grab something after the bones have mended it’s Santana’s leg, because she’s been sitting with her feet up on the bed nudging her with her foot and telling her to stop her for the better part of twenty minutes, arms folded across her chest and an infuriatingly innocent smile on her face.
When Quinn finally pushes her away, Santana’s smile turns sincere, and Brittany starts cheering from her place at the bottom of her bed, where she’s been helping Quinn bend her foot back and forth at the ankle, hands holding her leg carefully as they support the weight.
+
The week she has the cast taken off her leg, she falls over when she tries to make her own way to the bathroom, and then she screams at Brittany and Santana not to help her while she tries to get back to the bed. Brittany watches in silence, feeling Santana shift nervously next to her, and she knows that she wants to go and help Quinn the same way she does but she forces herself to stay still and watch as Quinn makes it to the edge of the bed, and then huffs in frustration when she tries to pull herself up, before collapsing back against the floor.
Quinn presses her face against the metal bed frame and cries noisily, and Santana stares at Brittany helplessly, her mouth open like she wants to say something but can’t find the words, silently begging her to do something. Brittany takes one step then waits to see if Quinn will notice, and when she doesn’t say anything she takes another and then another, until she’s on the floor next to Quinn and reaching for her, stroking her hair back from her face.
Quinn sobs into her shoulder, as Brittany holds her, careful to avoid the bandages and the places she knows are still scarred, and then Santana sinks down on Quinn’s other side and tries to hold them both.
+
Two days later, she only manages to stand up for ten minutes before her knees start buckling, and then Brittany is there to catch her and hold her up, and Quinn forces her still-awkward fingers to grip the back of Brittany’s shirt and hold on. Brittany’s arms are strong around her, and after a moment she starts to guide her around the room in a waltz, humming breathy music into her ear until Quinn feels her frustration drift away.
Brittany carries her as though she weighs nothing at all and Quinn holds on for a long time before she lets Brittany put her down, and then she blushes as Brittany brushes a lock of hair out of her eyes, her fingers warm against her cheek, and smiles at her before she spins away.
+
It takes Santana most of the week to convince her dad to let them stay over in Quinn’s room on Friday night, and when he finally says yes she grabs her laptop and an overnight bag and texts Brittany to tell her to do the same.
She’s downloaded all the movies they used to watch at sleepovers as kids, and after Quinn bats her eyes at her mom until she says it’s okay, Santana watches Brittany roll out their sleeping bags on the floor for later and drag the chairs over to the side of the bed so they’ll all be able to see the screen.
Santana props her computer up on the table that fits over Quinn’s bed, the ones they usually put her meals on, and then drags her chair closer to Brittany’s so she can lean into her side. Quinn watches them for a long moment, and then Brittany catches her at it and reaches across to lace her fingers through Quinn’s until Quinn goes back to watching the screen.
Brittany shifts against her, her hand rubbing up and down Santana’s spine in a way that makes her shiver, and after a moment she glances at Santana with an apology in her eyes and edges away, closer to the bed. She grips Quinn’s hand a little harder, and then she’s moving out of her seat and over to the bed, fitting herself into Quinn’s side without disturbing her, one arm around Quinn’s middle and the other still holding onto her hand tightly.
Santana watches the movie for a little longer before she’s aware that they’re both watching her, and then Brittany holds her hand out to her until Santana climbs in to the other side of the bed, hooking her arm through Quinn’s to join her hand with Brittany’s where it rests on Quinn’s stomach, and holds on tight.
+
Brittany wakes up in the night thinking the world is ending, because the machine that they still hook Quinn up to during the night is beeping louder than anything she’s ever heard. The door bangs open and the night nurse is there, and after she realises it’s going off because their tangled limbs have managed to dislodge the wire from Quinn while they were sleeping, she shouts at them for ten straight minutes and makes them sleep on the floor.
+
The first time she walks unaided down the length of the corridor, Brittany and Santana are either side of her the same way they used to be at school, hands poised to grab her if she falls. She feels shaky when she makes it to the double doors at the end, but she hasn’t needed their help, and when she starts to lean into Santana’s side on the way back neither of them mention it.
It’s another two weeks before she’s strong enough to walk further than the end of the hall, and then they play hide and go seek over the floor of the hospital; Brittany and Santana finding places to hide that are further and further away, until there’s nowhere they can go that Quinn won’t be able to find them.
+
“I want to go outside,” Quinn tells her, when she gets there a week and a half later, alone because Brittany had to stay for some student council meeting after school. Quinn pulls her face into a pout and the best puppy eyes Santana has ever seen, until Santana gives in and sticks her head out into the hall to check where the nurses are.
“Are you sure you’re okay for this?” Santana asks in the elevator, standing a little too close as though she’s unconsciously trying to shield Quinn from everyone around them, unable to shake the feeling that she’s involved in some sort of prison break, which isn’t helped by the clearly visible hospital gown that Quinn is still wearing under her coat.
“I just need some air,” Quinn says quickly, “Please,” and then they’re on the bottom floor and there’s nothing Santana can say to stop her.
Quinn walks towards the doors slowly, and if Santana hadn’t spend the last couple of weeks chasing Quinn over the hospital she’d be sure her legs were shaking because they still can’t support her weight, but she knows that isn’t it at all. She hears Quinn suck in a breath, and she catches at her hand and slides her fingers into the gaps between Quinn’s before they step through the doors, watching as Quinn blinks in the suddenly too bright sunlight.
They stand there in silence for a long moment, Quinn eyeing the cars in the lot with some expression that Santana can’t really place, and then she flinches when a truck drives past with a too loud engine, and Santana pulls her back inside.
+
Quinn is still shaking a little when Brittany gets there, and she takes in the way that Santana is sitting behind her on the bed with her arms wrapped around Quinn and her face pressed into her hair, knees folded either side of Quinn’s hips as Quinn leans back into her and stares at nothing, before she drops her bag and climbs in next to them.
+
The week before she gets to go home, they bring Mercedes, Sam and Joe with them, and the boys somehow manage to sneak their guitars past the nursing station without anyone noticing. They sing her two and a half songs before a nurse comes in and demands to know what’s going on, and then they look sheepish and put their guitars back into their cases and promise they won’t make any more noise.
The promise lasts for about thirty seconds before they’re all singing a quiet acappella version of Take Care, Mercedes and Santana harmonising the chorus while Sam and Brittany rap the verses and Joe taps out a beat with his hands. It’s sort of cheesy, but there’s an inherent cheesiness to show choir that has always secretly appealed to her, and by the time they get to the last chorus she’s laughing and singing along.
It’s the first time she’s sung since the accident and she’s surprised at how good it feels, like her throat is big and open for the first time and she can finally breath. When they’re done, Sam high fives her and Mercedes gives her hand a squeeze, and Santana kicks her feet up onto the bed and nudges her with them until they’re all laughing again, and when she reaches over to push Santana’s feet away, her hands feel like her own for the first time since she woke up.
+
They skip school on the Friday that Quinn can finally go home, hurrying down the corridors to Quinn’s room and hoping they don’t run into Santana’s father. When they fall through Quinn’s doorway, Quinn’s mom eyes them a little until Brittany blurts out, “It’s senior skip day,” and Santana nods and tries to paint an innocent expression onto her face.
“It’s nice that you’re here girls,” Mrs. Fabray says eventually, though the tone of her voice implies that it isn’t. “But I’m going to take Quinn home, okay?”
“We wanted to give her a ride,” Santana says quickly, glancing to Quinn to check it’s okay and catching the way her eyes widen and a smile tugs at her mouth.
“We’ll follow you straight home and drive really carefully,” Brittany adds when Quinn’s mom opens her mouth to object. Santana holds herself still while Mrs. Fabray’s eyes flick between them, silently grateful that Brittany has always been better at sweet-talking parents than her.
Quinn stays silent but looks at her mom hopefully, and Santana knew this was a good idea when she confessed it to Brittany earlier, because she remembers the way Quinn looked at the cars in the parking lot and doesn’t want her to have to go through that alone again.
“Okay,” Mrs. Fabray says finally, after what feels like an age. “But you follow me straight home.”
+
They drove over in Brittany’s car, and Santana waits for Quinn to climb into the back seat before following her, finding Brittany’s eyes in the mirror and seeing her nod her head, just enough for her to notice but not enough for Quinn to catch the movement.
Santana shuffles over until she’s in the middle seat pressed against Quinn’s side, and when Quinn stiffens as Brittany reverses out of the space and heads for the exit Santana wraps an arm around her shoulders and keeps it there until she starts to relax, just a little.
+
On her first day at school her mom drops her off, and Brittany and Santana are waiting for her outside the main building, playing at swinging their hands between them and laughing at some private joke.
She takes a deep breath and pushes through the crowd, one arm curled around her middle protectively as she tries to stop herself from flinching every time someone bumps into her.
They see her coming and break into matching grins, and when they push through the double doors they match their steps to hers as they walk down the hall, flanking her on either side just like always, their hands ready to catch her in case she falls.