Fic: i-80 west, part five c (Brittany/Santana, R)

[stopstartstall]

Title: i-80 west, part five c
Characters: Brittany/Santana (w/ Quinn, Sam)
Length: 20k
Rating: R
Summary: Brittany and Santana graduate high school and spend one last summer in Lima before leaving for college.

Comments

[devilduckieee]

lol [cackle] cliffhanger liek whoooooaaaaaa [giggle] I applaud your craftiness. ;)

I really appreciate your showing off the road trip across the states for what it is. Sure there's a lot of beauty and picturesque moments, but damn if it isn't basically all fields... mostly yellow fields in the summer 'cause what's rain and it all looks the saaaaaaaame.

I like the duality that you're showing between them, Brittany's fly by the seat of her pants, come what may type attitude compared to Santana's needing plans and things she can count on to feel calm. How it works for them as a couple and how it doesn't. It'll be interesting to see where you go next, and how they deal with these things.

Great job. :)

[stopstartstall]

Thank you! I'm glad you're still diggin' it.

[locomics]

Noooooooooooooooo!!! Santana is such an idiot, everything was going so well...

Awesome story!

[stopstartstall]

Thank you!

[wickedpsychelj]

I started reading this yesterday night, then forced myself to take a break in the middle and read the rest this morning cause I didn't want it to end just yet. Lol, imagine my face when I got to the end. Brilliantly trolled my friend. Awesome stuff as always.

[stopstartstall]

Aw, I'm sorry! Thanks for reading :)

[displacedaway]

Part five was absolutely stunning. I love the tension you incorporated with the ring and the cliffhanger at the end; that's suspense done right. I also really loved the way you emphasized the fields throughout the three sections so that when we got to the mountains and the canyons you could feel that shift and the anxiety, the desire for mediocrity and boredom.

This was by far my favorite part, though:

She wonders when time became something measured in cities instead of hours, and how it is that it changes the further west they go.

She wonders what time will be like in California, when Brittany isn’t there to give some meaning to the minutes.

I'm gobsmacked by the beauty of those two sentences - all that they convey - and your way with words.

[stopstartstall]

Thank you so much for such a lovely, thoughtful comment. I'm really glad you enjoyed the update :)

[stopstartstall]

Thank you! Sorry I made you panic :D