i dont think ive ever felt more stuck. philisophically, emotionally, (morally (even though thats not the right word), geographically, academically. it feels sorta like a desperate apathy. but not the typical sort of desperation. just feels like at some point i gave up, and now i have to give up on that too. an analogy: like being handcuffed to ( Read more... )

i found a balance bar in the jacket i wore to prom 2k5. i must have been hungry that night. im hungry now, so im eating it. that was probably the most wonderfully long weekend ive had in a really long fucking time. i turned one night into half of one. turned the next day into two, in which the first half i went back to sleep and dreamt while ( Read more... )

clay put his big speakers in my room, so ive been listening to music a bit louder. on some whim i put the fragile on, and im currently being bombarded with hazy memories from highschool. theyre mostly recollections of being real dirty at school because of skating, and only showering when i came home stoned. i remember driving around alone ( Read more... )

sometimes i think im a specimen more than a person. its probably my fault. that first statement might not make any sense. the second one might make perfect sense . . . theres nothing left for us here.

if you go to sallys beauty supply, and get the smoke colored dye, it will, in fact, turn your hair blue. on a related note, i have blue hair again. tonight was probably the most uneventful friday night ive yet to experience in san marcos. that is not to say, i did not have fun, but that what i expected would happen, did not happen. i suppose ( Read more... )

i just watched karate kid for the second time in less than a week. im not sure if i think thats lame or not. none of my waterproof jackets have hoods, which means two things; wet neck/splattered glasses, and no headphones. i was enjoying the weather ( Read more... )

i havent updated in a long time. probably because the speed of things is so variable that theres not point where i say to myself "things are slow, ill make an lj post" or inversely, "so much has happened, ill make an lj post." i know that currently im already something one might call drunk, and next to my monitor is a full bottle of mickeys. so ( Read more... )

if you catch me getting hung up on something, please call me out. my current goal, is to not get hung up on anything. its a tough one if you understand. please do.

i could fall asleep at any second. i wanna leave work right now and pass out for like 3 hours. but alas, i have 20ish more minutes to sit in a room all alone and try not to doze off.

mirrors dont break people theyre all over the place. recognize your fucking reflections. also, shoot me in the head.