I beleive in Fate. I don't beleive in knowing it.

[storm_daughter]

I want to be sad. I want to feel pain that tries to tear apart my every particle. And I'm not a masachist. I'm a little selfish, or maybe I'm etirely selfish, and I'm trying to help everyone around me. I want them all to be as selfish as me, and I want to beat it into them. I want to feel pain, because I feel pain every time I look in the mirror

Comments

[dilandao]

Alright, well, I am going to feel really stupid if I am wrong, but, based upon the content of this entry and the one following, you have recently undergone a break up. No one ever seems to come right out and say it nowadays, always hiding it behind some sort of angry depression, varying in intensity depending on the severity of the relationship. For some reason, the actual affect of the break up seems to set in slowly, once again depending on the severity of the relationship, dragging out some sort of perverted stages of loss. Is it just human nature to feel self-doubt and self-loathing when such an event occurs? Are we as humans prone to intense stages of numbness in which we all want something to make us feel again? Pain always seems to be the answer. Granted, it is the most severe of human feelings, capable of dulling all others. All others pale in comparison to the effects of pain. However, do we really need to put ourselves through more of it than what we are already subjected to? There is enough episodic stress in our lives that

[storm_daughter]

Thanks. That meant alot.

I suppose I'm going through a break up of sorts. I am having the mandatory freshman homesickness, and I'm missing my social groups back at scituate, and I'm missing living at my house with my sisters. Its a huge change, with a lot of similarities to a break up, and every time I go somewhere close to home its like I'm leaving all over again.
Ah loss... And that's only the half of it.

I have always thought of you as a very attractive, intelligent and entertaining person and I thank you for taking the time to respond. It helped.

I always assumed science was a woman.