"Fat Tuesday"?
Because of their long and diverse history, Terrans have more holidays per year than they have actual days. Today appears to be yet another one; another excuse for debauchery and excess from a species which surely needs no such excuses. I first realized something was up when I went through the system logs and discovered that the replicators were almost running dry of raw materials. It seems that most of the crew have been ordering the production of vast quantities of "beads", which they will then exchange with other crewmembers for a chance to glance at their private areas. One wonders why this is necessary since our Chief Medical Officer,
Mib Khan, sells tickets and raises quite an audience when he's giving annual examinations to the comelier members of the crew - in fact, some of the crewwomen are scheduled for two or three "annual exams" per month.
In any event, this does not appear to be any cause for alarm on my part (although Counsellor
Lothar did suggest that I keep my pointed ears away from the balloons). I am certain that after a night of excess, the crew will be bent over the toilets, rapidly replenishing the recyclable raw materials for the replicators.