Hmmmm... what do I want, anyway?
As I write this, I realize that I am really thinking out loud, but feedback is appreciated.
I recently had bloodwork done, which represents the effort I undertook *before* I started 20/20. The results that came back were extremely satisfying. My cholesterol is down to 131. My good and bad cholesterol are all in healthy ranges. My AC1 value (which is a way of tracking overall blood sugar for 3 months) is equal to that of a non-diabetic - in fact, the doctor pointed out that my AC1 value is actually BETTER than most non-diabetics.
In other words, according to my blood work, I'm doing very well. And that was before starting 20/20.
Since I began this fitness regimine, I have lost over 40 lbs (I'm just shy of 45). According to the AMA, I am below the reccommended weight for my height and build.
And yet I still have this roll of fat around my middle.
My trainer asked me today if I wanted to extend my 20/20 program beyond the 12 weeks (I'm only 5 weeks in right now). I looked down at my flat tire, and looked at her and said, "I honestly don't know."
I'm healthy. I'm faster and stronger than I've EVER been. I feel more attractive than I ever have. But, the flat tire remains. And this isn't just vanity. Belly fat is the most unhealthy kind to have.
Should I be satisfied with where I'm at? I don't know. I look down at the belly fat and shout, "I'm eating nothing! I'm running my ass off! GO AWAY!" (Or as Spoo would say, "END!!!! END!!!!!") And yet, it remains.
So, is this an aspect of myself that I must just live with? I feel like I've already gone to superhuman lengths to achieve fitness, and the belly fat remains. I'm honestly not sure what the next step is.
I suspect that patience is the only real answer here, but I think my frustration level has peaked, and I just needed to vent.