Strangetown, Here We Come: Chapter Thirty - part two
Warnings: language, partial nudity, sexual situations, many f-words (figured I'd say it twice, just in case), zaniness
Chapter Thirty
Part Two
It was a lovely day in the city, so Tank made plans to meet up with Ripp there.
He had told Kendall he'd drop by later in the evening, so he figured he could combine the two, and make one trip of it. Tank was nothing if not a practical guy.
Tank left early, to run errands, and to give himself some time to get in the right frame of mind for dealing with Ripp. It wasn't long before the alarm on his watch was going off, signaling that the time had arrived.
He headed over to the SimBowl Lanes, where they had agreed to meet.
It had been a while since they'd seen each other. More than half of the semester had gone by since the last time they'd crossed paths, and that was only because Buck had forced them into it.
Ripp was pleasantly surprised to see that Tank's hair had grown so long. He looked far more human.
Tank's first thought, on seeing Ripp, was that he seemed to be gaining weight. He was veering towards pudgy. It wouldn't hurt him to work out once in a while, he figured.
"Well, well, well," Ripp said.
"Yup," said Tank. "Here we are."
"How was Three Lakes?" Tank asked.
"Perfect. Time of my life."
"It was just the three of you?"
"Yeah."
"Was it cold?"
"Fucking freezing. My balls haven't even descended from my body again yet."
"Heh. Yeah, I'll bet."
"Did you do anything for break?"
"Not really. Spent it with Kendall."
"Bam-chucka-waaauuuw." Ripp mimed a short clip from a porno. Tank laughed.
"Yeah, something like that."
"Nice."
"Let's head inside, okay?"
"Okay."
"Shit, I can't remember the last time we went bowling together."
"Me neither."
"God, I think... yeah, Mom was with us."
"Yeah, you're right. She was."
"Mom... she was always getting us out to do family shit together, as painful as that could be. It's not hard to miss her."
"Yeah."
"She basically forced us to get along. Or kindly suggested it with that weird Mom voodoo she had. Didn't really work, but I wanted it to, just because it would make her happy. You know what I mean?"
"Yeah."
"I wonder what she'd think of us now? If she were around... We're a lot bigger and uglier than when she left."
"Speak for yourself."
"Okay, well you were always ugly."
Tank glanced over, as if to dare Ripp to continue.
"I think about Mom a lot, don't you? I still miss her."
"I know you do," Tank said, "You always were the Momma's boy of the family. Pretending that I hurt you, so she'd make it all better."
"Hey, you DID fucking hurt me, okay?"
"Sure, Ripp. If you weren't such a fucking pussy, maybe you'd man up and take a little typical brotherly beating every now and then."
"Kiss my ass."
"Hmmm. Are you trash talking me?"
"Not yet. I'll wait 'til you're just about to throw the ball."
He didn't. He just watched as Tank sent the ball down the lane.
"Nice one," he said.
"Yeah, well you know... I was always better at this than you."
"Fuck you. You're going down."
"Sure, Ripp. Sure."
"It's been so long since I've bowled," Ripp said.
"Excuses, excuses."
"Next time let's play something I'm better at."
"That doesn't leave us many options."
"Very funny. How about a fuck off? You wouldn't have a prayer."
"Umm, right. What exactly would that involve, may I ask?"
"Hey, If you have to ask..."
"Speaking of... This is going to sound like an odd question, but..."
"Ooh, you want to ask the sexpert? Yeah, sure, what is it?"
Tank tried to play it off casually. "Is it, umm, do you think it's normal - or common, rather, to think about another person when you're sleeping with someone else?"
Ripp paused, and smiled a little. "Well, sure, Tank. I'm sure most people do it at some point. When you're with someone else, on your own... you know. It's just a fantasy. Most people do that."
"Have you ever done it?"
Ripp thought about it.
"No, never."
"Oh."
"But I'm sure it's totally normal. Why do you ask?"
"Oh, nothing."
The conversation dried up. Ripp waited a moment to see if it would pick up again, then continued to hurl the ball down the alley.
"Yes! See that? Booo-yeah!"
"Yes, yes. Not bad at all."
After they completed their game, they left and headed to the snack bar to grab something to eat.
"So... are you still, umm," Tank struggled to find the right words, "seeing... guys?"
"What?! Oh that... Tank, just relax, okay? It's not like I'm a fucking gay rent boy now. So I messed around with one guy. Big fucking deal! Everybody does shit like that in college, and I told you I was drunk out of my fucking mind. I can barely even remember it."
"Oh, okay."
"Besides, you're the one with a gay boyfriend, not me."
"You don't have to preface that with 'gay,' you know, and he's not my boyfriend, he's my friend."
"Girls call their friends 'girlfriends,' sometimes."
"I'm not a girl"
"Okay, sure. If you say so." Ripp stopped to tie his badly battered shoelace. "So how is Franky Worthington these days, anyway?"
"Why, are you looking for a date?"
Ripp brought himself upright, inches from Tank's face. "Very funny."
"Hey, I'm not the one who..."
"The way I hear it, you sort of are."
"What?!"
"Yes, that's right. I know. I know all about your little kiss."
"Look. He jumped me, okay?"
"Well he jumped me too, so you can shut the fuck up!"
"Fine!"
They took a seat at the snack bar.
"So who's the new guy? You know..." Ripp snapped his fingers a couple of times. "What's his name. Beau, right?"
"Yeah."
"He's a pretty big Beau-mo, huh? A beaumosexual."
Tank couldn't help but laugh. "No kidding."
"That must be... interesting for you."
"Yeah. You know... whatever."
"Tank Grunt: unfazed by all forms of gayness. You've come a long way, baby."
"Heh. Sure."
"He gets the women, though. Lucky bastard. It makes me think gaying it up might be the way to go if you want to get more play. Maybe I'll try it."
"Heh."
"I'm kidding, Tank. Though does have that total fox he hangs out with. Mmmm, yeah, she's nice. Real nice. Have you seen her?"
Tank tried to be as nonchalant as possible, but his voice cracked a little when he spoke. It actually cracked, like he was a teenager again. "Yeah."
"They don't make many like that anymore, I tell ya." Ripp grinned lecherously. "She looks good both coming and going, if you know what I'm sayin'."
Oh, I know, Tank thought, but he said, "Heh. Yeah, sure."
"I could go for a handful or two of that."
Tank wanted to punch him in the face. He wanted to clock him one, but that didn't really make any sense. She wasn't Tank's woman, Ripp didn't even know that he wanted her, and he was really only talking about it. Still, he wanted to knock him back off his chair and kick the living shit out of him. He took a deep breath.
"Or a mouthful," Ripp added.
"Yeah, okay, I get the idea, jackass."
"God, you're so touchy. What's your fucking problem? Are you on the rag?"
"Nothing. You're just being an idiot. As usual!"
"Is it because you're all married off now, and you're not allowed to even talk about girls? You must be on a pretty fucking tight leash there, Tank. You are allowed to look, you know. Most people do. And how would she even know?"
"Yeah, It's just..." He trailed off completely.
Ripp decided he'd have to go in for the answers himself. "So how are things going with you and your woman anyway?"
"Oh... alright."
"Really? Alright?"
"Yeah."
"Just alright?"
"Yeah."
"No, not 'yeah.' That sounds like trouble. I need more details."
"God, where do I start?"
"Anywhere you like. What's the problem?'
"I don't know. That's the thing. She's perfect for me, really. She knows what she wants out of life. She's doesn't take things sitting down. She's driven, she's organized, she knows how to handle herself in a wide variety of social situations. She's interested in working with the military..."
"Sounds like a fucking resume, Tank."
"That's the thing. On paper, she's perfect."
"But..."
He took a long breath. "But I don't love her. You know?"
Ripp said nothing. He just looked him over. It was a rare moment of seriousness from his brother, and Tank wasn't really sure what to make of it. "You don't love her?"
"No. We get along well enough, and the--you know--sex and all that is fine, but--"
"Fine... or good?"
"Good. Great, really. There's nothing wrong with it." Not that he'd know all that much about it, he figured, but he knew he enjoyed it well enough. They both got off, and had a pretty decent time in the process, so that had to count for something, right? "It's good, but there's just something missing."
"There's no passion," Ripp said. "You don't feel like you're going to die if you can't be with her. Like you need her to even fucking exist. Your every waking thought is about her, and you count the seconds until you're able to rip her clothes off and bury yourself in her body again. You don't have that?"
"Not at all."
"Then you need to move on, Tank. It's not fucking worth it."
Tank clenched on his teeth, and cracked his knuckles, one by one. Each crack drove a nail of irritation through the back of Ripp's head. "How the hell am I supposed to do that now?"
"I don't know! Just do it. Talk to her. It's better to do it now, and get it fucking over with. If you wait, it'll just be even more painful."
"I know," he said. "God, what a fucking hassle." He rolled his neck until it cracked, loudly. Ripp let out a long sigh.
"Look, Tank. I may not be an expert on the matter, but I do know better than to mess around with this shit. If it's not working, just let it go. If you find something that works, you need to cling to it with all your fucking might. If you waste your time with her, you might miss out on the woman of your dreams. You know?"
The woman of his dreams. Ripp had no idea how literal that statement really was.
"I thought you didn't believe in shit like that."
"Is that what you thought about me?" Ripp casually stood up and moved away from the snack bar.
"Well, yeah. You just sleep around and you don't worry about all that other crap - commitments, love, what have you. Maybe you have a point there. It's nothing but a headache."
"I'm in love with Ophelia."
Tank stared at him, blankly. "What?"
"Yeah, I'm completely fucking in love with her. She's it for me - all that all-consuming devotion and crap. She's The One." Tank continued to stare, in silence. "So you're wrong. I'm not above all that. I'm up to my fucking eyeballs in it."
"That's... Ripp, she's your best friend's girlfriend. Would you really do that to him? I thought you and Johnny were supposed to be bum buddies. Would you really hook up with his woman behind his back?"
"Well, I sort of already have."
"What? Are you serious? Have you lost your mind? Don't you think he'll probably kill you when he finds out?" From Tank's point of view, it would be an easy kill, since Johnny was capable of kicking even his ass. What hope did Ripp have?
"He knows."
There was a pause. "I don't understand."
"We're... well, we're both dating her, sort of." Tank said nothing, so Ripp continued. "It's hard to explain. It just sort of happened that way, over time."
"You're BOTH dating her? Are you kidding me? Are you insane? Are you both... sleeping with her?"
"Well... yeah."
"Not at the same time..." As Tank said the words, he instantly regretted them, because he didn't really want to know the answer. Not if it were true. Not at all.
Ripp didn't say anything.
"Ripp?!"
"Well, we do sleep in the same bed together sometimes." If there was more to it than that, he kept it to himself.
"What the fuck? I don't know why you're telling me this. Did you expect me to approve or something? To tell you that it's okay?"
"Well, you were sharing your troubles with me, so I thought maybe I'd do the same. You know, like we were actually brothers or something."
"Your troubles? For fuck's sake, Ripp. You can't even have normal troubles. Why do you have to be such a royal fuckup?"
"Nevermind, Tank," he snarled, "I should've fucking known better."
"You got that right. Fuck!"
"Fuck you."
"Well, really, though! How could you possibly think that was a good idea? It's fucked up!"
Tank expected him to explode back at him, but he didn't. Ripp hung his head, and started picking at his fingernail. "Yeah, maybe it is fucked up, but I don't care. I can't explain it, but... God, why am I even telling you this?"
Tank didn't respond. He changed the subject instead. "Listen, Ripp. Kendall is going to be waiting, so maybe we can continue this conversation later... if we must."
"No. It's okay. Let's just go."
They arrived at Kendall's place.
"Sorry we're late," Tank said.
"Oh, that's okay." Kendall glanced at Ripp with noticeable annoyance, though she tried to mask it. "I didn't know Ripp was coming with you."
"Yeah, that's okay, right?" Tank realized it was a little late to ask that now.
"Well, a little notice would have been better. Maybe next time?"
"Okay."
"I have dinner in the oven. It's vegetable lasagne. Is that okay?"
Ripp made a face, but then tried to hide it with a fake smile. Tank nodded, though he also seemed less than thrilled. "Yeah, sure. That's... fine." Kendall tried not to get frustrated, but it was hard.
"Okay, well I have some snacks here for us while we wait. It won't be ready for another little while. I wanted to tell you about my latest project." Again, she looked at Ripp. "I guess we can still do that. Anyway, the snacks tray is right here." She gestured to the counter next to her.
The snack was a vegetable platter.
"Help yourself, boys." They didn't. Kendall looked at Tank, and lifted her eyebrows, so he selected the least offensive item, which was a piece of carrot.
"Ripp?" she asked.
"I'm not really hungry," he said, but then his stomach growled and gave him away. "Okay, well maybe just one." He tried a celery stick, thinking they were mostly tasteless. He was wrong. It seemed like it took him forever to even chew it, but he had to persist, since Kendall was watching him.
The moved into the living room.
Kendall turned to Tank. "So I've completed the Servo."
"Really..."
"Yes, I've finally completed it. It's just the typical model for now, for doing household chores, but I'm also going to be working on a newer prototype for the military. This is the first step."
"That's great. Congratulations."
"What's a Servo?" asked Ripp.
"It's a robot," Tank said.
"Well, yes, but there's more to it than that," Kendall said. "They have personalities. They're almost human, in a sense. That's what we're working on. Making them more like sims."
"So how are you planning to modify it?" Tank asked.
"It's simple," she started.
"Umm..." Ripp interrupted.
"Yes, Ripp?" Kendall was impressed to see that he might be interested in what she had to say.
"Where would I find the bathroom?"
She sighed. "Upstairs. First door on your left."
"Sorry about bringing him," Tank said, after Ripp topped the stairs. "I didn't really think."
"No, you didn't, but it's okay."
"So how is the military planning to use the Servos? Have they told you?"
"No, I'm not sure, but in theory it's a way to copy someone's mind into a less mortal body. This could be very useful... if we were to find ourselves in the middle of a war."
Tank knew precisely what she was referrring to. "Yes."
"Also, they might have applications in space too."
"So what needs to be adjusted for them to be fully sim?"
"It's complicated. Right now, they do take on the personality of the initializer, and they do have conscious thought and free will, just like any other sim. Aspirations, wants, needs, the whole nine yards. But they aren't the person they're based on, not fully. Not yet."
Upstairs, Ripp had shook off and was leaving the bathroom. Tank and Kendall would both be appalled to know that he hadn't washed him hands, but that was his little secret. It wasn't liked he'd touched anything dirty. Anything he didn't touch dozens of times throughout the day.
As he entered the hall, he noticed the door to Kendall's workshop was open.
There it was: the Servo.
Ripp was intrigued, so he walked in.
He noticed the remote control next to the robot. Would there be any harm in testing it out? He could take a quick look, and they'd never know. His curiosity was getting the better of him.
"Hmmm, now what's all this?" he said, as he examined the remote. Ripp had a bad habit of talking to himself when nobody else was around.
Ripp read the prompts on the screen. "Male or female?"
"Female. Duh." He continued to read. "Please enter a name..." He chuckled to himself as he typed in a name. He was unaware that he was doing something irreversible. If he had known, he would likely have taken it more seriously, or one would hope so. He might not have named her Sugar Tits, but one can never be sure.
Ripp had no idea that, once created, this Servo would be an exact replica of him in all but his memories. She would have his personality, his aspirations in life, and his skills, and the name would also be permanent. Sugar Tits would be created in his own image. She would be a lazy, no good, chip-eating, soap-watching, highly emotional, horny robot.
She would be the world's most useless Servo.
A finger of electricity shot into his forehead, causing him to jump, but it quickly calmed him, sending a feeling of detached bliss all over his body. It was even better than being seriously bombed out on bubble, when your body was completely numb. It was like that, only happier. It was as if someone was tickling his brain. No, it was like they were slowly making love to it, taunting it, and teasing it. Then, after several moments, it reached a boiling point. For lack of a better word, it came.
He watched in awe as the Servo sprang to life.
There she was, standing before him.
Sugar Tits.
As she looked back at him, Ripp felt a strange kinship with the robot. It was as if he was looking into a mirror, but for the soul instead of appearance. He felt like he needed to connect with her in some way. She was a part of him. He wanted to... sing her a song? That didn't make sense. No, he wanted to take her out to dinner. He wanted to take her back to his place. He wanted, he wanted...
Ripp was suddenly filled with a very strong urge to mount the robot and find some opening, any opening, in its nether regions that would accomodate a certain appendage.
He wanted to fuck the Servo.
The feeling, aparently, was mutual.
"You're beautiful," said Sugar Tits.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. You're beautiful, and I want to kiss you."
"Okay," he purred. "Then kiss me." There was still a small part of his brain that told him this wasn't an incredibly smart idea, but it was being overpowered by his inexplicable carnal urges towards the attractive piece of metal that stood before him.
Sugar Tits kissed him, without hesitation. She didn't need to ask twice.
It didn't make any sense, but he was putty in the robot's hands.
He was making out with a robot. She didn't even really have lips. She tasted like metal. He shouldn't have enjoyed it, but he did. He enjoyed it very much.
He thought he'd done it all, but that was before he'd been with a robot. He liked robots, or this one at least. He liked her very, very much, and he intended to let her know that. He would show her just how much he liked her. He glanced around the room to find some place he could bend her over. He unzipped his pants.
"Oh my GOD!"
Behind him, Kendall screamed. "What are you DOING?!"
"I'm. I'm..." He stopped, shook his head, and thought about it. "I don't really know what I'm doing."
"You sure as hell don't! Do you even know what you've DONE?!"
"What's going on?" Tank asked, entering the room. "Oh dear God..."
Kendall turned to him. "Your brother! That's what's going on!"
"Oh shit. Fuck! Ripp, what are you doing?! Are you trying to fuck that robot?"
Ripp was still trying to zip up his fly. "I don't know! Yes? Yes, I think I am."
"What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"I don't know. I just - I don't know!"
"He initialized the Servo, that's what's wrong with him! He ruined the goddamn Servo!"
"Ruined it?"
"Yeah, now it's been imprinted with him! With his useless brain!"
"Hey!" Ripp protested.
Kendall kept going, as if he had said nothing. As if he wasn't even there. "He's trying to fuck her because he's a narcissistic idiot, and this is as close as he's ever going to get to fucking himself. He's a sad sick little fuck!"
"Hey, watch it! Kendall, just relax!" Tank yelled. "Just chill out! We can just fix it, right?"
"Fix it?! No, we can't FIX it! It's ruined! Your stupid brother ruined it! It's a goddamn Ripp-bot now!" She turned to Ripp, with frightening intensity. "You ruined it, you asshole! It can't be undone!"
"I didn't know!" Ripp cried. "I'm sorry - I had no idea!"
"Well, you messed around with something that wasn't your's! You came in here and started poking around at my things! And then you tried to stick your greasy little penis in it too!"
Ripp had nothing to say to defend himself. How could he? He really had just attempted to make sweet, sweet love to the Servo. He still wanted to. He tried to hide this fact by lowering his hands to waist height. He hoped she wouldn't notice.
"Do you have any idea how much effort went into this, you worthless little prick?! My sweat and bloody and tears went into this, and now it's imprinted with your sorry excuse for a brain!"
"Hey! Now that's enough! You can't talk about my brother like that! How dare you!"
"What?! You say it all the time!"
"That's different! When I say it, I still love him! And I'm not going to just stand here and let you call him a worthless piece of shit!"
"Are you kidding me? You're siding with HIM?"
"He's my BROTHER! Of course I'm siding with him! What did you expect?!"
"Well, it's nice to know where you're loyalties lie!"
"Loyalties? LOYALTIES?!" Tank roared. "Listen, Kendall. My loyalties are always with my family! And if you want to have anything to do with me, you're going to have to learn to deal with them. If you're with me, then Ripp is part of that. I have to deal with him, so you have to deal with him too, okay?! It's not optional! He's my fucking brother! Get used to it!"
"Fuck that."
"What?"
"I said... Fuck. That. Fuck that, Tank! If that's how it is, you can see yourself to the door".
Tank paused, and they stared at each other with steely eyes. "Alright, then. If that's the way it's going to be."
"It is. I've had it with THIS." She gestured around her, at Tank, and at Ripp. "Everything about this relationship. I've had it. It's bad enough that you're not man enough to take things to the next level, and you can't even side with me in an argument, but I'm not going to be associated with your stupid fucking WHORE of a brother."
Tank grabbed the nearest thing he could find, which wasn't Ripp, but only because he had enough sense to duck for cover, and threw it across the room.
The chair snapped into two pieces and left a sizeable dent in the wall. He wasn't even aware he was doing it until it had already happened.
Kendall's eyes widened, but she took a deep breath and kept her cool. "Well, that was very mature," she snarled. "Men! You're like a bunch of children. Like savages!" Tank didn't say anything, but he shook with rage. "Why don't you get the fuck out of my house, Tank? You know where the door is."
Tank shot Ripp a look and he silently and quickly followed him out of the house.
"Don't forget the Servo," Kendall said, directing her to follow behind them. "You break it, you buy it. I'll be sending you the bill."
They stood outside the door, dumbfounded.
"Well, I sure fucked that up and right back down again," Ripp said.
"Yeah."
"I don't even know what to say," he said. "Just... I'm sorry, I guess. I had no idea."
"Don't worry about it. At least it cleared up the whole Kendall thing. I sure saw her true colours, didn't I? Well, fuck her."
"To be fair, I did fuck up a very expensive robot."
"Heh. Well, I'm paying for it, aparently, so it'd be nice if could chip in too."
After a moment or two, Ripp turned around, and produced a smile. "Did you really mean what you said to her? About me?"
Tank put his hand on Ripp's shoulder. "Absolutely."
"Well, I love you too, Tank. Sometimes. Even though I sort of hate you too."
"Oh, I didn't say I didn't hate you." He smiled.
"Fucker."
"Asshole."
"Want to go get something to eat somewhere?" Ripp asked.
"Only if it's soaked in grease, and doesn't involve a single vegetable. Well, maybe a pickle."
"You're preaching to the choir."
"How about... it? Her, I guess. Does she eat?"
"I don't know. Fucking ask her, Tank. They talk, you know." He turned to address the robot.
"Hey, Tits. Do you eat food?"
"Nah. I don't need to."
"Wow. That's a drag."
"Tell me about it."
"Tits?" Tank asked.
"Yes?" Tits asked.
"Oh," Ripp said, "Yeah, her name is Sugar Tits, by the way. Sorry about that. I thought it was funny."
Tank sighed. "What the hell am I supposed to do with a robot?" Ripp was about to say something, but he cut him off. "Don't answer that."
They began to walk.
"Tank, I have a confession to make."
"Oh God..." Tank was afraid to know.
"When we were younger, I used to sometimes take your toothbrush and scrub the toilet with it when you pissed me off."
Tank smiled, serenely. "No you didn't."
"Oh, I'm pretty sure I did."
"That wasn't my toothbrush."
"What? Then who? It wasn't mine."
"It was a decoy."
"What? No fucking way."
"It's true. I knew you were doing that, because you're fucking stupid and loud and obvious. So I hid it. My real toothbrush was strapped to the bottom of my bed."
"You crafty little fucker."
"Yeah. So don't underestimate me, okay? I'm the big brother for a reason."
"Yeah, it's called birth order, you douchebag."
"I call it order of importance."
Ripp scoffed. "That's not true. Buck is way more important than I am." A smile spread wide and smarmy across his face.
"You said it. Come on - let's go eat some grease."
"Oh yeah, baby."
"Heh. What a day, huh?" Tank asked.
"Yeah, I'm almost afraid to know what's going to happen next."
Ripp should have been afraid. He had no idea what awaited him later that night.
Notes:
Now Tank has two Ripps in his life, or close to it. Poor Tank. I do like to torture him.
The experience felt during the Servo initialization process is unique to the sim, and very much based on their aspiration, which is why Ripp experienced it as an orgasm of the brain. A family sim might feel as if their brain was giving birth to something, and a fortune sim might feel like they're paying out like a slot machine, and so on.
The intense attraction between Ripp and Tits is also the product of him being a romance sim, for the story side of things, but the Servo/initializer chemistry is usually high in-game anyway. They really are that attracted to each other. She's number three or four on his chemistry list, and they have three bolts. Ripp has three bolts with over 10 different sims, btw - it's because he "wished for beauty" from the genie, and he has that FT romance bonus. Literally every sim who likes boys will heartfart over Ripp. FT really did amp up the romance sims that way.
Tits also has two bolts for Tank. *snicker* That could be interesting. I'm thinking of letting her be bisexual, and I'm sure she will provide me with plenty of comic relief while playing. Her LTW is to become a Professional Party Guest, which also amuses me (will she start a grow op with the career reward? Very likely). Great Servo you have there, Tank.
I laughed at Peter Ottomas watching Tank and Ripp bowl. In one shot, he even looks like he's about to take a photo for the newspaper. :P I keep hoping ACR will help him choose someone to cheat on his wife with, while I'm not controlling him, but so far he's been faithful, as far as I know. Good for you, Peter. Good for you.