Even Tiny Historical Shoulder Personages Get the Blues
A Very Pleasant Pineapple, Even for Those Who Willingly Consume Bunny Hugs:
Two parts dark rum. Like Wittgenstein's impostor syndrome clouds.
One part light rum. Because we'd like to get drunk.
One part water or ice. Because dark rum.
Two parts pineapple juice, or one part water and one part pureed roasted pineapple (see below). Because I LIKE GIRLY FUCKING DRINKS OKAY.
Chicory-infused simple syrup, to float. Because life is bitter, bitter, bitter, even when you have a huge family fortune.
GARNISH WITH A MARASCHINO CHERRY AND THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL/allcaps.
Optional: honey powder or luster dust to make the pineapple-skin-score pattern on the syrup float.
NB I would use a vanilla cherry in the manner of Thomas Keller, but I am a girl who swans about drinking girly things. When I drink. Which is ha ha ha ha never.
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1 whole pineapple
3/4 cup to 1 cup light brown sugar
2 T. soft butter
1 T. Amaretto
1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
2. Remove the skin and crown of the pineapple, core and cut into thick half-moon slices. Grease a 13x9 inch roasting pan with the soft butter. Sprinkle half of the brown sugar on the bottom, and fan the pineapple slices over it.
3. Sprinkle remaining brown sugar evenly over the surface of the pineapple.
4. Roast the hell out of it, e.g. until wilted, caramelized, even slightly black edged, add the amaretto to the juices, and puree some. Serve the nonpuree over ice cream.