Round 3 Strangers: Legend of the Seeker
Legend of the Seeker
Vid Used
"Doll Parts" by hollywoodgrrl (hollywoodgrrl @ livejournal.com)
download: http://community.livejournal.com/sync_slaying/16065.html
Grokker Synopsis
Legend of the Seeker is a tv series based off the Sword of Truth novels written by Terry Goodkind. It takes place in New Zealand a place called the Midlands where very pretteh people the main characters and their very pretteh hair travel across the most gorgeous place on the planet to kill the big bad.
The heroes:
Richard Cypher, our wide eyed ingenue. He once was a simple woodsguide raised without any knowledge of magic, recently turned Seeker of Truth, deliverer of Justice for all the Midlands complete with a shiny prophecy that he's the only person in the world who can defeat the Big Bad in our story. Richard is our focus character, through him we get a lot of the explanations for this crazy world of magic.
Kahlan Amnell, she of the gorgeous hair. Kahlan belongs to a special order of women called Confessors, who were created as a means of ascertaining the truth beyond all doubt. Kahlan is our cynic, and our historian. She tells us how things are in the Midlands and then argues with Richard about whether tradition should be upheld.
Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander, Wizard of the First Order and comic relief all around. Zedd understands the need for balance in the world and is often the most pragmatic of the three.
The Baddies:
Darken Rahl, insane meglomaniac who wants to bring the whole world under his rule so that there will be peace. Think Jasmine from Angel except he doesn't have 'godly' powers yet, but he's working on that.
The Mord Sith, an elite group of women who were created for the purpose of protecting the Lord of D'Hara against people/creatures who have magic. Think bondage Barbie.
Denna, The Mord Sith who was in charge of training (more on that later) Richard for Darken Rahl.
General Summary:
Our heroes are pitted in a battle against Darken Rahl a man who seeks to bring all of the Midlands under his rule, crushing all enemies with the might of his armies and his chestvests. Richard is destined to be the person who will stop him from achieving his megalomaniacal endeavours but the road ahead is a long and dangerous one.
What's going on in this vid!?:
This vid is so brilliantly put together. So many of the parts seem like they are from the same episode but they're actually not. It opens with Denna, the blond Mord Sith. She is also the one with the nice ass hanging from the chains and being tortured by Darken Rahl. She was being tortured because she had failed Rahl in that Richard got away and was still alive.
Richard's sword kept glowing because the Mord Sith have the power to take whatever magic is being used against them and inflict it back on the user to cause them great pain whenever the Mord Sith wants. Richard looks so pretteh hanging and being tortured doesn't he?
Kahlan is the one wearing the white dress and ends up strapped to a pole. This is a different episode where Gillar, Darken Rahl's bum bitch wizard, is doing experiments to try and cultivate the power of the Confessors so he could make one.
Confessors like the Mord Sith were created: the Mord Sith through pain, Confessors through magic, to serve a purpose for the Midlands and D'Hara. Both sects are focused on protecting opposing forces, Rahl seeks to rule all of D'Hara and the Mord Sith protect him at all costs while Confessors protect freedom to choose and the law of the land. HWG attempts to show us the similarities between these two groups in her video "Dollparts"
Confessors have the power to 'touch' someone with their magic and have them fall instantly and irrevocably in love with them to the point where the person they were before is all but erased replaced by this obsession with pleasing their confessor. This power is used on criminals to determine their guilt or innocence.
The red rod that's inflicting all this pain is called an agiel, think magical taser. It's the weapon that's used to train a Mord Sith (and by train we mean create an obedient slave who will do whatever you want so long as you stop hurting them!) what the Mord Sith use to train others in the hopes of getting them to do whatever Rahl wants. It inflicts pain on both the user and the person being tortured, and can kill someone if held against them for too long.
I've tried to keep this to a minimum amount of spoilers and thus left out a lot of the plot. But the Mord Sith do not play a major role in the TV series. They are only part of the episodal plot in three episodes (though there are a few others where they randomly show up). The show is about Richard's journey as he works on fulfilling the prophecy of killing Darken Rahl.
Stranger Synopses
Stranger 1
All I knew about this fandom was:
Judging from the name, high fantasy. And I think it's anime?
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Okay, this is not an anime. Somebody filmed a romance novel. The best kind of historical romance novel, with lots of sexy torture and phallic symbols and overwrought passions and total anachronism! There are two main female characters, Boring Dark-Haired Girl and Blonde Dominatrix. And there are also two main male characters, an older barbarian cheiftain type who doesn't wear shirts and whose sweat smells of beef broth, and a young callow guy. I suspect the show wants us to root for Dark-Haired Girl, but Blonde Dominatrix is both more interesting and more sympathetic, so fandom loves her better.
She used to be a boring wet rag just like Dark-Haired Girl, innocent and happy, but then Beef Broth betrayed her, strung her up from the ceiling, and tortured her. Now she is the leader of a tribe of leather-clad Amazons who really like stabbing people in the stomach with magical dildoes. (I hope this involves mpreg somehow!) Now that she's all strong and cynical and morally ambiguous and stuff, she has a love-hate-sex-torture relationship going on with Beef Broth.
Dark-Haired Girl has a thing for Beef Broth and thinks she can reform him, so Dominatrix captures her and tortures DHG the same way Beef Broth tortured her back in the day. Young and Callow is determined to rescue DHG with his magic glowing sword that is not at all a symbol of his frustrated, repressed sexuality. But instead, Dominatrix captures him and teaches him about the joy of BDSM, thereby turning him against DHG, probably also playing on their mutual hatred for Beef Broth. See, Beef Broth also has a thing for Young and Callow, but never found him interesting enough to do more than toy with him. When Callow sees Dominatrix and Beef Broth making out, he realizes he's been a fool and finds his own strength and power. Beef Broth is mildly impressed by this, and decides to team up with DHG and No-Longer-Callow to help them fight Dominatrix.
They escape, in a fight that involves lots of dildoes-in-stomachs (big crop of mpreg babies next year, I guess), but Dominatrix and her Amazons recapture DHG and drag her off to an altar to be sacrificed, presumably as part of some Evil Magic Plan. But they use Teamwork to defeat her, including Beef Broth's tactical skill, No-Longer-Callow's newfound Destiny Powers, and DHG's unexpected punching-rivals-in-the-face-while-wearing-a-white-dress ability. Dominatrix is foiled! Dark Haired Girl, No-Longer-Callow, and Beef Broth live happily ever after! (DHG probably ends up with Callow, unless he's actually her brother. She may or may not be aware that Callow is totally fucking Beef Broth on the side.)
Dominatrix is SAD and LONELY and ABANDONED and WEEPS A SINGLE TEAR. Luckily, she still has a bunch of hot kinky Amazons with dildoes, so she's not entirely bereft. And she almost can't help wishing the other three well, in memory of who she used to be.
THE END
(though I want to see the sequel where it turns out Callow is carrying Dominatrix's stomach-dildo baby.)
Stranger 2
All I knew about this fandom was:
Okay, I did watch part the first episode on TV and all I know is that the pilot from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome is in it. I probably watched a good 15 minutes, but I truly have no clue what the show is about. There's a kid? And a sword? And it's based on a series of books?
Here's what this fandom is really about:
I WAS WRONG IT'S BONDAGE PORN. AWESOME. (Except, gah, I hate this song due to extreme overexposure in my young teen years. My brother thought Courtney Love was the bees' knees and talked all the time about how she was so misunderstood and she really wrote most of Kurt Cobain's songs.)
There is a blonde girl who has passed her hazing test (like in a gang) to become the Mistress of the Dungeon and she hires slaves to star in her internet porn. Her favorite co-star, a scruffy but oddly alluring man with long dirty hair, tries to steal her best whips and chains and stuff and sell them on eBay, but the Mistress punishes him. Having failed in his first attempt, scruffy guy hires two barely legal friends to infiltrate the dungeon (and indulge their fetish fantasies at the same time) and distract the Mistress while he again tries to steal her tools. The barely legal friends, a brunette and another scruffy but alluring fellow, turn out to actually not be legal, and the dungeon is shut down and the Mistress sent to jail, where she is beaten by other Mistresses (it's like a franchise, Doms R Us). But it's all just a trick, because they're filming the whole thing as more internet porn. Ho ho, Mistress! What jollity! At the end, the Mistress surprises them all with starring roles in a snuff film. Who's laughing now, scruffy guy?
I can't imagine that this series is still around considering it looks like everyone gets killed all the time, but then again I did watch Xena, and she died like five times. I can see that this is a well crafted vid, and the visuals are pretty cool, but this show looks like it sucks ass.
Stranger 3
All I knew about this fandom was:
(did not specify)
Here's what this fandom is really about:
This is a show about S/M, ripping off Lord of the Rings, and poking people with dildoes. There. I said it.
There's a blond domme in tight red leather and she has a really big dildo she likes to poke people with. Only this is TV, so she pokes them in the stomach and not in other, more fun places. But we get the point, believe me. I'm gonna call the domme "Poky" due to her constant poking behavior.
Poky also likes to hang people from the ceiling and stroke them with her sexy, sexy leather-gloved fingertips. Possibly this is foreplay, or maybe she just doesn't like them very much. Or maybe she likes them a whole lot. She seems to do this mainly to hot young shirtless men with ratty hair and a general Aragornian mode of presentation. "Stubble check? Still manly!" They all have rather nice chests, and they are somewhat oily a la Dante's Cove.
There's one main dude, let's call him Strider, shall we? I think it's pretty clear that Strider was once a dom who liked to hang Poky from the ceiling, back when she, too, had the Ratty Hair of Submission. No stubble, though.
In between the S/M games there's a lot of running around in the woods. Is it a big game of tag? Are they playing paintball? Are they seeking new people to kidnap and hang from the ceiling? I'm pretty sure its the latter thing, because there's a whole group of dommes in red leather, including a very beautiful black woman, and some white guys with hoods or helmets to provide additional muscle. Somebody also has a red glowing sword, because you can never have two many phallic symbols in one show.
In a slashy subplot, Strider fights a fresh-faced young lad, let's call him Gym Queen on account of his disturbingly defined abs and lats. He's bumpy. It scares me. Anyway, Strider beats Gym Queen in the face and, predictably, hangs him from the ceiling in his dungeon. It's gotta be a dungeon -- it's got torches. There's also some stomach-poking with a dildo, just for variety. Poky rescues Gym Queen (not without a little stomach-poking of her own) and makes sweet, tender love to his broken body before offering him a surprising replacement in the form of Arwen. Okay, she's not Arwen, but she's totally wearing the Generic Fantasy Maiden/Lady of Shalott Default Dress #1, and she has long brown hair. Clearly she must be Strider's elfy girlfriend, right?
There's a lot of kissing, from which I infer that this is a really swinging group. Dildoes, manacles, and wife-swapping for everybody! This is some party, if you get my drift. Occasionally people seem a little upset, but it all looks like the tearful emo of blissful submission to me.
Eventually, Poky gets pissed off, kills a bunch of people with ritual stomach-pokings, and there are glowy eyes and screaming and long pointy things going into round holes just in case you forgot that this is All Very Sexy. Then, in my favorite twist-ending ever, Arwen punches Poky in the face! Everyone rejoices! Applause, laughter, the release of a dozen white doves! Okay, I made up that last part. Poky is bloody and bitter, but poised for a comeback next season -- just you wait!
Stranger 4
All I knew about this fandom was:
I've never heard of it but I think it sounds like an anime or perhaps a video game?
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Fashion is really important in this film, also rather strange. Leather seems to be popular, especially red leather. I'm completely fascinated by the obvious sex toys (red stick things) which also get used as weapons.
I'm going to call the blond girl Gina (just because), she's married to the dude in the leather vest, let's call him Luke. This is their wedding video. It's very kinky. I approve.
Some friends of theirs participate also, they did this instead of having a wedding reception, figuring the cost would be about the same.
Luke's aunt was mildly disapproving but all in all it was a very good day. It's a bit of a shame that we can't hear the original audio since all the dialogue is in a language they invented themselves (based loosely on Welsh).
Luke and Gina live in Minnesota, they have two dogs.
The plot: The queen of At'cheng (played by Gina) is captured in a plan hatched by a lord from the neighbouring country (Luke) looking to get a better deal in the up coming trade negotiations, torture and inappropriate touching ensues. After some time in captivity the queen has succumbed to a bad case of Stockholm's syndrome and when her fiancé shows up in an ill thought trough attempt to rescue her she participates in torturing him.
I fail to see how this vid could be read in a non kinky context, I'm very curious about the canon now.
Stranger 5
All I knew about this fandom was:
I had seen notices of vids in the fandom go by on the various vidding communities, but, uh, I thought it was based on a children's book I hadn't read, so I never downloaded them.
Hint for those equally confused: this is not based on a children's book. I've read extensively in the field, and hardly any books for kids feature prolonged BDSM sequences.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Parasitic aliens that look strangely like braids. They attach themselves to people's heads and take over their brains. Kind of like the Goa'uld from SG1, except prettier and more interested in herbal conditioners.
So, our heroine, who I will call She Who Apparently Buys Talcum Powder in Bulk, is one day enjoying a happy fun session of bondage with her Dom, who I will call Fantasizes about Being Aragorn, Except in His Version, Instead of Saving the World, He Introduces Rivendell to the Joys of High-Quality Shackles and Horsewhips. Just, you know, hanging out! In chains. In a little leather skirt. Who hasn't done that?
And then the aliens come and one - the queen of the braid beasts, in fact - attaches itself to her head.
Suddenly, Buys Talcum Powder in Bulk's mind is transported to Braid World, a place where she wears a skintight bodysuit and stabs people in the stomach with a long blunt stick that is in no way phallic. At all. She is the dominant one in this world (because, hey, the other braid girls don't have queens on their heads), and she makes all love her and despair. And then she penetrates their stomachs. Entirely unsuggestively.
Meanwhile, of course, her body is still in the real world, and to everyone there, she appears to be comatose. Fantasizes about Being Aragorn calls for emergency services, and after he has some uncomfortable conversations featuring a lot of repetitions of the word "consensual," she is taken off for treatment.
They try everything: medications, whipping, little puppet shows where she's encouraged to act out her trauma. But nothing works, because the braid beast is showing her how she has really hot sexual chemistry with this woman (Wears White but Probably Does Not Mean It As a Comment on Her Purity Test Score), and Buys Talcum Powder in Bulk is too busy having a profoundly homoerotic fight to play with puppets. (You would be, too.)
Significantly, the vid ends with a close up on the braid beast, indicating that Buys Talcum Powder in Bulk is totally subsumed, controlled, helpless - doomed forever to live in her own world.
One where she wears a lot of leather, is worshipped by everyone, and can kick any passing ass.
Tragic.
Stranger 6
All I knew about this fandom was:
Zero.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Lady Betsy "Bitcherella" Hooligan, kingdom-renowned for her extreme blondeness, was a sado-masochistical dominatrix of the highest order. She had recently been hired by Lord Butch "Itchy-Crotch" Maroon to help him celebrate his fiefdom's annual festival, colloquially known throughout the land as "Them That Die From The Slowest Blood Loss Win." Lord Butch, himself, was infamous for having once come in second out of a field of three in his liege's impromptu "Christopher Lambert's Clone" contest.
Stranger 7
All I knew about this fandom was:
The title. And that there was a pouty boy-man in it somewhere.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Legend of the Seeker is a fantastical tale about a Dominatrix Princess who lived in a castle far, far away and her penchant for a stick and meaningful walks in wooded areas. What? You need more? Well, you asked.
Once upon a time there was a Dominatrix Princess with spiffy blonde hair who got off on red pleather and feeling herself up. Sharing the castle with her was another blonde (who may or may not have been the same one reduced to wearing a pleather mini-skirt and a whole mess of dirt). This one had spent hours down the castle gym on the weight machines developing excellent upper body strength so that swinging from the ceiling on chains attached to her wrists was a mere inconvenience. Dirty Blonde attracted the attention of Dark and Brooding (probably also Vaguely Evil since he had hints of goatee about him).
Dominatrix Blonde (who still may or may not have also been Dirty Blonde) had a thing for a stick. A very special red stick. She liked to take this stick with her wherever she went. It was, shall we say, her security stick--she probably took it to bed with her and cuddled it in her sleep. As well as her much beloved stick, Dominatrix Blonde was also in charge of an army of Pleather Babes who all liked to walk meaningfully through a forest.
Dominatrix Blonde and Dark, Brooding and Vaguely evil were also avid weapons collectors. Unlike most collectors who like to keep their weapons all cleaned and locked up and nicely displayed in glass cabinets, however, these two were big fans of practical weapons use, particularly if it involved fighting Pouty Boy-Man who it was possible was also Sweaty Hung Up By Chains Guy, though it was difficult to tell given all the sweating. I assumed yes. It was also possible that Dominatrix/Dirty Blonde and Pouty Boy-Man/Sweaty Hung Up By Chains Guy were two sets of twins and it was all just a comedy of errors, tra la. In the end they would team up to defeat Dark, Brooding and Vaguely Evil and they'd get married and share a house in a way that wasn't creepy at all. But I digress.
So. Pouty Boy-Man annoyed Dominatrix Blonde and Dark, Brooding and Vaguely Evil so much by not letting them walk meaningfully through the forest any more that they decided to torture him. And kiss him. It was possible there was a conflict of interest happening somewhere. It probably had to do with the twins. Hmm, wait.
Suddenly! There appeared in the castle a Brief Brunette who also had trouble with the sweating (I do believe the palace had yet to upgrade to AC, you just try fitting it into the budget what with all the silver polish for the swords and the Vaseline and baby powder for all the pleather). She could not quite break through into the same reality as there was too much kissing and sweating being done by the others. Some of it tastefully black and white, and as we all know, that repels brunettes. She stole some hairpins and disappeared.
Dominatrix Blonde did not notice the stolen hairpins because she was too busy being upset by Pouty Boy-Man stealing her special stick. Didn't he know she couldn't fall asleep without it? There was the twirly tassel thing that she liked to wrap around her finger see, and...um. She proved her attachment to the stick by crying about it in flashback.
In fact, so enraged was she by this abuse of her favourite sleep-toy that she used it to kill all the people who wished to prevent her walking meaningfully through the forest. By this point, the Pleather Babes were entirely bored by her random crying jags over a stick and off they trooped to the local toy store to buy a jigsaw puzzle that would make Pouty Boy-Man's eyes glow. (At least, I hope it was the puzzle. I'd hate to think where they might have been putting their own special red sticks to make his eyes go all supernova.) It passed the time and took their minds off the chafing.
The Brief Brunette then made a last gasp attempt to break through to this reality (she possibly also wished to wear pleather, the fabric of the gods) via the medium of a puppet theatre, but Dominatrix Blonde foiled her cunning plan. Brief Brunette, angry and distraught, threw down with Dominatrix Blonde in the Forest of Meaningful Walking while Dark, Brooding and Vaguely Evil and Pouty Boy-Man stood by, all, "Yeah, suck it, bitch!" as Brief Brunette's man stunt double punched her out.
Unable to walk meaningfully through the forest ever again, Dominatrix Blonde retired to lick her wounds. And probably her stick. Ew.
And they all lived unhappily ever after.
Vid Used
"Doll Parts" by hollywoodgrrl (hollywoodgrrl @ livejournal.com)
download: http://community.livejournal.com/sync_slaying/16065.html
Grokker Synopsis
Legend of the Seeker is a tv series based off the Sword of Truth novels written by Terry Goodkind. It takes place in New Zealand a place called the Midlands where very pretteh people the main characters and their very pretteh hair travel across the most gorgeous place on the planet to kill the big bad.
The heroes:
Richard Cypher, our wide eyed ingenue. He once was a simple woodsguide raised without any knowledge of magic, recently turned Seeker of Truth, deliverer of Justice for all the Midlands complete with a shiny prophecy that he's the only person in the world who can defeat the Big Bad in our story. Richard is our focus character, through him we get a lot of the explanations for this crazy world of magic.
Kahlan Amnell, she of the gorgeous hair. Kahlan belongs to a special order of women called Confessors, who were created as a means of ascertaining the truth beyond all doubt. Kahlan is our cynic, and our historian. She tells us how things are in the Midlands and then argues with Richard about whether tradition should be upheld.
Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander, Wizard of the First Order and comic relief all around. Zedd understands the need for balance in the world and is often the most pragmatic of the three.
The Baddies:
Darken Rahl, insane meglomaniac who wants to bring the whole world under his rule so that there will be peace. Think Jasmine from Angel except he doesn't have 'godly' powers yet, but he's working on that.
The Mord Sith, an elite group of women who were created for the purpose of protecting the Lord of D'Hara against people/creatures who have magic. Think bondage Barbie.
Denna, The Mord Sith who was in charge of training (more on that later) Richard for Darken Rahl.
General Summary:
Our heroes are pitted in a battle against Darken Rahl a man who seeks to bring all of the Midlands under his rule, crushing all enemies with the might of his armies and his chestvests. Richard is destined to be the person who will stop him from achieving his megalomaniacal endeavours but the road ahead is a long and dangerous one.
What's going on in this vid!?:
This vid is so brilliantly put together. So many of the parts seem like they are from the same episode but they're actually not. It opens with Denna, the blond Mord Sith. She is also the one with the nice ass hanging from the chains and being tortured by Darken Rahl. She was being tortured because she had failed Rahl in that Richard got away and was still alive.
Richard's sword kept glowing because the Mord Sith have the power to take whatever magic is being used against them and inflict it back on the user to cause them great pain whenever the Mord Sith wants. Richard looks so pretteh hanging and being tortured doesn't he?
Kahlan is the one wearing the white dress and ends up strapped to a pole. This is a different episode where Gillar, Darken Rahl's bum bitch wizard, is doing experiments to try and cultivate the power of the Confessors so he could make one.
Confessors like the Mord Sith were created: the Mord Sith through pain, Confessors through magic, to serve a purpose for the Midlands and D'Hara. Both sects are focused on protecting opposing forces, Rahl seeks to rule all of D'Hara and the Mord Sith protect him at all costs while Confessors protect freedom to choose and the law of the land. HWG attempts to show us the similarities between these two groups in her video "Dollparts"
Confessors have the power to 'touch' someone with their magic and have them fall instantly and irrevocably in love with them to the point where the person they were before is all but erased replaced by this obsession with pleasing their confessor. This power is used on criminals to determine their guilt or innocence.
The red rod that's inflicting all this pain is called an agiel, think magical taser. It's the weapon that's used to train a Mord Sith (and by train we mean create an obedient slave who will do whatever you want so long as you stop hurting them!) what the Mord Sith use to train others in the hopes of getting them to do whatever Rahl wants. It inflicts pain on both the user and the person being tortured, and can kill someone if held against them for too long.
I've tried to keep this to a minimum amount of spoilers and thus left out a lot of the plot. But the Mord Sith do not play a major role in the TV series. They are only part of the episodal plot in three episodes (though there are a few others where they randomly show up). The show is about Richard's journey as he works on fulfilling the prophecy of killing Darken Rahl.
Stranger Synopses
Stranger 1
All I knew about this fandom was:
Judging from the name, high fantasy. And I think it's anime?
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Okay, this is not an anime. Somebody filmed a romance novel. The best kind of historical romance novel, with lots of sexy torture and phallic symbols and overwrought passions and total anachronism! There are two main female characters, Boring Dark-Haired Girl and Blonde Dominatrix. And there are also two main male characters, an older barbarian cheiftain type who doesn't wear shirts and whose sweat smells of beef broth, and a young callow guy. I suspect the show wants us to root for Dark-Haired Girl, but Blonde Dominatrix is both more interesting and more sympathetic, so fandom loves her better.
She used to be a boring wet rag just like Dark-Haired Girl, innocent and happy, but then Beef Broth betrayed her, strung her up from the ceiling, and tortured her. Now she is the leader of a tribe of leather-clad Amazons who really like stabbing people in the stomach with magical dildoes. (I hope this involves mpreg somehow!) Now that she's all strong and cynical and morally ambiguous and stuff, she has a love-hate-sex-torture relationship going on with Beef Broth.
Dark-Haired Girl has a thing for Beef Broth and thinks she can reform him, so Dominatrix captures her and tortures DHG the same way Beef Broth tortured her back in the day. Young and Callow is determined to rescue DHG with his magic glowing sword that is not at all a symbol of his frustrated, repressed sexuality. But instead, Dominatrix captures him and teaches him about the joy of BDSM, thereby turning him against DHG, probably also playing on their mutual hatred for Beef Broth. See, Beef Broth also has a thing for Young and Callow, but never found him interesting enough to do more than toy with him. When Callow sees Dominatrix and Beef Broth making out, he realizes he's been a fool and finds his own strength and power. Beef Broth is mildly impressed by this, and decides to team up with DHG and No-Longer-Callow to help them fight Dominatrix.
They escape, in a fight that involves lots of dildoes-in-stomachs (big crop of mpreg babies next year, I guess), but Dominatrix and her Amazons recapture DHG and drag her off to an altar to be sacrificed, presumably as part of some Evil Magic Plan. But they use Teamwork to defeat her, including Beef Broth's tactical skill, No-Longer-Callow's newfound Destiny Powers, and DHG's unexpected punching-rivals-in-the-face-while-wearing-a-white-dress ability. Dominatrix is foiled! Dark Haired Girl, No-Longer-Callow, and Beef Broth live happily ever after! (DHG probably ends up with Callow, unless he's actually her brother. She may or may not be aware that Callow is totally fucking Beef Broth on the side.)
Dominatrix is SAD and LONELY and ABANDONED and WEEPS A SINGLE TEAR. Luckily, she still has a bunch of hot kinky Amazons with dildoes, so she's not entirely bereft. And she almost can't help wishing the other three well, in memory of who she used to be.
THE END
(though I want to see the sequel where it turns out Callow is carrying Dominatrix's stomach-dildo baby.)
Stranger 2
All I knew about this fandom was:
Okay, I did watch part the first episode on TV and all I know is that the pilot from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome is in it. I probably watched a good 15 minutes, but I truly have no clue what the show is about. There's a kid? And a sword? And it's based on a series of books?
Here's what this fandom is really about:
I WAS WRONG IT'S BONDAGE PORN. AWESOME. (Except, gah, I hate this song due to extreme overexposure in my young teen years. My brother thought Courtney Love was the bees' knees and talked all the time about how she was so misunderstood and she really wrote most of Kurt Cobain's songs.)
There is a blonde girl who has passed her hazing test (like in a gang) to become the Mistress of the Dungeon and she hires slaves to star in her internet porn. Her favorite co-star, a scruffy but oddly alluring man with long dirty hair, tries to steal her best whips and chains and stuff and sell them on eBay, but the Mistress punishes him. Having failed in his first attempt, scruffy guy hires two barely legal friends to infiltrate the dungeon (and indulge their fetish fantasies at the same time) and distract the Mistress while he again tries to steal her tools. The barely legal friends, a brunette and another scruffy but alluring fellow, turn out to actually not be legal, and the dungeon is shut down and the Mistress sent to jail, where she is beaten by other Mistresses (it's like a franchise, Doms R Us). But it's all just a trick, because they're filming the whole thing as more internet porn. Ho ho, Mistress! What jollity! At the end, the Mistress surprises them all with starring roles in a snuff film. Who's laughing now, scruffy guy?
I can't imagine that this series is still around considering it looks like everyone gets killed all the time, but then again I did watch Xena, and she died like five times. I can see that this is a well crafted vid, and the visuals are pretty cool, but this show looks like it sucks ass.
Stranger 3
All I knew about this fandom was:
(did not specify)
Here's what this fandom is really about:
This is a show about S/M, ripping off Lord of the Rings, and poking people with dildoes. There. I said it.
There's a blond domme in tight red leather and she has a really big dildo she likes to poke people with. Only this is TV, so she pokes them in the stomach and not in other, more fun places. But we get the point, believe me. I'm gonna call the domme "Poky" due to her constant poking behavior.
Poky also likes to hang people from the ceiling and stroke them with her sexy, sexy leather-gloved fingertips. Possibly this is foreplay, or maybe she just doesn't like them very much. Or maybe she likes them a whole lot. She seems to do this mainly to hot young shirtless men with ratty hair and a general Aragornian mode of presentation. "Stubble check? Still manly!" They all have rather nice chests, and they are somewhat oily a la Dante's Cove.
There's one main dude, let's call him Strider, shall we? I think it's pretty clear that Strider was once a dom who liked to hang Poky from the ceiling, back when she, too, had the Ratty Hair of Submission. No stubble, though.
In between the S/M games there's a lot of running around in the woods. Is it a big game of tag? Are they playing paintball? Are they seeking new people to kidnap and hang from the ceiling? I'm pretty sure its the latter thing, because there's a whole group of dommes in red leather, including a very beautiful black woman, and some white guys with hoods or helmets to provide additional muscle. Somebody also has a red glowing sword, because you can never have two many phallic symbols in one show.
In a slashy subplot, Strider fights a fresh-faced young lad, let's call him Gym Queen on account of his disturbingly defined abs and lats. He's bumpy. It scares me. Anyway, Strider beats Gym Queen in the face and, predictably, hangs him from the ceiling in his dungeon. It's gotta be a dungeon -- it's got torches. There's also some stomach-poking with a dildo, just for variety. Poky rescues Gym Queen (not without a little stomach-poking of her own) and makes sweet, tender love to his broken body before offering him a surprising replacement in the form of Arwen. Okay, she's not Arwen, but she's totally wearing the Generic Fantasy Maiden/Lady of Shalott Default Dress #1, and she has long brown hair. Clearly she must be Strider's elfy girlfriend, right?
There's a lot of kissing, from which I infer that this is a really swinging group. Dildoes, manacles, and wife-swapping for everybody! This is some party, if you get my drift. Occasionally people seem a little upset, but it all looks like the tearful emo of blissful submission to me.
Eventually, Poky gets pissed off, kills a bunch of people with ritual stomach-pokings, and there are glowy eyes and screaming and long pointy things going into round holes just in case you forgot that this is All Very Sexy. Then, in my favorite twist-ending ever, Arwen punches Poky in the face! Everyone rejoices! Applause, laughter, the release of a dozen white doves! Okay, I made up that last part. Poky is bloody and bitter, but poised for a comeback next season -- just you wait!
Stranger 4
All I knew about this fandom was:
I've never heard of it but I think it sounds like an anime or perhaps a video game?
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Fashion is really important in this film, also rather strange. Leather seems to be popular, especially red leather. I'm completely fascinated by the obvious sex toys (red stick things) which also get used as weapons.
I'm going to call the blond girl Gina (just because), she's married to the dude in the leather vest, let's call him Luke. This is their wedding video. It's very kinky. I approve.
Some friends of theirs participate also, they did this instead of having a wedding reception, figuring the cost would be about the same.
Luke's aunt was mildly disapproving but all in all it was a very good day. It's a bit of a shame that we can't hear the original audio since all the dialogue is in a language they invented themselves (based loosely on Welsh).
Luke and Gina live in Minnesota, they have two dogs.
The plot: The queen of At'cheng (played by Gina) is captured in a plan hatched by a lord from the neighbouring country (Luke) looking to get a better deal in the up coming trade negotiations, torture and inappropriate touching ensues. After some time in captivity the queen has succumbed to a bad case of Stockholm's syndrome and when her fiancé shows up in an ill thought trough attempt to rescue her she participates in torturing him.
I fail to see how this vid could be read in a non kinky context, I'm very curious about the canon now.
Stranger 5
All I knew about this fandom was:
I had seen notices of vids in the fandom go by on the various vidding communities, but, uh, I thought it was based on a children's book I hadn't read, so I never downloaded them.
Hint for those equally confused: this is not based on a children's book. I've read extensively in the field, and hardly any books for kids feature prolonged BDSM sequences.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Parasitic aliens that look strangely like braids. They attach themselves to people's heads and take over their brains. Kind of like the Goa'uld from SG1, except prettier and more interested in herbal conditioners.
So, our heroine, who I will call She Who Apparently Buys Talcum Powder in Bulk, is one day enjoying a happy fun session of bondage with her Dom, who I will call Fantasizes about Being Aragorn, Except in His Version, Instead of Saving the World, He Introduces Rivendell to the Joys of High-Quality Shackles and Horsewhips. Just, you know, hanging out! In chains. In a little leather skirt. Who hasn't done that?
And then the aliens come and one - the queen of the braid beasts, in fact - attaches itself to her head.
Suddenly, Buys Talcum Powder in Bulk's mind is transported to Braid World, a place where she wears a skintight bodysuit and stabs people in the stomach with a long blunt stick that is in no way phallic. At all. She is the dominant one in this world (because, hey, the other braid girls don't have queens on their heads), and she makes all love her and despair. And then she penetrates their stomachs. Entirely unsuggestively.
Meanwhile, of course, her body is still in the real world, and to everyone there, she appears to be comatose. Fantasizes about Being Aragorn calls for emergency services, and after he has some uncomfortable conversations featuring a lot of repetitions of the word "consensual," she is taken off for treatment.
They try everything: medications, whipping, little puppet shows where she's encouraged to act out her trauma. But nothing works, because the braid beast is showing her how she has really hot sexual chemistry with this woman (Wears White but Probably Does Not Mean It As a Comment on Her Purity Test Score), and Buys Talcum Powder in Bulk is too busy having a profoundly homoerotic fight to play with puppets. (You would be, too.)
Significantly, the vid ends with a close up on the braid beast, indicating that Buys Talcum Powder in Bulk is totally subsumed, controlled, helpless - doomed forever to live in her own world.
One where she wears a lot of leather, is worshipped by everyone, and can kick any passing ass.
Tragic.
Stranger 6
All I knew about this fandom was:
Zero.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Lady Betsy "Bitcherella" Hooligan, kingdom-renowned for her extreme blondeness, was a sado-masochistical dominatrix of the highest order. She had recently been hired by Lord Butch "Itchy-Crotch" Maroon to help him celebrate his fiefdom's annual festival, colloquially known throughout the land as "Them That Die From The Slowest Blood Loss Win." Lord Butch, himself, was infamous for having once come in second out of a field of three in his liege's impromptu "Christopher Lambert's Clone" contest.
Stranger 7
All I knew about this fandom was:
The title. And that there was a pouty boy-man in it somewhere.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Legend of the Seeker is a fantastical tale about a Dominatrix Princess who lived in a castle far, far away and her penchant for a stick and meaningful walks in wooded areas. What? You need more? Well, you asked.
Once upon a time there was a Dominatrix Princess with spiffy blonde hair who got off on red pleather and feeling herself up. Sharing the castle with her was another blonde (who may or may not have been the same one reduced to wearing a pleather mini-skirt and a whole mess of dirt). This one had spent hours down the castle gym on the weight machines developing excellent upper body strength so that swinging from the ceiling on chains attached to her wrists was a mere inconvenience. Dirty Blonde attracted the attention of Dark and Brooding (probably also Vaguely Evil since he had hints of goatee about him).
Dominatrix Blonde (who still may or may not have also been Dirty Blonde) had a thing for a stick. A very special red stick. She liked to take this stick with her wherever she went. It was, shall we say, her security stick--she probably took it to bed with her and cuddled it in her sleep. As well as her much beloved stick, Dominatrix Blonde was also in charge of an army of Pleather Babes who all liked to walk meaningfully through a forest.
Dominatrix Blonde and Dark, Brooding and Vaguely evil were also avid weapons collectors. Unlike most collectors who like to keep their weapons all cleaned and locked up and nicely displayed in glass cabinets, however, these two were big fans of practical weapons use, particularly if it involved fighting Pouty Boy-Man who it was possible was also Sweaty Hung Up By Chains Guy, though it was difficult to tell given all the sweating. I assumed yes. It was also possible that Dominatrix/Dirty Blonde and Pouty Boy-Man/Sweaty Hung Up By Chains Guy were two sets of twins and it was all just a comedy of errors, tra la. In the end they would team up to defeat Dark, Brooding and Vaguely Evil and they'd get married and share a house in a way that wasn't creepy at all. But I digress.
So. Pouty Boy-Man annoyed Dominatrix Blonde and Dark, Brooding and Vaguely Evil so much by not letting them walk meaningfully through the forest any more that they decided to torture him. And kiss him. It was possible there was a conflict of interest happening somewhere. It probably had to do with the twins. Hmm, wait.
Suddenly! There appeared in the castle a Brief Brunette who also had trouble with the sweating (I do believe the palace had yet to upgrade to AC, you just try fitting it into the budget what with all the silver polish for the swords and the Vaseline and baby powder for all the pleather). She could not quite break through into the same reality as there was too much kissing and sweating being done by the others. Some of it tastefully black and white, and as we all know, that repels brunettes. She stole some hairpins and disappeared.
Dominatrix Blonde did not notice the stolen hairpins because she was too busy being upset by Pouty Boy-Man stealing her special stick. Didn't he know she couldn't fall asleep without it? There was the twirly tassel thing that she liked to wrap around her finger see, and...um. She proved her attachment to the stick by crying about it in flashback.
In fact, so enraged was she by this abuse of her favourite sleep-toy that she used it to kill all the people who wished to prevent her walking meaningfully through the forest. By this point, the Pleather Babes were entirely bored by her random crying jags over a stick and off they trooped to the local toy store to buy a jigsaw puzzle that would make Pouty Boy-Man's eyes glow. (At least, I hope it was the puzzle. I'd hate to think where they might have been putting their own special red sticks to make his eyes go all supernova.) It passed the time and took their minds off the chafing.
The Brief Brunette then made a last gasp attempt to break through to this reality (she possibly also wished to wear pleather, the fabric of the gods) via the medium of a puppet theatre, but Dominatrix Blonde foiled her cunning plan. Brief Brunette, angry and distraught, threw down with Dominatrix Blonde in the Forest of Meaningful Walking while Dark, Brooding and Vaguely Evil and Pouty Boy-Man stood by, all, "Yeah, suck it, bitch!" as Brief Brunette's man stunt double punched her out.
Unable to walk meaningfully through the forest ever again, Dominatrix Blonde retired to lick her wounds. And probably her stick. Ew.
And they all lived unhappily ever after.