Round 3 Strangers: Black Books
Black Books
Vid Used
"I'll Be There For You" by dualbunny (thedevilbunny @ hotmail.com)
download: http://dualbunny.livejournal.com/116267.html
Grokker Synopsis
This show is about Bernard Black, the owner of a used bookshop; his friend Fran, who owns a tchotchke shop next door; and Manny, who helps Bernard mind the shop. They all drink a lot. Bernard is the one with dirty-looking black hair, Manny has the long golden locks, and Fran is Fran.
Honestly, that's pretty much the show's entire premise. Any more details will just confuse you. I highly recommend that you watch the entire show instead of reading the rest of this. You don't have time to watch 18 episodes of spectacular British comedy? Fine, then keep reading.
Bernard hates customers and often chases them away before they can buy anything. He drinks and smokes and lives in filth, sometimes tossing his jam toast on the ceiling when he's done with it. He and Manny once accidentally drank a bottle of wine worth 7,000 pounds, and instead of confessing, they mixed a new bottle out of other wine. The bottle was then presented to the Pope, who died due to inferior wine. Another time, he made a fool of himself at a dinner party - the police escort was only the beginning. Bernard has no shame and even less decorum, as you can see from his short tenure as a fast-food employee when he is locked out of the shop for the night.
Manny spends a lot of time combing his hair and taking abuse from Bernard. He once literally absorbed "The Little Book of Calm" and became very calm himself, inspiring Bernard to taunt some skinheads in an attempt to get out of paying his taxes. Eventually, Manny decides to run away and ends up exploited by a pimp who puts his pictures in Japanese fetish magazines. He soon returns to his job, though he leaves again to work at the Goliath Books next door. Even the promise of a clean work environment and good customer service can't keep him away from his friends at Black Books. Manny is a talented piano player, which Bernard and Fran exploit to their own gain. He is afflicted with Dave's Syndrome and must not be exposed to temperatures above 88F.
Fran likes to date, drink wine, and keep the peace between Bernard and Manny. She has never met a problem that can't be solved with a bottle of wine, and her onetime effort to purge her body of toxins via intense yoga classes nearly kills her. Her dating life is awkward, though she finds some success with a man whose voice does intimate things to her - their relationship is based only on his reading of the shipping reports on the radio. She works dilligently to book the trio a nice holiday when construction noises take over their shops, but of course, Manny and Bernard unwittingly foil her plans.
None of this sounds terribly clever or hilarious, so you'll just have to trust me. Track down this show by whatever means necessary. You won't regret it.
Stranger Synopses
Stranger 1
All I knew about this fandom was:
Absolutely nothing. Based on the title alone I was guessing it was going to be some kind of "hooking-up" sort of comedy (little black books?) but I'd never heard of it before. This should be interesting...
Here's what this fandom is really about:
This is classically British physical comedy, which means lots of prat-falls, cigarettes, alcohol, and spit-takes.
This show is about Frazzled-Guy (let's call him Bob) and his side-kicks Shameless Uber-Geek (hence forth named "Dave") and Wendy (dubbed such because she has apparently been around the lost boys a little too long and is now as crazy as they are.) At the very least, Dave and Bob work in a small bookstore somewhere in England, in the present day and age. If Wendy doesn't actually work there, she spends all her time there and might as well. They're the three leads, with Bald-Bouncer-Type-Guy (let's name him Gus) as a recurring character. (He's often the one hitting Dave.)
Dave is, well, shameless. And a geek. Which leads to him getting hit. A lot. I think he usually deserves it. He likes to talk through windows with signs, and he delights in making Bob crazy, which has quite a bit to do with why he's Frazzled-Guy in the first place.
Bob would love to be normal, and sane, but is doomed to fail in this regard. Primarily, this is because of the crazy schemes that Dave cooks up. (Some of these involve very little clothing and grandstanding in the street.) He feels like he spends all his time trying to get himself out of the messes that Dave gets them into.
Meanwhile, Wendy tries to boss them around. This involves quite a bit of physical violence and throwing things.
Dave wants to spend all his time with his BFF Bob. He likes girls, and wants them for sex (though he has very little luck in that regard, I think) but Bob is really his OTP. Meanwhile, Bob and Wendy have this "we're not interested in each other, really" thing going on. Dave is fond of Wendy, and I don't think he can quite decide between being happy to have her around (because really, she's as crazy as he is) and feeling threatened by the possibility of Bob falling in love with Wendy.
Massive quantities of wine are consumed, massive amounts of cigarettes are smoked, and sex is had (usually by one's self.)
Ultimately, Shameless Uber-Geek and Frazzled-Guy are OTPBFFs, even if they don't see it that way, and Wendy is their other BFF.
Stranger 2
All I knew about this fandom was:
Nothing.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
A madcap comedy about a group of incompetent friends and rivals living in a disorganized bookstore.
One of them looks like Agent Dale Cooper's clone (I seriously thought he was Kyle McLachlan for over 2/3rds of the vid!), and I like to imagine that the stress of the Twin Peaks case sent him running as far from the FBI as his feet could take him. Just his luck that he ends up rooming with a stringy haired misanthrope with a Little Bo Peep fetish who likes to engineer pratfalls for all his acquaintances while communicating via notes written on letter-size copy paper. They beat on each other, flail dance, and generally try to wage warfare over who gets the prime territory (the Napping Couch - every office should have one, and I am bitter that North America has not adopted the siesta as a way of life, so I gaze upon its leather glory jealously) in the titular bookshop.
It's all fun and games until the Russian mafia decide they want to take over the shop - it's in a perfect location to distribute drugs or guns or something, I don't know - and then Our Heroes have to unite to defeat the invaders. They're not very good at it, and Agent Cooper's attempts to recruit allies goes poorly until the Puppetmistress shows up to organize their efforts. She soothes the discord between Agent Cooper and Bo Peep via life lessons they should have learned from Sesame Street about sharing and playing nicely with others. When they don't listen, she gets frisky and smacks them upside the head. I suspect there was a lot of screaming in the bookstore in this era.
Eventually, their Rube Goldberg traps made of books repel the Mafia encroachment, and they all have to cope with their post-traumatic flashbacks via cheap wine, ear muffs, sing-alongs, and comforting snacks of hot, buttered toast.
Stranger 3
All I knew about this fandom was:
Nothing at all.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Okay, so there are two guys, one with really bad hair and one who smokes a lot (and has slightly less bad hair). There's also a woman who works at the shop too/is a roommate of one guy - she sometimes sleeps at the book shop. The guys are best friends, probably have been since they were kids.
Really bad hair guy runs a used book shop, which is hopelessly cluttered, but still seems to get a bit of business. The other guy runs the office of the book shop, but seems to need another job, perhaps because the first doesn't pay well or really at all. He has a cranky demeanor but so does bad hair guy. He's searched for other places to work, even a fast food place when desperate, but never thinks about leaving the book shop.
The show is centered on the antics and "adventures" experienced by these two guys. Mostly these consist of bets and dares gone wrong, particularly the result of boredom from spending most of their time in each other's company. There's also a gang of guys that likes to beat on these two. I'm guessing that they owe this group some money, but mostly the gang use these two as entertainment when they get bored. When not doing anything else, they drink. At home, at the book shop, at the pub, in the street. Wherever they can get their alcohol, they'll take it.
Stranger 4
All I knew about this fandom was:
It is called "Black Books." Seriously, that's it for what I know.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
A few unattractive dudes who hang together a lot and like to beat up on each other, make fun of each other, and drink. They're not that bright and sometimes kind of hate each other but are still best friends forever, probably because they are so weird and ridiculous that not many other people will be friends with them. They may live together, or work in a bookshop together, or something like that. A woman moves in with them and turns out to be the best of them all at being ridiculous.
The short-haired most attractive (but still not very attractive) guy tries to pay for dinner at a fast food restaurant with his belt, which is an excellent example of the brilliance (or lack thereof) of these characters. He then ends up working at that restaurant, though I suspect he lost them money by taking articles of clothing as payment.
The long-haired one has a jesus complex, is paranoid, and likes to dress in strange outfits (little miss bo-peep, nearly naked save for a whoopie cushion, etc). It's possible that he is the one who likes books more. He frequently communicates by writing on signs rather than talking, perhaps due to having a condition that renders him temporarily mute at odd times.
The woman looks just like the short-haired one, and is possibly his sister or evil twin. She also behaves similarly, though she dresses a lot better.
The three of them like to cook and eat food, and to throw things at each other (sometimes they throw their food, I bet). They also are probably British, because American tv would have more hot people and fewer books. If there is a plot, it probably mainly involves wacky hijinks.
Stranger 5
All I knew about this fandom was:
Nothing.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Crazy people are the only ones who can run bookstores. Man #1 decides to buy a bookstore but because he spends all his money made on smokes, he's going to FAIL in the world of small business. He also bought a bookstore in the world of Amazon. Man #1 decides to throw more money away by hiring a business planner who fancies himself life coach. Enter Man #2, the one who thinks its' awesome to cross-dress as Little Bo Peep; I like him. What proceeds is the most hilarious partnership of all time. Gold stickers, costumes, and crazy ad schemes! The hate and love of trying to salvage a business. Of course they must stake out the competition, which is why the burrow a hole in their rented space to look at the bookstore that is next door. Great location choice Man #1 = MORE FAIL. Truly, Man #1 is put out on the streets, forced to pay for his meals by actually working them off at Mamba Burger. Man #2 conveniently takes over the bookshop, selling out to the competition who is actually a lovely Woman #1. Turns out her store is tidy but she's just as crazy, what with the unhealthy affection for the man duos' partnership and actually dating Man #2. She happily gives them back their business, as long as she gets veto and kinky watching privileges. So they all become a threesome of happy crazy until they realize they all run a bookstore and take to addictive substances again.
Stranger 6
All I knew about this fandom was:
Zip.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Geek Dude owns a quaint bookstore just outside of London, which he bought with some financial backing from his ever-interfering older sister, Snoopy Sis. Shortly after the bookstore opened, a tragic tragedy occurred wherein their even older brother, Hippie Dude, was totally killed ~ crushed to death when a humongous pile of used hardbacks fell on him. Snoopy Sis, fearing potential negative publicity for the bookstore, uses an ancient Voodun book and brings Hippie Dude back to a state of quasi-life. So now poor Geek Dude has to try to run his bookstore while constantly being hounded by both his smothering big sister and the clueless zombie of his mostly dead older brother. Geek Dude soon goes emphatically nutso, feeling wholly responsible for his semi-croaked brother's incomplete death, especially since Hippie Zombie Dude refuses to believe that he is actually pretty much dead and refuses to just go away and die completely.
Stranger 7
All I knew about this fandom was:
It's about books? A little black book? Lots of little black books...?
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Books.
Two guys run a second hand bookshop. One guy either can't speak, or believes he's living in a silent movie and so uses intertitles to communicate. He also has trouble remembering his name so likes to wear a badge. The other guy is a part-time Jarvis Cocker look-alike. He has problems with telephones and believes currency should be replaced by bartering.
One day mute guy pokes a hole into another dimension and goes to live there, where he works in a really shiny new bookshop. Jarvis Cocker guy spends his days spying on mute guy and wishing he hadn't argued with him quite so much when they lived in the same dimension. They both make friends with a dimension-hopping woman from the Archers and the high-jinks continue.
Stranger 8
All I knew about this fandom was:
I think it might be British, because my British friends like it. And possibly a comedy. About two guys?
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Objective: To learn about the Black Books fandom via a single isolated vid.
Hypothesis: That the vid will be funny. And contain some information that will form a partially accurate, partially inaccurate view of the fandom.
Materials: I’ll Be There For You vid by dualbunny
Procedure: Vid was watched twice in a crowded lab with interruptions. This researcher considers that amount of observation to be “good enough for government work” and since that’s who’s paying us, well…
Observations: books, signs, men with bad hair, a woman, toast, English fry-up breakfasts, alcohol, flies, cigarettes, bizarre costumes, telephones, more books, more alcohol, a sofa and blanket, even more books, even more alcohol
Analysis: ((((sofa x blanket) - breakfast) / ((man^2) + (woman^3))) / (books^10)) x (alcohol^99) = 3.14 [margin of error 500%]
Conclusion: The original hypothesis appears to be inaccurate, as this is actually a tragic tale of the economic angst and woe of the brick&mortar used-book seller in this age of the internet. There are more employees in this store than customers. The books stack and stack up, becoming dustier and more decrepit over time (thus showing online superiority). The store owners can no longer afford to pay rent on their flats and so must live in the store, sleeping and eating there. Their appearances also degrade as they have no money for clothes or grooming (they are still better than some researchers) and they are even reduced to wearing the books. Everyone else tells them to give up the job, but the three of them band together even closer, since they are the only people in the world who can understand their shared dream and will be there for each other (awwww). As business sinks into the can (rather like government funding for vid research), they increasingly turn toward alcohol to drown their sorrows. But the end is a hopeless continuation of their fruitless Sisyphean labors. They remain economic dinosaurs only partially pickled and preserved by the heavy liquor, like flies in amber. (This researcher raises a drink to them in empathy.)
Vid Used
"I'll Be There For You" by dualbunny (thedevilbunny @ hotmail.com)
download: http://dualbunny.livejournal.com/116267.html
Grokker Synopsis
This show is about Bernard Black, the owner of a used bookshop; his friend Fran, who owns a tchotchke shop next door; and Manny, who helps Bernard mind the shop. They all drink a lot. Bernard is the one with dirty-looking black hair, Manny has the long golden locks, and Fran is Fran.
Honestly, that's pretty much the show's entire premise. Any more details will just confuse you. I highly recommend that you watch the entire show instead of reading the rest of this. You don't have time to watch 18 episodes of spectacular British comedy? Fine, then keep reading.
Bernard hates customers and often chases them away before they can buy anything. He drinks and smokes and lives in filth, sometimes tossing his jam toast on the ceiling when he's done with it. He and Manny once accidentally drank a bottle of wine worth 7,000 pounds, and instead of confessing, they mixed a new bottle out of other wine. The bottle was then presented to the Pope, who died due to inferior wine. Another time, he made a fool of himself at a dinner party - the police escort was only the beginning. Bernard has no shame and even less decorum, as you can see from his short tenure as a fast-food employee when he is locked out of the shop for the night.
Manny spends a lot of time combing his hair and taking abuse from Bernard. He once literally absorbed "The Little Book of Calm" and became very calm himself, inspiring Bernard to taunt some skinheads in an attempt to get out of paying his taxes. Eventually, Manny decides to run away and ends up exploited by a pimp who puts his pictures in Japanese fetish magazines. He soon returns to his job, though he leaves again to work at the Goliath Books next door. Even the promise of a clean work environment and good customer service can't keep him away from his friends at Black Books. Manny is a talented piano player, which Bernard and Fran exploit to their own gain. He is afflicted with Dave's Syndrome and must not be exposed to temperatures above 88F.
Fran likes to date, drink wine, and keep the peace between Bernard and Manny. She has never met a problem that can't be solved with a bottle of wine, and her onetime effort to purge her body of toxins via intense yoga classes nearly kills her. Her dating life is awkward, though she finds some success with a man whose voice does intimate things to her - their relationship is based only on his reading of the shipping reports on the radio. She works dilligently to book the trio a nice holiday when construction noises take over their shops, but of course, Manny and Bernard unwittingly foil her plans.
None of this sounds terribly clever or hilarious, so you'll just have to trust me. Track down this show by whatever means necessary. You won't regret it.
Stranger Synopses
Stranger 1
All I knew about this fandom was:
Absolutely nothing. Based on the title alone I was guessing it was going to be some kind of "hooking-up" sort of comedy (little black books?) but I'd never heard of it before. This should be interesting...
Here's what this fandom is really about:
This is classically British physical comedy, which means lots of prat-falls, cigarettes, alcohol, and spit-takes.
This show is about Frazzled-Guy (let's call him Bob) and his side-kicks Shameless Uber-Geek (hence forth named "Dave") and Wendy (dubbed such because she has apparently been around the lost boys a little too long and is now as crazy as they are.) At the very least, Dave and Bob work in a small bookstore somewhere in England, in the present day and age. If Wendy doesn't actually work there, she spends all her time there and might as well. They're the three leads, with Bald-Bouncer-Type-Guy (let's name him Gus) as a recurring character. (He's often the one hitting Dave.)
Dave is, well, shameless. And a geek. Which leads to him getting hit. A lot. I think he usually deserves it. He likes to talk through windows with signs, and he delights in making Bob crazy, which has quite a bit to do with why he's Frazzled-Guy in the first place.
Bob would love to be normal, and sane, but is doomed to fail in this regard. Primarily, this is because of the crazy schemes that Dave cooks up. (Some of these involve very little clothing and grandstanding in the street.) He feels like he spends all his time trying to get himself out of the messes that Dave gets them into.
Meanwhile, Wendy tries to boss them around. This involves quite a bit of physical violence and throwing things.
Dave wants to spend all his time with his BFF Bob. He likes girls, and wants them for sex (though he has very little luck in that regard, I think) but Bob is really his OTP. Meanwhile, Bob and Wendy have this "we're not interested in each other, really" thing going on. Dave is fond of Wendy, and I don't think he can quite decide between being happy to have her around (because really, she's as crazy as he is) and feeling threatened by the possibility of Bob falling in love with Wendy.
Massive quantities of wine are consumed, massive amounts of cigarettes are smoked, and sex is had (usually by one's self.)
Ultimately, Shameless Uber-Geek and Frazzled-Guy are OTPBFFs, even if they don't see it that way, and Wendy is their other BFF.
Stranger 2
All I knew about this fandom was:
Nothing.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
A madcap comedy about a group of incompetent friends and rivals living in a disorganized bookstore.
One of them looks like Agent Dale Cooper's clone (I seriously thought he was Kyle McLachlan for over 2/3rds of the vid!), and I like to imagine that the stress of the Twin Peaks case sent him running as far from the FBI as his feet could take him. Just his luck that he ends up rooming with a stringy haired misanthrope with a Little Bo Peep fetish who likes to engineer pratfalls for all his acquaintances while communicating via notes written on letter-size copy paper. They beat on each other, flail dance, and generally try to wage warfare over who gets the prime territory (the Napping Couch - every office should have one, and I am bitter that North America has not adopted the siesta as a way of life, so I gaze upon its leather glory jealously) in the titular bookshop.
It's all fun and games until the Russian mafia decide they want to take over the shop - it's in a perfect location to distribute drugs or guns or something, I don't know - and then Our Heroes have to unite to defeat the invaders. They're not very good at it, and Agent Cooper's attempts to recruit allies goes poorly until the Puppetmistress shows up to organize their efforts. She soothes the discord between Agent Cooper and Bo Peep via life lessons they should have learned from Sesame Street about sharing and playing nicely with others. When they don't listen, she gets frisky and smacks them upside the head. I suspect there was a lot of screaming in the bookstore in this era.
Eventually, their Rube Goldberg traps made of books repel the Mafia encroachment, and they all have to cope with their post-traumatic flashbacks via cheap wine, ear muffs, sing-alongs, and comforting snacks of hot, buttered toast.
Stranger 3
All I knew about this fandom was:
Nothing at all.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Okay, so there are two guys, one with really bad hair and one who smokes a lot (and has slightly less bad hair). There's also a woman who works at the shop too/is a roommate of one guy - she sometimes sleeps at the book shop. The guys are best friends, probably have been since they were kids.
Really bad hair guy runs a used book shop, which is hopelessly cluttered, but still seems to get a bit of business. The other guy runs the office of the book shop, but seems to need another job, perhaps because the first doesn't pay well or really at all. He has a cranky demeanor but so does bad hair guy. He's searched for other places to work, even a fast food place when desperate, but never thinks about leaving the book shop.
The show is centered on the antics and "adventures" experienced by these two guys. Mostly these consist of bets and dares gone wrong, particularly the result of boredom from spending most of their time in each other's company. There's also a gang of guys that likes to beat on these two. I'm guessing that they owe this group some money, but mostly the gang use these two as entertainment when they get bored. When not doing anything else, they drink. At home, at the book shop, at the pub, in the street. Wherever they can get their alcohol, they'll take it.
Stranger 4
All I knew about this fandom was:
It is called "Black Books." Seriously, that's it for what I know.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
A few unattractive dudes who hang together a lot and like to beat up on each other, make fun of each other, and drink. They're not that bright and sometimes kind of hate each other but are still best friends forever, probably because they are so weird and ridiculous that not many other people will be friends with them. They may live together, or work in a bookshop together, or something like that. A woman moves in with them and turns out to be the best of them all at being ridiculous.
The short-haired most attractive (but still not very attractive) guy tries to pay for dinner at a fast food restaurant with his belt, which is an excellent example of the brilliance (or lack thereof) of these characters. He then ends up working at that restaurant, though I suspect he lost them money by taking articles of clothing as payment.
The long-haired one has a jesus complex, is paranoid, and likes to dress in strange outfits (little miss bo-peep, nearly naked save for a whoopie cushion, etc). It's possible that he is the one who likes books more. He frequently communicates by writing on signs rather than talking, perhaps due to having a condition that renders him temporarily mute at odd times.
The woman looks just like the short-haired one, and is possibly his sister or evil twin. She also behaves similarly, though she dresses a lot better.
The three of them like to cook and eat food, and to throw things at each other (sometimes they throw their food, I bet). They also are probably British, because American tv would have more hot people and fewer books. If there is a plot, it probably mainly involves wacky hijinks.
Stranger 5
All I knew about this fandom was:
Nothing.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Crazy people are the only ones who can run bookstores. Man #1 decides to buy a bookstore but because he spends all his money made on smokes, he's going to FAIL in the world of small business. He also bought a bookstore in the world of Amazon. Man #1 decides to throw more money away by hiring a business planner who fancies himself life coach. Enter Man #2, the one who thinks its' awesome to cross-dress as Little Bo Peep; I like him. What proceeds is the most hilarious partnership of all time. Gold stickers, costumes, and crazy ad schemes! The hate and love of trying to salvage a business. Of course they must stake out the competition, which is why the burrow a hole in their rented space to look at the bookstore that is next door. Great location choice Man #1 = MORE FAIL. Truly, Man #1 is put out on the streets, forced to pay for his meals by actually working them off at Mamba Burger. Man #2 conveniently takes over the bookshop, selling out to the competition who is actually a lovely Woman #1. Turns out her store is tidy but she's just as crazy, what with the unhealthy affection for the man duos' partnership and actually dating Man #2. She happily gives them back their business, as long as she gets veto and kinky watching privileges. So they all become a threesome of happy crazy until they realize they all run a bookstore and take to addictive substances again.
Stranger 6
All I knew about this fandom was:
Zip.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Geek Dude owns a quaint bookstore just outside of London, which he bought with some financial backing from his ever-interfering older sister, Snoopy Sis. Shortly after the bookstore opened, a tragic tragedy occurred wherein their even older brother, Hippie Dude, was totally killed ~ crushed to death when a humongous pile of used hardbacks fell on him. Snoopy Sis, fearing potential negative publicity for the bookstore, uses an ancient Voodun book and brings Hippie Dude back to a state of quasi-life. So now poor Geek Dude has to try to run his bookstore while constantly being hounded by both his smothering big sister and the clueless zombie of his mostly dead older brother. Geek Dude soon goes emphatically nutso, feeling wholly responsible for his semi-croaked brother's incomplete death, especially since Hippie Zombie Dude refuses to believe that he is actually pretty much dead and refuses to just go away and die completely.
Stranger 7
All I knew about this fandom was:
It's about books? A little black book? Lots of little black books...?
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Books.
Two guys run a second hand bookshop. One guy either can't speak, or believes he's living in a silent movie and so uses intertitles to communicate. He also has trouble remembering his name so likes to wear a badge. The other guy is a part-time Jarvis Cocker look-alike. He has problems with telephones and believes currency should be replaced by bartering.
One day mute guy pokes a hole into another dimension and goes to live there, where he works in a really shiny new bookshop. Jarvis Cocker guy spends his days spying on mute guy and wishing he hadn't argued with him quite so much when they lived in the same dimension. They both make friends with a dimension-hopping woman from the Archers and the high-jinks continue.
Stranger 8
All I knew about this fandom was:
I think it might be British, because my British friends like it. And possibly a comedy. About two guys?
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Objective: To learn about the Black Books fandom via a single isolated vid.
Hypothesis: That the vid will be funny. And contain some information that will form a partially accurate, partially inaccurate view of the fandom.
Materials: I’ll Be There For You vid by dualbunny
Procedure: Vid was watched twice in a crowded lab with interruptions. This researcher considers that amount of observation to be “good enough for government work” and since that’s who’s paying us, well…
Observations: books, signs, men with bad hair, a woman, toast, English fry-up breakfasts, alcohol, flies, cigarettes, bizarre costumes, telephones, more books, more alcohol, a sofa and blanket, even more books, even more alcohol
Analysis: ((((sofa x blanket) - breakfast) / ((man^2) + (woman^3))) / (books^10)) x (alcohol^99) = 3.14 [margin of error 500%]
Conclusion: The original hypothesis appears to be inaccurate, as this is actually a tragic tale of the economic angst and woe of the brick&mortar used-book seller in this age of the internet. There are more employees in this store than customers. The books stack and stack up, becoming dustier and more decrepit over time (thus showing online superiority). The store owners can no longer afford to pay rent on their flats and so must live in the store, sleeping and eating there. Their appearances also degrade as they have no money for clothes or grooming (they are still better than some researchers) and they are even reduced to wearing the books. Everyone else tells them to give up the job, but the three of them band together even closer, since they are the only people in the world who can understand their shared dream and will be there for each other (awwww). As business sinks into the can (rather like government funding for vid research), they increasingly turn toward alcohol to drown their sorrows. But the end is a hopeless continuation of their fruitless Sisyphean labors. They remain economic dinosaurs only partially pickled and preserved by the heavy liquor, like flies in amber. (This researcher raises a drink to them in empathy.)