PoT: Mizuki and Yuuta's Wedding 2 of 4
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humor, Parody, Romance
Pairings: Yuuta/Mizuki, many other minor, one-sided, or implied pairings
Summary: It's the event of the century and everyone's invited... and I do mean everyone. (<- was true at the time. Really everyone up to Johsei.... Rokkaku name-dropping at the end).
Mizuki and Yuuta's Wedding
Part 2: Gathering
No wedding was complete without a bachelor party, Eiji decided, so he spent the next three days rounding up the old crew. He followed Oishi's advice about calling Inui first, and was able to get most of the current telephone numbers without having to search through the phonebook.
"So you'll come, right?" he asked for the nth time. "It's really important for them that you be there."
"I don't even know the guy," Youhei puzzled.
"Either of them," Kouhei contributed on the second line.
"Details, details," Eiji dismissed breezily. "Just make sure to come by nine tonight." He proceeded to wrangle a promise of attendance from the twins, gave directions to his house, and hung up.
"Well, that's everyone from Johsei Shounan!" Eiji crossed off the names and drew a little smiley face. "And from Fudomine, Hyotei, Yamabuki, St. Rudolph, and of course, Seigaku," he counted off.
Oishi plopped down on the sofa next to him, bleary-eyed and holding a squirming child in his arms. Late night feedings would be a lot easier if Eiji helped out once in a while but Eiji only liked participating in the fun parts of parenthood.
"Are you sure we can't hold it anywhere else?" Oishi asked worriedly as Kenji reached up and grabbed ahold of one of his bangs. He shuddered at the thought of their child crawling into a room full of rambunctious young men - men cheering and hooting as some sleazy stripper performed lap dances for people that were getting married two days later.
What was the point of bachelor parties again?
"You should have said something before nya. I already told everyone it'll be here." Eiji chucked their son under the chin, eliciting a burbly laugh.
"Won't it be fun, Ken-chan?" he cooed. "We're going to see all those guys Daddy and Papa beat!"
Oishi rolled his eyes. Sometimes, he wondered who was the bigger child, the one on his lap or the one to his right. But still, he had to give credit where it was due. "I can't believe you actually pulled together a wedding--"
"AND a bachelor party."
"--and a bachelor party," Oishi agreed, "in one week." He glanced at the notepad. "How come Kaidoh's name isn't crossed?" he asked. "He isn't coming?"
"Nn," Eiji shook his head. "The frowny faces are for people not coming. I couldn't reach him yet." He flipped his pen around his wrist and caught it, much in the way he used to with his tennis racket. "I know if I leave a message, he'll ignore it."
Flip. Catch.
"I'll have to talk to him in person."
"So you can twist his arm to come?" Oishi asked dryly.
"Exactly!" Eiji closed his eyes and tapped the pen against his temple, face scrunched in concentration. "I know!" he exclaimed a few second later, jumping up. You could practically see the light going on in his head. "I'll go visit him at work!"
"W-wait!" Oishi protested, half-standing and holding out their son. "You agreed to take care of Kenji this afternoon!"
"No time. I'm on a mission nya!" Eiji was already moving out the door, jacket in hand. "Love you, you're the best, be back in a bit!"
"Mou.. your father's so irresponsible," the poor 'mother' mourned, sinking back into the cushions. Kenji giggled in agreement.
-----
It took him a good fifteen minutes before he found it, and once he did, he realized he'd already passed it three times. He never would have suspected it - Kaidoh Kaoru, whose face could silence crying babies, working in a life-size version of Barbie's Dreamhouse! Oh the pinkness of it all - it was simply priceless!
Eiji chortled. Oh, wait till he told Syuichiroh about this! No, not just Syuichiroh. Something like this needed to be shared with everyone. Good thing they were all coming over tonight.
Remembering his purpose, he strode up to the white fence separating the lot from the street. It was easy enough to reach over the gate and undo the lock from the inside - its only purpose was to keep the children in the yard from getting out, not to keep people from getting in.
Eiji was swarmed by big-eyed chibis who barely came up to his knees. Their pudgy hands reached out to grab and cling.
"Ne? Ne? Who are you, niichan?" they asked curiously.
"Me?" Eiji pointed to himself. "I'm no one."
"That means you're a stranger," one kid said matter-of-factly. "Kaidoh-niichan says we shouldn't talk to strangers."
"Ohhhh." All the others drew back, eyes widening to the size of saucers. Then one of them poked him in the leg.
"How did you get that owie?" He pointed up. "Is it all gross under there?"
Crouching so that he was at eye-level, Eiji leaned forward conspiratorially. "You want to see?" he asked, eyes sparkling with mischief as he took a corner of the bandaid.
The boys nodded eagerly while the girls squealed and hid behind their hands, fingers spread so they could peek through.
"Okay, you asked for it," Eiji warned. With one quick motion he ripped off the strip and the children screamed in sheer terror.
Kaidoh looked up from Kisa's drawing, hissing. "You over there! What are you doing?" he asked gruffly. He stalked over to the site of the disturbance, an angry scowl on his face. It didn't scare the kids, who immediately abandoned Eiji in favor of the bandana-wearing man.
"Hiyee!" Eiji jumped back up, waving. His bandaid was back in place. "Long time no see, Kaiiii-doh-nii-CHAN!"
"Senpai!"
"Who'd have thought... nyahahaha... that... hahaha... you'd be running... kekeke... a daycare center!"
Faint lines of red colored Kaidoh's cheek as he was laughed at by a relentless Eiji. They grew brighter when one of the girls tugged at his shorts, ribbons in hand. "Kai-nii, let me braid your hair."
"Not now," he muttered, slouching down lower and hissing with chagrin.
The girl looked at him with wobbly eyes, and just as it seemed that Kaidoh would cave in, one of the other kids piped up with, "Are you Kaidoh-niichan's friend?"
"Un!" Eiji acknowledged, slinging an arm around Kaidoh's shoulder companionably. "I knew him since he was yea tall." He indicated the height of a person four feet tall with his free hand.
"Wow!"
"Hey, remember when Inui-niichan came over?"
"Yeah, he was cool!"
"Inui?" Eiji echoed, suppressing mad snickers. "Cool?"
"He told me the way I ran around without looking, I have a 82 percent chance of breaking a bone this year!" one boy yelled out excitedly, then thrust out his cast-covered leg. It was covered with signatures and doodles but the surface was relatively white, suggesting that it was put on recently. "He was right!"
"He told me that I had a 76 percent chance of having A-AD- um..ADHD!"
"Well, oh yeah, he told me that I had a 91 percent chance of..."
The kids started to compete with a recounting of their predictions while Eiji and Kaidoh moved away to a quieter spot.
"Who knew you were so good with the chibis!" Eiji grinned cheekily as they reached the child-sized playground equipment set off to the side. He squeezed his tush into the tiny seat of the swing, keeping his feet on the ground to take off some of his weight. These things were smaller than he remembered.
"What are you doing here, senpai?"
In response, Eiji reached into his pocket and drew out a crinkled invite.
Kaidoh took it gingerly, as if it would bite, and smoothed it out. Then, he flipped it open and read out loud, "You are cordially invited to the wedding of Mizuki Hajime and Fuji Yuuta." Poor Kaidoh turned redder than he had previously been, but he continued to scan down. There was a hand-written message beneath the necessary information which read, 'Bachelor party at 9:00 PM, Friday. Come prepared to knock some booty.'
"So you'll come nya?" Although phrased as a question, there was no doubt that Eiji would only accept one answer. He loved big get-togethers and this was the perfect excuse to throw a party. He made a sad face.
"Unless you've already got plans. I'm sure everyone will understand if you can't make it, once I explain to them that you've taken up playing with cute widdle preschoolers," Eiji said with exaggerated sympathy. "It's just too bad, but Kaidoh had a hair appointment he couldn't miss nya."
Kaidoh sighed in resignation. This was so blackmail.
-----
"Welcome. Go right on in." Oishi tentatively identified the man as Yamabuki's Moromachi Tohji, although it was hard to tell. He had never seen him without the silver-rimmed blue-tinted shades before.
He had no sooner closed the door when there was another knock. The entirety of Fudomine's old team stood on the doorsteps, Tachibana Kippei at the lead. He nodded as he entered, trailed by Kamio, Sakurai, Ishida, Uchimura, and Mori, with Shinji shuffling in at the end.
The furniture in the living room at been shoved against the walls to accommodate the crowd and the earlier arrivals were standing around chatting. They all had tennis in common, and many of them already knew each other from tournaments, both in junior high and high school, or from the street tennis courts.
"Yo Mamushi!" Kamio called out, the most willing to fraternize with outside people as usual. "It's been a while. What're you up to these days?"
Kaidoh hissed something unintelligible, then downed his beer at a rapid rate. Next to him, Ryoma looked slightly bored as he picked at the pretzel bowl while Kachiro talked.
"Pro tennis is so exciting, Ryoma-kun!" he was enthusing, shiny black locks bobbing with emphasis. "There are so many great players rising up now."
Ryoma made a non-committal sound.
"I don't think it's too late for you to enter the scene," Kachiro plunged on, not in the least deterred.
"Eh-?" A unibrowed Horio in a horribly loud, checkered green-and-yellow suit sidled up to them. "The way you talk, you'd think you're an actual player, not just a ball boy," he declared, loudly enough for everyone in the room to hear.
Kachiro flushed but knew the other boy didn't mean to be as tactless as he often was. He blurted things out without considering the results. "It's true that I don't have any talent," Kachiro admitted. "But I love the game and I'll support it in any way I can."
He whirled back around to Ryoma, fists doubled up and eyes hopeful. "That's why I think you should definitely go pro! You have the natural talent and the discipline! You can lead Japan to the top!"
"Yada."
Kachiro deflated.
"There's just no reasoning with the guy," Horio proclaimed, arms spread in a what-can-you-do gesture. "Who else would give up hitting balls to arrange flowers?"
"Akutsu-senpai, Sengoku-senpai, and Taichi," Ryoma countered flatly. "Oh, and that guy." He jerked his thumb over at Shinji, who gave up looking dazedly at a discolored spot on the ceiling to glance over. "Although his store's still mada mada da ne."
"So what are you doing now anyway?" Katsuo asked Horio, veering off a fight.
Horio puffed up. "I'm a sales representative for preowned vehicular transports," he bragged. "Why with my two years of experience, I've already--"
"So basically, you're a used car dealer," Ryoma interrupted. "That explains the suit."
"Eh? What's wrong with the way I'm dressed?" Horio plucked at his clothing with genuine confusion as the others stifled snickers behind their hands.
"Hey, Echizen!" Ryoma was saved from present company by a guy with spiked orange hair and magenta eyes, waving him over.
The other half of the Gyokurin pair stood next to him, the sleeves of his shirt pushed all the way up to his shoulder and dark blue hair loosened from its usual ponytail. "Where's Momo?" Fukawa asked curiously.
"That's what I'm wondering." Sengoku draped himself over Ryoma's shoulder. "Ecchi-kun, where's your dear Omoshiro-senpai?"
"How should I know?" Ryoma muttered irritably, batting his co-worker away. "And stop calling me that."
Sengoku paid no attention as he spotted a couple of old teammates at another part of the room. "Hey, Jimis!" he saluted.
"Don't call us that!" Minami and Higashikata said as one, echoing Ryoma's earlier sentiment.
Meanwhile, Inui Sadaharu, dressed in an unremarkable gray suit, was methodically working his way around the room. He jotted down the information he collected on his nifty palm pilot, muttering "good data" every once in a while.
"So, Arai." His eyes weren't visible behind the apparently one-way glasses but Arai had the distinct feeling he was being checked up and down. "You're looking pretty good."
It was an innocent enough statement, because it was undeniably true. Chocolately brown hair was cut in a short, smart style and the classy black suit was tailored to show off Arai's athletic form. His loafers were highly polished, and his entire appearance was impeccably flawless. Inui noted that Arai looked quite at ease in his attire, as if it was something he wore on a daily basis.
"Ah- well." Arai scratched his head embarrassedly. Innocent or not, he couldn't help recalling that his upperclassman had once had a 'date' with Kaidoh, and Inui's low, sensual way of speaking only added to the ambiguity of his compliment.
"Thank you," he settled for saying.
"I saw you driving up in the Ferrari," Inui continued, electronic pen held poised above the tablet. "What do you do for a living?"
"Um..."
"He's a chauffeur," Ikeda supplied helpfully. The cute smattering of freckles hadn't faded a bit, giving him an impish look. "He's working tonight, too."
Arai nudged his friend to shut up but then decided there was no use hiding it. "I'm Wakato Hiroshi's personal driver."
"Wakato Hiroshi." Inui looked up the profile to jog his memory. "Ah, the Pretender. He's in that popular TV drama right now, isn't he?"
"You're so lucky, man," Hayashi informed Arai. "You get to be around all those hot actresses."
"Yeah, and they really notice the guy opening up the door for THE Wakato Hiroshi," Arai shot back sarcastically, after making sure his boss wasn't within earshot. Wakato was busy holding court to all the gay men in the room, posing in a contrived manner while his old teammates shot him exasperated looks. "And I thought that Hyotei had a diva for a captain."
"What about Hyotei?"
The last time they had seen Shishido Ryo, he had been sporting a close-cropped 'do and multiple injuries. He had grown out his pride and joy again, and silky dark locks fell over his eyes seductively and spilled down his back. The top few of his buttons were undone, and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows to reveal smooth and perfect skin that would make any woman jealous. He looked every bit the part of the fashion photographer that he was.
"Shishido-san." Ohtori Choutaroh gave Shishido a boyishly innocent look. "I found the others."
Inui followed with interest, not having updated his information on the former Hyotei boys yet. Akutagawa Jiroh was predictably snoozing and didn't even stir as Mukahi Gakuto kicked the sofa he was on, hoping to jar him awake.
"It's impossible," remarked Oshitari as he pushed up his glasses with a gloved hand. His dark blue hair had streaks of lighter blue, purple, and pink running through it. "We'll have to wait for Kabaji."
"Oshitariii!" Eiji glomped onto the tall boy as if he was a long-lost brother, and some of the feathers that lined Oshitari's full-length trenchcoat fluttered off. "My sister's a huge fan of your group! She listens to your CDs all the time! Can you sign this for her, huh huh? If you don't, she'll kill me," Eiji wailed.
"It's no problem." The J-rocker turned Gakuto around to use his back as a writing board.
"Write something personal! Like, 'To my number one fan, with all my love. I want you to be the mother of my child,'" Eiji recited. "Thanks nya!"
Gakuto smirked. "Speaking of which... I heard you had a child, Kikumaru. Where is the precious little tyke?"
"Kenji? He's staying with Syuichiroh's parents tonight." Eiji was instantly on guard. Gakuto never had anything nice to say to him.
"Oh. Well... I see fatherhood has really changed you." Gakuto put a hand on his hip. "You look so... robust."
Eiji brightened. "Thanks! You look pretty good yourself nya!"
"Judging by his body language and delivery, there's an 87 percent probability that he meant that as an insult," Inui burst his bubble and Gakuto's smirk deepened.
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
"He just implied that you've gained weight."
"No he didn't! And no I didn't!" Eiji denied, stamping his foot. "I-NU-I! It's not true, is it?"
The data man studied him critically. "Waist, up 1/3 inch, hips, 1/2 inch, arms look a little thicker," he gave his best estimate as he circled his hand around the upper arm. "You haven't been following my dietary suggestions, have you?"
Eiji jerked away in mortification, then pinched to check for any signs of flab himself.
Oshitari's penmanship suffered as Gakuto shook with laughter, head tilted back as he cackled out "Hahahahah" in manaical glee.
"I'm still the same sizes as I was five years ago," Gakuto preened once he had recovered, displaying his lithe form. He then stepped away and did a forward flip mid-air. "Just as flexible, too."
Oshitari appraised him lustfully as he handed Eiji back the pen and album cover.
"While you've been busy packing on the pounds and growing creaky with age, I've been keeping my shape as an aerobics instructor. You should really consider attending a few sessions."
"Hi-hi-hidoi!" Eiji fled for the kitchen, knocking down the midget from Shounan.
"What's his problem?" Ohta grumbled, as the hulking giant Kirayama helped him up.
"Mukahi Gakuto, aerobics instructor." Inui recorded the fact. "Eiji, worried about his weight? Good data."
"What do you do, Inui-san?" Choutaroh wondered why the other man wasn't running after his friend to console him. That's what he would do if it had been Shishido that had fled.
"Something to do with numbers, would be my guess," a voice came at his elbow and Choutaroh jumped. Fuji had a way of appearing without warning.
"I'm an actuary." Seeing the blank faces, Inui elaborated, "I work with insurance companies, figuring out rates to charge based on various factors. I also do some freelance consulting work. For example, I was meeting with the representatives of a major car company. It turns out there was a problem with the airbag, where it would cause bone-crushing chest injury in 35 percent of the cases it was deployed."
The others, sans Fuji, cringed. "How horrible."
"Yes, well, they wanted me to figure out the cost of recalling and correcting the error in all cars that were already sold, as well as for adjusting the ones in production." Inui tapped a few keys on his palm pilot, and data charts and numbers scrolled across the screen. "But based on the calculations of probable accidents involving airbag deployment and the amount of settlement per suit, it's more economically efficient to pay out liability as it comes up."
The others looked pale. "So... so they're keeping the bone-crushing thing?"
"Well, they're free to use the information any way they wish," Inui remarked diffidently. "But I would be careful if I drove a certain popular two-door model." He directed a meaningful gaze at Taki Haginosuke, who started to whimper.
"Momoshiro!" The group turned to see the tall, spiky haired man stride into the room, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.
"Sorry I'm late!" he waved. "I was pulled over for speeding and had to run 20 laps around the block." He moved in further, revealing a frowning Tezuka Kunimitsu behind him.
At the sight of the former Seigaku captain, lips turned down stiffly and arms folded across his uniformed chest, people stopped talking and started to shift guiltily, trying to remember if they had done anything illegal. The nameplate on his breast pocket glinted with the weight of authority of the youngest police captain in precinct history.
"Didn't he know this was a party?" Uchimura whispered, pulling the brim of his cap lower to hide his face.
"Tezuka." Tachibana offering his hand in greeting and Tezuka clasped it.
"Tachibana. It's been a while."
That seemed to break the ice and everyone returned to what they had previously been doing.
Ever popular with the guys, Momoshiro was instantly surrounded and treated to multiple high-fives and poundings on the back.
"Stop by the courts when you have time," Izumi challenged. "Me and Fukawa still owe you for the last time."
"Yo Omoshiro-kun! You're still unlucky as usual, ne?" Sengoku winked. "I've never gotten pulled over."
"Momoshiro. It's good to see you."
"Momo-chan-senpai!"
With so many people clamoring for Momoshiro's attention, it was hard for Oishi to get himself heard. "Uh, guys!" he shouted anyway. "The... uh..." He trailed off, completely unheard.
"Allow me." Atobe Keigo lifted a hand regally and Kabaji put his fingers to his lips. A loud, shrill whistle pierced the room.
When he was sure every eye was on him, the former Hyotei captain shed off his long coat to reveal thigh-high bitch boots and a tight leather outfit adorned with buckles and chains.
"Gentlemen," he greeted, handing the coat to Kabaji. "Your stripper has arrived. Let the party begin."
-----
On to Part 3
posted on Fanfiction.net [August 27, 2003]
Genre: Humor, Parody, Romance
Pairings: Yuuta/Mizuki, many other minor, one-sided, or implied pairings
Summary: It's the event of the century and everyone's invited... and I do mean everyone. (<- was true at the time. Really everyone up to Johsei.... Rokkaku name-dropping at the end).
Mizuki and Yuuta's Wedding
Part 2: Gathering
No wedding was complete without a bachelor party, Eiji decided, so he spent the next three days rounding up the old crew. He followed Oishi's advice about calling Inui first, and was able to get most of the current telephone numbers without having to search through the phonebook.
"So you'll come, right?" he asked for the nth time. "It's really important for them that you be there."
"I don't even know the guy," Youhei puzzled.
"Either of them," Kouhei contributed on the second line.
"Details, details," Eiji dismissed breezily. "Just make sure to come by nine tonight." He proceeded to wrangle a promise of attendance from the twins, gave directions to his house, and hung up.
"Well, that's everyone from Johsei Shounan!" Eiji crossed off the names and drew a little smiley face. "And from Fudomine, Hyotei, Yamabuki, St. Rudolph, and of course, Seigaku," he counted off.
Oishi plopped down on the sofa next to him, bleary-eyed and holding a squirming child in his arms. Late night feedings would be a lot easier if Eiji helped out once in a while but Eiji only liked participating in the fun parts of parenthood.
"Are you sure we can't hold it anywhere else?" Oishi asked worriedly as Kenji reached up and grabbed ahold of one of his bangs. He shuddered at the thought of their child crawling into a room full of rambunctious young men - men cheering and hooting as some sleazy stripper performed lap dances for people that were getting married two days later.
What was the point of bachelor parties again?
"You should have said something before nya. I already told everyone it'll be here." Eiji chucked their son under the chin, eliciting a burbly laugh.
"Won't it be fun, Ken-chan?" he cooed. "We're going to see all those guys Daddy and Papa beat!"
Oishi rolled his eyes. Sometimes, he wondered who was the bigger child, the one on his lap or the one to his right. But still, he had to give credit where it was due. "I can't believe you actually pulled together a wedding--"
"AND a bachelor party."
"--and a bachelor party," Oishi agreed, "in one week." He glanced at the notepad. "How come Kaidoh's name isn't crossed?" he asked. "He isn't coming?"
"Nn," Eiji shook his head. "The frowny faces are for people not coming. I couldn't reach him yet." He flipped his pen around his wrist and caught it, much in the way he used to with his tennis racket. "I know if I leave a message, he'll ignore it."
Flip. Catch.
"I'll have to talk to him in person."
"So you can twist his arm to come?" Oishi asked dryly.
"Exactly!" Eiji closed his eyes and tapped the pen against his temple, face scrunched in concentration. "I know!" he exclaimed a few second later, jumping up. You could practically see the light going on in his head. "I'll go visit him at work!"
"W-wait!" Oishi protested, half-standing and holding out their son. "You agreed to take care of Kenji this afternoon!"
"No time. I'm on a mission nya!" Eiji was already moving out the door, jacket in hand. "Love you, you're the best, be back in a bit!"
"Mou.. your father's so irresponsible," the poor 'mother' mourned, sinking back into the cushions. Kenji giggled in agreement.
-----
It took him a good fifteen minutes before he found it, and once he did, he realized he'd already passed it three times. He never would have suspected it - Kaidoh Kaoru, whose face could silence crying babies, working in a life-size version of Barbie's Dreamhouse! Oh the pinkness of it all - it was simply priceless!
Eiji chortled. Oh, wait till he told Syuichiroh about this! No, not just Syuichiroh. Something like this needed to be shared with everyone. Good thing they were all coming over tonight.
Remembering his purpose, he strode up to the white fence separating the lot from the street. It was easy enough to reach over the gate and undo the lock from the inside - its only purpose was to keep the children in the yard from getting out, not to keep people from getting in.
Eiji was swarmed by big-eyed chibis who barely came up to his knees. Their pudgy hands reached out to grab and cling.
"Ne? Ne? Who are you, niichan?" they asked curiously.
"Me?" Eiji pointed to himself. "I'm no one."
"That means you're a stranger," one kid said matter-of-factly. "Kaidoh-niichan says we shouldn't talk to strangers."
"Ohhhh." All the others drew back, eyes widening to the size of saucers. Then one of them poked him in the leg.
"How did you get that owie?" He pointed up. "Is it all gross under there?"
Crouching so that he was at eye-level, Eiji leaned forward conspiratorially. "You want to see?" he asked, eyes sparkling with mischief as he took a corner of the bandaid.
The boys nodded eagerly while the girls squealed and hid behind their hands, fingers spread so they could peek through.
"Okay, you asked for it," Eiji warned. With one quick motion he ripped off the strip and the children screamed in sheer terror.
Kaidoh looked up from Kisa's drawing, hissing. "You over there! What are you doing?" he asked gruffly. He stalked over to the site of the disturbance, an angry scowl on his face. It didn't scare the kids, who immediately abandoned Eiji in favor of the bandana-wearing man.
"Hiyee!" Eiji jumped back up, waving. His bandaid was back in place. "Long time no see, Kaiiii-doh-nii-CHAN!"
"Senpai!"
"Who'd have thought... nyahahaha... that... hahaha... you'd be running... kekeke... a daycare center!"
Faint lines of red colored Kaidoh's cheek as he was laughed at by a relentless Eiji. They grew brighter when one of the girls tugged at his shorts, ribbons in hand. "Kai-nii, let me braid your hair."
"Not now," he muttered, slouching down lower and hissing with chagrin.
The girl looked at him with wobbly eyes, and just as it seemed that Kaidoh would cave in, one of the other kids piped up with, "Are you Kaidoh-niichan's friend?"
"Un!" Eiji acknowledged, slinging an arm around Kaidoh's shoulder companionably. "I knew him since he was yea tall." He indicated the height of a person four feet tall with his free hand.
"Wow!"
"Hey, remember when Inui-niichan came over?"
"Yeah, he was cool!"
"Inui?" Eiji echoed, suppressing mad snickers. "Cool?"
"He told me the way I ran around without looking, I have a 82 percent chance of breaking a bone this year!" one boy yelled out excitedly, then thrust out his cast-covered leg. It was covered with signatures and doodles but the surface was relatively white, suggesting that it was put on recently. "He was right!"
"He told me that I had a 76 percent chance of having A-AD- um..ADHD!"
"Well, oh yeah, he told me that I had a 91 percent chance of..."
The kids started to compete with a recounting of their predictions while Eiji and Kaidoh moved away to a quieter spot.
"Who knew you were so good with the chibis!" Eiji grinned cheekily as they reached the child-sized playground equipment set off to the side. He squeezed his tush into the tiny seat of the swing, keeping his feet on the ground to take off some of his weight. These things were smaller than he remembered.
"What are you doing here, senpai?"
In response, Eiji reached into his pocket and drew out a crinkled invite.
Kaidoh took it gingerly, as if it would bite, and smoothed it out. Then, he flipped it open and read out loud, "You are cordially invited to the wedding of Mizuki Hajime and Fuji Yuuta." Poor Kaidoh turned redder than he had previously been, but he continued to scan down. There was a hand-written message beneath the necessary information which read, 'Bachelor party at 9:00 PM, Friday. Come prepared to knock some booty.'
"So you'll come nya?" Although phrased as a question, there was no doubt that Eiji would only accept one answer. He loved big get-togethers and this was the perfect excuse to throw a party. He made a sad face.
"Unless you've already got plans. I'm sure everyone will understand if you can't make it, once I explain to them that you've taken up playing with cute widdle preschoolers," Eiji said with exaggerated sympathy. "It's just too bad, but Kaidoh had a hair appointment he couldn't miss nya."
Kaidoh sighed in resignation. This was so blackmail.
-----
"Welcome. Go right on in." Oishi tentatively identified the man as Yamabuki's Moromachi Tohji, although it was hard to tell. He had never seen him without the silver-rimmed blue-tinted shades before.
He had no sooner closed the door when there was another knock. The entirety of Fudomine's old team stood on the doorsteps, Tachibana Kippei at the lead. He nodded as he entered, trailed by Kamio, Sakurai, Ishida, Uchimura, and Mori, with Shinji shuffling in at the end.
The furniture in the living room at been shoved against the walls to accommodate the crowd and the earlier arrivals were standing around chatting. They all had tennis in common, and many of them already knew each other from tournaments, both in junior high and high school, or from the street tennis courts.
"Yo Mamushi!" Kamio called out, the most willing to fraternize with outside people as usual. "It's been a while. What're you up to these days?"
Kaidoh hissed something unintelligible, then downed his beer at a rapid rate. Next to him, Ryoma looked slightly bored as he picked at the pretzel bowl while Kachiro talked.
"Pro tennis is so exciting, Ryoma-kun!" he was enthusing, shiny black locks bobbing with emphasis. "There are so many great players rising up now."
Ryoma made a non-committal sound.
"I don't think it's too late for you to enter the scene," Kachiro plunged on, not in the least deterred.
"Eh-?" A unibrowed Horio in a horribly loud, checkered green-and-yellow suit sidled up to them. "The way you talk, you'd think you're an actual player, not just a ball boy," he declared, loudly enough for everyone in the room to hear.
Kachiro flushed but knew the other boy didn't mean to be as tactless as he often was. He blurted things out without considering the results. "It's true that I don't have any talent," Kachiro admitted. "But I love the game and I'll support it in any way I can."
He whirled back around to Ryoma, fists doubled up and eyes hopeful. "That's why I think you should definitely go pro! You have the natural talent and the discipline! You can lead Japan to the top!"
"Yada."
Kachiro deflated.
"There's just no reasoning with the guy," Horio proclaimed, arms spread in a what-can-you-do gesture. "Who else would give up hitting balls to arrange flowers?"
"Akutsu-senpai, Sengoku-senpai, and Taichi," Ryoma countered flatly. "Oh, and that guy." He jerked his thumb over at Shinji, who gave up looking dazedly at a discolored spot on the ceiling to glance over. "Although his store's still mada mada da ne."
"So what are you doing now anyway?" Katsuo asked Horio, veering off a fight.
Horio puffed up. "I'm a sales representative for preowned vehicular transports," he bragged. "Why with my two years of experience, I've already--"
"So basically, you're a used car dealer," Ryoma interrupted. "That explains the suit."
"Eh? What's wrong with the way I'm dressed?" Horio plucked at his clothing with genuine confusion as the others stifled snickers behind their hands.
"Hey, Echizen!" Ryoma was saved from present company by a guy with spiked orange hair and magenta eyes, waving him over.
The other half of the Gyokurin pair stood next to him, the sleeves of his shirt pushed all the way up to his shoulder and dark blue hair loosened from its usual ponytail. "Where's Momo?" Fukawa asked curiously.
"That's what I'm wondering." Sengoku draped himself over Ryoma's shoulder. "Ecchi-kun, where's your dear Omoshiro-senpai?"
"How should I know?" Ryoma muttered irritably, batting his co-worker away. "And stop calling me that."
Sengoku paid no attention as he spotted a couple of old teammates at another part of the room. "Hey, Jimis!" he saluted.
"Don't call us that!" Minami and Higashikata said as one, echoing Ryoma's earlier sentiment.
Meanwhile, Inui Sadaharu, dressed in an unremarkable gray suit, was methodically working his way around the room. He jotted down the information he collected on his nifty palm pilot, muttering "good data" every once in a while.
"So, Arai." His eyes weren't visible behind the apparently one-way glasses but Arai had the distinct feeling he was being checked up and down. "You're looking pretty good."
It was an innocent enough statement, because it was undeniably true. Chocolately brown hair was cut in a short, smart style and the classy black suit was tailored to show off Arai's athletic form. His loafers were highly polished, and his entire appearance was impeccably flawless. Inui noted that Arai looked quite at ease in his attire, as if it was something he wore on a daily basis.
"Ah- well." Arai scratched his head embarrassedly. Innocent or not, he couldn't help recalling that his upperclassman had once had a 'date' with Kaidoh, and Inui's low, sensual way of speaking only added to the ambiguity of his compliment.
"Thank you," he settled for saying.
"I saw you driving up in the Ferrari," Inui continued, electronic pen held poised above the tablet. "What do you do for a living?"
"Um..."
"He's a chauffeur," Ikeda supplied helpfully. The cute smattering of freckles hadn't faded a bit, giving him an impish look. "He's working tonight, too."
Arai nudged his friend to shut up but then decided there was no use hiding it. "I'm Wakato Hiroshi's personal driver."
"Wakato Hiroshi." Inui looked up the profile to jog his memory. "Ah, the Pretender. He's in that popular TV drama right now, isn't he?"
"You're so lucky, man," Hayashi informed Arai. "You get to be around all those hot actresses."
"Yeah, and they really notice the guy opening up the door for THE Wakato Hiroshi," Arai shot back sarcastically, after making sure his boss wasn't within earshot. Wakato was busy holding court to all the gay men in the room, posing in a contrived manner while his old teammates shot him exasperated looks. "And I thought that Hyotei had a diva for a captain."
"What about Hyotei?"
The last time they had seen Shishido Ryo, he had been sporting a close-cropped 'do and multiple injuries. He had grown out his pride and joy again, and silky dark locks fell over his eyes seductively and spilled down his back. The top few of his buttons were undone, and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows to reveal smooth and perfect skin that would make any woman jealous. He looked every bit the part of the fashion photographer that he was.
"Shishido-san." Ohtori Choutaroh gave Shishido a boyishly innocent look. "I found the others."
Inui followed with interest, not having updated his information on the former Hyotei boys yet. Akutagawa Jiroh was predictably snoozing and didn't even stir as Mukahi Gakuto kicked the sofa he was on, hoping to jar him awake.
"It's impossible," remarked Oshitari as he pushed up his glasses with a gloved hand. His dark blue hair had streaks of lighter blue, purple, and pink running through it. "We'll have to wait for Kabaji."
"Oshitariii!" Eiji glomped onto the tall boy as if he was a long-lost brother, and some of the feathers that lined Oshitari's full-length trenchcoat fluttered off. "My sister's a huge fan of your group! She listens to your CDs all the time! Can you sign this for her, huh huh? If you don't, she'll kill me," Eiji wailed.
"It's no problem." The J-rocker turned Gakuto around to use his back as a writing board.
"Write something personal! Like, 'To my number one fan, with all my love. I want you to be the mother of my child,'" Eiji recited. "Thanks nya!"
Gakuto smirked. "Speaking of which... I heard you had a child, Kikumaru. Where is the precious little tyke?"
"Kenji? He's staying with Syuichiroh's parents tonight." Eiji was instantly on guard. Gakuto never had anything nice to say to him.
"Oh. Well... I see fatherhood has really changed you." Gakuto put a hand on his hip. "You look so... robust."
Eiji brightened. "Thanks! You look pretty good yourself nya!"
"Judging by his body language and delivery, there's an 87 percent probability that he meant that as an insult," Inui burst his bubble and Gakuto's smirk deepened.
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
"He just implied that you've gained weight."
"No he didn't! And no I didn't!" Eiji denied, stamping his foot. "I-NU-I! It's not true, is it?"
The data man studied him critically. "Waist, up 1/3 inch, hips, 1/2 inch, arms look a little thicker," he gave his best estimate as he circled his hand around the upper arm. "You haven't been following my dietary suggestions, have you?"
Eiji jerked away in mortification, then pinched to check for any signs of flab himself.
Oshitari's penmanship suffered as Gakuto shook with laughter, head tilted back as he cackled out "Hahahahah" in manaical glee.
"I'm still the same sizes as I was five years ago," Gakuto preened once he had recovered, displaying his lithe form. He then stepped away and did a forward flip mid-air. "Just as flexible, too."
Oshitari appraised him lustfully as he handed Eiji back the pen and album cover.
"While you've been busy packing on the pounds and growing creaky with age, I've been keeping my shape as an aerobics instructor. You should really consider attending a few sessions."
"Hi-hi-hidoi!" Eiji fled for the kitchen, knocking down the midget from Shounan.
"What's his problem?" Ohta grumbled, as the hulking giant Kirayama helped him up.
"Mukahi Gakuto, aerobics instructor." Inui recorded the fact. "Eiji, worried about his weight? Good data."
"What do you do, Inui-san?" Choutaroh wondered why the other man wasn't running after his friend to console him. That's what he would do if it had been Shishido that had fled.
"Something to do with numbers, would be my guess," a voice came at his elbow and Choutaroh jumped. Fuji had a way of appearing without warning.
"I'm an actuary." Seeing the blank faces, Inui elaborated, "I work with insurance companies, figuring out rates to charge based on various factors. I also do some freelance consulting work. For example, I was meeting with the representatives of a major car company. It turns out there was a problem with the airbag, where it would cause bone-crushing chest injury in 35 percent of the cases it was deployed."
The others, sans Fuji, cringed. "How horrible."
"Yes, well, they wanted me to figure out the cost of recalling and correcting the error in all cars that were already sold, as well as for adjusting the ones in production." Inui tapped a few keys on his palm pilot, and data charts and numbers scrolled across the screen. "But based on the calculations of probable accidents involving airbag deployment and the amount of settlement per suit, it's more economically efficient to pay out liability as it comes up."
The others looked pale. "So... so they're keeping the bone-crushing thing?"
"Well, they're free to use the information any way they wish," Inui remarked diffidently. "But I would be careful if I drove a certain popular two-door model." He directed a meaningful gaze at Taki Haginosuke, who started to whimper.
"Momoshiro!" The group turned to see the tall, spiky haired man stride into the room, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.
"Sorry I'm late!" he waved. "I was pulled over for speeding and had to run 20 laps around the block." He moved in further, revealing a frowning Tezuka Kunimitsu behind him.
At the sight of the former Seigaku captain, lips turned down stiffly and arms folded across his uniformed chest, people stopped talking and started to shift guiltily, trying to remember if they had done anything illegal. The nameplate on his breast pocket glinted with the weight of authority of the youngest police captain in precinct history.
"Didn't he know this was a party?" Uchimura whispered, pulling the brim of his cap lower to hide his face.
"Tezuka." Tachibana offering his hand in greeting and Tezuka clasped it.
"Tachibana. It's been a while."
That seemed to break the ice and everyone returned to what they had previously been doing.
Ever popular with the guys, Momoshiro was instantly surrounded and treated to multiple high-fives and poundings on the back.
"Stop by the courts when you have time," Izumi challenged. "Me and Fukawa still owe you for the last time."
"Yo Omoshiro-kun! You're still unlucky as usual, ne?" Sengoku winked. "I've never gotten pulled over."
"Momoshiro. It's good to see you."
"Momo-chan-senpai!"
With so many people clamoring for Momoshiro's attention, it was hard for Oishi to get himself heard. "Uh, guys!" he shouted anyway. "The... uh..." He trailed off, completely unheard.
"Allow me." Atobe Keigo lifted a hand regally and Kabaji put his fingers to his lips. A loud, shrill whistle pierced the room.
When he was sure every eye was on him, the former Hyotei captain shed off his long coat to reveal thigh-high bitch boots and a tight leather outfit adorned with buckles and chains.
"Gentlemen," he greeted, handing the coat to Kabaji. "Your stripper has arrived. Let the party begin."
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On to Part 3
posted on Fanfiction.net [August 27, 2003]