[Fan Fic] Rin Kagamine

[stratergy_love]

So, I decided to do a series of Vocaloid fanfics, because I have nothing better to do.
Now, I finally finished Rin's! I wanted to do hers by herself because I have a different idea for Len.

Title:  Observant Child? Or an Understanding Woman?
Author/Artist/Circles: your truly
Characters/Pairings: Rin, Len, Kaito, Meiko, Luka, Gakupo, Miku, brief Gumi

Comments

[decongestant]

ffft this is cute &hearts The bits with Kaito & Meiko made me smile 8);; /lame

One thing I might suggest, though, would be to break up your paragraphs a bit more. I'm pretty bad at explaining things, so I'll give an example~

"Wow! You guys, that was really good!!", Miku ran over to hug them, her long ponytails flocking over their eyes. "I can't wait to hear it finished!", Miku giggled and skipped away, Len fixed his ponytail.

"Honestly, that Miku, she's too hyper for her own good...", he tried to sound angry, but all Rin could see were smiles.

Miku waltzed back in, "Oh, Len!!!", she handed a bright, orange gift bag to him. "I finished it! You'd better wear it!""

Breaking it up like that makes it easier on the eyes when you read it; hope this helps~! 8)

[stratergy_love]

I'm pretty sure I did...unless LJ messed with my format again >/

Thanks!

[decongestant]

np &hearts

Guess it did 8( it looks much better now~!

Good job!!!!

[glider383]

I thought it was really good, I got a little confused at the end, until I realized that Gumi was the new vocaloid with green hair. This fanfic included all of my favorite pairings for the Vocaloids, except one. If only Miku and Rin could switch places... *cough* Any aways, good job again! ^_^

Re: Good job!!!!

[stratergy_love]

Oh wow, thanks.

Didn't think people will still find this lmao