(no subject)
No one really uses LIVEJOURNAL anymore...but maybe I will start a trend.
Christmas is almost here which is pretty thrilling I am not going to lie. I love California. Got my nails done yesturday, went shopping, go out to eat a lot. I love my grandparents....they are serisously two of the most amazing people in my life. I want to get a video cam for xmas because I want to give them an interview of all those things that I have lawyas wanted to know. My grandma keeps saying things like "if there is a next year" and I dont like it. makes me sad. anyways mygrandma has this specail xmas cheer. She was a typical 50's lady and s justso cheerful and nice. its almost a curse though because she never sees the evil in poeple. We did the xmas lights yesturday and by we Imena me.....but they look really nice..and so does the tree. It really is beautiful here. she lives in the valley surrounded by mountains....and when you dirve out of it you get to San Fransisco...one of the greatest cities on earth....otherthan ny and La. anyways....Xmas whoudl eb fun and I miss you all.
High Schoolers are so naive, we think we get it...but we don't. I don't. I always think that I do....but I have no idea. I was talking to my teacher Coach Lowe (the best english teacher I have ever had...one of the smartest people I have yet to meet, juniors PRAY you get him)and we were talking about my grades...and how they have changed and gotten so much better. I found myslef saying... "If I only knew thenwhat I knew now" when I said that I thought...1. oh my god I feel old for saying that. and 2. I will probably say that soo much more in years to come. We are all so dumb, taking concepts from movies and applying it to our own lives...reality check...Life isn't liek the movies...it is real..it is harsh..and it doesn't care if it's YOU who is the HOBO on the street. Mommy and Daddy aren't going to always be able to bail you out of all the stupid shit that you do. And they are..then that is sad because you will never grow up. I've always kinda never wanted to grow up...
but I have learned..that I have to. there is no other option. Coming into this new year I have some goals...some ways that I need to open my eyes and stop looking for an excuse to be a little kid. People count on me..I have responsiblities...being cute is starting not to cut it. Just like when I look back and think of how my whole life has switched around I know that next year is going to be even worse... Like last year I was dating Justin, my Best friend Was Michelle, I was friends with lisa and andy and god...I had a deal of friends... But now EVERYTHING has changed... Its oka though...change is good. It helps us deal with our issues and makes issues to deal with. It weird how the senior class only has one more semester...then we are all off, and we will never have the whole class toegther ever again. Its starnge to see the same people in your grade everyday and then know that sometime in the future you will all be off. It feels different to me knowing that my first choice college is on the other side of the country. People like Tim are going to feel differently because they are not going to a local college or a college just one state away. They are taking a whole new step... he knows what he is going to do for the next few years of his life... and is going to have a hell of the time doing it. It makes me sad to know that Casey and tom are probably going to be right all along... I may not ever see some people ever again once I toss my hat. I think the scariest thing for me is what I am going to do with all my relationships and what is bound to come...no one really knows because we can only live our life once and we just haven't gotten there yet. Tim... I am scared about that one... I guess it's like he says "we'll see how everything ends up" So instead of doing a stupid little list of things for the new year I think I am going to end with this... This new year I am going to do my best and try to make the best decisions. I am gogin to make the most with what I have and graduate with all that I can, may that be with honors or no honors at all. I am going to welcome a new chapter of my life that is to come and LOVE EVERYONE WITH ALL i HAVE WHIle they are here with me may it be you who is reading this, my grandparents, or friends that aren't reading this.
ugh..okay I feel better now for getting that all out there. not gunna read it and check to see if it makes sense...I am just going to leave it...here.
miss everyone in Ga
BETH JENN MANDY CARRIE CC PEEPS AND "ZORDOZ" IN PARTICULAR (TIMMY INCLUDED)