a restless christmas morning
i sit here, in the wee hours of the morning...not in much of a mood to sleep, not much of a mood to do anything useful or energy consuming. i often find it funny how the world revolves around how people think about you. they will treat you different based on how they feel, think, see things about you. one woman/man will find you ugly, annoying, repulsive (like rita) then the next will think you are the finest thing, will do anything, tell you anything, give you anything your little mind will tend to desire. then you have the odds and ends who will come to you to be a verbal punching bag, and when they are done with their excerise/release, they move on with the day and call themselves thankful for having you around. there was a case, where a girl didn't think i was all that (i mean i've had my unwanted ratio of things going that way, but you get what i'm saying) was 'scared' to hang out with me, but...she starts talking to one of my friends, lies to me about nearly everything, and calls him/talks to him at least once a day. i'm not mad about her finding someone of more interest to her, but the lying is what really got me. she wouldn't go down to a public place with me, but will go out to the movies with a buddy of mine cuz she thinks he's attractive. there's never really a balance ground with everyone. you'll always wanna talk about somethings with some people, and others with others.
its something that can't be helped. our emotions dictate who gets to know what about themselves, and what actions that will take place in their relationships with these people. some people can over look this and figure things out to better suit them. others, will never catch the clue and have an eternity of loneliness. it'll be an endless struggle between homeboys, homegirls, and their significant others around their friends. for in the back of their mind, they will think the one they are in the relationship with is always plotting something. something, that would end the relationship, with no questions asked. this is why, if my current relationship were to end for any given reason, i will seriously stray away from a serious relationship, for i didn't truly recover from the first true serious relationship i had, it'd be a much needed rest. both mind and soul need it.
but eh, i dunno. maybe i'm just trippin...*Shrugs*
its something that can't be helped. our emotions dictate who gets to know what about themselves, and what actions that will take place in their relationships with these people. some people can over look this and figure things out to better suit them. others, will never catch the clue and have an eternity of loneliness. it'll be an endless struggle between homeboys, homegirls, and their significant others around their friends. for in the back of their mind, they will think the one they are in the relationship with is always plotting something. something, that would end the relationship, with no questions asked. this is why, if my current relationship were to end for any given reason, i will seriously stray away from a serious relationship, for i didn't truly recover from the first true serious relationship i had, it'd be a much needed rest. both mind and soul need it.
but eh, i dunno. maybe i'm just trippin...*Shrugs*