Comments | strike_out: feeling stuck

strike_out

feeling stuck

Feb 05, 2006 21:24

i feel stuck in this self-destructive space. i try all these other outlets but nothing works. i've been mixing and matching these methods of destruction and having different outcomes each time. but it sucks. i haven't felt quite in this same space since high school, but at that time it was just one method, whereas over the years when cutting ( Read more... )

Comments 8

(The comment has been removed)

strike_out February 6 2006, 04:10:58 UTC

i do. i know you are there. but i hate talking to people about this. i hate people worrying about me. but i know regardless, people do.

and when have tried to talk to people about it, i get lost in my thoughts, i don't remember what i was saying. i get upset and angry for having the need to tell someone. i feel that people just won't get it. people will be upset at me, and i will cause them worry. i don't want that.

i write it here, not really expecting responses, but more to get it out.

i just wish i could make those phone calls, but i am too afraid. but i know i need to. i just can't do it.

when i called my doctor to ask about that xanax for the flight, it took a week of nagging from my family for me to do it, and several times of calling and hanging up when i got someone on the other end.

i'm just chicken shit.

coppertosteel February 6 2006, 04:39:24 UTC

hun, i know you don't want people to worry. but i am. because i know what it's like. please call sometime. i miss you.

strike_out February 6 2006, 06:22:00 UTC

i'll work on giving you a call tomorrow.
i suck at this kind of stuff though.

im_not_okay_05 February 6 2006, 05:01:52 UTC

Hey you. I get it. We should hang out. You don't have to talk about it with me, we can just get coffee, and just be.

Take care of you first. I know it's hard. I seriously fucking know. You've done it before though and I know you can do it again.

Be safe.

♥ bailey

strike_out February 6 2006, 06:21:11 UTC

when do you have free time?
i'm up for that.

im_not_okay_05 February 6 2006, 12:07:06 UTC

Let me look at my schedule and I'll get back to you ok? I think I have this coming Friday and or Sunday available, and just want to make sure before I provide any definites.

be safe

♥

~ Bailey

pandorasshadow February 7 2006, 04:29:09 UTC

That kinda scares me...what you said about depression.....

ANyways...I think you're Dream is about you feeling vulnerable and exposed...
You said you first start out alone...an a cold, clouded place...
feeling alone is like that....maybe the clouds symbolize you not being able to see clearly for some reason...maybe it's self-doubt, maybe it's something else....
you would know better than anyone else...

your bones coming out could mean a few things...but I think it's parts of you-perhaps hidden aspects-wanting to come out...
wanting to be exposed and seen>?

The worms coming out...maybe it's fear.....fear of letting people see these aspects that you are somehow keeping hidden...

Anyways, just random guesses....I really don't know that much about you, but sometimes that helps.

~Justine

strike_out February 7 2006, 04:43:49 UTC

That really makes sense once you spell it out. That could be it, or it could be something totally different! I really have no idea... time will tell, or maybe I can pay someone to tell me, because damnmed if I know! But that is a good possibility. It clicks with what I am going through.

Thank you for the comment, and I hope you're doing okay.

Yeah, and about the depression, I had several "professionals" tell me that. But everyone is different.