fifteen | Your friendly neighborhood paperboy does whatever a paperboy can

[strike_you_out]

[ Mayfield has a new paperboy. One who would much rather beat you to death with your own newspaper than deliver it to you. And above all, he would personally like to bludgeon whomever is in charge of these ridiculous job assignments.]

[Phone | Unfiltered ]

I don't want to be a paperboy.

But if Mayfield wants its newspapers, then Mayfield will get

Comments

B

[deaths_heritor]

[Surprisingly enough, Susan has never had that feeling. On occasion, she's the one doing the watching. When Slugger is done with Edward, he will, as usual, find Susan sitting up in bed reading.]

Shall I leave you a tip?

[strike_you_out]

[He appears quite suddenly seated atop the headboard just beside Susan. Elbows resting on his knees, he leans forward to peer down at her with a grin and an unmistakable air of mischief.]

Why. Got something?

[If it's money, he's not interested...]

[deaths_heritor]

[Susan doesn't even look up as she reaches over to give him five slow pats on the head.]

There you are. Get ready for school now.

[strike_you_out]

[...With every pat his brow creases a little deeper. He then straightens to fix his hat.]

Can't. Mayfield made you a teacher. It made me a paperboy.

[He is not pleased with this, no ma'am. Which is why he intends to be the worst paperboy in the history of paperboys.]

Also... it's Saturday.

A

[anastynastya]

[ Who on earth was causing all of that racket at this ungodly hour? Was the sky falling in Mayfield yet again? Anastasia carefully opens the blinds and takes a peek. ]

[strike_you_out]

[Not the sky, just the news. The moment the blinds are drawn, a rolled-up newspaper hits the window. It strikes with enough force to rattle the pane in its frame but not enough to break the glass.

Out on the front lawn is a boy with a baseball bat and a sack full of papers. He seems quite pleased with himself.]

[anastynastya]

[ Anastasia instinctively ducks even though she knows the window is closed. Whatever was that for? She raises the window because clearly it is a good idea to give someone a piece of your mind immediately after they intentionally chucked a newspaper at you. ]

And just why are you grinning like a Cheshire cat this morning?

[strike_you_out]

[Slugger peers up at her after pulling the strap over his shoulder.]

I'm the paperboy. I 'deliver the news with a smile'.

[Supplemental nefarious grin.]

B

[hungry_monster]

[Johan is at his desk. ..who sleeps in a bed anyway? But being stared at is enough to wake someone up. He rubs his forehead and looks over.]

Hello Slugger, is there something I can help you with?

[Nothing really phases him.]

[strike_you_out]

[Slugger is surprised to find you asleep at all, Johan. Until now he couldn't imagine you being one to ever give in to sleep. He grins and takes a newspaper from the bag at his shoulder.]

So this is where you live.

[hungry_monster]

[Even monsters have to sleep Slugger.]

Yes. This is it.

[strike_you_out]

Mayfield chose me to deliver its news...

[He drops the paper onto Johan's desk. It's dirty and a bit charred, but still readable.]

I think it was a mistake.

B

[velvet_cake]

[He's just sleeping on the couch, because who the hell gets up at 5:30 am.]

[strike_you_out]

[In another minute, you.

The backrest of the sofa creaks quietly as something fairly heavy settles upon it. Once seated, the intruder stares down at the sleeping man---or is it a boy? A lady? Whatever, he stares for nearly a whole minute before opening a page of a newspaper and teeeeaaaring it in two. At this ungodly hour, the sound is obscenely loud...]

[velvet_cake]

[Yeah, sometimes it's hard to tell with Waver.]

[At the sound of tearing paper, he jerked awake.]

--Eh?

[strike_you_out]

[It happens again at very close range and large pieces of shredded newspaper begin to rain down over the couch.]

A

[decadenzas]

[ah, one of those rare occasions when he's kind of glad he's up at all hours! a window swings open only a few moments after the thunk and an irritated-looking child pokes his head out, looking for the source of the noise]

[strike_you_out]

[If he happens to look down, Charles will likely spot a newspaper in the bushes beside his house. However, the true source of the noise can be found at the edge of the street stuffing a rolled-up newspaper into the exhaust pipe of a car...]

[decadenzas]

[oh... definitely not the drone paperboy, then. he cups a hand round his mouth to call out in Slugger's direction]

Aim for the door next time, would you? Some people are trying to sleep. [says the one carelessly shouting out the window at five in the morning]

[strike_you_out]

[Slugger is in the process of wielding his bat like a golf club, trying to drive the paper further into the pipe when he realizes someone is shouting at him and looks up. He vanishes...

...and promptly reappears in Charles' window, sitting half inside and half outside the room with his back curled against the window frame. The upper half of his face is obscured by his cap, but on the lower is a grin.]

Did it wake you up?