muse_shuffle | January Disc One
Track 02. Don't be shy, baby, don't be careful with me
Let it go, let it 'solve me down
[‘White Chocolate Space Egg’ - Liz Phair]
Co-written with canmakeufeel
[Follows THIS]
Flynn was sitting slumped on the sofa sipping a mug of black tea when Maddy appeared in the living room that morning. The blanket he had in the early hours of the morning after getting home had been discarded in a messy pile on the floor and the only time he had moved all morning was to make the tea to settle his stomach. He had woken with a queasy sensation in it but he knew it was just residual from his trauma the night before. He hadn't slept much either, but he wasn't opposed to leaving his stagnant arse on that very sofa for the remainder of the day. He had called his agency as soon as the clock ticked over to 9am and cancelled every appointment that coming week. He didn't give any explanation beyond saying he had a family emergency. It wasn't a lie. He was his own family... sort of. "Mornin', love," he murmured and cleared his throat. His hands were tucked possessively around the mug as he enjoyed the warmth of the porcelain. "Sleep well?"
Madison arched an eyebrow and looked at Flynn. She was trying to work out what had happened. It wasn't often that he came home without crawling into their bed, even with Remy gone. No matter what, she could always rely on Flynn to cuddle up to her and make her feel safe. Now she wondered if he had needed the cuddling and she didn't even know. He looked like crap, but she wasn't sure she could mention it without sounding blunt. Especially since she was still half-asleep. Maddy flopped down into one of the big chairs and pushed her hair back from her face. "I slept okay. I'm guessing you didn't sleep too good, baby. You okay?"
"I got in late," was Flynn's response and completely missing her pointed question. He sipped the tea and looked down at his bare feet resting up on the coffee table. "Remy called about fifteen minutes ago. He wasn't very chatty. Just checking in as usual. He was bitching about how cold the morning was. Do anything interesting yesterday?" he asked.
Madison frowned. "You didn't wake me so I could at least say hi? Maybe we should get him warm pajamas..." Maddy rubbed her eyes before she scratched her nose and curled in on herself. It had to be more than getting in late, Flynn was being evasive. He was never evasive. Well, he was when he had something to hide. Her brown eyes studied him before she just went with the subject change. It was too early to fight. "Got my haircut, and the stands and stuff got delivered to the store. Now I just need merchandise."
"He told me not to. He had just finished working out with Chase or something and had that 'I'm in pain, don't make me talk more than I have to' sound in his tone. He wanted to talk to you but I think he wanted to get in the shower. Call him later. He won't care. I just was the target of the rant. Rogue probably wasn't around to whine at." Flynn set the mug down on the table beside him and stretched stiffly, pushing a hand through his hair. He kept his feet where they were. It was the most comfortable position he could find. "Have you ordered it all yet, or that's the next step?"
"Lucky you then, huh? Always fun being on the end of a Cajun rant. I swear, for as strong as he is, he is just such a whiner," Madison replied with a quiet laugh. She could even hear him in her head whining about needing a shower, and how cold the morning was. She watched Flynn stretch out, still tempted to probe him about what was wrong. "Next step. I got some of the things picked out, but not all. I want to make sure there's a good range, even for the bigger sizes. Nothing worse than walking into a store made for skinny bitches. Even if I am one."
Flynn nodded. "Makes sense. Size has never bothered me. All girls should feel nice," he said. "He did send his love. He's going to the hospital to visit the baby with Rogue later. I can't help but wonder if we're edging the realms of Cajun Cluckiness," he admitted. "At the very least, he seems to like that particular bundle of joy and that will go without saying for Rogue's when she comes."
"Do you think he's getting more at home with the idea of being the girl's godfather? I still can't believe our Cajun is getting clucky... I didn't even really think about it until he started asking me all that stuff at Christmas. How do you feel about it all?" Madison moved off the chair, sick of the distance. She'd missed Flynn, and while she didn't try and sit next to him on the sofa, she did sit on the floor beside him and even stole his tea to take a sip.
Flynn shrugged. "Not like my sperm is on the menu. I say he'll get over it when he realises just what is involved caring for a baby. He's got it good right now. He just needs to watch because Lachlan will be Super Dad and have all the gross, tiring parts in hand. Remy just gets to be a spectator." He gripped hold of the arm rest of the sofa as she sat, even the small jolt of the cushions under him hurting his dick. "What did he say at Christmas?"
Madison frowned as she looked up at him from her spot on the floor. All talk of Remy and babies was gone as she saw the way he gripped the arm rest. "What happened?"
Flynn closed his eyes as he exhaled heavily and pushed his hair back. "Overenthusiastic client," he mumbled.
Madison's lips parted to say something, but then she had second thoughts and her frown deepened. "It's more than that. I know you, baby. If it was an overenthusiastic client you'd be laughing about it. You're not laughing."
"I'm just tired," Flynn returned quietly. Remy had asked him what was wrong too, but changing his tone of voice over the phone to convince the Cajun he was okay was much easier than this. He didn't feel like smiling or laughing and any attempt to fake it would be seen through by Maddy immediately. He picked the tea up again and took a slow sip, shrugging in an attempt to dismiss it.
Maddy turned away for a second to consider her bare feet. She wiggled her painted toes and tried to work out her next move. She would have to tread carefully. "Let's hang out today. Just you and me and some DVDs. We can stay here, or we can hang out in bed. Or... I can leave you alone if that's what you want."
"I nearly got raped," was Flynn's flat answer.
Madison was on her knees in an instant, and turned to face him. Her face reflected shock and horror as she gaped at him. She couldn't stop herself, she didn't really know what else to do. "Oh, baby... Fuck. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't know..." She hesitated before she reached out to touch his face, softly stroking his cheek. The shock and horror disappeared to get replaced by anger. "I'll kill them."
Flynn shook his head. "Don't, Maddy," he mumbled tiredly and pushed his fingers to his temple. "I just want to forget about it. I should have known she was going to be a problem. She had an attitude. I should have ended the appointment and given her the money back. By the time I was in her apartment, she had turned into psycho bitch and I was trapped."
Tears pricked the backs of Maddy's eyes and she blinked them away. They were a combination of anger and sadness. "Then let's hang out, you and me. We haven't done it in ages. I've... I've missed you," she told him quietly. Even after the conversation with Ali, she still knew Flynn was a huge part of her. And even with them still living together, she still felt like she'd missed him. "We've got so much ice cream still, and it's not like I have anywhere to be. I can take my time with the store."
Flynn nodded and readjusted the t-shirt over his scratched chest. "Yeah, that sounds good. No rush. I'm taking the rest of the week off," he told her. He knew that was really going to illustrate the enormity of the situation to Maddy. To voluntarily take that amount of time from his schedule was massive. "Please tell me there is something other than fucking vanilla in the freezer. I love him, but the vanilla needs to go."
Maddy touched his cheeks again and leaned in to kiss his lips softly. She wanted to be able to take away the pain so badly. "Just say the word and I can flood you with happy," she offered. "And yeah, there's more than vanilla. I did some shopping. I hate it just as much. And we can start with today, and see how it goes. If you get too bored you can hang out at the store with me for the rest of the week. See how exciting it's not being right now."
Flynn smirked faintly at her. "What do you mean 'not exciting'. You own it, it's yours. How is that not exciting?" He cleared his throat and looked up at the ceiling for a few moments as the enormity of the previous night threatened to swallow him. "Maybe we should take a drive to Princeton at some point," he suggested softly.
"You should see me though. When I'm not on the phone, I'm on the computer and when I'm not on the computer, I'm standing there trying to work out where I want everything to go." She couldn't help but grin though. "But you're right, it's mine and it is exciting!" Maddy twirled a lock of his hair around her finger, fighting hard not to lay over him. "A drive to Princeton would be good. Really good."
"But that's great, love. You deserve it... way more than catering to the whims of horny bastards at the club. Plus, you get to test out the products of your 'back room'. That's got to be a plus right there. Think we can get Remy in a French maid outfit?" Flynn joked but the laugh filtered out almost as soon as it started. "I don't want to tell him."
Maddy let out a heavy sigh. "I thought we weren't meant to keep secrets anymore." So said the one who'd recently had a one night stand and hadn't told Flynn or Remy.
"He'll react the same as you, only he has the means to pull it off in the blink of an eye, injury or not. Half those people at that school scared the living shit out of me. If I tell him about this, what do you think he'll do? I know what he'll do. He'll immediately drop the ball with his physiotherapy and could end up doing himself more harm than good. Plus, how do I explain something like this to him? It's different with you. It just is. This isn't exactly one of my proudest moments," Flynn sighed and finished his tea, even though it was now on the tepid side.
She watched him, her face twisting as he struggled with the pain. "Oh, baby. If you really want to hide it from him, we can. I'll help you. I just... Never mind. It doesn't matter. The thing that matters is that you're going to heal from this. And that Remy sticks to his physio."
Flynn rested his forehead on his fingers. "I don't know how the right way to deal with it is. Forgetting it seems the best way." He lifted his shirt up to show her all the scratches which had now stopped bleeding. He could see finger-sized bruises around his stomach too from where she had originally tried to hold him down on the bed. "It was just a stupid situation that I misjudged. I knew the risks... this was always a possibility."
Madison gasped, her hand covering her mouth. "Fuck. Fucking fucked up mother fucking bitch. I still kind of want to kill her."
"Yeah, she went lower too. If I wasn't infertile before, I definitely fucking am now," Flynn said bitterly and rubbed his mouth. "But it's my fault. I put myself in the situation so I just need to wear it and get over the fucking funk. I was just moping, as much of a hypocritical bastard I am for trying to coax Remy out of a funk."
She shrugged. "I'm not much better. I only just got out of my own funk. And it's not your fault. You're just used to all the jobs going well. I can't even remember you having a bad night."
"I've had bad nights. I've just never had someone try to claw my dick off or shove a bottle up my arse before..." Flynn grabbed up his cigarette packet roughly, taking one of the smokes out to light it up. To be honest, he wouldn't mind a hit of Remy's hard stuff right now, even if he hardly ever took drugs.
"Shit," Maddy muttered. She sank back down onto the floor, still staying faithfully by Flynn's side. "Have you cleaned the wounds?"
Flynn blew the puff of smoke out and wet his lips. "I showered," he mumbled. "A lot."
Maddy took his free hand in hers and kissed it. "We'll start on the forgetting, baby."
Flynn carefully leaned forward to rest his head on her shoulder. "We'll try," he said quietly.
All muses referenced with permission
Word Count | 2,315
Let it go, let it 'solve me down
[‘White Chocolate Space Egg’ - Liz Phair]
Co-written with canmakeufeel
[Follows THIS]
Flynn was sitting slumped on the sofa sipping a mug of black tea when Maddy appeared in the living room that morning. The blanket he had in the early hours of the morning after getting home had been discarded in a messy pile on the floor and the only time he had moved all morning was to make the tea to settle his stomach. He had woken with a queasy sensation in it but he knew it was just residual from his trauma the night before. He hadn't slept much either, but he wasn't opposed to leaving his stagnant arse on that very sofa for the remainder of the day. He had called his agency as soon as the clock ticked over to 9am and cancelled every appointment that coming week. He didn't give any explanation beyond saying he had a family emergency. It wasn't a lie. He was his own family... sort of. "Mornin', love," he murmured and cleared his throat. His hands were tucked possessively around the mug as he enjoyed the warmth of the porcelain. "Sleep well?"
Madison arched an eyebrow and looked at Flynn. She was trying to work out what had happened. It wasn't often that he came home without crawling into their bed, even with Remy gone. No matter what, she could always rely on Flynn to cuddle up to her and make her feel safe. Now she wondered if he had needed the cuddling and she didn't even know. He looked like crap, but she wasn't sure she could mention it without sounding blunt. Especially since she was still half-asleep. Maddy flopped down into one of the big chairs and pushed her hair back from her face. "I slept okay. I'm guessing you didn't sleep too good, baby. You okay?"
"I got in late," was Flynn's response and completely missing her pointed question. He sipped the tea and looked down at his bare feet resting up on the coffee table. "Remy called about fifteen minutes ago. He wasn't very chatty. Just checking in as usual. He was bitching about how cold the morning was. Do anything interesting yesterday?" he asked.
Madison frowned. "You didn't wake me so I could at least say hi? Maybe we should get him warm pajamas..." Maddy rubbed her eyes before she scratched her nose and curled in on herself. It had to be more than getting in late, Flynn was being evasive. He was never evasive. Well, he was when he had something to hide. Her brown eyes studied him before she just went with the subject change. It was too early to fight. "Got my haircut, and the stands and stuff got delivered to the store. Now I just need merchandise."
"He told me not to. He had just finished working out with Chase or something and had that 'I'm in pain, don't make me talk more than I have to' sound in his tone. He wanted to talk to you but I think he wanted to get in the shower. Call him later. He won't care. I just was the target of the rant. Rogue probably wasn't around to whine at." Flynn set the mug down on the table beside him and stretched stiffly, pushing a hand through his hair. He kept his feet where they were. It was the most comfortable position he could find. "Have you ordered it all yet, or that's the next step?"
"Lucky you then, huh? Always fun being on the end of a Cajun rant. I swear, for as strong as he is, he is just such a whiner," Madison replied with a quiet laugh. She could even hear him in her head whining about needing a shower, and how cold the morning was. She watched Flynn stretch out, still tempted to probe him about what was wrong. "Next step. I got some of the things picked out, but not all. I want to make sure there's a good range, even for the bigger sizes. Nothing worse than walking into a store made for skinny bitches. Even if I am one."
Flynn nodded. "Makes sense. Size has never bothered me. All girls should feel nice," he said. "He did send his love. He's going to the hospital to visit the baby with Rogue later. I can't help but wonder if we're edging the realms of Cajun Cluckiness," he admitted. "At the very least, he seems to like that particular bundle of joy and that will go without saying for Rogue's when she comes."
"Do you think he's getting more at home with the idea of being the girl's godfather? I still can't believe our Cajun is getting clucky... I didn't even really think about it until he started asking me all that stuff at Christmas. How do you feel about it all?" Madison moved off the chair, sick of the distance. She'd missed Flynn, and while she didn't try and sit next to him on the sofa, she did sit on the floor beside him and even stole his tea to take a sip.
Flynn shrugged. "Not like my sperm is on the menu. I say he'll get over it when he realises just what is involved caring for a baby. He's got it good right now. He just needs to watch because Lachlan will be Super Dad and have all the gross, tiring parts in hand. Remy just gets to be a spectator." He gripped hold of the arm rest of the sofa as she sat, even the small jolt of the cushions under him hurting his dick. "What did he say at Christmas?"
Madison frowned as she looked up at him from her spot on the floor. All talk of Remy and babies was gone as she saw the way he gripped the arm rest. "What happened?"
Flynn closed his eyes as he exhaled heavily and pushed his hair back. "Overenthusiastic client," he mumbled.
Madison's lips parted to say something, but then she had second thoughts and her frown deepened. "It's more than that. I know you, baby. If it was an overenthusiastic client you'd be laughing about it. You're not laughing."
"I'm just tired," Flynn returned quietly. Remy had asked him what was wrong too, but changing his tone of voice over the phone to convince the Cajun he was okay was much easier than this. He didn't feel like smiling or laughing and any attempt to fake it would be seen through by Maddy immediately. He picked the tea up again and took a slow sip, shrugging in an attempt to dismiss it.
Maddy turned away for a second to consider her bare feet. She wiggled her painted toes and tried to work out her next move. She would have to tread carefully. "Let's hang out today. Just you and me and some DVDs. We can stay here, or we can hang out in bed. Or... I can leave you alone if that's what you want."
"I nearly got raped," was Flynn's flat answer.
Madison was on her knees in an instant, and turned to face him. Her face reflected shock and horror as she gaped at him. She couldn't stop herself, she didn't really know what else to do. "Oh, baby... Fuck. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't know..." She hesitated before she reached out to touch his face, softly stroking his cheek. The shock and horror disappeared to get replaced by anger. "I'll kill them."
Flynn shook his head. "Don't, Maddy," he mumbled tiredly and pushed his fingers to his temple. "I just want to forget about it. I should have known she was going to be a problem. She had an attitude. I should have ended the appointment and given her the money back. By the time I was in her apartment, she had turned into psycho bitch and I was trapped."
Tears pricked the backs of Maddy's eyes and she blinked them away. They were a combination of anger and sadness. "Then let's hang out, you and me. We haven't done it in ages. I've... I've missed you," she told him quietly. Even after the conversation with Ali, she still knew Flynn was a huge part of her. And even with them still living together, she still felt like she'd missed him. "We've got so much ice cream still, and it's not like I have anywhere to be. I can take my time with the store."
Flynn nodded and readjusted the t-shirt over his scratched chest. "Yeah, that sounds good. No rush. I'm taking the rest of the week off," he told her. He knew that was really going to illustrate the enormity of the situation to Maddy. To voluntarily take that amount of time from his schedule was massive. "Please tell me there is something other than fucking vanilla in the freezer. I love him, but the vanilla needs to go."
Maddy touched his cheeks again and leaned in to kiss his lips softly. She wanted to be able to take away the pain so badly. "Just say the word and I can flood you with happy," she offered. "And yeah, there's more than vanilla. I did some shopping. I hate it just as much. And we can start with today, and see how it goes. If you get too bored you can hang out at the store with me for the rest of the week. See how exciting it's not being right now."
Flynn smirked faintly at her. "What do you mean 'not exciting'. You own it, it's yours. How is that not exciting?" He cleared his throat and looked up at the ceiling for a few moments as the enormity of the previous night threatened to swallow him. "Maybe we should take a drive to Princeton at some point," he suggested softly.
"You should see me though. When I'm not on the phone, I'm on the computer and when I'm not on the computer, I'm standing there trying to work out where I want everything to go." She couldn't help but grin though. "But you're right, it's mine and it is exciting!" Maddy twirled a lock of his hair around her finger, fighting hard not to lay over him. "A drive to Princeton would be good. Really good."
"But that's great, love. You deserve it... way more than catering to the whims of horny bastards at the club. Plus, you get to test out the products of your 'back room'. That's got to be a plus right there. Think we can get Remy in a French maid outfit?" Flynn joked but the laugh filtered out almost as soon as it started. "I don't want to tell him."
Maddy let out a heavy sigh. "I thought we weren't meant to keep secrets anymore." So said the one who'd recently had a one night stand and hadn't told Flynn or Remy.
"He'll react the same as you, only he has the means to pull it off in the blink of an eye, injury or not. Half those people at that school scared the living shit out of me. If I tell him about this, what do you think he'll do? I know what he'll do. He'll immediately drop the ball with his physiotherapy and could end up doing himself more harm than good. Plus, how do I explain something like this to him? It's different with you. It just is. This isn't exactly one of my proudest moments," Flynn sighed and finished his tea, even though it was now on the tepid side.
She watched him, her face twisting as he struggled with the pain. "Oh, baby. If you really want to hide it from him, we can. I'll help you. I just... Never mind. It doesn't matter. The thing that matters is that you're going to heal from this. And that Remy sticks to his physio."
Flynn rested his forehead on his fingers. "I don't know how the right way to deal with it is. Forgetting it seems the best way." He lifted his shirt up to show her all the scratches which had now stopped bleeding. He could see finger-sized bruises around his stomach too from where she had originally tried to hold him down on the bed. "It was just a stupid situation that I misjudged. I knew the risks... this was always a possibility."
Madison gasped, her hand covering her mouth. "Fuck. Fucking fucked up mother fucking bitch. I still kind of want to kill her."
"Yeah, she went lower too. If I wasn't infertile before, I definitely fucking am now," Flynn said bitterly and rubbed his mouth. "But it's my fault. I put myself in the situation so I just need to wear it and get over the fucking funk. I was just moping, as much of a hypocritical bastard I am for trying to coax Remy out of a funk."
She shrugged. "I'm not much better. I only just got out of my own funk. And it's not your fault. You're just used to all the jobs going well. I can't even remember you having a bad night."
"I've had bad nights. I've just never had someone try to claw my dick off or shove a bottle up my arse before..." Flynn grabbed up his cigarette packet roughly, taking one of the smokes out to light it up. To be honest, he wouldn't mind a hit of Remy's hard stuff right now, even if he hardly ever took drugs.
"Shit," Maddy muttered. She sank back down onto the floor, still staying faithfully by Flynn's side. "Have you cleaned the wounds?"
Flynn blew the puff of smoke out and wet his lips. "I showered," he mumbled. "A lot."
Maddy took his free hand in hers and kissed it. "We'll start on the forgetting, baby."
Flynn carefully leaned forward to rest his head on her shoulder. "We'll try," he said quietly.
All muses referenced with permission
Word Count | 2,315