this app thing
( fandom student application )
PLAYER INFORMATION
PLAYER: Chelsea
AGE: 17
CONTACT: aim - smooth hazama
PERSONAL LJ: reload
CHARACTERS PLAYED: None.
CHARACTER INFORMATION
NAME: Dave Strider
CANON: MS Paint Adventures: Homestuck
CANON REFERENCE: http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Dave_Strider
AGE: 13
GENDER: Male
YEAR IN SCHOOL: 7th Grade
ENROLLMENT: Scholarships, as well as Bro's encouragement. Not that he wanted to follow John or anything, no.
APPEARANCE:
- Dave is a rather tall boy for his age, reaching about 169CM in height.
- He has crimson red eyes, but he wears aviators to cover them up, always. On top of that, he has slight bags under his eyes because he really doesn't care for his health.
- He's slim, with just enough muscle to get by.
- He has blonde side-swept hair.
- Pale because he almost never leaves his house.
- It's rare to see him without his signature red and white baseball record shirt. He wears it because it's ironic. Haha.
- With that, he always wears some combination of red, white and black. Always.
- He has defined facial bones, making him look older than he actually is.
PERSONALITY:
DON'T FORGET TO REREAD THIS it's probably filled with so many typos.
There's this really cool dude, ok? He's standing around being all chill, like cool dudes are known to do sometimes. A cool dude like this probably has a real cool name. But he probably wouldn't just tell you what it was if you asked. He'd be way too busy for that. Busy being totally sweet.
But you could always try to guess his name. And if you were right, he might nod ever so slightly. That's a cool dude's way of letting you know there might just be hope for you yet.
This guy doesn't have time for this sort of bullshit.
Dave is the epitome of "a cool bro". I mean, what thirteen-year-old boy drops sick beats and ill jams on turntables and mixing gears, preserves dead things and keeps a level-headed outlook in even the most grim of situations? He describes himself as a satirical ninja, able to see the irony and satire in things that "normal people" cannot, and prides himself on it. Irony within irony, inceptirony. Ironic. That's how he likes to describe himself. It's the theme of his entire existence, thanks to Bro. Every action he takes must present himself as a hip bro to the world, and they can be easily supplemented with his ill yet common excuse, "its ironic" . Doesn't matter if it's weird, unique, out there, uncool in your eyes, or common, if it's ironic, it's good. He won't bother to explain these subtleties to people, they're far too complicated for their unrefined tastes.
Strider pushes himself to be exactly this: an ironic teenager who doesn't bat an eye at the strange occurrences in his all-too-weird life. It's truly what makes him Dave Strider. If he has a remote advantage over you, he isn't afraid to state it in the bluntest way possible, if not jeer you for having less ability than he, and continuously bring it up until you feel the need to punch him. Things considered disconcerting to the general population don't faze Dave at all, he just doesn't care. I quote Dante from DMC wholeheartedly: "he's just too cool." He shelters any insecurities he had as a younger boy (and now, as a young man) with that enhanced almost all-too believable facade of cool; he ignores his issues in favor of appearing appealing to everyone else.
Despite his cool and admirably ignorant demeanor, Dave is extremely faulted. Being practically obsessed with coolness, he fails to see that he is also an INSUFFERABLE PRICK. He's arrogant, rather self centered, cheeky, stubborn and vulgar when it comes to important issues, and life in general. He's the kind of guy who rather speak up about things than listen to others, and no matter how many times that's pointed out to him, he'll never feel any more compelled to stop and change. His own inflated and completely non-sensitive (as far as you know) ego gets in the way of his priorities, and it tends to detract from his true colours in every way possible. He'll deny conversation and belittle issues because he just doesn't care, or maybe it's not up to his "high standards" for worthwhile conversation. Perfect definition of a typical teenager. Another (minor) fault of his is his tendency to forget important details when they need to be relayed to others. He immediately regrets doing so right afterward, if he even remembers.
That facade of non-caring attitude is forced and built into him so firmly that he has issues admitting he has issues. If there isn't some sort of overlaying ironic theme in his mind to cover up, mask the issue and make it seem like it's actually plausible and not stupid, he refuses to speak up about things, or makes himself out to be a huge jackass when he's really just trying not to be a (bluh bluh) huge bother. His rudeness and stubbornness is deliberate -- he doesn't want to get too close to other people, because he knows that he can hurt them. It's one of his goals not to live chained down to guilts and regrets, which he has a lot of; part of escaping Bro's template is becoming a man and accepting what is. Perhaps he read in to that a bit too much. Dave can really only sustain his calm and careless act for so long; if he ends up in a situation where he looks stupid, such as being buried under a pile of puppet dick or dealing with impersonal crows, he just can't bring himself to stay mysterious and stoic. He flares out in a fit of rage and uncool.
Rose and Dave have a bit of a hard time getting along. Their conversations tend to diffuse into small competitions of who can be the better/bigger person via ironic cool-talk and pretentious bitchery [1 - canon source, recreatable in AU canon.]. Regardless of her pretentiousness, he still confides in her, and explains his discomfort with Bro's shitty sex puppets.
[1]
TT: In some cultures the persistent refusal of a lady's invitation to play a game with her would be a sign wanton disrespect. TT: Either that, or flagrant homosexuality.
TG: what oh no TG: no look TG: im busy ok TG: ive got a lot of shit on my plate TG: i am sort of a big deal ok?
TT: I know.
TT: Sometimes I wonder how you are ever allowed to pay for meals in restaurants.
TT: It must be hard to keep a low profile when you're always overhearing awed voices whisper, "It's that guy who has a blog."
Because he's built up an impenetrable fortress called apathy, he can't seem to face his morality when situations call for it [2 - canon source]. He plays the denial game to shield his own feelings, where his superiority complex comes into play once again. He downplays his true feelings for things to appear mature and admirable, when his act is about as see-through as a goddamn glass cup. Everyone can tell. Almost. He also has a weak spot for animals (example: a RAMBUNCTIOUS CROW flies into his room and attempts to steal his betas possibly to make a nest with, or maybe just for the sake of being a brainless feathery asshole and he accidentally launches his sword at it), shares subtle interests in furry art, perhaps from Jade. He drew her Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff furry art as a gift. God knows why.
[2]
TG: i said we agreed youd leave me alone to grieve
TG: didnt say whether i actually would or actually am
GC: W3LL, 4R3 YOU?
TG: i am grieving to the max like a widow on dead husband island
TG: behind these chill as fuck shades my face is having this crazy attack of the sads
TG: my rue is fucking bananas cant you tell
GC: 4RGH NO, 1 C4NT!
GC: YOU DONT SOUND S1NC3R3, BUT 1TS SO H4RD TO T3LL WH4T L4Y3R OF 1RONY R3MOV3D FROM R34L1TY YOUR FL1PP4NT R3M4RKS 4R3 SUPPOS3D TO B3
GC: 1 4M B3TT1NG YOU R34LLY 4R3 S4D NO M4TT3R HOW H1L4R1OUS 4ND 4LOOF YOU TH1NK YOUR3 B31NG
No matter how much he berates his friends, sans Jade for the most part, he still cares deeply for them, and will do about anything in his ability to protect them. This is why he earned the title "KNIGHT OF TIME" in that shitty MMORPG that they all play(ed) together. Perhaps their personalities clash at times -- it's nothing but an error of judgement and Dave's shitty "I don't really want to get along with anyone" attitude. He recognizes each and every one of them as capable people, even Rose, who's clearly a Flightly Broad. John, however, gets the most respect. Dave thoroughly depends on his friendship with him for comfort and reconciliation because they (basically though the internet) grew up together. John's been a constant for a long time, and if he loses him, he would have practically no one else to turn to for a shoulder to lean on. He looks up to and admires John in a way that can only be depicted through song: a true bromance, it's guy love between two guys. They're there for each other.
Despite wanting to look so cool and suave, Dave will bend in any way via influence from John and Bro. They are the people he depends on for a sense of security -- and the people who have seen him weak -- if they can get those kinds of reactions out of him, then clearly they must mean more than what the shallow terms "father" and "best friend" depict. John helped him shape his small bit of confidence and Bro taught him to stand up for himself, what more could he ask for?
"Is there anything not awesome about your BRO? No, you think not. "
Fortunately for him, he doesn't need to worry about bad influence from him. Minus the puppet romp. Yikes, definitely not cool.
Related to his issues with his appearance and mannerisms when he was younger, Dave has a huge superiority complex (see: history). He hates being inferior to people solely because he's worked so hard to gain respect; this respect that he has long established is sensitive in the way that pride is sensitive to a competitive person. It's just something he clings to for comfort, and if it's breached in any way, Dave becomes abrasive and quick to defend himself, whether it means tearing another person apart or not. He's just that kind of guy -- intensely caring about something else and quick to put his life and beliefs on the line. He's kind of a big deal after he starts to stand up for himself in school. Yes, he will quickly make it known in a conversation.
He thought Sburb was a piece of shit and didn't really want to play it, but his friends made him. All in all, Dave is truly a sweet guy deep beneath his layers of sick rhymes, irons in the fire, physical insecurities, apathy and ironic quirky personality traits. Also, he has a fondness for apple juice. Even if John ruined it for him. His typing quirk includes typing with all lowercase without proper syntax or punctuation aside from occasionally using '…' and '???'. It's notable that when he isn't in a chat, he uses proper punctuation, but still types in lowercase. This is displayed through his articles in GAMEBRO MAGAZINE. He does it because it's … need I say the word? Ironic.
COMPUTER APTITUDE: Dave is like the other three in his friend group; he's been around computers for a majority of his life and can do all of the basics and a few extras, such as setting up filters, passwording certain things and being able to hide browsing data. He's not a tech genius, however.
AU HISTORY:
Dave, like Rose, was born into the Lalonde family. He wasn't really aware of what happened after that -- it was pretty fast, after all. Mom and dad, now refereed to as Bro, went their separate ways early on in his life. Bro moved to a big city in Texas and raised Dave to be just as much of a cool motherfucker as him. Unfortunately, Bro had a weird taste in hobbies and unfortunately made a living off of fetishistic puppets featured in pornography, Dave grew up around these weird-ass things and quick accepted them for what they were -- not. He actually hated them, and tried to hide that under their IMMENSE LAYERS OF IRONY ("Also, for good measure, Mr. T is wearing a LEATHER THONG and handcuffed to a pantsless CHUCK NORRIS PUPPET. God you hope you can be as good as your BRO at this some day. You'd never tell him that though. ") Dave actually once confessed to Rose that he'd had nightmares of Lil' Cal watching him in his sleep.
Sans Bro's… strange interests, Dave grew to idolize him, mimicking his actions and speech patterns. Unfortunately, Bro didn't have much of a sustained interest in raising Dave as if he were his son, but looked after him as if he were his brother, so they were a bit distant, if anything. Lil' Cal, a creepy gangster puppet that Bro tortured raised Dave with, was another reason for his lack of attention. Bro fills their entire high rise apartment up with creepy puppets it wangster outfits, and Dave just can't stand to see them hanging alone (pun intended) and thinks they're kind of cool. Dave found the internet to seek comfort in -- that's where Rose could be accessed, after all -- and things spiraled into the uncanny zone from there on out. If it counts for anything, he quickly met John and Jade afterward. Out of everyone in his friend group, Dave felt the closest to John. He'd stay up late to continue conversations about his sick rhymes with him, and talk about his shit experiences at school. He used John as an outlet for his issues, and through those means, John quickly became his best friend.
Dave had a bit of a stuttering issue when he was younger because he was never a social butterfly -- actually, that was one of many issues. In school, kids used to make fun of him and physically harm him for having red eyes, for stuttering and for being an introvert, for having interests that they didn't approve of. He'd go back home, duck and avoid Bro as he went about cleaning all of his bruises off and attempting to cover them out. Bro, feeling ashamed of his son, sought a solution and eventually provided him with a pair of Kamina-esque glasses, stating that they'd help him grow a pair. From there on out, Dave sought to become his brother. He started tapping and spinning turntables, obsessively reading and checking the internet for hip and cool blogs, collecting dead things, taking pictures, playing video games and generally indulging in sweet irony. By age 9, he'd already started to fully take on Bro's gimmick of hipster interests and radiating cool. By 10 he'd started defending himself in fights, and pushing his superiority on to other people whether it was welcome or not. Ages 11 through 13 consisted of reaching a high tier of cool, and gaining the respect he so rightfully deserved after all of that time.
At age 13, he's trying to become independent and grow out of Bro's shadow, feeling that he had been in it for far too long. John suggested it via a letter that came with his new IRONIC STEN BILLER SHADES, and it seemed legit. More than legit. It seemed accurate. Dave donned these glasses in the proudest way. Hell, he still wears them.
During one of those long years, Rose introduced him to a partner-based MMORPG called SBURB that he really had no interest in at all at first, but tagged along with anyway, participating in it purely based on her wishes. That's how he met John and Jade (also through a chatting service called PesterChum ) and a certain group of Zodiac-themed trolls. It's in SBURB where he establishes his HASH MAP FETCH MODUS and gradually grows closer to his "friends" (as much as he doesn't want to admit this). Dave goes by turntechGodhead on SBURB, or TG for short.
After John told Dave that he was interested in going to Reims Academy, he worked his ass off in school to bring his grades up and get some GENUINELY COOL SCHOLARSHIPS in music ability. Bro also wanted to get rid of him, stating that he had "something to do" -- it was the perfect chance to do so.
Dave didn't tell John, Rose or Jade a single thing about it. There was no point. It was all for the sake of irony, a concept so complicated that it'd astound them with sheer eloquent points; he'd grow out of his brother's shadow by being independent. It all makes sense.
SAMPLES
INTRANET/1ST PERSON SAMPLE:
i don't see why i have to waste my time introducing myself. thats stupid and an invasion of established rights. but in case youre still hung up in ecstatic and staggering curiosity my names dave strider, and this man is sten biller. its much better to drop opinions on things worth spoken word instead of useless shit because this man is exactly the opposite of that. anyway, hes in the dictionary, yeah thats right, right there under the word ironic because hes ironic thats what he does, he breathes irony. phenomenal acting that makes you tasteless and ostentatious morons into cave dooks gargled horrid linear comedy winning a girl in walmart look like the dirt he fucking strides on when hes out there being and impelling force. you should laugh like drugged up hyenas at something that doesnt make you look like a giant tool, by the way. jokes like that go on papers that people are gonna swiftly toss in the trash where they belong after promptly wiping their asses with it. sten writes things even the pretentious dicks could get their necks in a knot about thats how many double takes they did when they found out that nonshit humor outside of wedgar eright's work exists.
LOG/3RD PERSON SAMPLE:
(note: this is a continuation of John Egbert’s sample, so the player gave me permission to “use him” in it!)
Dave Strider doesn’t have a single care in the world. He rolls his two-wheeled suitcase and carries his bags with nothing short of an air of chilled hauteur, not even glancing around to take in his surroundings; he just doesn’t care. He'll figure things out when the time calls for it. He’s got base to set up. He glances at the paper in his hand, then at the hallways which he had almost strolled by in idle thought.
“Oh,” he spoke to himself, “guess this is it. Oh boy.”
413B, huh? Interesting set of numbers, there. He scouts out each metal plate on every door and looks for 413, occasionally flipping his information card in his hand. Too bad the idiot that wrote this forgot to mention his roommate. That would’ve been hella nice, huh, maybe the poor sap got lost. Or hit by a rampant suitcase full of miscellaneous and heavy items. It’s wishful thinking, hoping for an inadequate soul who can’t bear to stand up for himself to share a room with him. Maybe no one at all. That'd be really nice.
He's going to march in to that dorm room and take over. That's right. He doesn't particularly give a shit about the details, or who he's staying with, as long as they're ready to surrender ever fiber of their space occupying over to him. Quickly and quietly, that's how he likes it. He's standing there looking almost looking perplexed, in front of his to-be dorm and, at intervals, tilting his head to get another artistic view of it. Soon, you will be the perfect chill den, he thinks to himself.
Dave quickly whips his head to one side, shifting the hair on his head over, every strand lands delicately in place. He's become a master of doing that. He takes one look at the door leading to his safe haven and nods, giving it the Strider Seal of Approval. Fuck yeah, that's going to be one cool room. Taking one long step after another, closer to that woody barrier with a knob, he leans in. Grasping the bronze doorknob in his hands, he twists and shoves it open.
John is an idiot.
Dave doesn't want to disclose what happened afterward and wants to pretend it didn’t happen because of purely how idiotic it is.
But it did happen, so let's recall that moment in all of its glory.
He did walk into his dorm and hear a clack, a clack of pure horror cemented into his mind. The clack of metal against the wood doorframe. When he first walked in, he glanced at John with surprised eyes, but this goddamn clank from above him, well, changed that. After the wretched clank, he felt his world collapse from the inside out. There's a fucking bucket, he thought, there's a bucket heading for me right now.
As as soon as he finished that thou--
CLANK. It was already to late. Dave, meet water. Lots of cold water. To the face and all over his torso and body. Dave now looks like a giant tool wearing a bucket on his head, and in response to this hideous prank, simply tilts his head down, back to normal level and glares at john through the metal container now resting and dripping on his head. He glares the deadliest glare he can possibly conjure through two surfaces. John better feel that white hot anger.
"Did you," Dave begins, whilst speaking through the untouched bucket, "think I didn't expect that?"
He slides his hands under the bucket, in the space between the metal and his face, slips his oh-so-ironic shades off and proceeds to wipe them on his relatively dry pants. After giving them a few strokes with the fabric, he slides them on to his face again and gives John a mighty thumbs-up.
"I'm going to leave this here," Dave continues, "and I'm going to pretend that didn't happen, Egbert."
HAVE YOU READ THE FAQ? A rabid wombat is a pretty cool animal eh, reads FAQs and doesn't afraid of anything.
Stuff that will be removed from this app later!!
REFERENCES :
HASH MAP FETCH MODUS:
http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002219
Vowel value = 1
Consonant value = 2
Total captchalogue spaces (0-9=10) / total of values = place in captchalogue
SWIG
- EX of consonant v vowel labeling.
The NINJA SWORD (2+1+2+2+1 + 2+2+1+2+2 = 17 % 10 = 7) occupies the same card as theJUICE (2+1+1+2+1 = 7 % 10 = 7), expelling the JUICE from your SYLLADEX.
It splashes all over your TURNTABLES and your copies of the BETA.
Argh!
PLAYER INFORMATION
PLAYER: Chelsea
AGE: 17
CONTACT: aim - smooth hazama
PERSONAL LJ: reload
CHARACTERS PLAYED: None.
CHARACTER INFORMATION
NAME: Dave Strider
CANON: MS Paint Adventures: Homestuck
CANON REFERENCE: http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Dave_Strider
AGE: 13
GENDER: Male
YEAR IN SCHOOL: 7th Grade
ENROLLMENT: Scholarships, as well as Bro's encouragement. Not that he wanted to follow John or anything, no.
APPEARANCE:
- Dave is a rather tall boy for his age, reaching about 169CM in height.
- He has crimson red eyes, but he wears aviators to cover them up, always. On top of that, he has slight bags under his eyes because he really doesn't care for his health.
- He's slim, with just enough muscle to get by.
- He has blonde side-swept hair.
- Pale because he almost never leaves his house.
- It's rare to see him without his signature red and white baseball record shirt. He wears it because it's ironic. Haha.
- With that, he always wears some combination of red, white and black. Always.
- He has defined facial bones, making him look older than he actually is.
PERSONALITY:
DON'T FORGET TO REREAD THIS it's probably filled with so many typos.
There's this really cool dude, ok? He's standing around being all chill, like cool dudes are known to do sometimes. A cool dude like this probably has a real cool name. But he probably wouldn't just tell you what it was if you asked. He'd be way too busy for that. Busy being totally sweet.
But you could always try to guess his name. And if you were right, he might nod ever so slightly. That's a cool dude's way of letting you know there might just be hope for you yet.
This guy doesn't have time for this sort of bullshit.
Dave is the epitome of "a cool bro". I mean, what thirteen-year-old boy drops sick beats and ill jams on turntables and mixing gears, preserves dead things and keeps a level-headed outlook in even the most grim of situations? He describes himself as a satirical ninja, able to see the irony and satire in things that "normal people" cannot, and prides himself on it. Irony within irony, inceptirony. Ironic. That's how he likes to describe himself. It's the theme of his entire existence, thanks to Bro. Every action he takes must present himself as a hip bro to the world, and they can be easily supplemented with his ill yet common excuse, "its ironic" . Doesn't matter if it's weird, unique, out there, uncool in your eyes, or common, if it's ironic, it's good. He won't bother to explain these subtleties to people, they're far too complicated for their unrefined tastes.
Strider pushes himself to be exactly this: an ironic teenager who doesn't bat an eye at the strange occurrences in his all-too-weird life. It's truly what makes him Dave Strider. If he has a remote advantage over you, he isn't afraid to state it in the bluntest way possible, if not jeer you for having less ability than he, and continuously bring it up until you feel the need to punch him. Things considered disconcerting to the general population don't faze Dave at all, he just doesn't care. I quote Dante from DMC wholeheartedly: "he's just too cool." He shelters any insecurities he had as a younger boy (and now, as a young man) with that enhanced almost all-too believable facade of cool; he ignores his issues in favor of appearing appealing to everyone else.
Despite his cool and admirably ignorant demeanor, Dave is extremely faulted. Being practically obsessed with coolness, he fails to see that he is also an INSUFFERABLE PRICK. He's arrogant, rather self centered, cheeky, stubborn and vulgar when it comes to important issues, and life in general. He's the kind of guy who rather speak up about things than listen to others, and no matter how many times that's pointed out to him, he'll never feel any more compelled to stop and change. His own inflated and completely non-sensitive (as far as you know) ego gets in the way of his priorities, and it tends to detract from his true colours in every way possible. He'll deny conversation and belittle issues because he just doesn't care, or maybe it's not up to his "high standards" for worthwhile conversation. Perfect definition of a typical teenager. Another (minor) fault of his is his tendency to forget important details when they need to be relayed to others. He immediately regrets doing so right afterward, if he even remembers.
That facade of non-caring attitude is forced and built into him so firmly that he has issues admitting he has issues. If there isn't some sort of overlaying ironic theme in his mind to cover up, mask the issue and make it seem like it's actually plausible and not stupid, he refuses to speak up about things, or makes himself out to be a huge jackass when he's really just trying not to be a (bluh bluh) huge bother. His rudeness and stubbornness is deliberate -- he doesn't want to get too close to other people, because he knows that he can hurt them. It's one of his goals not to live chained down to guilts and regrets, which he has a lot of; part of escaping Bro's template is becoming a man and accepting what is. Perhaps he read in to that a bit too much. Dave can really only sustain his calm and careless act for so long; if he ends up in a situation where he looks stupid, such as being buried under a pile of puppet dick or dealing with impersonal crows, he just can't bring himself to stay mysterious and stoic. He flares out in a fit of rage and uncool.
Rose and Dave have a bit of a hard time getting along. Their conversations tend to diffuse into small competitions of who can be the better/bigger person via ironic cool-talk and pretentious bitchery [1 - canon source, recreatable in AU canon.]. Regardless of her pretentiousness, he still confides in her, and explains his discomfort with Bro's shitty sex puppets.
[1]
TT: In some cultures the persistent refusal of a lady's invitation to play a game with her would be a sign wanton disrespect. TT: Either that, or flagrant homosexuality.
TG: what oh no TG: no look TG: im busy ok TG: ive got a lot of shit on my plate TG: i am sort of a big deal ok?
TT: I know.
TT: Sometimes I wonder how you are ever allowed to pay for meals in restaurants.
TT: It must be hard to keep a low profile when you're always overhearing awed voices whisper, "It's that guy who has a blog."
Because he's built up an impenetrable fortress called apathy, he can't seem to face his morality when situations call for it [2 - canon source]. He plays the denial game to shield his own feelings, where his superiority complex comes into play once again. He downplays his true feelings for things to appear mature and admirable, when his act is about as see-through as a goddamn glass cup. Everyone can tell. Almost. He also has a weak spot for animals (example: a RAMBUNCTIOUS CROW flies into his room and attempts to steal his betas possibly to make a nest with, or maybe just for the sake of being a brainless feathery asshole and he accidentally launches his sword at it), shares subtle interests in furry art, perhaps from Jade. He drew her Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff furry art as a gift. God knows why.
[2]
TG: i said we agreed youd leave me alone to grieve
TG: didnt say whether i actually would or actually am
GC: W3LL, 4R3 YOU?
TG: i am grieving to the max like a widow on dead husband island
TG: behind these chill as fuck shades my face is having this crazy attack of the sads
TG: my rue is fucking bananas cant you tell
GC: 4RGH NO, 1 C4NT!
GC: YOU DONT SOUND S1NC3R3, BUT 1TS SO H4RD TO T3LL WH4T L4Y3R OF 1RONY R3MOV3D FROM R34L1TY YOUR FL1PP4NT R3M4RKS 4R3 SUPPOS3D TO B3
GC: 1 4M B3TT1NG YOU R34LLY 4R3 S4D NO M4TT3R HOW H1L4R1OUS 4ND 4LOOF YOU TH1NK YOUR3 B31NG
No matter how much he berates his friends, sans Jade for the most part, he still cares deeply for them, and will do about anything in his ability to protect them. This is why he earned the title "KNIGHT OF TIME" in that shitty MMORPG that they all play(ed) together. Perhaps their personalities clash at times -- it's nothing but an error of judgement and Dave's shitty "I don't really want to get along with anyone" attitude. He recognizes each and every one of them as capable people, even Rose, who's clearly a Flightly Broad. John, however, gets the most respect. Dave thoroughly depends on his friendship with him for comfort and reconciliation because they (basically though the internet) grew up together. John's been a constant for a long time, and if he loses him, he would have practically no one else to turn to for a shoulder to lean on. He looks up to and admires John in a way that can only be depicted through song: a true bromance, it's guy love between two guys. They're there for each other.
Despite wanting to look so cool and suave, Dave will bend in any way via influence from John and Bro. They are the people he depends on for a sense of security -- and the people who have seen him weak -- if they can get those kinds of reactions out of him, then clearly they must mean more than what the shallow terms "father" and "best friend" depict. John helped him shape his small bit of confidence and Bro taught him to stand up for himself, what more could he ask for?
"Is there anything not awesome about your BRO? No, you think not. "
Fortunately for him, he doesn't need to worry about bad influence from him. Minus the puppet romp. Yikes, definitely not cool.
Related to his issues with his appearance and mannerisms when he was younger, Dave has a huge superiority complex (see: history). He hates being inferior to people solely because he's worked so hard to gain respect; this respect that he has long established is sensitive in the way that pride is sensitive to a competitive person. It's just something he clings to for comfort, and if it's breached in any way, Dave becomes abrasive and quick to defend himself, whether it means tearing another person apart or not. He's just that kind of guy -- intensely caring about something else and quick to put his life and beliefs on the line. He's kind of a big deal after he starts to stand up for himself in school. Yes, he will quickly make it known in a conversation.
He thought Sburb was a piece of shit and didn't really want to play it, but his friends made him. All in all, Dave is truly a sweet guy deep beneath his layers of sick rhymes, irons in the fire, physical insecurities, apathy and ironic quirky personality traits. Also, he has a fondness for apple juice. Even if John ruined it for him. His typing quirk includes typing with all lowercase without proper syntax or punctuation aside from occasionally using '…' and '???'. It's notable that when he isn't in a chat, he uses proper punctuation, but still types in lowercase. This is displayed through his articles in GAMEBRO MAGAZINE. He does it because it's … need I say the word? Ironic.
COMPUTER APTITUDE: Dave is like the other three in his friend group; he's been around computers for a majority of his life and can do all of the basics and a few extras, such as setting up filters, passwording certain things and being able to hide browsing data. He's not a tech genius, however.
AU HISTORY:
Dave, like Rose, was born into the Lalonde family. He wasn't really aware of what happened after that -- it was pretty fast, after all. Mom and dad, now refereed to as Bro, went their separate ways early on in his life. Bro moved to a big city in Texas and raised Dave to be just as much of a cool motherfucker as him. Unfortunately, Bro had a weird taste in hobbies and unfortunately made a living off of fetishistic puppets featured in pornography, Dave grew up around these weird-ass things and quick accepted them for what they were -- not. He actually hated them, and tried to hide that under their IMMENSE LAYERS OF IRONY ("Also, for good measure, Mr. T is wearing a LEATHER THONG and handcuffed to a pantsless CHUCK NORRIS PUPPET. God you hope you can be as good as your BRO at this some day. You'd never tell him that though. ") Dave actually once confessed to Rose that he'd had nightmares of Lil' Cal watching him in his sleep.
Sans Bro's… strange interests, Dave grew to idolize him, mimicking his actions and speech patterns. Unfortunately, Bro didn't have much of a sustained interest in raising Dave as if he were his son, but looked after him as if he were his brother, so they were a bit distant, if anything. Lil' Cal, a creepy gangster puppet that Bro tortured raised Dave with, was another reason for his lack of attention. Bro fills their entire high rise apartment up with creepy puppets it wangster outfits, and Dave just can't stand to see them hanging alone (pun intended) and thinks they're kind of cool. Dave found the internet to seek comfort in -- that's where Rose could be accessed, after all -- and things spiraled into the uncanny zone from there on out. If it counts for anything, he quickly met John and Jade afterward. Out of everyone in his friend group, Dave felt the closest to John. He'd stay up late to continue conversations about his sick rhymes with him, and talk about his shit experiences at school. He used John as an outlet for his issues, and through those means, John quickly became his best friend.
Dave had a bit of a stuttering issue when he was younger because he was never a social butterfly -- actually, that was one of many issues. In school, kids used to make fun of him and physically harm him for having red eyes, for stuttering and for being an introvert, for having interests that they didn't approve of. He'd go back home, duck and avoid Bro as he went about cleaning all of his bruises off and attempting to cover them out. Bro, feeling ashamed of his son, sought a solution and eventually provided him with a pair of Kamina-esque glasses, stating that they'd help him grow a pair. From there on out, Dave sought to become his brother. He started tapping and spinning turntables, obsessively reading and checking the internet for hip and cool blogs, collecting dead things, taking pictures, playing video games and generally indulging in sweet irony. By age 9, he'd already started to fully take on Bro's gimmick of hipster interests and radiating cool. By 10 he'd started defending himself in fights, and pushing his superiority on to other people whether it was welcome or not. Ages 11 through 13 consisted of reaching a high tier of cool, and gaining the respect he so rightfully deserved after all of that time.
At age 13, he's trying to become independent and grow out of Bro's shadow, feeling that he had been in it for far too long. John suggested it via a letter that came with his new IRONIC STEN BILLER SHADES, and it seemed legit. More than legit. It seemed accurate. Dave donned these glasses in the proudest way. Hell, he still wears them.
During one of those long years, Rose introduced him to a partner-based MMORPG called SBURB that he really had no interest in at all at first, but tagged along with anyway, participating in it purely based on her wishes. That's how he met John and Jade (also through a chatting service called PesterChum ) and a certain group of Zodiac-themed trolls. It's in SBURB where he establishes his HASH MAP FETCH MODUS and gradually grows closer to his "friends" (as much as he doesn't want to admit this). Dave goes by turntechGodhead on SBURB, or TG for short.
After John told Dave that he was interested in going to Reims Academy, he worked his ass off in school to bring his grades up and get some GENUINELY COOL SCHOLARSHIPS in music ability. Bro also wanted to get rid of him, stating that he had "something to do" -- it was the perfect chance to do so.
Dave didn't tell John, Rose or Jade a single thing about it. There was no point. It was all for the sake of irony, a concept so complicated that it'd astound them with sheer eloquent points; he'd grow out of his brother's shadow by being independent. It all makes sense.
SAMPLES
INTRANET/1ST PERSON SAMPLE:
i don't see why i have to waste my time introducing myself. thats stupid and an invasion of established rights. but in case youre still hung up in ecstatic and staggering curiosity my names dave strider, and this man is sten biller. its much better to drop opinions on things worth spoken word instead of useless shit because this man is exactly the opposite of that. anyway, hes in the dictionary, yeah thats right, right there under the word ironic because hes ironic thats what he does, he breathes irony. phenomenal acting that makes you tasteless and ostentatious morons into cave dooks gargled horrid linear comedy winning a girl in walmart look like the dirt he fucking strides on when hes out there being and impelling force. you should laugh like drugged up hyenas at something that doesnt make you look like a giant tool, by the way. jokes like that go on papers that people are gonna swiftly toss in the trash where they belong after promptly wiping their asses with it. sten writes things even the pretentious dicks could get their necks in a knot about thats how many double takes they did when they found out that nonshit humor outside of wedgar eright's work exists.
LOG/3RD PERSON SAMPLE:
(note: this is a continuation of John Egbert’s sample, so the player gave me permission to “use him” in it!)
Dave Strider doesn’t have a single care in the world. He rolls his two-wheeled suitcase and carries his bags with nothing short of an air of chilled hauteur, not even glancing around to take in his surroundings; he just doesn’t care. He'll figure things out when the time calls for it. He’s got base to set up. He glances at the paper in his hand, then at the hallways which he had almost strolled by in idle thought.
“Oh,” he spoke to himself, “guess this is it. Oh boy.”
413B, huh? Interesting set of numbers, there. He scouts out each metal plate on every door and looks for 413, occasionally flipping his information card in his hand. Too bad the idiot that wrote this forgot to mention his roommate. That would’ve been hella nice, huh, maybe the poor sap got lost. Or hit by a rampant suitcase full of miscellaneous and heavy items. It’s wishful thinking, hoping for an inadequate soul who can’t bear to stand up for himself to share a room with him. Maybe no one at all. That'd be really nice.
He's going to march in to that dorm room and take over. That's right. He doesn't particularly give a shit about the details, or who he's staying with, as long as they're ready to surrender ever fiber of their space occupying over to him. Quickly and quietly, that's how he likes it. He's standing there looking almost looking perplexed, in front of his to-be dorm and, at intervals, tilting his head to get another artistic view of it. Soon, you will be the perfect chill den, he thinks to himself.
Dave quickly whips his head to one side, shifting the hair on his head over, every strand lands delicately in place. He's become a master of doing that. He takes one look at the door leading to his safe haven and nods, giving it the Strider Seal of Approval. Fuck yeah, that's going to be one cool room. Taking one long step after another, closer to that woody barrier with a knob, he leans in. Grasping the bronze doorknob in his hands, he twists and shoves it open.
John is an idiot.
Dave doesn't want to disclose what happened afterward and wants to pretend it didn’t happen because of purely how idiotic it is.
But it did happen, so let's recall that moment in all of its glory.
He did walk into his dorm and hear a clack, a clack of pure horror cemented into his mind. The clack of metal against the wood doorframe. When he first walked in, he glanced at John with surprised eyes, but this goddamn clank from above him, well, changed that. After the wretched clank, he felt his world collapse from the inside out. There's a fucking bucket, he thought, there's a bucket heading for me right now.
As as soon as he finished that thou--
CLANK. It was already to late. Dave, meet water. Lots of cold water. To the face and all over his torso and body. Dave now looks like a giant tool wearing a bucket on his head, and in response to this hideous prank, simply tilts his head down, back to normal level and glares at john through the metal container now resting and dripping on his head. He glares the deadliest glare he can possibly conjure through two surfaces. John better feel that white hot anger.
"Did you," Dave begins, whilst speaking through the untouched bucket, "think I didn't expect that?"
He slides his hands under the bucket, in the space between the metal and his face, slips his oh-so-ironic shades off and proceeds to wipe them on his relatively dry pants. After giving them a few strokes with the fabric, he slides them on to his face again and gives John a mighty thumbs-up.
"I'm going to leave this here," Dave continues, "and I'm going to pretend that didn't happen, Egbert."
HAVE YOU READ THE FAQ? A rabid wombat is a pretty cool animal eh, reads FAQs and doesn't afraid of anything.
Stuff that will be removed from this app later!!
REFERENCES :
HASH MAP FETCH MODUS:
http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002219
Vowel value = 1
Consonant value = 2
Total captchalogue spaces (0-9=10) / total of values = place in captchalogue
SWIG
- EX of consonant v vowel labeling.
The NINJA SWORD (2+1+2+2+1 + 2+2+1+2+2 = 17 % 10 = 7) occupies the same card as theJUICE (2+1+1+2+1 = 7 % 10 = 7), expelling the JUICE from your SYLLADEX.
It splashes all over your TURNTABLES and your copies of the BETA.
Argh!