The First Signs...

[strive4balance]

As I go through my process of 4qf I think about what my mistakes were, early in the process. 5+ years ago when I arrived for the first time I was drug and alcohol free. I figured I would likely be bombarded with alcohol but I had no idea at the amount of drugs I would be offered. On my very first event at 4QF I was offered "truffles", which in my

Comments

[gwyndolaeth]

maybe i'm misinterpreting, and in no way am i trying to contradict you on experiences you had i wasn't there to share, but i'm getting the feeling that this entry is trying to describe Four Quarters as (more or less) an entire community of drug abusers

Bad?

[strive4balance]

I am sorry that you have taken my post as an insult to 4qf, in fact I don't mean it that way at all. I haven't said anything bad about anyone, only have shared my experiences. I share my experiences because I have found that others have shared the same experiences and I would like to reach out to those people. After leaving 4qf (I was staff and I lived there) I looked for counseling and therapy for the feeling of abandoment that I felt. In that therapy and we broke down the details of 4qf and have determined that indeed my experience has signs of being an abusive cult. 4QF is NOT BAD. My opinion about 4qf is not what I was sharing... I was sharing my ACOA and alanon experiences there. How I covered stuff and how others around me covered it. How it was swept under the carpet and can't be talked about. I was simply discussing MY EXPERIENCES and in no way did I mean any harm to 4qf. I hope that 4qf succeeds and is granted exactly what they want/desire from the great mother earth. I hope that 4qf is good for you. I pray that you only

Re: Bad?

[gwyndolaeth]

i appreciate your response, and perhaps i overreacted a bit... the issues you discuss strike a chord with me too, but thankfully, i have been able to overcome them through being there, rather than having those issues exacerbated. i really am sorry you had those kind of experiences there.

i'm sorry if i jumped the gun a bit -- i've just never really felt like i had a "real" family or "home" before i started staffing, and i can be protective of that type of thing.

i hope you're making progress along your path to healing... there are a bunch of people who miss you on the land.

Re: Bad?

[strive4balance]

I totally understand the feelings of "real" family and "home" at 4qf. I also suffered from a broken home and simply found a community/family at 4qf that I could support. If you go back and read my posts you see that I have like 3 posts regarding my feelings of abandonment after I left 4qf. When I left 4qf I lost what I thought was my "real" family and now I find myself alone to deal with my feelings. No one wants to get involved, no ones wants to get in trouble, no one cares enough to call and ask how I am. I was very protective but now I realize that it was not what it seemed. I hope that you NEVER EVER have these experiences and I pray that your closest of friends/family that you made at 4qf remain that way regardless of where your path takes you and that their love is/will be unconditional, like real family is. I WISH WISH and PRAY that those people who missed me would call and say that, as I am hurt and I feel abandoned. I am heartbroken at the loss of friendship/family that I EVER had has now abandoned me.