I don't know much about what is happening right now.
In regards to wank in the Supernatural fandom, that is. What got me interested let me know it was even happening, to tell the truth, was that I was scrolling through some emails, and found that it showed up on unfunnybusiness, instead of fandomwank.
"Huh," I said. And then I read it. I shouldn't have read it. I - wow. It's hard to formulate thoughts on this issue coherently. I'll just say this: I hate being touched. I hate hugs, unless I've known you a while. I hate physical contact with random strangers. Don't touch me unless we're friends, basically. Don't get huggy unless I'm huggy first.
I hate being around drunk people. I hate being drunk, because I'm regretful later and uncontrollable during. I don't trust myself when I'm drunk, and I can't trust other people.
Talking about sex, listening to sex, looking at people having sex? I don't like it. Porn is different, and degrees of separation from the talking, listening, looking - those help. But if we're talking about me having sex, listening to sex happen next door or in the same room, or looking at people have sex in the same room? I have to leave. I want you to know it doesn't make me a prude. It means that I have boundaries and issues you don't need to know about.
Most importantly, now - if I say "stop," "no," or "I want to leave," you can damn well be assured that I'm leaving, and that you are stopping and taking no for an answer. If I have to touch you, to move you out of my way? I will be very angry. Especially if you are drunk and naked, because you've just violated every single thing I've mentioned above. I will be furious.
If I don't say anything, that doesn't mean I'm happy with the situation, either. That means I'm uncomfortable, and that I don't feel safe. That I don't feel safe. Does that make sense?
To go full circle, and back into the Supernatural fandom, I'll say this: if I went to a con, and was convinced to go up to a hotel room where an orgy was taking place, where I was being coerced into participating, where I was blocked from leaving by a naked woman...I can't say what I'd have done. I'd probably have reacted very violently.
I wouldn't have felt safe.
What I said up there is vague and I won't go into details, but it all has to do with personal issues. I've probably talked about some, I'm coming to terms with others, but this is how I, personally, feel about it.
"Huh," I said. And then I read it. I shouldn't have read it. I - wow. It's hard to formulate thoughts on this issue coherently. I'll just say this: I hate being touched. I hate hugs, unless I've known you a while. I hate physical contact with random strangers. Don't touch me unless we're friends, basically. Don't get huggy unless I'm huggy first.
I hate being around drunk people. I hate being drunk, because I'm regretful later and uncontrollable during. I don't trust myself when I'm drunk, and I can't trust other people.
Talking about sex, listening to sex, looking at people having sex? I don't like it. Porn is different, and degrees of separation from the talking, listening, looking - those help. But if we're talking about me having sex, listening to sex happen next door or in the same room, or looking at people have sex in the same room? I have to leave. I want you to know it doesn't make me a prude. It means that I have boundaries and issues you don't need to know about.
Most importantly, now - if I say "stop," "no," or "I want to leave," you can damn well be assured that I'm leaving, and that you are stopping and taking no for an answer. If I have to touch you, to move you out of my way? I will be very angry. Especially if you are drunk and naked, because you've just violated every single thing I've mentioned above. I will be furious.
If I don't say anything, that doesn't mean I'm happy with the situation, either. That means I'm uncomfortable, and that I don't feel safe. That I don't feel safe. Does that make sense?
To go full circle, and back into the Supernatural fandom, I'll say this: if I went to a con, and was convinced to go up to a hotel room where an orgy was taking place, where I was being coerced into participating, where I was blocked from leaving by a naked woman...I can't say what I'd have done. I'd probably have reacted very violently.
I wouldn't have felt safe.
What I said up there is vague and I won't go into details, but it all has to do with personal issues. I've probably talked about some, I'm coming to terms with others, but this is how I, personally, feel about it.