(no subject)
not last night but the night before was fun. keelin was out so i had the computer to myself with out being bothered. and since i cant go anywhere i sat on it for 3 hours. but i tlaked to brian for the whole time. i miss talking to him for long periods of time. i really dont have any guy friends who i can do that with. i promised him a lot. but its promises i can keep. and im positive i can. and he made me promises and its all good. so any way.. i made alexa a layout today. i've done a lot of layout's lately.. but whatever i dont have anything better to do. im really gonna kill kenneth if he was lying to me. because he's just a dick. and he had no right to say what he said. and if erika and ashle told him like he said they did then they have no right to say what they said. its ridiculous. i hate when people assume things. like they assumed derek was bi.. its like you fucking idiots no he's not so just shut up. and if erika or ashly is reading this and you didnt say that then im sorry but its what i was told. so anyway.. i played the question game with brian.. deffinatly learned a lot about him.. like i found out he liked me.. which i never knew.. but ya know.. no body tells me when they fucking like me. whatever .. ill have to move on.
nobody has any idea how much i regret going out with kevin. i didnt know him. i regret telling him i love him when i didnt. he didnt know me and still doesnt know me. and he dropped me on my ass and kicked me to the curb like it was nothing. why in the world would he like me anyway? theres no reason. i regret a lot. its acctually kinda sad. the other night i was hysterically crying with kayla and keelin. we were just talking and i started crying. i mean i had a reason and everything but i didnt wanna cry over that. but i did anyway. im not over it yet. im never going to be over it. everyone tells me i've gotta move on. but how can you move on from something you thought was so perfect. a promise was made and then broken. so from now on i will only make promises i can keep. i think its ridiculous how people can just make promises and i hate that fact that they dont care. its like oopsies i broke my promise and they go doing it all the time. its just annoying. i've been really uptight lately. i think its becuase my ankle's broken and i cant do anything and schools starting soon. i dont know.. whatever. i want derek to come home i need to talk to him..cuz well he's my boyfriend and i'd like to talk to him. whatever
and last night.. oh man.. the days was on and me and keelin were home alone. OH MAN! coopr is fucking MAD HOT SEX like no one understands. and they lost the baby and i wanted to kill the commercials cuz they kept getting annoying. but me and keelin had the bottle of soda.. screaming at the TV cuz we're idiots like that. and oh man .. haha. its kinda weird. cuz i can see that as being my house, and my family. just with less money. yea so thats it. bye bye
i love derek so much ♥