Marena (I & I) on love and loss....
I miss you... I love you...
come here... I want you to call me baby and kiss my cheeks...
what happened? I wonder. maybe I was fooled... maybe you charmed me. but you called my instincts insecurities and told me not to fear. was I right all the while? could it be that you never loved me? I wonder.
I have no doubt that I love you. I know what that means... I get it. I don't think you get it. I don't think you understand. how many times have we talked about God and love, life and the unity of all things? how many times have you told me that you love me? I lost count. and still I wonder what those words meant to you. I know what love means to me, do you? I have given of myself again and again... for Your sake. even when it was difficult... what have I asked for?
you've asked why I love you. to answer your persistent question: I love you because of who You Are. it's simple... really simple. I recognize that we are all this One. why do we seem divided? I wonder. to awaken and uncover It... Him... Her... God... Reality... Truth... Love? love... genuine, primordial love and the empathy that accompanies it.... is this the Way to relate to each being... so that we recognize it as Being? I wonder. is it better to settle and concentrate your love, cultivating it within and practicing it with one who loves you... or is it better to spread it wide and thin through many encounters, never knowing its potential depths? is monogamy a meditation? what is love? why life? consult Rumi.
I love you because of who You Are and who I Am, because of the Destiny that brought us together and because of the Dharma that dictates my actions. I want to be with you because I perceived that you understood at least that question... or had the capacity to understand. regarding our relationship...we've made choices and practiced ourselves in certain behaviors... have they brought us closer to or further from Truth? was I mistaken to begin with or did we/do we choose this Path? will the choices we make in the near future move us forward or backward on the Path? I wonder.
Most likely you will tell me that you don't want to be with me. You will probably say that you love me but that you are not in love with me. also, you will probably say that it's not me, it's you. I understand these things to mean that you don't know what Love is and that you are not ready to find out. I understand completely. I don't fault you your ignorance. In fact, I love you anyway. there's a reason love is called unconditional.
I observe that Marena feels she is unraveling. I observe Marena feels hurt beyond anything she can remember ever feeling. But is her life actually falling apart? does her purpose end here? will she never love again? of course not. don't be silly. choices I've made have led to this outcome and it is what it is. while Marena feels miserable, I accept that everything is everything. I accept life as a series of games and outcomes. I accept that the Path is also the Destination.
so here I remain... awaiting your decision.... stuck in limbo...
always...
...always,
stuck in limbo (I & I).
come here... I want you to call me baby and kiss my cheeks...
what happened? I wonder. maybe I was fooled... maybe you charmed me. but you called my instincts insecurities and told me not to fear. was I right all the while? could it be that you never loved me? I wonder.
I have no doubt that I love you. I know what that means... I get it. I don't think you get it. I don't think you understand. how many times have we talked about God and love, life and the unity of all things? how many times have you told me that you love me? I lost count. and still I wonder what those words meant to you. I know what love means to me, do you? I have given of myself again and again... for Your sake. even when it was difficult... what have I asked for?
you've asked why I love you. to answer your persistent question: I love you because of who You Are. it's simple... really simple. I recognize that we are all this One. why do we seem divided? I wonder. to awaken and uncover It... Him... Her... God... Reality... Truth... Love? love... genuine, primordial love and the empathy that accompanies it.... is this the Way to relate to each being... so that we recognize it as Being? I wonder. is it better to settle and concentrate your love, cultivating it within and practicing it with one who loves you... or is it better to spread it wide and thin through many encounters, never knowing its potential depths? is monogamy a meditation? what is love? why life? consult Rumi.
I love you because of who You Are and who I Am, because of the Destiny that brought us together and because of the Dharma that dictates my actions. I want to be with you because I perceived that you understood at least that question... or had the capacity to understand. regarding our relationship...we've made choices and practiced ourselves in certain behaviors... have they brought us closer to or further from Truth? was I mistaken to begin with or did we/do we choose this Path? will the choices we make in the near future move us forward or backward on the Path? I wonder.
Most likely you will tell me that you don't want to be with me. You will probably say that you love me but that you are not in love with me. also, you will probably say that it's not me, it's you. I understand these things to mean that you don't know what Love is and that you are not ready to find out. I understand completely. I don't fault you your ignorance. In fact, I love you anyway. there's a reason love is called unconditional.
I observe that Marena feels she is unraveling. I observe Marena feels hurt beyond anything she can remember ever feeling. But is her life actually falling apart? does her purpose end here? will she never love again? of course not. don't be silly. choices I've made have led to this outcome and it is what it is. while Marena feels miserable, I accept that everything is everything. I accept life as a series of games and outcomes. I accept that the Path is also the Destination.
so here I remain... awaiting your decision.... stuck in limbo...
always...
...always,
stuck in limbo (I & I).