this is long, long overdue. and if anyone has kept me on as a friend thinking i may pop back in, well, i suppose this is for you. (it's going to be long, so hang on
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i'm mostly feeling 2 and 3, with maybe a hint of 1, not that i think you're gone off the deep end or that i'm angry, but just because of the loaded connotations of the language with christianity and how it frequently gets (mis)used around me.
for someone to get me, understand me, and love me. and, in my life, that didn't (and won't) come in the form of another person. it simply can't.
i think this is a really intense and universal realization for all of us as humans. where we go from there with it, depends on the person. it totally resonates with me too, even the parts about adolescence and not fitting in, and even the parts about thinking that my trans stuff explained it all, but it didn't exactly. i've been pursuing a similar process of letting go, and for me personally its a mix of buddhism and therapy.
thanks for updating -- i like knowing you're out there in the ether and hearing about your life, even if its sporadically, even if its about your spiritual journey. or, especially if its that!
Re: hey, thanksraybearAugust 31 2007, 01:24:33 UTC
you definitely shouldn't change what's true to you. and when i said i had some of those feelings, it doesn't mean they're the most prominent. i think talking about spirituality in general is hard in our culture, because it has so many 'bad' associations, whether from politics or cults or history or whatever. but when it comes to individuals, the language that best works for us is what we use, because its the only tool we have!
you should keep checking in! its good to read updates from old friends.
I've thought a LOT about this post over the last several years - primarily because I'd also come to know Christ...and understand so much more about...what is important, what Love and grace are....all of those things.
You may...never come back around. But I think of you often and hope that you're well.
Comments 4
for someone to get me, understand me, and love me. and, in my life, that didn't (and won't) come in the form of another person. it simply can't.
i think this is a really intense and universal realization for all of us as humans. where we go from there with it, depends on the person. it totally resonates with me too, even the parts about adolescence and not fitting in, and even the parts about thinking that my trans stuff explained it all, but it didn't exactly. i've been pursuing a similar process of letting go, and for me personally its a mix of buddhism and therapy.
thanks for updating -- i like knowing you're out there in the ether and hearing about your life, even if its sporadically, even if its about your spiritual journey. or, especially if its that!
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you should keep checking in! its good to read updates from old friends.
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You may...never come back around. But I think of you often and hope that you're well.
~ peas
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