[This is Splendid's house!
It appears to be in the process of burning merrily to the ground.And this is Splendid! He's using his neighbor's hose to try and douse the blaze. It's hardly super effective, but he doesn't seem to worried about it. The fail hero is even humming
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[So saying, he aims the hosespray higher.]
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...Splendid...what happened?
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I-Is there anything I can do to help? U-um...[Derp derp derp.]
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Hmm.....what's your favorite kind of bread?
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and sprays himself in the face while being so distracted. Good job indeed.]
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Whew!
[then he starts....laughing. Biggest moron or biggest moron?]
Hahaha, well, now there's no way I can catch on fire! I'm too wet- what a great idea!
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Fire is very purifying.
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[spraaaaay]
What might you be knitting, miss Petunia?
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[is there something distinctly wrong with that idea? yes, yes there is.
the pile of wool in her lap is a yellow mess.
Petunia can't really knit.]
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Would you like me to help you?
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